The Things I've Heard Today
by BritCat - Twilight Sassenach
Summary: Normal Twilight, but Bella has a little disruption - she can only hear 15% of the world around her. How would this change the story, and some of the more critical moments? What sort of trouble can she possibly get into now? M for Graphic/Triggering Descriptions. One lemon-ish bit.
1. Chapter 1

I stared out of the window, my right hand gripping the car door firmly, my left hand curled into a tight ball. Charlie was going the speed limit. He was safe. I was safe. I could feel the low vibrations of the car through my seat, and the loud white noise that was the rain pelting the roof of the car. A flicker of movement on the left caught my eye. Charlie had waved his hand to catch my attention.

"How was the flight?" He asked, turning his head towards me, and keeping his gaze locked firmly on the road. He'd kept conversation to a bare minimum, sensing my discomfort. We were almost at Forks now.

"It was good. I think I recognized one of the flight attendants from the last time I was here" I enunciated carefully. Charlie smiled. We were nearly at the house.

"I left your room like it was before, though your mom and I splurged for a double bed. Lady at the store picked out the colours of the sheets and stuff."

"Cool. Thank you. I'm sure it'll be great Dad."

He went back to paying more attention to the road, and I rubbed my thigh reflexively. It didn't hurt anymore, but it was a habit I had fallen into; scratching at stitches. Another wave entered my line of sight. I looked at Charlie again.

"I've already signed you into the high school here, and I – uh – I kind of bought you a homecoming gift," he looked sheepish. I was instantly suspicious.

"Did you say homecoming gift?"

"Yeah I did. I figured that you'd probably need to find your way around town, and since you have no issue driving yourself places, I went and found you something big and safe. Seriously though, the thing runs great" Charlie smiled. It at least had a nickname already. The Thing. I was imagining a tank, so I smiled back apprehensively. "I bought it from Billy, you remember the Black's right?"

"You really didn't need to" I started, and as we turned the corner onto the street I saw it. The Thing. It was red, rusty, and incredibly tank-like. I had to admit. I would be fine in the cab of the massive monster.

I got out of the car as soon as possible, racing carefully towards the truck, while Charlie grabbed my lone suitcase from the back of the cruiser. Up close, it was just what I hoped. Tank-like. Indestructible looking. The type of vehicle that would flatten and roll over others without scratching the paint job. I looked round quickly for Charlie, who was already at the front door.

 _Thanks_. My eyes filled with embarrassing tears. _Welcome_. He looked away quickly, making himself busy with the suitcase and the door. Maybe these next few days wouldn't be as tough as I hoped. I went upstairs and unpacked slowly. Putting my younger self's decorations away, and reorganizing as I went. If this was going to be home now, I wanted it as homely as possible. I guess I was making a lot of noise with the furniture moving, because Charlie tapped me on the shoulder, making me jump. I hadn't noticed his entrance.

"I got that. You take the easier stuff." He motioned towards the bed I was pushing towards the wall furthest from the door. It would be directly under the window, but I would definitely see the door opening that way. Charlie started moving, the strain making blood vessels protrude from his neck slightly. I cleared off the desk quickly, and started yanking it, to where the bed had been. I would also angle this so that when I sat in the chair, I could see the door. My walls looked remarkably bare when I had finally taken down the remnants of childhood drawings. They were all safely in a box, which for now was serving as the stand for my printer. I made a mental note to buy something to spruce the place up a little. Maybe a string of white Christmas lights or something.

I slept restlessly. Tinnitus in my ears rang so loudly it was almost painful. I could also hear the thrum of rain on the window, and feel the shaking of the pane against the wind. I'd get used to it.

My phone's vibration on my pillow woke me in the morning. It was Renee. She was asking how things were going, and had undoubtedly forgotten the time difference. I turned off the alarm I had set for an hour from now and proceeded to text her, reassure her, and fill her in on my semi-eventful day. I had, after all, acquired a tank-like truck. Charlie's cruiser was gone, I could see that from my room. I wandered downstairs in my pyjamas, concocted breakfast and composed a shopping list. We were badly in need of some essentials. Coffee. Milk. Eggs. Most dinner foods. I'd be taking over the kitchen duties from now on for sure. Charlie had left me a note, reminding me that the school was just off the highway. An unnecessary reminder, really, as everything in this town was just off the highway.

I sat debating how I would approach the school populous. Should I explain? Could I just roll with it? Of course I could, but people would probably find me rude. I had specifically asked Charlie not to mention anything to anyone down here. Aside from Billy Black, who knew everything about my family, nobody would know how little I could hear them. Fifteen percent. Maybe. That was my magic number when concentrating. I could hear fifteen percent of things going on around me now. If there was loud and persistent noise, like the buzz of a crowd or the roar of a car, then that number probably hovered closer to ten. In a quiet room where I could focus, and with the speaker facing me directly, we increased my odds to around twenty. I had never before taken little things, like the sound of my own voice, for granted. It sounded warped and strange now. I suppose I would figure out my bearings as I went.

My watch buzzed once to remind me of the hour, and I hurried upstairs to get dressed. When I came back downstairs I was flying so fast I nearly missed a step. I continued out of the door, and headed towards my truck. It started with a soft rumble – or what was probably more likely a thundering roar, based on how hard the wheel was vibrating under my fingers. I guess it was perfect for the mostly deaf girl. The thing handled pretty well, and felt like it wouldn't go anywhere near the max speed limit of the car, which I was very content with. At first I was concerned that my rusty old truck might stand out, but I soon realised that I had been thinking of Phoenix parking lots. The nicest thing I discovered in the school lot was a new-ish silver Volvo, and that stood out. As I parked I noticed some heads turn. Ah. The truck was really loud.

I stepped outside into the misting drizzle with a sigh, and headed quickly towards the building marked with a sign that read 'Reception'. As I approached the counter, a warm and friendly looking lady greeted me with a massive smile.

"Isabella Swan I presume?" She asked. I nodded with a smile. She ruffled through some papers on her desk and pulled out a small paper.

"This one is for your teachers to sign and let me –" She turned around mid-sentence and I lost the rest of it. Her voice was low and smooth, and I had been relying on her lips. " – to help you get around." She presented me with a small map.

"Thank you," I said, turning quickly, and walking hurriedly away; I did not want to be late for my first class.


	2. Chapter 2

"Thank you," I said, turning quickly, and walking hurriedly away; I did not want to be late for my first class.

It was drizzling harder as I left the office building. I glowered at the sky in defiance, pulling my face into my hood, and nearly ran face-first into someone. His name was Eric, and he looked like the overly helpful type. He spoke very quickly, but thankfully in a voice that ran a little louder and clearer than others. He wouldn't be hard to hear, as long as I was facing him. Thank goodness. He helpfully grabbed my map and looked at my first class.

"Building three? Ah I'll show you –" His head turned away, " – class together."

"Thanks," I said quickly, assuming he'd offered to show me the way because we had class together. It wasn't really necessary, as the building had a large '3' painted on the side. He led me to class, and I answered as many of his questions as possible, in as few words as possible. He didn't seem to notice, and also appeared to enjoy the attention I was attracting. Of course I would be the talk of the school. A town this small? Big gossip.

As we entered the class, we hung up our raincoats, and I detoured to hand my teacher the slip of paper. He gawked and smiled, and sent me to a vacant seat, without requiring I introduce myself. Of course I flushed anyway. My new classmates managed to stare at me, and to avoid their gazes I pretended to be studying the reading list, and then diligently following the teacher's words. His mouth would be harder to read. He had a moustache which hid his upper lip. Thankfully he had a booming voice. Maybe this day wouldn't be bad after all. Perhaps everyone here was used to talking over rain, and had to be louder.

" –Phoenix huh?" I heard. I turned to look at the speaker.

"Pardon?"

"I.. I just asked if you were the new girl from Phoneix. Kinda dumb I guess, cause it's obvious."

"A little. I mean, how many new students do you guys get around here?" I asked jokingly, trying to be nice and not sarcastically quip at anyone. I need to be nice. People are going to assume I'm rudely ignoring them anyway.

"That's a fair point."

A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm. It would be a sad day. I had to correct everyone I met on the fact that I preferred Bella to Isabella – I'd have to talk to Charlie about that when I got home. My morning flew by, at a speed that was almost unbelievable. I had multiple teachers, only one who required I introduce myself. Mr Varner. He taught Trigonometry, and so I knew without a doubt that we wouldn't get on at all anyway. His forcing me to stammer out an introduction red-faced in front of the class was icing on the cake. He also had a voice that didn't register with me, at all. I'd have to pay extra attention in that class. I'd have to ask a classmate for notes, and I had met a wonderfully bubbly individual who would probably be willing to help.

I was moderately convinced that her name was Jessica, although she had kept talking at such a speed her words seemed to blur together. I was about to ask her to slow down a little so that I could keep up when she looked up suddenly towards the door. I hadn't heard the lunch bell, but I instantly picked up on the expression of joy that came from escaping classes. Jessica was already talking about some school event, while trying to tease information out of me. Half of me believed that she truly wanted to be friends, and the other half saw the fact that she reveled in the new-found attention that I was attracting.

As we made our way to lunch, I walked beside another girl, Andrea, or Angela, I needed to see the name spoken again, as Jess had introduced her far too quickly. She was clear voiced and quiet, yet when she spoke she directed comments straight at me. Her unconscious mannerisms made her one of the easiest people to read so far.

As we sat in the cafeteria and I looked around at several faces I'd probably just been introduced to, and would have to deduce the names from later, I noticed a strange collection of students sitting at a table furthest away from everyone else. I will admit, I hadn't been to Forks a lot since I was about 10, but I would have remembered these people. They were – to put it frankly – beautiful. They all looked as if carved from marble and posed casually at a lunch table. They weren't eating, they weren't gawking, they were just still. They all looked nothing alike, some lean, some lanky, some tiny, an array of hair colours and facial features – except for one thing. They all had beautiful alabaster skin, and dark circles under their eyes, as if they hadn't slept for days.

I raised my hand to begin signing – a habit I had gotten into when I wanted to be quiet – and stopped myself. I used that raised hand to attract Jessica's attention.

"Who are they?" I asked in what I hoped was a gentle murmur. She looked around, and then looked back, smiling smugly. The bronze haired boy suddenly looked our way. He looked bored, as if he turned only by habit, or as an involuntary response to a name call, and had already decided not to answer the caller. I looked back to Jessica to ascertain the answer. She giggled and leaned in to murmur.

"That's Edward, Emmett, and Less Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hell." I was sure I'd heard Less and Hell wrong. Probably Alice, or Alex, and I had no idea about the Hell part. I had trouble with lower volumes.

I looked back at them when I was sure Jess had finished for a short period – she had taken a bite of apple.

"-Unimaginative actually. Barest hint of scandal. Not -" the bronze boy was saying. I knew it was rude to eavesdrop, or in my case lip-read, but I didn't consider it too bad an infringement of privacy, as I lost his sentence when I picked up Jessica's again.

"Doctor Cullen and his wife adopted them all."

"They're very nice looking." I stammered. Jessica giggled again.

"Yes! They're all together though. Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper." Definitely Alice. "And they live together." Even in Phoenix it would cause gossip. I continued to learn about the largest scandal that Forks had probably ever seen. Throughout the conversation my eyes kept flicking towards the table, but never lingered for long, as I wanted to learn as much about them as possible. I could stare later. The youngest looking one, the bronze haired one, peered at me with curious eyes.

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?"

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good looking enough for him." Jess sneered. I looked up at him out of the corner of my eye, and he had turned his head. I could have sworn he was smiling.

I didn't hear it again, but the bell rang. This time I noticed the begrudging and unwilling expressions of students returning to class.

"Hello, I'm Angela, and I think I'm in your next class." Angela said. I smiled warmly. Another name solved. This was giving me a headache. Maybe I'd steal a yearbook from someone and go through to memorize, without having to focus on catching up so much. I always seemed to be catching up now days. After the accident I'd had to learn a lot. Lip reading. Signing. I was always behind and well surpassed by my peers in classes. Music. Part of the therapy and tracking system they had for my hearing loss. Some of the students I studied with were pure musical talent. Like Beethoven reincarnate. I was not. And also had to catch up with that. So much catching up. Life was never easy anymore.

Angela and I walked to class together in silence. She was shy too. I loved her already. She went to her usual seat I supposed, and I walked to the teacher to get my slip signed. With my eyes on the class I noticed that the one empty seat happened to be beside the one and only, Edward Cullen.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – Sorry for the long pause between updates. Shouldn't happen again! I'm back in action.**

The boy who I had previously been sarcastic to – Mike I think – caught up to us and smiled goofily at me, and since he seemed nice enough, I tried to respond with an equally friendly smile. I looked quickly around the classroom we had just entered while I handed the teacher the slip. He also had a louder voice and a clean-shaven face which would make it easy to read if he did mutter anything. I was about to depart, towards the one empty seat, beside Edward, when someone else opened the door and let in a rush of air. It blew my hair into my face and I tried to sweep it back hurriedly. Edward suddenly reacted as if I'd shot him. He looked furious, recoiling back into his seat. Even the muscles in his neck strained as he sat bolt upright. His coal black eyes bore angry welts into mine and I quickly looked around. What had I missed? Had someone said something? No one seemed even the slightest bit phased. I walked carefully and solemnly to my new seat, feeling the sting of tears, and the warm of a blush. His reaction seemed to be to my presence. What had I done?

Mr Banner began class loudly and enthusiastically. I kept my eyes focused on his lips. It didn't stop me from seeing Edward lean as far as he possibly could away from me, turning his head towards the window and clamping his hand to his mouth. I couldn't smell bad could I? I inhaled a little harder than normal. I just smelled strawberry shampoo. I tried my best to ignore him, and focus on the cellular anatomy lecture. I took avid notes and tried to copy almost word for word, what I could anyway.

"… And the golgi apparatus is where - " Banner had turned away to draw a quick approximation on the whiteboard, I caught the occasional words as he turned back to check the class was watching. "Package... Cell…. Protein construction." I would have been frustrated, but I was honestly the tiniest bit scared. Edward had barely moved. I was positive he wasn't breathing. I wanted to close my eyes and hide for the rest of the hour. I kept my eyes on Banner instead. I knew when the bell eventually rung thanks to two indicators. Banner's head flicked towards the bell suddenly, as he was in the middle of explaining the function of vacuoles. And Edward Cullen shot out of his seat as if it were electrified. He had made it to the door before most people had even closed their notebooks.

I breathed and tried to relax. It wasn't working. My head was pounding. My ears started to ring as my blood pressure dropped from the high it had worked itself up to over the hour. I gathered up my things slowly, and looked towards Angela and Mike. I was still pretty sure it was Mike. Angela looked at me smiling, while Mike started talking about gym class. I thought about my schedule. It was definitely what I had next. He seemed thrilled that we had class together. He was a chatterer and supplied most of the conversation for me. I stumbled twice on my way to the gym, as I was too busy watching his lips to make sure I didn't miss any of his quick tirade of conversation. I was just starting to relax.

"So did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen him act like that."

Shit. It wasn't normal. Something about me had set him off. Apparently he wasn't normally a scary jerk after all. I decided to play dumb.

"Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?" I asked, hoping my voice didn't waver in my feigned nonchalance. Mike seemed unfazed by his behaviour, just curious. Maybe the Cullens were outcasts because of their behaviour rather than their strangeness. Maybe they stuck to themselves because they were all a little crazy. I could hope anyway. Mike seemed really friendly and admiring, and even volunteered to be my unofficial partner in the rest of the year's gym classes. I was sure he'd change his mind as soon as he saw how badly coordinated, stiff, and scared of flying objects I was. Still, for the moment it was nice to think about. The gym was particularly hard to hear in. The only things I kept picking up were the squeaking gym shoes. I sat, watching and dreading my forced participation in gym for the next two years. Sigh. If we had a pool it wouldn't be as bad. Phoenix's high school had a decently sized pool. I was no professional by any means, but it was a good part of my physical therapy and I found that I had enjoyed it. I wondered idly if there were any pools in Port Angeles when an errant volleyball bounced dangerously close to my head. I jumped so violently I pulled a muscle in my neck and fell off the bench. Thankfully no one had noticed. I dusted off quickly, easing myself back onto the bench and keeping my thoughts on the games in front of me. The world was terrifying sometimes.

The rest of the class passed quickly. I excused myself slightly early to get to the office to hand in my slip to sign. It was raining more heavily now and I sighed. The splattering background noise was not going to help me filter sounds out. I recognized the tall, bronze-haired figure arching over the desk in front of Mrs Cope. I tried to back unobtrusively into the wall, to wait for her to be free. She looked confused and concerned, and also slightly afraid as she spoke to Edward Cullen. Maybe this was his manner then and I'd just happened to be the latest victim in a string of bad mood and bad manners. I couldn't hear his voice at all, but her response I could read.

"I'm sorry Edward, but there isn't any way you can switch from 6th period biology."

This was about sitting next to me? What? Impossible. I hadn't said a single word to him. I tried to push the worry out of my mind, and then the door behind me opened, flushing a gust of wind into the room. Edward turned sharply, stiffening, and glared at me. For an instant, I felt a thrill of fear. He glared at me.

"Never mind then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."

I hurried to put my slip in the open basket, and barely caught the sound of a question from Mrs Cope.

"I'm sorry?" I asked.

"I asked how your first day went, dear." She repeated with a smile.

"It was fine. Thank you."

I hurried back to my truck. I turned the truck on, feeling the epic vibrations, and hearing the low rumble, which – from the concerned look of the students around me – was not a low rumble at all. I drove home carefully. I focused my efforts on further neatening, cleaning and reorganizing of my room to try and distract myself from thinking about the boy who obviously hated me so much.

The next day was better – it wasn't raining, just overcast, and it was easier because I knew what to expect of my day, less people were introducing themselves, and I was able to assimilate and reaffirm a few of the names I had missed previously – and worse; I was still tired, I'd had a nightmare that woke me a few times in the night, Mr Varner called on me in trig, while I was desperately trying to figure out what he'd even asked and I had the wrong answer as a response, I also managed to cringe away from the volleyball enough that I backed into the coach by accident, and finally, Edward Cullen wasn't at school.

I noticed at lunch that his four siblings where there at lunch. I had been steered towards Mike's table with Jessica and Angela, and they were enjoying an animated conversation about a beach, I think. But I also had the perfect view of the Cullen's table. I kept a ginger eye out. Waiting for him to prance in and glare at me. I kept looking at Angela to follow the conversation as best as I could, and then my eyes would flicker back to the other table. As time passed, I realised that he wasn't going to show. He wasn't in biology either, which made it both easier and harder to focus on the biology lesson. I was busy worrying if it was me that had driven him away. Then busy reassuring myself that I didn't need to worry. Then worried that I'd missed parts of the lesson. It was an awful cycle. I'd need to talk to people about notes.

When the school day was finally done, I grabbed Angela's cell number, and Jessica's since she was within earshot when I asked for Angela's. I had spent two days watching her now. She was patient, and kind, and quick to smile, and always willing to repeat herself if I looked spacey when she talked to me. The perfect kind of person to let in on my secret.


	4. Chapter 4

I waited to call Angela until after I had done my grocery shopping. Charlie had no food in the house, and I was now officially in charge of the dinner arrangements. I grabbed a pair of noise cancelling headphones, plugged them into my phone jack, and settled down to call her. She picked up, and I was relieved to hear that her voice rang clearly on the phone too. I started to prepare dinner for Charlie as I talked to her idly about the day, and what her plans were for this weekend. I then asked if I might be able to come over later, as I had something important to ask her.

"Of course! That's not a problem. Would you like to walk Rocky with me? My mom and brothers are home, so it would give us a little privacy." She was an incredibly diplomatic and thoughtful person. I was actually really relieved. I don't think I could have had even this quick phone conversation with Jessica without being bombarded with queries and begging for hints.

"Okay thanks. What time should I be there?"

"Ummmm, probably around seven would be best."

She gave me her address and I quickly scribbled it onto a pad we had in the kitchen by the landline. I thanked her, hung up, and then started my homework. It suddenly dawned on me that since my arrival in Forks I hadn't received any texts from my mom. My phone was working alright, so it had to be on Renee's side. She may have emailed me, so I went upstairs and turned on my ancient computer. There were three emails, all demanding my attention, all from my mother. Her first email explained her phone charger's mysterious disappearance, and the resulting silence. I typed back a quick response about my first day at school, my truck, the weather, and my nice new friends. I also added in some recommendations about where the phone charger might be. I started on my day's homework when suddenly my light flicked on. From the angle my desk was at, and thanks to my open door, I saw the change in light in the hallway as someone opened the front door downstairs. I yelled a good evening, and quickly shut off my computer. Homework could wait. I'd no doubt wake early in the morning after all. I walked downstairs and saw Charlie looking skeptically at the oven and the potatoes within.

"Don't worry Dad. It's just steak and potatoes. You're going to survive." I laughed.

He signed a quick _Sorry._

"Hey – good job on that one!" I didn't realise he knew much more than the ASL alphabet. He smiled proudly.

"Been googling some stuff at work," he explained, blushing slightly. I knew where I got that blush from.

"Slow at the station then eh?" I laughed. He sat down, looking a little lost. I started to serve dinner up, and he began to ask how my first few days at school had been.

 _Good._ "Good," I signed and spoke aloud, half to teach and half to practice. I told him about Jessica, Mike and Angela. He knew all of them, no surprises there. I half wanted to ask him about the Cullens, and then changed tact. I told him instead that I was going over to Angela's after dinner to talk with her about my hearing, and walk Rocky.

"I think that's a good choice. Angela's family is nothing but nice. Her mom brought me over a pie once, for helping track down their dog. He was only a couple streets over," he explained, as if his meager part in the fetching of Rocky hadn't earned him a whole pie. I laughed a little.

"We won't stay out late," I said, and we finished dinner in silence. It wasn't a bad silence, just a comfortable contentment. I went and grabbed my jacket, and rain boots – a necessity even when I wasn't sure if it was going to rain – and headed out to the car. I quickly typed her address into my phone and looked at the map. It was a 10 minute drive, but there was only one turn. Her house would be on the left. I drove carefully, keeping an eye out, and when I was finally on her street, I slowed down further to look at house numbers. It was getting darker, but I could still see them. Suddenly a light flicked on above a porch, and a dog, and a tall, slender girl exited the house. I pulled over and got out of my truck.

"Perfect timing," I called to her. She laughed, shaking her head.

"Not really, I could hear your truck coming down the street."

"It's that bad huh?" I sighed my shoulders falling slightly. I kept my eyes on her face as I introduced myself to Rocky. She laughed again. "It's got character." I added in defense.

And we set off, walking along in silence first. It had begun to drizzle slightly and the I was sort of relieved that she wasn't going to pry, or ask any leading questions. I started with asking her a question.

"Have you noticed that I'm kind of spacey sometimes?" I asked gingerly.

"You do seem to miss things when people talk to you sometimes, but I had just assumed you were super overwhelmed by everything that's been thrown at you the last few days," she smiled back. She was so nice. Seriously. I tripped over a curb slightly during her response, as I was trying to pay extra attention to her lips. Rocky walked slowly between us, casually sniffing and barely looking interested in the walk at all.

"Um… well… I'm not trying to be spacey. I actually can't hear people a lot of the time. I was – I mean – I lost a lot of my hearing during my teens, and I'm down to around fifteen percent, on a good day."

"Fifteen percent of what people say?" She asked, her eyes betraying shock, but her face remaining a neutral calm.

"Fifteen percent of everything. All noise. In fact, the more noise there is in a room, the less I catch. If there's a lot of sound going on, like in the cafeteria at lunch time, I have a super hard time picking up what people say." I scratched Rocky on the head, and watched Angela. She seemed thoughtful.

"Is it hard to hear me?" Angela asked, suddenly looking concerned.

"In general… not really no," I assured her quickly with a smile "you have a clear voice, that seems to be in my range of hearing, and you tend to face me when you speak to me, which helps direct the sound, and even if I miss something I can normally read it from your lips."

She stayed silent for a bit as we walked; mulling things over. I kept quiet, wanting to give her a chance to organize her thoughts. I looked around at the dense greenery, as I side stepped an ominous looking puddle. We had looped around a street block, and as far as I could tell, were heading back to Angela's.

"Do you miss a lot in classes then? When teachers turn away from you I mean," She clarified. She was intuitive and clearly thought things through thoroughly.

"Yeah actually. And when people talk really quickly in conversations, I have a hard time catching the start and end of the sentences, because I'm busy trying to figure out who is speaking sometimes."

We walked quietly again for a time. It was getting darker and I had to pay more attention to the ground, so I started to slow down.

"Do you…" she started, and then rephrased "Is it called signing?"

I started responding in both sign and speech, at least as best I could. "I don't sign as well as I speak, but I'm conversational." Angela smiled in awe.

"That's really cool. Am I right in assuming that this is a secret you don't really want people to know?"

I blushed and nodded. "If you wouldn't mind."

"I don't want to offend or anything, and please let me know if I do, but do you need notes in class or things like that?" She asked with a worried look on her face. I laughed and relaxed.

"That's exactly what I was hoping to ask you. If you'd lend me notes for the classes we're in so I can catch up a little, it would be amazing." We had stopped in front of her house. She smiled again and hugged me. Our coat zippers caught on each other, temporarily pinning us together and making us laugh as we disentangled ourselves.

"Thank you for trusting me with this, and I'll do whatever I can to help."


	5. Chapter 5

That night I was woken by a storm pelting my window. My bed placement may have been ideal for spotting people in the house, but it was less than ideal when it came to the loud and window vibrating rain that terrorized the top of my bed. I grabbed my pillow and brought it to the foot of the bed, pulling the covers over me so that I could get some rest. It worked, but barely. When I woke in the morning I was exhausted, but I felt a little better about heading to school, like somehow I had a spy working for me on the inside. It made me a little more relaxed about going. Plus I had figured out my routine, and the people I'd be walking to different classes with, and where I would be sitting at lunch. The little things that make life infinitely more comfortable. I drove to school early, and sat in the cafeteria, doing my homework. Eventually movement in front of me caught my eye. It was Angela. She looked around the nearly deserted cafeteria and leaned towards me conspiratorially.

"Would it be okay if you taught me some sign language? Like just a little bit to get your attention and things like that," she asked quietly, but clearly, with my warm and shy smile her immediate response.

We spent the next few minutes sharing my favourite phone applications that would help her learn the alphabet, and the barest basics of conversation. She practiced a little, with her hand facing towards herself so she could copy what she saw. Angela also handed me most of the notes she had taken this year, in every subject – even the ones we didn't share – and I would spend tonight copying them out. She nudged me when the bell rang, and we hurried off to class together.

The rest of the week followed without incident. I caught up on most of my class notes every night when Angela would sacrifice her book to me, and we began taking Rocky for regular walks, which mainly consisted of us walking to a dry bench that was under a shop awning, and practicing signing together. In gym class nobody passed me the ball anymore, which was amazing. My little group of friends also started planning a beach trip that was to happen a few weeks from now. Earlier in the week I had pestered Charlie about finding a place to go swimming. He admitted that the only place nearby was La Push, and that the water would be too cold this time of year to do anything but surf in wetsuits. I started to wonder what we could possibly do on a beach trip if we couldn't swim, and then remembered the tide pools, and the driftwood sculptures that I used to love as a kid. I suppose it wouldn't be awful, but I did need to do something to work my leg. Since the accident that had stolen my hearing, it had been fraught with stiff spasms if I didn't work it frequently. With no pools around I was looking at jogging and yoga, two of my least favourite things for the same reason. Jogging and yoga involved falling potential, and my lack of balance and luck had landed me in enough trouble.

I tried to do yoga at home, and then realised that the only spaces large enough for a completely rolled out mat was the living room, if I moved the couch, or the kitchen, if I moved the table. I went for slow and careful jogs twice that week, picking the only mornings it wasn't actively raining to do so. When I got home I was wet from both sweat and the weather, and was very grumpy. Not the most ideal way to start the school days. I'd have to iron out something better.

By the Friday of that week, I was far more comfortable at the school and dreading the beach trip with an almost loving demeanour. Beaches should be hot and dry. Every lunchtime this week, without fail, I had glanced towards the Cullen's table, to be sure that Edward would not be angrily staring at me in biology. Every lunchtime he failed to show up, despite the presence and calm state of his siblings. It started to fill me with a false sense of hope that he might never come back to the school. His frightening black eyes were a flash that popped into my head every biology class, before I dismissed the shiver, and settled down to listen to Mr Banner. I tried not to think about him, but I also couldn't shake the worry that I was somehow responsible for his disappearance.

My first weekend passed without incident. My mother had found – or bought – a phone charger, and I had spent a good two hours on the phone talking to her about my first week in Forks. I moved the kitchen table on the Saturday morning to do an hour of yoga, and then decided to run as well. I ran all the way to Angela's house. It was a route I was getting familiar with, although I had not judged the distance well and by the time I got there I was nearly dead of exhaustion. Angela was nice enough to feed me while we watched her baby brothers play fight, and then even drove me home once her mom returned from the grocery shopping. On the Sunday I did housework, groceries, and homework until my brain and body were equally as exhausted. Charlie was too used to his regular routine to stay home with me, and worked most of the weekend. I didn't mind. I actually enjoyed the quality alone time. The rain also stayed soft over the weekend, and it gave me a chance to catch up on some well needed rest.

Monday morning at school I said hello, or waved to faces I recognized, even if I hadn't gotten the names yet. I made a mental note to ask Angela if she had a yearbook that I could borrow. It was colder this morning, but not raining. In English, with Mike at my side as usual, we were surprised with a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights. It was fairly straightforward, and easy, especially since I had read the book until the spine was splitting. Despite the surprise quiz, I was happy. I was settling, and had a few good friends, and I felt more comfortable here than I thought I would. There were no stares in this school. Well there were, but appreciative ones instead of pitying ones. That seemed to make a world of difference. There were no whispers behind my back. I wasn't accidentally lip-reading hushed conversations about myself. I was reading only regular school worries, and dramas, and homework, and it was incredibly peaceful.

My mood dimmed slightly as we exited the building. It was snowing. Lumpy blobs of white were falling from the sky. At first I was sad about the lack of visibility this would cause me until I realised that it was silent. The snow was falling so gently, and interrupting enough noise out, that I could actually hear Mike talk clearly about the snowball fight he was planning. The usual distracting pitter-patter of the rain had been muted, and it was like someone had flicked a switch. Things still sounded strange and dull, as if my ears were underwater, or as if I'd put the wrong earphone in while listening to music, and the singers were singing in the other one. But there was a little more to hear now. I smiled, and watched the jubilant faces of those around me. Normally I think I'd hate the snow, it did after all mean it was too cold for rain. But just that little glimpse of silence was oddly peaceful.

"- enjoying the snow." Mike said. I quickly glanced at him.

"Huh?" I said totally ungracefully.

"I said, you look like you're enjoying the snow." He laughed.

"Oh no," I informed him. "I'm enjoying people's reactions to the snow. The snow itself is a mood kill. It's wet and cold, and it looks like the ends of Q-tips. I thought it was supposed to be little flakes, like in the movies."

"You've never seen –" he was interrupted by a snowball hitting him smack in the back of the head. My eyes widened in fear, and I looked around as I saw Eric slowly saunter off in the wrong direction for his class. Mike had obviously picked up on that too, and began heading towards him, scooping up snow from the ground. I darted as quickly as possible out of the snow, worried I'd be whacked in the head with the flying menace I had been admiring only a few minutes ago. This was like gym class, but worse.

Throughout the morning, every conversation I managed to catch was about snow. I walked extra alertly between each class, now armed with a binder that I could use as a shield if necessary. Jessica found it hilarious. She was speaking so quickly, and I was trying so hard to watch her, watch where I was going, and watch for snowballs, that I missed most of what she said. Every word I did manage to catch seemed like I didn't need to respond.

"… with the snow the boys are – fight later but we – after lunch – and with Mike not – you should totally –" she had a large smile on her face as I ducked away from another snowball, missing whatever it was that I should totally do. We finally made it inside, and Mike captured her attention. I sighed in relief of both the distracted Jessica and the lack of flying snow inside. I glanced towards the Cullen's table, out of habit, and my stomach dropped.


	6. Chapter 6

There were five people at the table. I walked straight into a table because of my lack of attention, and it caught me right on the section of my thigh that tended to ache the most. I was almost positive I dropped an enthusiastic curse in both sign and speech. I didn't make enough noise to attract any attention I was glad to see. Only Angela saw what I had done and literally signed an 'O' and a 'K' with a questioning expression from her seat at the usual table. I nodded and walked directly over there, making a double effort t not to limp, and not to look over to the Cullen table. I sat beside Angela, resting my head on the table.

"Not hungry?" She asked and I saw the small movement of her hand against her stomach. She was picking it up so quickly.

"No I'm fine. I just knocked the hunger out of me." I joked. The rest of our friends came to join us with their bought lunches. Angela tried to roll me an apple, but I shook my head. My stomach was doing cartwheels. My ears were hot, my blush seemed to be permanently stuck on my face. Angela nudged me and as I looked at her she looked firmly at Jessica.

"- you eating anything?" Jessica finished.

"Um… I'm not hungry. Actually I feel a little sick." Over the lunch hour – which seemed like the longest one of my life – Mike asked twice how I was feeling. I noticed Jessica's scowl and wished that he'd be a little less obviously concerned about me, so that I wouldn't have to dodge any mean comments from her later. I was seriously considering skipping the afternoon, seeing if I could go home with a nurse's note or something. This was ridiculous. I would go to biology and face the ire that awaited me. If there even was any. God I was self-absorbed sometimes. I spared myself one glance at the Cullen table. If he was glaring at me, I would skip the afternoon.

None of them were looking this way. In fact, they were all laughing, covered in snow. The girls backing away from the guys as they shook off their snow towards them.

"Bella," I heard a watery sounding whisper of my name. I snapped my head quickly towards the table to catch the rest. "What are you staring at?" Jessica was finishing. I kept my eyes on Jessica, determined not to look back at the table. Jessica leaned in to whisper in my ear and I closed my eyes to focus.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." She said.

"He doesn't look angry does he?" I asked. My voice was quiet enough that I couldn't pick it out very well, and I wondered at first if she had heard me. She was backing away from my ear looking shocked.

"No. Why would he?" she asked.

"I think I jabbed him with a pencil in biology." I offered trying to dissuade her stern look. I heard a bout of laughter and looked quickly towards the source – Mike. I fixed my gaze back on Jessica's mouth for her response.

"Well the Cullen's don't like anybody. Or at least they never pay attention enough to like anybody. But he's still staring at you." She said.

"Stop looking at him." I hissed. I looked towards Angela with a pleading expression, but she was talking to Tyler. I looked back towards Jessica, and she laughed, relaxing a little and talking to Mike. He was planning an epic snowball fight after school. I would have to hide in the gym to avoid that. As the lunch hour ended and the people began filing out of the cafeteria there was suddenly a negative shift in mood. It had begun raining, which I was secretly pleased and sad about. I was pleased because there would be no snowball fight, and I was sad because my peaceful moment was over. It was as though the weather was mimicking my mood.

I jogged to biology with my hood up, avoiding both the conversations and the rain. Once inside the classroom I noticed that my desk was thankfully still empty for the moment. I took off my jacket and headed to my desk, watching the glimpses of conversations around me.

"- think Banner would make us do all of it closed book –"

"- with the rain now we'll have to get back to planning the beach trip-"

"-isn't anything better to do except for a bonfire-"

"-that dance coming up though-"

Oh excellent. Another school dance. Something else to dread besides the beach trip. I wondered when that was, and tried to look in closer on that conversation, when suddenly they stopped and turned towards the front. Mr Banner was handing out microscopes and slides to each desk. I looked at him, trying to understand what we were up to – had I missed the explanation? When suddenly a bright and clear "Hello" sounded from my left. I jumped slightly, dropping the pencil that had been poised in my hand and looked over. Edward Cullen had taken his seat beside me. I hadn't felt the chair or desk move at all. His eyes flicked to my throat, and then with a flash of determination, he slipped out of his chair, and quickly grabbed my pencil. He placed

"Um, thank you, sorry about that." I muttered. Very confused. He looked calm, and almost pleasant. The sort of forced happy you put on after someone has told you a joke you've already heard. He was sitting as far away from me as the desk allowed, and yet he was angled towards me. It was an almost too obvious sign of interest, and he had a slight smile on his lips.

"Not a problem. My name is Edward Cullen. I'm afraid I didn't have the chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan." My mind was spinning with confusion. Had I made up the anger? Surely not. He was waiting for me to speak. It was hard to focus looking at his eyes so I dropped my gaze to his mouth.

"How do you know my name?" I asked. His lips parted barely around a perfect set of teeth as he laughed.

"I think everyone here knows your name. The whole town has been waiting for you to arrive." His voice was very musical from what I could hear, but there was also something more than that. His words were so clearly formed, so easy to read. It was refreshing. There was no blurring together of words, and I knew exactly what he had put forth. Even if I hadn't been hearing him as well as I seemed to be, I wouldn't have missed anything.

"I figured it was something like that. But I meant how did you know to call me Bella?"

"Excuse me?" He asked back in surprise, a small front marring his forehead. I tried to refocus on his lips to make it easier to think.

"I think Charlie – I mean my dad – calls my Isabella behind my back. That's what everyone here seemed to know me as."

"Oh." He replied simply. He looked away, his face contorted into a frown, and my blush fought its way up from my chest. I focused back on Mr. Banner, and I tried to concentrate as he explained the lab. He turned around mid-explanation to explain something with a diagram, and I realised he was writing out – in very simplistic terms – the different phases of cell mitosis. They were out of order on the board, and I was assuming, on our slides as well.

" – so that you can place them in order and tell me which slide is which. Got it? Good," Banner finished, "Get started!"

I read the label on the box. Onion root cells. I technically hadn't done this lab with this material, but I had done it before.

"- first, partner?" Edward asked. I looked at him quickly, hoping I hadn't missed anything else. He was smiling. Had he said he'd wanted to go first, or that I should? Nothing in his body language gave away his preference, so I sat there, frozen in confusion for a second. "Or I could go, if you'd like," he finished.

"Oh, uh, no I'll go first. Sorry, I spaced for a second." I said. Wow. What wonderful diction I had today. My blush felt like it was becoming permanently etched on my face. It didn't help that I could feel his eyes on me. I knew what I was looking for, and within seconds of placing the slide under the microscope had identified it as prophase. I began to remove the slide, and I heard a musical murmuring. When I turned my head again I caught the word "look". His hand had reached out to touch mine and his ice cold skin shocked mine suddenly, before he pulled his hand back quickly. I froze, assuming he wanted to check my work. That seemed the most likely option. I slid the slide back into place and turned the scope towards him, keeping my eyes locked on his mouth in case he said anything, and keeping my hands firmly on the table. His skin was fascinating and I kind of hoped he'd accidentally catch my hand again. His voice – when I wasn't picking up the words properly – sounded like music; a gentle humming, rather than a murmur. I enjoyed it, and I wondered how musical his voice was to someone who could hear it to its fullest capacity.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. He examined the slide for an even shorter time than I had, agreed with me, and then wrote the phase on the worksheet. We went back and forth like this, each doubting the other's abilities, and each having to smile when we realised the other was right. We were finished far earlier than the others. I took a brief look around the room, watching the confused faces.

" – think Banner will answer –"

" – but it's got the weird squiggles like the second phase –"

" – prophase. Or maybe interphase."

I smiled and refocused my gaze, hopefully discreetly to my lab partner. He was watching me as well. I took a fleeting look at his eyes, and then regretted it. His eyes were a beautiful golden colour. It was disconcerting, especially since I remembered them being as black as night when we first met. He was looking frustrated and a flicker of that flashed through me. Was I imagining his eye colour shift?

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted out. He looked puzzled as he shook his head and answered 'no'. "Oh. I could have sworn they were a different colour." He shrugged and looked away. But it didn't look like a natural shrug. It seemed tense. Maybe Forks was making me crazy. I jumped again as a loud booming voice asked why we weren't working. I looked up at Mr. Banner and smiled sheepishly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! I hope you are enjoying what's been going on so far! I'm not asking for reviews, although I really do appreciate the ones I've received. You guys are amazing, and it's wonderful to see you so enthralled in a tale that's been in my head for a while. I did want to ask a question though:**

 **\- Would you prefer I upload chapters after I've hit my average word mark (between 1,400-1,800) like I have been doing, or would you prefer I break them into segments that are more meaningfully split up (like a critical event or a cliffhanger etc.).**

 **If I get responses or not, I'll still be posting at a similar speed (I have between Sunday-Tuesday to write) and hope you'll all be patient with me. I love that you're all loving this Bella, and I promise there will be more insight into her deafness soon. I'm hoping to even take this across the rest of SM's twilight books (I have a wonderful image of Aro conversing with a deaf and slightly annoyed Bella that I can't shake!) Enjoy! Peace out!**

Mr. Banner looked at the worksheet to check the answers. He looked slightly irked, seeing only Edward's writing there, and none of my messy scrawl. He began chastising Edward on how he appeared to have monopolised the lab, when both Edward and I butted in at the same time.

"But I did do some – " I cut myself off to catch what Edward began saying.

"Bella actually identified three of the five." He looked stern, almost chastising. I tried not to laugh as I looked back towards Mr. Banner's mouth. Not that he really needed it. His loud voice was obvious to my ears, and I wondered again how the rest of the class perceived it. He looked at me with curiosity.

"Have you done this lab before?"

"Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?" He asked knowingly. I nodded. "I guess you were in an advanced placement class back in Phoenix eh? I suppose it's a good thing you two are lab partners." He turned away but I thought I saw his lips moving. Mine pursed. I'd missed whatever the end of that conversation was too. I quickly glanced back to Edward's face, his lips, and then down to my notebook. I focused very hard on hearing anything that might come from beside me. I didn't want to seem rude if he began talking to me again.

"Too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Edward asked. I snapped my eyes to his lips quickly and laughed incredulously. Weather? Really? Okay then.

"No. Not really." I responded automatically, then looked at the rain pouring outside and remembered my earlier moment of peace. "And sort of, too. I guess." I blushed and grimaced. Yep. Forks was making me crazy.

"You don't like the snow? Or you do? I'm a little confused," he smiled, jestingly. I had the feeling that he was forcing himself to make small talk.

"No. I don't like snow. But I like some of the side effects." I clarified.

"You don't like the cold." He observed.

"That's true enough. But I don't like the rain noise much either. Snow is quiet, and it makes everyone else so much more animated and happy than rain does. I've never seen anyone as pumped for rain as the entire school seemed to be about the snow." That made more sense. Glad that I'd explained myself a little, I went back to doodling in my notebook.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live." He mused. I chuckled darkly.

"It's not so bad. It's got some perks." Like secrecy. There was a strange anonymity that I was experiencing here, despite everyone knowing my name, nobody knew my story. "The scenery is beautiful, and it's relatively peaceful here too."

I focused my gaze in on his lips, as it made thinking about my answers easier than when I looked at his eyes.

"If you don't like the cold or wet, why did you move to the rainiest place in the continental US?" he asked. This question he seemed to be frustrated by again, as if he hated having to wait for a response. As if he should have been able to guess simply by being near me. No one had asked me that yet.

"It's complicated," I avoided, and then decided that half-truths were fine. "My mother got remarried."

"That doesn't sound so complex," he disagreed, looking sympathetic. "When did that happen?"

"Almost three years ago actually. Phil is fine, he's a little young, he's a baseball player and he travels a lot. Mom stayed with me, but it made her sad to be away from him." I skipped a two year period between the marriage and moving, but no one needed to know that. He looked very concerned with keeping this conversation going.

"It took a while for you to come here," he seemed more confused by my explanation.

"My mom would have been fine, staying home and… well looking after me I guess. But I was getting in the way. I knew that. So I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." As soon as I'd gotten sick of the doctors, and the pity, and the worry.

"But now you're unhappy."

"And?" I challenged. He looked taken aback for a split second. I hadn't meant to be so severe in my response. I was about to apologize when he smiled.

"That doesn't seem fair," he shrugged.

I smiled and looked down at my notebook. Not a lot in my life was fair. But I tried to make things easier on others if I could. He was still staring at me.

"You put on a good show. But I'd be willing to bet you're suffering more than you let anyone see. Why else would it take you three years to move? You didn't want to leave. You didn't want to live here."

"Why does it matter to you?" I looked determinedly around the room to see how the others were faring. He murmured something in response that I missed and I sighed. I'd have to watch him all the time if I hoped to continue this conversation. I was at war with myself over wanting to rebel against the obvious flip=flop of emotions from before, and my wanting to study his face, his voice, his lips. He was ridiculously attractive. I stretched out my hand, doing some simple handshape exercises meant to quicken fingerspelling. My eyes flashed briefly to his and I saw him studying my hand. I stopped stretching it and rested it in my other one, warming my hand up. I looked again at his lips, perfect timing.

"Am I annoying you?" he asked, too jovially for my liking.

"Not exactly, I'm more annoyed at myself. I'm too easy to read sometimes and I find it irritating. My mom always calls me her 'open book'."

"On the contrary. You're very difficult to read. I find you very confusing. A little enigma." He looked at me briefly, before turning his attention forward. I followed his gaze, until I caught Mr. Banner talking again. He was facing the board, drawing out the different phases in simple diagrams, numbering their order, and labelling them correctly. I neatly copied down the pictures, sure I'd get the relevant dialogue from Angela later. In the corner of my eye I could see Edward leaning away from me again. I could again tell when the bell rang, because Edward shot out of his seat. I should really check if it was wired to the bell. Did it shock him every time it rang, or did he act like this all the time?

Mike came over and helped me collect my stuff. I tried to keep my eyes on him as I collected my things, ended up dropping my pencil again, and then whacking my shoulder off of the chair as I went to retrieve it. Mike looked far too concerned for Jessica's liking at my almost injury. I had to reassure him that it was a glancing blow, even though I was positive I'd bruise. I kept my attention on his lips as he complained about the lab's difficulty. In gym, I managed to talk my way out of serving in volleyball by playing up my shoulder injury. At least Mike was helpful there, affirming to Coach Clapp that I had indeed 'smoked' my shoulder on the chair in bio. If I was accident prone enough maybe I could get out of all gym classes. I tried to just stand where I was told, not flinch too much, and not get in my team's way.

I drove home that night. Antsy. I was thinking about how unfair life had been. I was sort of angry. What had I done to deserve this? All the injuries, the deafness, the non-normal life? The constant game of catch-up that I was exhaustingly playing. I'd never get to the finish line because the finish line kept moving. I was running beside the Red Queen. Running. Seemed like an excellent idea. Although it was pouring when I got home, I changed into running gear and went for a hard and long run. I pushed my leg too far and too fast. By the time I stopped running I was limping, breathing hard and doused in sweat. It was pouring out, and I couldn't hear anything except a watery static and my own heartbeat in my ears. I limped back to the main road back to our house and suddenly a car pulled up beside me. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I hadn't seen it coming. I jumped and nearly fell into a tree. It was the police cruiser. Charlie sat inside, the interior car lights on.

"Need a ride?" he asked, beckoning with the sign 'come'. I got into his car, and he drove slowly, even more than usual home. Maybe he sensed my ill mood. We sat in silence, and then briefly discussed dinner. He was fine with the basic chicken and vegetables I had planned. When we pulled into our driveway I got out of the car and limped inside. I started the food, and then asked Charlie to keep an eye on it while I got into dry clothes. I showered, and pulled on some warm pyjamas quickly, heading back downstairs to relieve him. He looked about as nervous around a stove as I did in someone else's car.

We ate in relative silence. Charlie thanked me for dinner using sign again. I swear he was trying to show off. It lightened my mood a little as I helped him clean up, then took my homework upstairs. I texted my mother a goodnight, did some trigonometry, and the quick bit of English homework I had acquired, and fell asleep surrounded by my books on my bed. I had a chilling dream that night.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hello everyone! The audience has spoken. Average word mark it is, and keep doing what I'm doing. The one thing you do all seem to want is ulterior points of view though, and I think I can manage that. Ahaha! I'm not sure when they'll pop up, as I'm really wanting the rest of this story from Bella's side out of my head first. But keep an eye out for sure! I hope I don't disappoint. 3**

 _I was in a car. Lights were flashing past me. Not streetlights, headlights. On a busy highway. I could hardly see out of my window. I turned my head to look at the driver, and I was surprised. Instead of the usual girl from my school, Edward was driving. He looked at me, and I looked at the speedometer. We were going fast. Far, far too fast. As I looked back at Edward I noticed he was still looking at me, with that confused and frustrated expression from class earlier. Suddenly the car jerked sideways, and my hair lifted in front of my face as if pulled up by strings. It fell to the right slightly, then left, then down to my chin again, as the lights outside danced in circles. My eyes focused back onto the golden ones. His eyes never left mine as we spun helplessly, and suddenly there was a bone shattering snap in my leg._

I woke with a yelp, rubbing the sharp cramp that pulsed through my thigh. It was light outside, but eerily so, it was sharper somehow. I peeked through the curtains at the foot (or head technically) of my bed, and sighed. There was a fine blanket of white all over everything. It wasn't very thick, and I could still see the tops of some blades of grass. It looked cold. I laid back down onto my mattress, the right way up this time, and waited for my alarm to buzz on my watch. Taking a few deep breaths I stared at my ceiling. My eyes were unfocused. I was thinking hard about Edward Cullen. I wasn't trying to, but he was in my mind. I was comparing my mental images from the first day I'd met him, with the dark eyes and the angry, almost murderous expression, to the golden eyes, the curiosity, and the almost forced conversation of yesterday. I signed 'crazy' to myself – not quite sure which one of us I meant, and my wrist buzzed. It was time to get up.

Charlie wasn't home, as he'd gone to work before I woke up. In some ways, I loved living with him because I got a chance to revel in the aloneness. As I finally made my way outside I noticed what I hadn't registered before. There was snow, yes, but it was coated with a sparkling layer of ice. It clung to the pine needles of the conifers, shimmering and sparkling, and the deciduous branches hung droopily with the weight of the accumulated ice. It was beautiful, but this also meant my entire day was a gigantic tripping hazard. I made my way carefully down the porch steps, and inched down the driveway. I still managed to slip, the sideways momentum crashing me into my truck mirror. Good thing it was a tank, or I'd probably have bent the mirror right off in my hasty catch of myself.

I drove to school amazed by how well my tank was handling the roads. I was in a surprisingly good mood, despite the weather, and my already blemished tripping total for today. I had a feeling it was because I might finally learn a little more about the mysterious, and haunting Edward Cullen, and that was very very stupid. I was suspicious of him, frightened of him, tongue tied by his eyes, and yet I wanted to see him. When I got out of my truck at school, I noticed why I'd had so little problems with the roads. There was a shiny silver crisscross on my tires that hadn't been there yesterday. I inched forwards, gripping the side of my truck and looked closer. I was guessing these were snow chains. Charlie had gotten up who knows how early to put these on so I would be safer. I started to tear up slightly. I'd have to text him later. I looked around quickly, making sure no one had seen my emotional moment, and caught sight of the Cullens, across the parking lot. Alice and Edward were facing towards me.

"-family discussion that we should not be having here Rosalie." Edward was saying. He was looking straight at Rosalie. I quickly looked at Alice instead. She was a few feet further away than Edward.

"Edward's right, now if …" she suddenly stopped talking.

The other Cullen siblings turned to look at her quickly while she just stared into space, and then almost instantaneously her face and Edward's lit up in horror. Their heads snapped up towards me in what could only be described as a choreographed synchronicity. I quickly blushed, and turned back towards my car. They'd noticed me watching their odd conversation. It only took a second for Edward Cullen to appear in front of me. His hands had grabbed me and were pulling me sideways and down into the pavement. One second I was looking at my red truck, and the next I was pinned under Edward Cullen. It was almost as if he'd football tackled me. I hadn't even gotten half a breath out before my head slammed against the cold ice beneath me. Suddenly my ears were ringing with a painful tinnitus, and the sky, which had been grey was suddenly blocked out by a dark grey sheet of metal. It took me another second to realise that the sheet of metal was the side of a passenger van which was tipping towards us. I would be crushed to death in the embrace of a boy I wasn't even sure I liked.

Two long white hands shot out protectively in front of me, as the van swung around to hit me. I was expecting his hands to buckle under the impact, but instead the van buckled under his hands. He was kneeling over me, almost straddling me as he pushed the van's body away. He shifted into a semi-standing position as his one arm lifted the van, while his other wrapped around my thighs, swinging me sideways and gently into the tan coloured car I'd parked beside.

Suddenly the van shuddered and fell down to where my legs had just been, and Edward had fallen towards me protectively again, essentially planking on me as a shower of glass rained down on our heads. I could hear the high pitched ringing of my ears, along with what sounded like yelling, but I couldn't be totally sure. We were trapped in a little triangle of cars. I focused on Edward's neck, the only clear part of him I could see. His entire body was pressing me securely to the ground. It almost felt like the ground was more moveable. I felt cool breath against my ear and tried to turn my head to look at him. I knew he was speaking but I wasn't sure I could hear him over the ringing my head bump had caused.

"Pardon?" I asked, politely enough I thought. He leaned his head upwards, away from me, and repeated himself. I could just see his lips.

"Are you alright?" He looked as though he was furious at the van.

"I'm fine," I managed muddily. "I honestly didn't even figure out what was happening at first." I started to squirm to indicate that I wanted to get up, and he held me down firmly. I stared at his mouth while he managed a quick.

"Be careful. I think you hit your head pretty hard."

No shit Sherlock. I wanted to respond. Instead I managed an 'I think so too' and stayed focused on his lips. They were smooth looking, and I so badly wanted to touch them. To avoid that temptation, I focused on anything else around me. My whole back side of my body was freezing. I tried to struggle to get up again and he wouldn't let me up.

"But it's cold." I complained. He recoiled from my breath again and I blushed in worry. I had thought I brushed my teeth this morning. Maybe not. He pushed himself gracefully off me, never letting his eyes leave my face, despite the commotion that I could see in my peripheral vision. Heads were popping over cars obviously yelling things. I couldn't hear any of it. I could only hear the ringing, and my own heartbeat as blood pumped. I sat up, as he did.

"I…" I began, and faltered. "How did you get over here so quickly?" His eyebrows furrowed and he laughed. Not a nice laugh. A short, dismissive laugh.

"I was standing right next to you Bella."

"No you were arguing with Rosalie, across the parking lot." I snipped back. His eyes narrowed further and his face turned into an eerie mask of calm and concern. "You were over there, by your car."

He slid as far from me as he could in the limited space. "Bella you must have hit your head harder than you think. I'd stay still until the empties get here." I blinked for a couple of seconds, 'empties'… until the emties get here. Click. EMTs. Whatever Forks had for paramedics was undoubtedly already on the way. I rolled my eyes and tilted my head in my own disbelieving gesture.

"You were by your car." I reaffirmed. I hoped my voice sounded as confident as I felt about that statement. I was right. He was going to admit it.

"Bella I was standing with you and I pulled you out of the way," he said. My eyes flicked to his after the sentence and he had a truly mind-smothering glare attached to the statement. My eyes returned determinedly to his lips. With huge and heartbreaking effort. If I had been normal – hearing – I probably would have been staring at those eyes, and probably faltered under the intensity. His mouth turned down in a grimace.

"Please Bella." He was begging me. Begging me to believe him? Begging me to be quiet? I looked around and noticed more mute, scared, crying faces around us. The van behind Edward was being jostled slowly out of the way by a small army of strong people. I stared at the handprints in its side. Edward's head turned to see what I was looking at. He suddenly leant back into the van. I saw the metal buckle slightly, and the van move ever so gently. He pretended to be leaning against the van, but I'd bet the remnants of my hearing there were now no handprints in the metal. He waved a hand at me and I looked surprised back at his face. I supposed I must have missed something. I'd bet half of my vision I looked as spacey and confused as a concussed kitten too. This wasn't going to help my 'didn't hit my head that hard' case.

"Please drop it," he said in what I didn't doubt was a quiet and dangerous tone.

"Will you promise to explain it later?"

"Fine."

I didn't believe him for a second. The van moved further out of the way and I saw people in bright green safety vests – the EMTs - tumbling towards us. I kept my eyes firmly on Edward. What would he say had happened?


	9. Chapter 9 - Esme

**AN: As per request... another point of view. But - probably not someone you were expecting. Oops :P**

Esme

I was in the middle of a few projects; most of them pertained to the houses I was restoring, and a few to our home. I idly sketched at each component as I walked through the living room. I had affixed my blueprints to the windows, and was pacing between them. The thin paper allowed plenty of light through, and I could layer each sketch as I wanted to, to morph my project houses however I chose. My hands were covered in thin smudges of blue pencil, and my fingers played idly with an eraser. My hair had a ruler, a compass and two pencils all pinned into it. I was speculating more than I was drawing, but I was still making progress in leaps and bounds. I glanced at the time, trying to figure out when most of my family would return, and remembered that tonight was probably the night I should take one of them to our weekly 'grocery store run'. I should also probably begin work on Jasper's birthday present. I was painting him a large landscape based on a beautiful scene he had described in vivid detail – or at least I was going to. I sighed, putting the last pencil into my hair and twining my fingers together.

"I should probably focus on one thing at a time. I'd get them all done much faster," I mused aloud to myself. I began to stare again at my projects. Which one should take precedence in the next two hours? Two hours until the children were home from school, and another two until Carlisle returned from the hospital.

Those two hours flew by. Soon enough I heard the distinctive sound of the Volvo driving much too quickly down the highway. It screeched to a sudden stop, and I heard the quiet sounds of four leaving the car. Two doors slammed, and then four sets of footfalls raced their way to the house, while the car sped towards town again.

"My dears," I greeted them. I looked around in surprise at everyone except for Edward. "Where's-"

"Esme… he's leaving again," Alice's voice was heavy, and heartbroken. My hand flew to my mouth and a sudden chill of dismay ran through me.

"What?" I was only able to articulate the one word. Edward had left once before. They were very dark, and very long years. Carlisle and I had never given up hope that he would return. We had stayed in the same house for far longer than we should have, so that we would be there when Edward chose to return. The day of his homecoming was one of the most haunting memories I had. He was in tattered, sullied clothing and his eyes were the awful shade of rust that occurred with the blending of gold and red. I could have easily overlooked all of this if it wasn't for his face and the permanent alteration in temperament. He was so dark, moody, haunted, guilty, and in a pain I couldn't comprehend. Our overwhelming gratitude at his safe return and our honestly happy and loving thoughts both helped and healed him, while solidifying his resolve to remain with us. We had never felt disappointed, only worried, and the sincerity of those thoughts and feelings had only made Edward feel worse about himself. It was a long healing period after, for all of us. I had found it extremely hard not to hug him every time I saw him. In those days he had chosen to leave because of a teenage rebellious instinct combined with an analytical reasoning that he could save more lives than he took. What could have possibly respawned that attitude to break away from his family? Had Rosalie and he fought? Was he finally sick of the restrictions we applied to ourselves? Surely Jasper would have felt something if that was the case. Alice would have seen it.

"There was a new human girl at school today. Police Chief's daughter I think," Alice said, wringing her hands together nervously. "I saw her die today. A hundred different ways. Edward was battling with the decision to kill her. I'm not sure why. He's normally so controlled." She turned to Jasper for reassurance.

"He wasn't in any unusual discomfort at lunch. A little thirsty sure, but we all were. Then in the car," he paused, searching for the right word. "Anger. Hatred maybe. Towards her and himself I think."

"I didn't see it until it was too late. I wasn't looking in the right places," Alice tucked her head into Jasper's shoulder, and then she rushed to me for a tight embrace.

Rosalie was agitated. "He was right to leave. I'd rather we not have to explain away another death and leave town. We have another five years here at least."

I resisted the urge to snap at her. She had always been a tenacious and centered individual. Normally I had the patience for it. Today was not one of those days. A wave of calm seeped through me, and I looked at Jasper gratefully. He'd be working very hard at repairing the anxiety and distress that poured from all of us until Edward returned. I tried not to let pity seep through me, but a small smile from him made me realise I hadn't managed very well.

Carlisle was as uncomfortable as I was. He had returned from the hospital an hour early, in the Volvo, explaining that he had let Edward take his car north to Alaska. I gripped his hand forcefully while I stared around the living room. The others re-explained the little they knew about the scenario, and I stared idly again at my blueprints. How trivial they seemed now.

Alice continued looking into the future, making sure – as best she could – that he arrived safely, and more importantly, that the new arrival to town remained alive in the weeks to come. We would have to extract Edward from school with a note. That would be my job on Monday morning I suppose.

"Their futures are very clouded. Edward has resolved himself to not returning home for a while, but that could very easily change. The new girl, Isabella I think, I see her at school tomorrow, but not much more than that. I didn't meet her, so it's hard to get a read," Alice was mumbling. She was facing Jasper but talking to all of us. He held her hand as reassuringly as I held Carlisle's. Even Rosalie and Emmett were leaning against each other. We all loved him. We all wanted him home and safe.

…

I was playing a game of scrabble with Emmett and Rosalie. Carlisle was reading a medical journal beside me and chuckling as we guessed about how to spell the occasional medication or protein, or diagnosis, or whatever it was that he asked of us. Our home lives this week had been filled with endless amounts of distractions. I had painted the walls in the living room and re-done the back-splash in the kitchen. I was beginning the planning of a delicate wall mural in the entryway. Rosalie had taken apart her M3, and was removing any specks of potential rust, lubricating and cleaning everything. Emmett most often served as her jack, but he also enjoyed helping me if he could. Jasper had begun learning Japanese, and Alice had hand woven a beautiful wool coat for me.

"Yay!" I heard the squeal from the floor above us "No you can't take it off yet – I have to fix the hem."

Alice flitted downstairs, tiny sparkles of silver yarn on her shirt, and Jasper came down moments later, rolling his eyes as Emmett laughed. Jasper was wearing the partially finished ladies coat. Alice needed a moveable mannequin and her partner was a willing and gracious enough one.

"Edward has made the decision to come home!" she clapped, sending a few stray slivers of silver flying. I grabbed Carlisle's knee and looked up at him, hoping he saw the same exuberance in my face as I saw in his.

"This is wonderful news Alice," Carlisle beamed.

"He'll be home Saturday morning at 1:37," her face fell slightly. "And it seems as though he'll be in school Monday too. I'm not as sure about that possibility, but the two visions came hand-in-hand, so to speak."

She said nothing more, and her brow furrowed slightly. She beckoned Jasper to follow her upstairs.

"It's a hot look for you Jazz," Emmett called.

"Damare baka," he responded curtly.

"Language!" I scolded. Jasper ducked his head sheepishly. Carlisle looked at me with surprise.

"I didn't know you could speak Japanese. When did you take up that study?" He asked.

"I didn't. But it doesn't take a genius to figure out the intention." I smiled back.

…

Saturday morning at 1:37 was exactly right. Carlisle's car door shut in the garage and I was instantly out of my chair, hugging Carlisle. I knew Edward wouldn't be comfortable with me hugging him, so squeezing the non-existent life out of Carlisle would have to do. Alice showed no restraint. She leapt at him, squeezing him with her arms and legs, and scolding him about all the things she had seen. At least, we assumed that was what she was doing. It was a one-way conversation.

"I know Alice…. Yes and I'm sorry about that too… well it wasn't my intention… yes probably… no I don't think I could have… of course you're right." He paused looking at her pointedly and she let go, returning to Jasper's side.

Edward looked at me next. _I'm glad you're safe. And home. And if there is anything I can do please let me know._ I said, restraining myself, and limiting the barrage of affection that my brain wanted to throw at him.

He nodded to Rose and Emmett, and then walked over to us, half-hugged us both, giving a quick squeeze and moving away, upstairs to his room. He paused for a moment.

"Thank you all…. And yes Jasper, that's probably a good plan." He disappeared upstairs for a moment and returned in tougher, hiking gear. Jasper followed his example, and the two boys disappeared to hunt.

They returned mere moments before they were supposed to leave for school. Edward had no doubt timed it so that I couldn't give him a reassuring pep talk. His smirk as he grabbed his school bag in slipped into the Volvo made me grin and shake my head. Children.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I got positive reviews about the Esme chapter, but I won't pop another one of those for at least a few Bella POVs. I'm not sure if I can tackle an Edward POV yet. There are certain parts that I can see, but it's hard to put them all together. Anyway... enjoy.**

 _"Please drop it," he said in what I didn't doubt was a quiet and dangerous tone._

 _"Will you promise to explain it later?"_

 _"Fine."_

 _I didn't believe him for a second. The van moved further out of the way and I saw people in bright green safety vests – the EMTs - tumbling towards us. I kept my eyes firmly on Edward. What would he say had happened?_

Edward vehemently refused any assistance from the EMTs, saying he'd not been injured, but that when he'd pulled me down I'd hit my head. Traitor. I scowled at him – or at least _tried_ to – the EMTs were in the way. No doubt checking my vitals and asking me all sorts of questions. I tried to rein in my thoughts and focus on them, on who was asking what. I was totally unsuccessful. I suddenly stopped them all and began blurting out every answer to every question I thought they could have possibly asked.

"My name is Isabella Marie Swan, my birthday is September thirteenth, I'm in the high school parking lot and was almost hit by a van, I do not have a concussion, and all this fuss is extremely disorienting!" More than one person was trying to talk to me again and I sighed in defeat. Maybe it would be easier to pretend I had a concussion. I closed my eyes and rested my head back against my truck. I jumped at the first touch on my skin, only moments later. My ears were still ringing, but I could hear more muffled voices. Like little blurbs of voice you hear when you fast forward or rewind a song. I opened my eyes again, looking at the EMT in front of me. I could have sworn I recognized his face from somewhere. Probably one of my childhood trips to the ER. I focused on his lips, answering his, and only his questions. Answering one person was better than no one I supposed.

Suddenly I could see blue and red flashes of light. Had the ambulance decided to turn on its lights again? Was the driver of the van that badly injured? Suddenly my father pushed his way forwards. I grinned at him, and stood up, however I slipped slightly on the ice and the EMTs quickly wrapped me into a stretcher. They tried to put a neck brace on me and I cussed a little more fluidly than Charlie had probably ever heard me swear. I thought he looked like he was going to pass out with worry. Charlie began to sign _What_ and I quickly shook my head.

"I'm completely fine Cha - Dad." I was nearly interrupted by an EMT trying to re-affix my neck brace. I grabbed hold of it and glared fiercely at him. "You try that one more time and I'll bite your hand."

I looked at Edward, who was calmly climbing in beside the stretcher they were rolling me on. He was laughing. I turned my head away, scowling at the sky, and then the ceiling in the ambulance. My heart rate started to go up as we drove. I was trying not to panic, after all – I was in a damn ambulance. If there was an accident I'd literally be surrounded by people ready to save me. I still slid around ever so slightly on some turns as we made our way to the hospital and I gripped the metal of the stretcher hard enough that the lone ring on my index finger was catching some air. I began to force my breath to slow down. It was only a couple of minutes to the hospital. I'd be fine. The EMTs took my silence and lack of struggle as consent to continue taking measurements and probing my head for injuries. I focused intently on a line in the roof, keeping my breathing calm as a pressure cuff and thermometer were shoved at me. G. I was signing in my head, going through the alphabet, simple phrases, anything to keep my mind off of me not in control of the moving vehicle I was strapped into. The moment we stopped at the hospital I released my grip on the bars. My fingers screamed at me from the effort.

I was rolled into a ward and left there while dozens of people came and went. Edward had strolled away meaningfully and I itched to sign every bad word I knew at him behind his back. Tyler – a boy from my school was rolled in shortly after I was, and he had to have been the driver of the van. He was covered in cuts and blood. His head was oozing still under some gauze. I wanted to puke. I managed to control that urge too as I reassured him that I was fine, reassured Charlie that I was fine, reassured nurses that I was fine. When I finally had a small speck of alone time I told Charlie that my ears were ringing a little and it was making it hard to hear. He nodded, understanding.

"It's why you're more confused isn't it?" he asked. He had probably worried I had a concussion.

"Yeah. Can't hear squat. Well I can now actually, and it's getting better. Probably just adrenaline to be honest." I paused, thinking. "Could you do me a favour and hunt down whatever doctor is supposed to be looking after me and ask them to be… well _discreet_?" I hoped that the emphasis would make my point, as I nodded my head towards the still conscious Tyler. Charlie nodded, understanding, looked at Tyler, grimaced and went hunting for my attending physician.

I lay back in my bed listening. Every time my eyes wandered to Tyler he was apologizing. He hadn't seen Edward either.

"Seriously I am fine Tyler. Don't worry about it. I'm okay." I had redundantly repeated the reassurances, but nothing seemed to quiet him. I turned over, away from him, glaring towards the empty hospital bed beside me. A hospital bed that Edward Cullen should be in. Actually, even that was incorrect. He shouldn't even be in here, off parading wherever he was. I should be being scraped from the side of a van. I imagined an EMT with an ice scraper, peeling away the Bella pancake and smiled morosely. I focused then on the ringing in my ears. It had greatly subsided, and now a dull throb was pulsing around my temples. I wondered if I'd lost any more hearing this time. Was my head even damaged enough? Was I being a hypochondriac? They wheeled me away to x-ray me, and I rolled my eyes as everyone reassured me that I was fine. Two seconds ago I'd been telling them that. They needed the official stamp of my attending – but so far absent – physician, so I was wheeled back into the room with Tyler. He had drugs now and was much less coherent, laid back, and very sleepy looking. Finally some silence. I stared at the pastel walls replaying the inhumanly strong and fast actions of my saviour in my mind. Since I lost my hearing, my eyes and brain seemed to absorb what little input I did receive with such determination that it was almost photographic. I had a play-by-play of his heroics. And they were impossible.

A musical murmuring caught my attention. I wasn't sure what it said but I knew damn well who it was. I glared at Edward. He began to raise a hand, and for a split second I thought he was going to begin signing to me. I was confused until I saw his lips move.

"No blood no foul," he smiled towards Tyler, and then sat himself on the bottom of Tyler's bed. "And what's the verdict?"

"I'm fine. Not even a concussion. There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go." My hands twitched with the longing to emphasize my words with signs. I clasped them together, and finally sat back on my propped up pillows. "How come you aren't strapped in here like the rest of us?" That elicited a laugh from him.

"It's all about who you know. But don't worry, I came to spring you."

I continued glowering at him, until Dr. Cullen walked into my line of sight. It had to be him. Young, blond, movie star like appearance, the grace of a ballet dancer and the physique of a boxer. Pale, and tired looking, exactly like Edward.

"So Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" he smiled at me. I couldn't help but be crass, it was the two millionth time I'd heard that question.

"I'm still fine." I kept my eyes fluttering between Edward's lips and Dr. Cullen's, the musical notes were too similar. I would definitely miss phrases if I wasn't paying attention. The one thing I did notice was that Edward seemed to be frowning slightly, and looking confusedly at his father. Was he expecting a different diagnosis?

"- head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard." I caught the doctor saying. In annoyance my teeth clicked together. I could punch him.

"It's fine." I managed. The doctor's cool fingers probed lightly against my skull, and my view of Edward was blocked. I looked determinedly up at Dr. Cullen's lips.

"Tender?" he asked when I winced. I began glaring at him now. If he'd read my file he surely had enough information about me to understand just how many 'tender' spots I had acquired over the years. I arched my eyebrow at him. He backed away with a smile, still facing me. I kept my eyes away from Edward.

"Well come back if you're feeling dizzy, or if you notice any disruptions in your eyesight…." He paused, and smiled "Or hearing. Your father is in the waiting room outside, you can both head home now."

"Can't I head back to school?" I was going to miss the entire day's worth of classes. Angela could cover me I know, but honestly – I was missing more than enough as it was.

"You should probably go home and rest. I could make it an order if you would prefer."

I suddenly looked at Edward. "Does he get to go back to school?"

Edward smirked at me. "Someone has to spread the word that we're alive."

I scowled again. I would get wrinkles young if I kept this up. I swung myself off of the hospital bed, and oh so not gracefully tumbled into Dr. Cullen. He steadied me, checking my eyes again for dilution no doubt.

"Honestly, I'm fine. I'm going. I'll sleep. Thank you," I worked my way towards Edward. He stiffened slightly as I approached him. "I would however like a quick word alone with you."

Edward nodded once, turned abruptly away from me and started walking towards the empty hall. As I checked back towards Carlisle he was making himself busy with Tyler in a rather overly cheery way. He totally knew too.

Edward stopped in the hallway, and turned to face me. "Your father is waiting for you."

"He can last a few more minutes."

"What do you want?" he asked, the venom in his statement almost crumbling my resolve.

"You stopped a van today. With your hands."

"You hit your head. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Your own father just disproved that theory, there's nothing wrong with my head. I saw the dents. I saw you lift the van as it came for my legs. You got over to me from across the parking lot in a matter of seconds."

"Nobody will believe that you know."

"I don't care, and I'm not going to tell anyone." I said each word with an almost patronising quality, making sure that I enunciated it so that I sounded as fierce as possible. Surprise flitted across his face. "But you still owe me an explanation."

"I saved your life. I don't owe you anything." His eyes were cold, flashing dangerously. I flinched back. Good point. I had secrets didn't I? Was I the only one allowed them? It was hard to admit, but I'd hate it if someone pushed me for information. Fine.

"Fair enough," I conceded with a nod. "But if I'm going to keep this a secret there better be a damn good reason. I want to know why I'm lying to people."

"Well then I hope you enjoy disappointment," he stared me down. I turned my head away.

"Why did you even bother?" I sighed, moving away without waiting for his reply. I found Charlie, and half the school in the waiting room. I reassured everyone and made Charlie take me home. I wondered about my truck. It was probably still sitting in the car lot at school. Looks like I'd be walking in tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11 - Fathers

**Surprise! Hope you enjoy this random take on the Dads of my stories :D**

 **Also - I've received some requests about my other stories. In my honest opinion - I don't like most of them. I enjoy Electronegativity, because it makes me laugh, but the others I don't like at all. They were written 7 years ago, and I was still growing. So don't read them - except Electro - and if you do, be gentle, my past self was not as awesome as present self.**

 **Fathers**

It had been a chilly morning. We weren't busy yet but we were all aware that we soon would be. I was staring idly at the missing persons board, and then a yawn hit me. I got up from my desk and grabbed my second cup of coffee. Joe laughed at me as I fumbled with the coffee maker.

"Tired are we Charlie?"

"Lay off. I had to get up at the crack of stupid this morning. Had to put snow tires on Isabella's truck." I yawned again, and grabbed some sugar to load into my mug. "We're gonna get overloaded with accident calls this morning too. Gonna be an interesting day."

"You're telling me. I skidded into work this morning on pure momentum alone."

"Yeah but you're so heavy that ain't surprising." I laughed back. I ducked as a crumbled up napkin flew at my face. We sat together, sipping coffee, and discussing the upcoming baseball game, until two phones began to ring, within seconds of each other. First accident of the day.

"Student or adult?" I asked aloud. Joe and Nicky placed bets, both for students. Kids were crappier drivers in bad weather. Everyone except Bella ironically enough, I knew she was extra careful, anyway, and then after the accident... well the girl wouldn't even drive the speed limit. I suppose that's why she was fine with my driving. I tried to set a good example and stay within 5 of the limit even before her accident. So I guess I was one of the few people she felt safe letting take the wheel. It made me feel good, as a dad. I got up to put my jacket on as Nicky and Joe got the phones. It was my day to do the first round of leg work. Suddenly Nicky gasped, and looked straight at me. I'd seen that look before. My stomach hit the floor before my mug did. I heard the crash but was barely aware as Nicky repeated the words to me.

"There's been an accident at the school, and Bella's been hit."

I made it to my car without slipping, and turned the siren on before I even had my seatbelt on. Today I would not be driving the limit. Not even close.

I didn't take concentrate on the drive, how fast, or how dangerous it was. Not again. How could this happen again. Would I find her crawling out of a wreckage like before? I hadn't been there, but the pictures of the scene and my own mental imagination were enough to give me haunting nightmares. Was she bleeding? Broken? Was more of her brain muddled? I managed to get there in under 10 minutes. That might even be a new record for me. EMTs were already here, shifting the Crowley's van away from Bella's truck. Was she between them? I caught sight of her, looking whole - and if anything - annoyed. Thank fuck for that. I started to breathe normally again.

Surveying the scene it was clear there were plenty of witnesses. I caught snippets of conversations as I watched Bella.

"Seriously, Tyler's pretty smashed up -"

"Bella said she's fine -"

"Cullen kid pulled her out of the way -"

One of the Cullen kids pulled Bells out of the way? I'd have to make it up to them, for saving my baby girl. I caught her eye as she was placed on a stretcher - she honestly did look perfectly okay, just cold. I started to sign 'what happened', but she cut me off.

"I'm completely fine Cha – Dad," she was explaining, an EMT began to try and put a neck brace on her and Bella turned around, grabbing the brace, and with a voice dripping with ice said: "You try that one more time and I'll bite your hand."

I breathed a sigh of relief. She really was okay, at least mostly. They rolled her into the stretcher and I caught sight of the youngest Cullen boy climbing into the ambulance as well. I'd have to thank him. I called Joe on my two-way, and he was already on the way, figuring that I'd want to follow Isabella. He was damn right. I gave the ambulance a police escort. Not that there was a terrible amount of traffic or anything, but still, I needed no interruptions. When I pulled into the hospital I grabbed my cell phone and texted Renee.

 _Hey, it's me. Bella was in an accident. She is fine. Being checked out at hospital right now._ I didn't have time to say much else but that should have covered it. I followed her into the ER ward. There was no doctor that I recognised in sight, and I wondered whether I'd be allowed to request Carlisle Cullen be her attending doctor. I saw the Cullen kid begin to walk away, with clear purpose, and assumed that he'd be off to find his father. Good.

Every time I looked nervously at Bella she rolled her eyes at me and assured me she was still fine. Tyler Crowley on the other hand, looked like I had feared Bella would. He was bleeding everywhere. I'd be more mad at the kid if he wasn't so seriously hurt himself. His driving was reckless, but he'd definitely learned his lesson, and thankfully looked like no one else had needed to. When the biggest flurry of medical activity had died down I approached Bella again. She was missing people asking her questions, but I wasn't sure if that was normal, or extra worse. I had only been talking with her for a couple weeks, and normally one on one. I know she didn't like me talking about her hearing and stuff, but had anything happened with that? Plus the doctors here would find out when they cracked her file. I was trying to figure out how to tactfully ask when she saved me the trouble.

"My ears are ringing a little. It's making it hard to follow what people are saying."

"It's why you're more confused isn't it?" I was worried her brain might have been damaged. Like a concussion or something.

"Yeah. Can't hear squat. Well I can now actually, and it's getting better. Probably just adrenaline to be honest." She paused, looking far too off-hand. Her head was probably killing her and she was probably scared. Being brave like her dad I guess. Or for me. "Could you do me a favour and hunt down whatever doctor is supposed to be looking after me and ask them to be… well _discreet_?" she nodded at Tyler. Yeah she definitely wanted to keep things on the down low still. I had asked if it would be harder at school, and she reassured me that between her and Angela Weber she had it all covered. I sulked at the thought of having to leave her, but I had a job to do. Hunt down Doc Cullen.

…

It had been a regular and routine morning. I had checked on a few of my long-term patients, and then made my way to the small ER for my morning shift. The cacophony of smells and sounds that had, a hundred years ago, been such an assault on my senses had become something I thoroughly enjoyed. Latex gloves, rubber tubing, antibacterial soaps and sprays, metals of many kinds, and the stiff starchy smell of paper gowns flowed into my awareness as I walked through the familiar halls. The more somber smells of blood, saliva and even the musty odour that was death also clung to these halls. It served as a humbling reminder of the fragility of life.

When I reached the ER ward, I had already had a patient waiting for me. It was a child I had not yet had the pleasure, or misfortune, as she was injured after all, to acquaint ourselves. I spent the next hour examining and setting the bone of a young Clarissa Medley. One look at her x-ray showed that she had suffered an intra-articular, non-displaced distal radial fracture.

"You broke your wrist Clarissa," I smiled. "You had to have hit that tether-ball really hard."

"I did. I hit it so hard it went over Becca's head two times _and_ came around to me again," she looked smug and proud, not even minding the fact that her wrist was obviously in discomfort.

"Wow. That is a very impressive hit indeed. I hope you're officially nominated the ultimate winner of Tether-ball. I don't think anyone else could say that they won both the game, and managed to score a visit to the hospital." I chuckled at her. She looked at me in awe at her new status. Her mother was also looking at me, but not in the way that Clarissa was. Clarissa thought I was 'cool' and an oddity at best. But her mother was unfortunately victim to the other feelings our kind evokes in humans. Her eyes were dilated and her heart fluttered if I smiled and talked to her. I had become accustomed to pretending these things were not occurring at all, as it was an unfair advantage my species had: the evolution of ultimate attractiveness.

In the next room there was suddenly a flurry of activity. Phones, and EMT deployment. I would probably be quite busy soon and I would ultimately prefer Clarissa be absent at the time they brought any severely injured people in. I would have to pass her off to Doctor Snow. He would be more comfortable setting a cast than dealing with whatever emergency was incoming. I began walking Clarissa and her mother towards one of the less demanding wards, where Snow would be happy to assist. I followed his scent to the correct ward, and handed my eager patient off, explaining to him that I would soon be needed in the ER as we had an ambulance inbound. He nodded at me gratefully and I began to head back to my office to type up my half of the report on Clarissa. It would take only a few moments, and I could dedicate my focus on the incoming patients. I was typing at my super-human speed when a gentle knock sounded at my door, and a familiar voice asked for entry. A small sense of deja-vu hit me. The last time Edward had been here, it was to leave. This time was different. Edward was grimacing as I thought about the last instance he had knocked on this door.

"Apologies," I begged with a smile. This was clearly a different scene – he seemed more at ease, although he had a slightly stooped frame, as if about to reveal something that might insight wrath.

"You could say that," he smiled grimly. "I've… well I didn't mean to, and I certainly didn't think about it, and I'm not sure what kind of trouble we'll be in…"

I quickly looked at his eyes, surely he hadn't – and I stopped my thought in its tracks. Senseless and irrational that thought was. Edward hadn't flinched though, as if he had expected my mind to go in that direction.

"Honestly, that might have been better. It's no worry. Of course that would be the most natural conclusion as to my presence." He sat down slowly in the chair, and stayed there.

"Apologies again. Instinct took over. You are much stronger than that, and of this I am acutely aware." _But you aren't making sense yet. In simple terms?_

"In simplest terms, and using a phrase Emmett is particularly fond of… I fucked up."

I got out of my chair and came around the desk, sitting beside him like a peer instead of an authority. _I think I'm going to need a little more than that_. I suspended my thoughts and reactions, as I was very used to doing. I thought of it as 'Doctor Mode'. Learn everything about the scenario, then start thinking.

"In order… our family discussion this morning about Bella Swan carried over into the ride to school, of course, and Rosalie and I were arguing. Then Alice and I saw a horrific scene: a van, hitting a patch of ice, careening into a red pick-up truck, and Bella being crushed to death in the process. I would love to pretend that in this vision I saw the monster unleashed, and my relentless dive to her body to hoard what blood was left, but I cannot. The vision cut off abruptly. As soon as I saw it, I suppose I had unconsciously made up my mind to stop it."

 _So far this sounds positive._

"I thought you were in Doctor Mode." He chuckled grimly.

 _Of course, sorry, continue._

"Well I did stop it. I got to her and pulled her out of the way. Except that I started over fifty feet from her, and in stopping the impact I had to push the van away from us."

 _You used supernatural speed and strength?_

"Yes. At first I thought it might be alright, no one had noticed me, except for her. And she saw everything Carlisle. I had almost wished that she had fallen unconscious when her head hit the pavement as I brought her out of harm's way." He stopped, placing his head in his hands. "That's it. The rest was textbook normal."

"I see." I paused to collect my thoughts, and suddenly Edward looked towards the door.

"Chief Swan's here."

Knock knock.

"Come in." I called lightly. Charlie Swan entered, and smiled at Edward.

"Chief Swan, I'm happy to see you, Edward here was just filling me in on this morning's events," I began collecting random and unnecessary equipment, to look as though I was leaving.

"I wanted to speak with you privately for a minute, if I could…and Edward. I – I mean – I don't know how to thank you." He scratched at his hair, trying to look less worried than he undoubtedly felt.

"No problem Chief. We both scrambled out of there pretty quick. We were really lucky the van hit the other car." Edward supplied. "I'll go see how Bella and Tyler are doing."

Charlie patted Edward on the back in a gesture of thanks, and turned to me as he closed the door.

"It's about Bella. I was hoping you'd check on her."

"Of course, I'm heading that way now."

"And another thing," he scrunched up his face and thought for a moment. It was then that I realised he had coffee splattered up his trouser leg. He'd no doubt been startled by the news this morning. "She's a pretty private person. She's got stuff in her medical history that she'd prefer even I didn't know. So, just keep it simple, and relevant to today, eh Doc? Please don't tell anyone about what you find in her file, okay? She'd prefer it that way." His sincerity was staggering.

"Charlie, I swear to you that I will not breathe a word about anything I learn. Even to her." That was a promise I could keep. I couldn't guarantee others wouldn't learn if they were paying enough attention, but I'd had nearly 80 years of practice in ignoring the obvious in my thoughts. I would do what I could, for both Edward and Charlie. Family ties as strong as these were rare blessings, and I cherished them.


	12. Chapter 12

"Well then I hope you enjoy disappointment," he stared me down. I turned my head away.

"Why did you even bother?" I sighed, moving away without waiting for his reply. I found Charlie, and half the school in the waiting room. I reassured everyone and made Charlie take me home. I wondered about my truck. It was probably still sitting in the car lot at school. Looks like I'd be walking in tomorrow.

When I got in the cruiser with Charlie I honestly considered leaving again and walking home. It had been a seriously stressful day already, and I wasn't sure I could handle another car ride. But at the same time I was mad. Mad enough I wanted to get home to sleep. Think and sleep. Super-human speed and strength were not on my general list of acceptable things, and yet apparently I had just accepted them. Without them I wouldn't be alive, but it was making my head spin, thinking about it all. I stared moodily out of the window on the way home, watching the snow and ice slowly melt, as I tried to control my nerves about being in a car. Charlie waved a hand in my peripheral vision to grab my attention. I looked over and he looked sheepishly back.

"You're going to have to call Renee," he blushed.

"You told mom?" I asked. I could feel my voice had risen with a mix of annoyance and hysteria. He signed 'texting' and I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "You texted her? Jeez Dad, she probably thinks I'm dead. I bet she's freaking."

When we got home I went straight upstairs, and sat on my bed. I video-called my mom so that she could see I was fine, and that so I could ask her to sign anything I missed vocally. Most of it I didn't need confirmation on, as she was repeating variations of the same questions: What happened? How was I? Was I sure? It took me nearly 30 minutes to calm her down fully, and then I had a worse headache than before. As the adrenaline crash from the events of the day hit me, my ears throbbed, and my head felt like I'd gone a few rounds as Rocky's chew toy. I doubted I'd be able to eat anything, so I yelled down at Charlie that I was taking an early night. I didn't hear any response, so I assumed that meant he quietly acknowledged it, or that he had loudly acknowledged it, and I couldn't hear him. I sighed again. I was not in the mood for this. I went to the bathroom, took a few advil, and headed back to my bedroom. I had just enough energy left that I pulled off my t-shirt and jeans, and flopped into my bed to sleep.

That was the second night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

 _I was in a car. Lights were flashing past me. Not streetlights, headlights. On a busy highway. I could hardly see out of my window. I turned my head to look at the driver, and I was surprised. Instead of the usual girl from my school, Edward was driving, and his skin was shimmering with light. He looked at me, and I looked at the speedometer. We were going fast. Far, far too fast. As I looked back at Edward I noticed he was still looking at me, with that confused and frustrated expression from class earlier. Suddenly the car jerked sideways, and my hair lifted in front of my face as if pulled up by strings. It fell to the right slightly, then left, then down to my chin again, as the lights outside danced in circles. My eyes focused back onto the golden ones. He began to move, unnaturally fast, towards me, protectively. His eyes never left mine as we spun helplessly – me cradled in his arms - and suddenly there was a bone shattering snap in my leg._

Waking up that morning was cold – I really ought to have bothered with pyjamas – and I was shaking. I'd had that dream a thousand times, and it had never changed. Now it seemed to be evolving with every interaction I had with Edward Cullen. Oh yeah – I needed psych help.

In the morning I was surprised to see Charlie home when I woke up.

"Why are you home?" I asked and signed.

"You need a drive in?" He asked back, signing 'driving'. He really had been practicing. I smiled and grabbed some cereal.

"Actually I was going to walk in. I need the exercise, the de-stresser, and plus, I need to work on my walking skills."

We both laughed together and he ruffled my hair as he left for work. I slipped some workout clothes on, grabbed my sneakers and normal clothes, and stuffed them into my bag. I felt like running. I ran to school, the 3 miles that it was, and made it about 15 minutes before most people had arrived. I dashed into the gym change rooms to shower with the one shower we had, and got changed for the rest of my day. I could guarantee that I wouldn't have to participate in gym since Coach Clapp would assume my head was still sore from yesterday. He was kind of nice, for a gym coach. As I made my way to my first class I collected two hugs, three 'how are you's, and fifteen worried glances. I also saw a shiny silver Volvo pull into the parking lot, and determinedly didn't look at it. Instead I focused ardently on Mike's conversation as he described the events of yesterday from his point of view, and talked about Tyler. It wasn't until I got to Angela, who hugged me fiercely, that I truly forgot about the Cullens. She handed me all of the notes I missed from yesterday, and assured me that if I needed anything from her, she was here. She also asked if we wanted to skip our hang out that night, and I declined. I'd like to spend the time not doing something, and not watching Charlie worry about me. The whole day was embarrassing. I must've re-told the same story a thousand times.

"No I wasn't really hurt. I just whacked my head off the ground when Edward Cullen tackled me out of the way. My truck stopped the van just before it got to us. I'm the luckiest unlucky person I know." I could tell my hearing was a little worse today, as some of the easiest to hear people started to mouth words. I wondered if they were speaking in lower tones because they were worried about startling me, or if my hearing had gotten that bad. I tried not to dwell on it, and just confusedly follow as much conversation as I could. The only positive thing that came out of that day was the re-affirmation that nobody had noticed Edward Cullen beside me. I was totally not crazy.

After school, and dinner, I went to Angela's. We walked a little, and I taught her some more basic signs as we discussed classes. And a dance that was upcoming. It was a girl's choice dance, and she had someone she wanted to ask, but was scared to. In the same way that she never pushed me for details, I never pushed her either. I asked gentle confirmation questions, to understand as much as possible, and gave the best advice I could. She asked how my head was and I shrugged.

"It's fine. Totally normal."

 _L-I-A-R_. She signed back. I chuckled at her and showed her how to sign it. It was a two-parter, and we practiced a little until she had it perfectly.

"Its tender to touch, and I zoinked out a lot today," I admitted.

"Zoinked?" she laughed. I shrugged again, laughing with her.

…

The following day, Tyler was back at school. And it felt like my first day here all over again. He wouldn't leave me alone, kept promising to make amends, and almost elbowed Mike out of the way at one point to talk to me. I tried to reassure him that he didn't need to feel bad, it wasn't his fault, and I wasn't hurt, but nothing I said dissuaded him.

Aside from my rise back to fame in Forks, the whole month was very normal, school wise anyway. Edward Cullen was anything but. The first day back in biology class he'd nodded in my direction when I addressed him, and other than that had said nothing. There was no partner work needed in that month, but if there had been, I could have almost guaranteed it would not have pushed his word count over 10. Mike, Eric, and Jessica were as friendly and talkative as ever that month, almost as if they were trying their extra hardest to negate Edward's silence, and now I had Tyler, and a girl who obviously liked him – Lauren – to worry about listening to as well. Angela was a huge help in that department. I tried to focus my energy on understanding as much of my friends' speech as possible, especially since it kept my mind off of Edward, but more often than not, the amount of concentration left me irritable and tired by the end of the day.

Once I was particularly irritable by biology, and I began to notice things about Edward that I had been so determined to ignore before. He was leaning as far away from me as he could, his fists curled tight into balls, and looking straight forward. But he'd only adopted that pose when I sat down. I opened my mouth to sass him, and shut it again. I felt a click in my teeth and Edward's gaze flickered for a second. It was my turn to stare forward and be irate. He was so full of this rage towards me, that I could only place as regret. He regretted the fact that he'd shown me some supernaturally freaky shit, and regretted the fact that he'd saved my life even more. He'd hated me from day one, so how awful it must be to have me be the carrier of his secret. Ugh. I hated the fact that I felt I understood him, and I mentally sighed at the fact that I was devoting so much effort into deciphering Edward Cullen. I still was grateful. I was alive after all. And it was because of him. I'd have to repay that somehow someday.

The weeks passed.


	13. Chapter 13

Jessica texted me one night, when I was at home, copying notes from Angela's impossibly neat writing.

 _Would it be okay with you if I asked Mike to the Spring Dance next Saturday? It's girl's choice._

It took me a second to remember what she was talking about. Of course I had heard about the dance. I just hadn't realised it was so close. Eww. I did not do dancing particularly well. All that coordination required was terrifying. I'd make a fool of myself in no time. I also didn't particularly enjoy dresses. I couldn't wear anything that might show above my knee, as it was a horribly scarred part of me. And heels. Heels were generally expected at dances. Also not my forte.

 _Yeah, go for it! I know you'd make a cute couple._

That was a normal enough response, I decided. Not 'yes please take him out of my hair' but also not 'I don't really care'. My phone buzzed again.

 _Are you sure you don't mind? You weren't planning to ask him?_

 _No of course not- I'm honestly happy for you two, and besides, I'm not going._

Dancing was glaringly outside my range of abilities.

 _It'll be fun though. You should come!_

 _Nah – you have fun with Mike._

I had thought the issue was settled with that, but the next morning as I gave Angela back her notes, I noticed that Jess, normally animatedly talking with Mike or me, was quiet, and focused on her notebook. She barely spoke all class, which was extremely unusual for her, as I normally missed most of what she said. The only words I got from her involved an inquiry to borrow an eraser. I looked at Mike, and he looked just as uncomfortable as she did. What had happened last night? Had he turned her down? My fears were confirmed at the lunch table when Jess sat as far away from Mike as possible, talking animatedly with Eric. I signed an 'uh oh' discreetly to Angela and she nodded somberly. She'd picked up on it too. Mike was determinedly talking to Tyler for most of lunch, and Angela was able to finish her lunch without having to point out what I was missing too often, as neither conversation branched out to include anyone else.

Mike walked me to biology and I sat beside an already frozen and distant Edward. I started to wonder if I could hang my coat off of his tense and solid shoulder. Would he even notice? I apparently was looking speculatively at him enough that I missed something from Mike. I heard the distant and familiar sound of my name, and snapped my head toward him.

"Sorry, pardon?"

"I – uh – I said Jessica asked me to the dance," he paused obviously searching for words and I interjected as skillfully as I could.

"That's great! You'll have a lot of fun together. She really likes you." I had dropped my voice a little, conspiratorially for the final sentence. Mike looked taken aback, and even more uncomfortable. I kept my smile fixed, as if I didn't suspect what was coming at all.

"Well, I didn't say yes yet. I told her I had to think about it."

"What? Why would you do that?" I hoped I sounded scornful, and not relieved. He hadn't said no, and that was totally reparable. His face went red, as he looked down at the desk.

"I… well I was wondering if – well – if you might be planning to ask me."

I kept my face scornful – I think – and carefully arranged my answer. It only took a few seconds, but Edward Cullen tilted his head toward us, also waiting for my response.

"Mike, I think you should tell Jessica 'yes'."

"Did you already ask someone?" he asked, looking almost accusingly towards Edward. I held back a laugh.

"No I didn't ask anyone. I'm going to Seattle that weekend," I then worried that my answer could leave the potential that I hadn't rejected him, and tried to rectify that. "I'm not very fond of dances, anyway so I wouldn't be going." I paused again. "So you should give your answer to Jessica, keeping her waiting is a little rude."

Mike nodded, looking upset and I wrinkled my nose. Crap. Why couldn't everything be easy? I drummed my nails against the desk in irritation. A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I froze mid-drum. Edward Cullen was staring at me. His face was searching, intense, unreadably confused. He didn't say anything, but stared at me with a frown on his face. We stared at each other for a few seconds and I realised my thoughts were blurring. I focused instead on his lips, pressed into a frown, and turned down, as if something had displeased him. He jerked his head forward towards Mr. Banner, mumbling something in response to a question no doubt, and I had to take a sudden breath. He was dizzyingly intense when he wanted to be. I tried to focus on Banner, but my mind was caught up in those amber eyes. I couldn't believe the amount of emotion rolling through me. At the end of the class, when the bell I couldn't hear rang, I expected Edward to jump out of his seat, as normal. But he didn't. I gathered my things, trying not to look at him, when I heard a musical murmur. I had to look at him. He was looking at me, but wasn't saying anything. I was clearly imagining things.

But I had to check.

"Did you just call my name?" it sounded idiotic the moment I said it, and I wanted to swallow the words.

"Yes." His simple answer was followed by a quiet, and knowing smirk. I glared suspiciously at him.

"What do you need Edward? Are you talking to me again?" I snapped my lips together and held my hands to each other to stop from signing too. I needed to reign back the sass.

"No I suppose not," he smiled, properly now, I longed to see if the smile reached his eyes, but stayed focused on his lips. I wasn't going to miss a second of his speech if I could. His face fell. "I'm sorry. I'm being rude I know, but its better this way."

"Better this way? Better that you pretend I don't exist? I'm sorry I came along and complicated your wonderful life Edward. I can assure you, you did a bang up job on mine." I paused, and dropped my voice to the barest of whispers. "And it's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier, you could have saved yourself all this regret."

I put the last of my books away, finally breaking my gaze. I was mad, and sad, and I wanted to cry. I refused to do that here. The next sentence I heard, so he must've said it quite loudly.

"Regret? For what?"

"For not letting that stupid van squish me." I didn't wait for his response, turning towards the door. Suddenly he was in front of me. The phrase 'angry as a storm cloud' didn't even cover the dark look in his eyes. He looked almost like he had when I walked into class that first day in biology.

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I know you do." I skirted around him, and suddenly he was in front of me again.

"You're wrong." He looked upset. Hollow was a better word. Like I'd killed his cat, and only just told him about it. This time I skirted around him, and he let me. I left the room, taking the long way to gym class. I needed to calm down before the basketballs came flying at me. Had I misjudged, or misread his anger and indifference? If it wasn't regret for saving me, what was it? I had never figured out his initial anger, so I doubted I'd be able to figure out this one. Maybe he was just an angry person, and the one day in biology he had been nice was the exception. It didn't feel right, but I was trying to convince myself that was the case.

Gym was brutal. I paid so much attention to my thoughts about Edward, and so much attention to avoiding the ball, that I fell three times. The third time I took someone with me. I escaped as quickly as I could, practically running to my truck. I jumped out of my skin when I nearly bumped into Eric, who was leaning against my truck. I nearly fell backwards with the force of the jump, and I felt my throat make a little squeak of surprise. Ugh. Eric laughed and apologized for startling me.

"So what's up?" I asked, keeping my eye on him, as I fumbled with my car keys.

"I was wondering if you'd want to go to the spring dance with me?" he asked. I dropped my keys. I was so surprised, and thankful that my clumsiness gave me a quick escape to think and regroup. What was with the boys in this town? Shiny new toy.

"Uh… I thought it was girl's choice?" I asked. Then mentally punched myself. Duh. Doesn't matter. Don't draw this out if you don't have to. Be diplomatic.

"It is, yeah," he said, looking down ashamedly. I regrouped, and found my composure.

"Thank you for asking, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."

"Oh," he said. "Well maybe next time." He wheeled away before I could say anything more and I got into my truck, resting my head against the wheel. Boys. Why on earth? I mean what could possibly possess? Had I looked too intently at them? I was only trying to decipher speech. Had I given off cues I hadn't noticed? I took a deep breath and looked around me. I started to back up and out, when Edward Cullen's Volvo pulled out in front of me, and waited for his siblings. Well that was just rude. They were walking this way, but still far enough away that I'd be here for 30 seconds. Tyler pulled up behind me, and I rolled my eyes. Way to go Cullen. Hold up everyone why don't you? I considered hitting his car. It would make me feel better. There was suddenly a figure at my window and I jumped so hard I let go of the pedal and did inch towards the Volvo slightly. When I was sure that I wasn't moving, and that I hadn't hit the Volvo (shame really), I looked back at an amused Tyler. I rolled down my window, with great effort.

"Sorry Tyler, this isn't my fault –" I began to explain.

"Oh I know, I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." Are you freaking kidding me? My jaw snapped shut with annoyance and I realised that I was so tense I sent little spasms of pain through my leg. I tried to relax and looked back at him. He was halfway through his sentence, but I didn't need to catch up.

"- to the spring dance?"

"I'm not going to be in town Tyler." I managed. I made sure to enunciate my words. I knew I became incoherent when I was too angry. It wasn't his fault that Mike and Eric had used up my patience.

"Yeah Mike said that. I just hoped you were letting them down easy."

I banged my head backwards against the head rest.

"Sorry Tyler, I really am going out of town." I wasn't paying much attention to him anymore, staring angrily at the amber eyes in the rearview mirror of the Volvo, as the Cullen kids got into the car. I missed the middle half of his next sentence though.

"That's cool - - - prom."

My head whipped back towards him. What had he just said about prom? But he was gone, heading back to his car. I could feel the shock on my face, and I looked back at the Volvo. Edward Cullen was shaking with laughter, speeding away. This time I did sign a bad word at him.


	14. Chapter 14

That night I was busy making chicken enchiladas when my phone started buzzing so quickly I thought it was ringing. It wasn't. Jessica was so excited about her texts that she was sending them one sentence at a time.

 _OMG._

 _Mike said yes!_

 _I can't even believe it._

 _It's going to be so much fun._

 _We HAVE to go dress shopping soon._

 _I am so bummed you can't come._

I laughed aloud in the kitchen, and suggested Angela ask Eric, and Lauren ask Tyler to Jessica. Another buzz told me she thought the idea was amazing. I mulled over Edward Cullen. I wondered if I could possibly leave him alone. Could I stay angry at him? Probably not. Not with all I owed him. Plus – he was amazingly beautiful, graceful, mysterious, and just about everything else I had ever wanted. Even his scowls were attractive. I put the spoon down and rubbed my sore thigh. I started into a warrior pose to stretch out my legs and bent backwards towards my left leg to stretch my back and sides. I wobbled a lot but I managed to stay up. Yoga was easy on my own time. It was when I was rushed that I had problems. I transitioned to the other side and suddenly I saw the light flicker ever so slightly. I stood up and looked around the kitchen door.

"Hey Dad!" I called. He actually saluted me back – the ASL way of saying 'hello'. I smiled in return. He was working so hard. I wondered how he found the time to practice. He came in as I put the enchiladas on the plates. He was brave enough to take the first bite, even though he had probably never eaten Mexican food in his life. He was starting to enjoy my cooking, and trust me more in the kitchen – which was a big self-esteem booster.

"Dad?" I signed and said. He watched me closely. "I wanted to let you know that I'm going to Seattle, a week from Saturday, if that's okay."

"Why?" He asked, surprised.

"I wanted to check out the bookstore, get some new clothes, that kind of stuff. The bookstore here is poorly stocked."

"That truck probably doesn't get good gas mileage."

"Yeah not really, but there's plenty of places on the way to stop and get gas. I can even take an extra container if you're really worried."

He looked thoughtful for a minute and I didn't push. I stuffed another bite of enchilada in my mouth and waited.

"You going alone?"

My mouth was still full so I signed a 'yes' with my hand while I chewed quickly.

"I dunno Bells. Seattle's a big city."

"Phoenix is five times the size and I was fine there." Charlie looked at me skeptically. "Well mostly fine there. You know what I mean. I'm going to be okay. Plus I'll have my phone on me."

"Do you want me to come?" He signed 'meet' instead of 'join' and I didn't feel like correcting him.

"I'll be in and out of clothing stores and dressing rooms for most of the day, but you are welcome to come I guess if that'd be okay for you. I thought you had a fishing trip planned?" He shuddered slightly.

"No thanks. I'll stay and fish." He started eating again. Then stopped. "Hang on, isn't that the dance day? Will you be back in time?"

"Ugh. Only in a town this small would you know when the school dances were. Yeah it is. But you `know me. I'm not good with that. I suck at coordination, and my leg hurts after a while. All around unpleasant experience."

Charlie's face darkened again, and he looked thoughtful and sad.

"Right. Sorry."

We finished dinner in silence, and I headed upstairs to finish my homework, note copying, and even set up a playlist of songs to download from my ancient desktop to my phone. I had enough free time and running time that I felt like I needed some music – however warped it sounded to me now. I fell asleep, wondering if Edward Cullen would like my kind of music

In the morning, I drove to school slowly, and parked on the far end of the lot, as far from the silver Volvo as I could. I had headphones in, and the music turned up pretty loudly to try and drown out the rain, the other sounds around me, and my thoughts of Edward. Getting out of the truck I dropped my keys, and began to bend to retrieve them, when a white hand flashed out and grabbed my keys from the puddle. I jerked upright. Edward was leaning casually against my truck.

"How do you do that?" I snapped angrily. My hands froze as I realised I had also signed it at him. He was spinning the keys around his fingers, looking at them determinedly. I wondered briefly if he'd seen me sign.

"Do what?" he asked, loudly and clearly.

"Pop in and out of thin air. I'm beginning to think you have some teleportation skills you haven't shared with the rest of us." I slammed my door, and reached out my hand for the keys. He dropped them into my palm. I pocketed them and began to turn away. A light touch on my jacket shoulder pulled my head back towards him. He took the opportunity to speak again.

"I would like to think that if I had developed teleportation, I'd be using it to travel," he circumvented. I rolled my eyes at him, and focused on his lips.

"Why the traffic jam last night? I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death."

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." He snickered. My teeth clicked together as I ground my teeth in annoyance. This man was probably the one reason I should have pretended to be fully deaf. I could ignore him all the more. Half of me really didn't want to though.

"Jerk." I said, signing 'dick' in my head.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist." He started again. "I just wanted to express to you that it's better if I could pretend you didn't exist. Thankfully, I don't appear to be strong enough to keep away from you."

I had clearly misread and misheard some of those words wrong. Either that or he was speaking in riddles. I closed my eyes for a second to process. Nope. Still didn't make much sense.

"What?" I asked, sighing. Why did I want to know so badly? I wasn't watching where I was going – too busy looking at his lips for a response – and my foot caught a curb I hadn't noticed was there. I didn't make it to the ground though, Edward had once again managed to catch me, pulling me gently upright before letting me go.

"Would you please watch where you're going?" he snapped quickly at me. Now it was my turn to get angry again. Fantastic way to start my morning.

"I can't." I spat back. "Too busy –" reading lips. I blushed at what I'd almost admitted, and turned away quickly, angrily sloshing through the rain. Another tap on my shoulder as his dark figure settled into pace quickly beside mine.

"I'm sorry. That was rude and inconsiderate of me. I seem to let my - get out of hand with you." I was moderately sure I'd heard 'ton' and had to consider the context before clicking the word 'tongue' into the sentence. I'm sure my extended silence was taken as a rejection of his apology and suddenly he was in front of me.

"I truly am sorry. For everything." I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. He looked so sincere that I couldn't doubt him. He was apologizing for the rudeness, the distance, the quips, all of it. I shouldn't have looked at his eyes. I could barely remember the things he was apologizing for. They were so intense.

"It's fine." Now that we were inside, I looked around, trying to catch sight of a clock, and suddenly noticed that people were staring at me – at us. Oh great. Another reason to be the center of attention. A quick tap on my arm brought my attention back to Edward. Had I missed him saying something? He didn't look impatient, just like he was catching my eye before he wanted to speak next. That was something that Charlie and Angela did, but no one else. My eyes squinted in suspicion at him. Had he guessed I was hearing impaired?

"Anyway. You distracted me. I had something to ask you, and you sidetracked me," he explained. I waited. I was definitely being the rude one this morning. "I was wondering if, a week from Saturday, you know – the day of the spring dance…."

"Are you trying to be funny?" I whispered angrily at him. I thought about repeating myself, but he seemed to have heard me, and held up a gesture of 'wait'.

"Will you please allow me to finish? I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

I blinked, confused. I had definitely read that wrong. It sounded like he was trying to give me a ride to Seattle. What else could he have said though? Worried a rice?

"I'm sorry – did you just ask if I wanted a ride to Seattle?" I confirmed. He nodded in response. "You want to drive me to Seattle?" He nodded again, smirking, but patient. "Why?"

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle soon, and I figured some company wouldn't be disagreeable. Also I'm not entirely convinced your truck can make the trip." Sass and quips. So much for that apology.

"Well I'm not entirely convinced that your company wouldn't be disagreeable. And lay off my truck." I hadn't said no though. The idea thrilled me. A four hour journey, one way with Edward Cullen. Eight hours overall. Could I stand that? Would we be impartial and quiet, or talkative and sassy like today? I almost said yes, and then I remembered that awfully crippling fear I have regarding other people driving. That was a little bit of a mood dampener for sure.

"Honestly Edward. I'd like to say yes," I started, letting down the mean and offensive character I had built up with him over the past few minutes. "But I kind of have an issue with other people driving. I'm not… I mean… I don't feel safe." I was definitely blushing. Hard. Angry and self-shaming tears were making my vision every so lightly blurry and I scowled at myself, beginning to turn away. He caught my attention again, by ducking his head into my vision.

"I…" he paused, looking pained, "wouldn't be entirely opposed to you driving us." Such a liar. He was totally opposed, and was only offering out of gentlemanly courtesy. His hand were clenched into fists and he looked like he'd rather eat mud, but he tried to smile at me. "Honestly."

I laughed. He must be reaaaaally wanting to prove that he was not a total jerk. "You'd absolutely hate it wouldn't you?" I clarified. His smile dropped and his nose scrunched.

"Yes. But I want to prove to you, that I'm… well that I'm not the awful person I've made myself out to be. I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella. And if that means I have to endure your truck for a few hours, I can deal with it."

I stared back at him in real surprise. It was probably the most honest, and yet nicest, thing that had come through his lips in the past few minutes.

"Okay." I agreed, hoping my expression conveyed my newfound appreciation. He straightened, and nodded.

"Good. See you in class."


	15. Chapter 15

I made my way to English class quickly. I was late. Nobody was out in the hallway anymore. I tried to enter quietly, but that hope was shot, when the teacher glared pointedly at me. Mike wasn't in his usual spot beside me, and I worried that maybe I had scorned him, Eric and Tyler too efficiently. That hope wasn't completely lost though, as Mike and Eric still walked me to my next class. I spent some extra effort trying to focus on the conversation, and get my mind off of Edward Cullen. Mike seemed to gain enthusiasm as we walked, and was talking more eagerly about his beach trip on the weekend.

I traded notes with Angela before my next class, and realised that after all her hard and diligent work over the past several weeks I owed her some dinner or something. She had kept near perfect script, examples, and side notes in her notes, and they all looked like something out of a study guide, rather than notes you should be hurriedly taking in class.

"Ang, I swear these are getting better as we go on. I didn't even think that was possible." I shook my head as I examined her use of underlining, capitalisation and colour coordination.

"It is actually helping me absorb the information too you know. The better notes I keep for you, the more intently I'm listening. You're only helping my grades really." She laughed in response.

"I still owe you dinner at some point."

"Done deal."

After class we walked to the cafeteria, talking about where we should head for dinner. My eyes glanced reflexively towards the Cullen table, and my stomach dropped again. He was missing. The other four were there, but he wasn't. Had our conversation this morning altered his mood that much that he was skipping out again? I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and managed to knock Jessica into Mike. I froze, sheepishly, expecting a backlash from Jessica, but she seemed almost elated that Mike had caught her, and was making sure she was okay before he let go again. I'd probably get an earful and a micro-analysis about everything he did, and heck, maybe even a thank you. But in the meantime I blushed and awkwardly slid around them, muttering an apology. I'd managed to lose my appetite, and I bought only a bottle of lemonade. I wanted to go sit down and mull over the events of this morning. I was obviously not paying any attention to my friends, because suddenly Angela nudged me meaningfully and I looked up towards her. She nodded her head towards Jessica.

"- at you again." I caught from her. I scrunched my nose in a frown.

"Sorry for bumping into you Jess. I didn't mean to and I'm glad you're fine." I tried. She blinked at me confusedly for a few seconds and I realised I'd totally missed the point. She had obviously tried to start a new line of conversation. "And pardon? I was totally out of it there." I tacked on.

"It's fine. And I said, Edward Cullen is staring at you again. I wonder why he's sitting alone today." She nodded her head towards the far end of the cafeteria. My gaze followed hers, and I found him sitting at a table, alone, with a tray of food. And indeed he was staring at me. He smiled and raised his hand, beckoning me over. I looked back at Jessica as I heard her begin to speak.

" – mean you?"

I shrugged, and Angela nudged me again. I looked at her, expecting a re-direct, but instead she gave me a smile and nodded towards Edward Cullen.

"He might need help with his Biology homework, or something." I muttered lamely to them, and headed over to him. I knew that Jessica would also be micro-analysing this lunch period, and I stupidly hoped that she'd actually get distracted. When I got to the opposite side of the table I fixed my eyes on his lips. I wasn't going to miss a second of this if I could help it.

"Why don't you site with me today?" he smiled, he half looked like he was hoping I'd refuse him, and half looked like he truly wanted the company. I sat down, as gracefully as I could manage, hoping nothing about my rubber boots and coat squeaked too loudly. I reaffixed my gaze to his smile and waited. He was silent.

"Well this is different." I chuckled. "Are you having second thoughts about letting me drive us to Seattle?"

He suddenly cringed slightly, looking over to his sibling's table, and I wondered if he was thinking about explaining our 'outing' together later. His focus snapped back to me within a second.

"No. Your driving doesn't particularly thrill me, but I can manage." He was smiling again. "And as for the new seating arrangements, I decided that as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

I flicked my gaze up to his eyes again. They were light in colour, but dark with intensity. I waited a few seconds again.

"I don't know if you noticed, but I tend to get a little lost in conversations anyway, so if you could try to avoid the riddle-speak I'd appreciate it." I offered. He ducked his head down, as if I'd scolded him.

"You're right. I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I know I should try to be clear and simple, but my - and words seem to run - when I'm with you." I'm sure my face betrayed some irritation at missing a few of his words, because he suddenly began to speak a little louder. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you."

"I wouldn't say angry. I got a surprised vibe more than anything." I could feel their stares at my back and I shrugged. "And I should probably warn you that Jessica at least is watching everything you do."

"Oh I'm aware. She's analysing while Mike is contemplating an invasion."

"An invasion?"

"To break up this intimate get together," he explained. I laughed properly now.

"You and I have different opinions on the definition of 'intimate get together'. This is just lunch."

He smiled too, and then his face became more serious, "But I may not give you back."

"Why the sudden interest? You went from what I could only classify as an angry resentment, to willingly offering yourself up to an eight hour confinement." I shook my head bemused. "It's almost like you lost a bet."

"First of all, it wasn't an angry resentment. I was trying to keep away from you Bella. I'm not good for you. You really shouldn't be friends with me and if you were smart you'd stay away. Secondly, I told you that I was tired of trying to stay away from you. That is the reason for my abrupt turn around. And thirdly, my brothers were actually betting on when I'd finally crack and start interacting with you." He leaned back, folding his arms and scowling over towards his sibling's table again, before returning his intense gaze to me. I thought about my response for a second.

"Okay. That's fair. Although I can't really condone the gambling aspect." I tried to joke. He smiled slightly, weakly in response. "So what do we talk about now? Most of our conversations have involved our lack of civility, or class topics."

"Actually, I believe there was at least one discussion about weather in there." He corrected, relaxing a little more.

"You're right. How could I have forgotten?" I laid on the sarcasm a little thickly, but it kept him relaxed. I looked down at my lemonade and opened the bottle.

"Not hungry?" he asked. I shot him a sarcastic look. All of his food was equally untouched, as I had seen it many times before.

"A little hypocritical, since you and your siblings don't seem to mind skipping the 'eating' part of eating lunch." I actually used air-quotes with my fingers around my point of emphasis. Edward scowled, almost angrily at me. His lips turned down in a frown and his body tensed up. I sighed.

"Sorry. Forget I said that. I wasn't trying to pry." I looked down at my lemonade bottle. Why had I dug at him? Things were going so well. "I suppose you aren't the only one whose thoughts run away with them."

I stared determinedly at my lemonade bottle, took a sip, and then stared back at it. Edward waved a hand to grab my attention.

"My mother feeds us quite well at breakfast, and again at dinnertime. If we eat lunch too, how else are we supposed to maintain our figures?" he was offering an out. I'd take it. He was a terrible liar, but I didn't want to spend the lunch hour having him sulking or fuming. It then occurred to me that once again he had caught my attention before speaking. I suddenly looked at him sharply. His father was my attending physician after all. Had he spoken about my hearing? Edward seemed to see me tense up, and looked at me guardedly.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"How… Did… " What was I even going to ask? How did he know? Did he know at all? Did Doctor Cullen, or Charlie spill the beans? Or had he caught Angela and I signing together? I snapped my mouth shut to think. Edward looked more frustrated than I did in that moment. As if he was expecting to know exactly what I was about to say, and it had been taken away from him.

"What exactly do you know about conversing with me?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Short and sweet - should update again by latest Wednesday night :D**

We stared each other down for a moment. He had a look of calm, confusion, and a meekness that I hoped was guilt. I'm sure my face displayed only heated embarrassment and accusation. He folded his fingers together and sighed. His eyes stayed on my face but mine moved once again to his lips.

"I have… gathered… over the limited time I've spent with you, that unless people catch your attention or speak loudly enough, you don't seem to hear them. At first I thought you were being rude, but I observed a little more, about the way you interacted with Chief Swan at the hospital, and the way Angela nudges you if she needs to talk." He took a breath and unfolded his two index fingers so that he was pointing towards me. "You, I have assumed anyway, have some sort of hearing limitation. I wasn't trying to be rude or too obvious today; I just wanted to make it as easy as possible."

He knew. A boy who had all but hated me, who had spent the better part of several weeks adamantly _ignoring_ me, and he had figured it out. My head turned back towards my friends. How many of them had -? My musings were cut off by a gentle touch to my sleeve. I snapped my head back towards him.

"Only Angela knows. From what I can tell anyway. I will not divulge a secret that is not mine to share." His lips smiled tenderly and I searched his eyes. I had never seen such sincerity radiate from a person before. "Please tell me what you're thinking. The silence is killing me." I hadn't realised that I had been completely silent since he started to explain. What was I supposed to say? I'm glad you know and can keep your mouth shut. I'm angry you know, and you need to forget right now. Neither of those seemed to fit.

"Did your discovery affect your indifference towards me?" I whispered.

"I don't understand the question," he frowned back at me.

"Did you start talking to me again, and offering rides to Seattle, because you pitied me?" I hoped I hadn't spat back too harshly. He recoiled in disgust, actually sneering slightly.

"My opinion of you has not changed since the day you swore yourself to silence on my behalf. That was by far the most character proving act you have committed. Your ability, or lack thereof, to hear all of the things going on around you makes no difference to me."

I remained silent, digesting. I had after all kept his super strength and speed a secret, and it was quite likely that he was going to keep mine in return. I hadn't questioned him any further, and once again, it was quite likely that he wasn't going to press the issue with me. He seemed truly distraught that I was upset with him for finding out, even more so than when I asked to drive us to Seattle.

"Okay then." I looked down at my lemonade bottle again, drunk a sip and looked back up. Edward looked confused and frustrated again.

"That's it?" he asked.

"You know something about me I'd rather not spread around. So technically we're even on that score. And I'm still driving us to Seattle, so my plans haven't really changed. So yeah." There was the issue of my truck however. "I'll have to ask Angela if we can trade vehicles for the day, since you seem to despise the tank that I drive so much." This time it was me offering him the out. He took a second to relax, and then sat back into his chair, nonchalantly, spinning my lemonade lid in his fingers.

"You don't need to worry about endangering Angela's life with your 'tank' as you call it. You can drive us in the Volvo," he smirked, and looked up at his siblings. I risked a glance. Emmett and Jasper were staring at us in shock. They couldn't possibly have heard us; they were half a cafeteria away.

"And what are they staring at exactly?" I looked back to Edward for his response.

"I had informed Alice of our plans, and I suppose they must have just found out we were headed to Seattle together." He looked like he was sharing some private joke.

"And you hanging out with a girl is akin to miracle work? Poor you. Love life been slow?" I teased. He looked back at me sardonically.

"Actually, I never let anyone drive me anywhere. Let alone, in my own car." He was serious. I felt slightly ashamed again, that it was necessary in the first place, and then also kind of honoured.

"Secret keepers get special privileges?" I joked.

"Well then surely that would offer me some?" he shot back with a smile.

"Sure does. You get to navigate, and you even get dibs on the radio."

"In my own car? I'm flattered."

I finished the rest of my lemonade, and looked around the cafeteria. People were filing out. I must have missed the bell ring. I started to stand, and noticed that Edward wasn't moving.

"We're going to be late for class." I prompted.

"I'm not joining you today Bella."

"Why not?"

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." He looked peaceful with his resolution.

"Well I miss enough in classes I'm actually attending to account for that healthy dose of ditching. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Would I? I hoped I didn't sound too hopeful about that fact. Would this new, charming, and banter-filled Edward still be present tomorrow?

"Of course," he nodded back, still focused on the lemonade bottle lid.

I managed to get to class in plenty of time, and even managed to avoid bumping into a relatively annoyed looking Mike. I sat down at my empty, but not strangely so, desk and focused on the front of the class. Mr Banner came in seconds after I had just pulled my bag onto the desk.

"Hello class! I have a surprise for you today. No more boring lectures on cell phases and structures and yadda yadda yadda…" he took a large cardboard box out from under his desk. He then spun around to the board and began to draw a chart. A. AB. B. O., were spelled out on the board, and then a quick positive/negative beside that.

"-with blood types you never know what you'll get unless you know your parents'." He pulled out a smaller box, a needle, an indicator card, and motioned Mike up to the front. My stomach dropped. Needles and blood. That was our class today. Banner stuck Mike's finger and squeezed out a drop of red, and my vision started to blur. I spun out of my chair as quickly as possible, and made it to the door in seconds.


	17. Chapter 17

I didn't recall much of my flight out of the classroom, but the next thing I knew Mike and Mr. Banner were in front of me, and I was dizzy. I couldn't focus enough on them to hear what they were saying, but I made sure to interject with the fact that I was fine and only needed to go to the nurse at best. Suddenly I was being pulled up, my arm over Mike's shoulder, and we were walking away from the biology lab, towards the exit. As soon as we got outside I felt more clear-minded. The cool and damp of the misting rain that fell from the sky was exactly what I needed. I stopped us, sitting down on the pavement as soon as I thought we were out of sight of Mr. Banner.

"You really don't look so good Bella. Do you want me to bring the nurse?" Mike asked. He must've been pretty close to me for me to hear it so clearly, but I was focused on making my way to the ground. It was cool and damp, with no needles, and no blood. I inhaled the smell of the wet asphalt and focused on a droplet of water that was slowly making its way down my forehead. I breathed heavily, trying to ignore Mike, until he said:

"I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened. She didn't even stick her finger." Ugh. Maybe the nurse had magically discovered me. More likely it was another overly interested student. I frowned when I felt a cold hand press against my forehead.

"Bella, can you hear me?" a familiar voice spoke into my ear. Of course it would be him to find me.

"No. Go away. I'm napping." I tried to look severe, but with my face pressed against the wet ground I probably only looked more sick. He only laughed musically.

"I was taking her to the nurse…"

"I'll take her. You can go back to class."

I focused on opening my eyes to glare at Edward and Mike, when suddenly I was being whisked upwards. I gripped onto Edward's coat for dear life. He had lifted me as if I were a doll, obviously intent on carrying me to the nurse's office.

"Put me down." I was going to vomit on his nice jacket. That would be the fitting end to this awful episode. I clamped my mouth back together, inhaling his smell, and focusing on calming my stomach down.

"You look awful."

"You sound too pleased about that." I felt myself sway slightly as he turned around a building's edge. "Please put me back on the sidewalk. I'll walk. Or I'll vomit."

"We're nearly there. Please refrain from ruining my clothing."

I kept my fists locked into their tight grip. My hands were screaming at me to let go, but I didn't want to fall. This felt almost as bad as being driven places. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend we weren't moving. I was just chilling in Edward's arms. That thought did actually make me a little happier, and slightly more embarrassed. Suddenly I felt a rush of warm air and I knew we had indeed made it to the nurse's building.

"She fainted in biology."

There was a sudden whoosh of warm air and the warm yellow glow of incandescent light all around me. I looked determinedly at my knees until Edward had placed me on a crinkly, rough paper surface.

"I'll get you a cold compass dear," the nurse said. It took me a second to realize she had said 'compress' not 'compass' and I sighed irritably. I took a few deep breaths trying to center my thoughts, and began to glare at Edward again.

"This wasn't necessary," I whispered slowly and angrily at him. I made sure to enunciate when I whispered, as I couldn't hear my own voice. He shrugged his shoulders, as if my presence here was inevitable. I leaned against the wall instead of lying down, so that I could more easily converse if I had to. The nurse came back in, handed me a cold compress, and a bottle of water. I held the bottle loosely, considering throwing it at Edward as he smiled smugly in the corner of the room. The nurse made herself scarce again after I assured her that I was fine.

"So you faint at the sight of blood?" Edward asked, almost mockingly.

"You know where you can shove that sarcasm Edward?" I retaliated quickly. His smile faltered only for a second. "I'm sorry. I get snappy when I'm dizzy. I don't like the smell. Or needles. Needles are the second worst."

"Humans can't smell blood." he dismissed quickly.

"Well I can. It smells like rust. Copper almost. It turns my stomach and makes my head spin."

I waited a few more minutes. Edward seemed content to just stand there quietly, while I rolled out my neck and stretched my shoulders. I frowned at the realization that I had left my coat and bag in class. I'd have to go back there.

"You were right." I muttered.

"I usually am, but what are we referring to in this case?" Edward responded, slowly and clearly.

"It is healthy to ditch class every now and then." This earned me a genuine smile from him.

"You know, you scared me for a second there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body out to the woods. Thought I'd have to avenge your murder." He shook his head in mock horror. It was my turn to chuckle.

"Poor Mike. Bet he loved you running to my rescue."

"Oh he absolutely loves me right now." The way he had said 'love' was off. Probably not what he had said. I frowned slightly.

"What? You can't expect me not to poke fun at Mike. It's fun."

"It's not that. Although you probably should ease up, he's just being nice. I misunderstood something you just said. See it looked like you said 'loved' there, but the 'o' was wrong." I clarified. His eyes lit up with understanding.

"Loathes. Despises."

"Stick to despising people. I read that better."

He chuckled again, and then his head suddenly snapped towards the door and he walked towards me, protectively.

"Hold your breath Bella."

Mike Newton, carrying my bag and coat, and a woozy looking classmate stumbled through the door. I hopped off the bed quickly to make room and focused on Mike, trying not to breathe.

"- your stuff for you." Mike said, looking glaringly at Edward, as if he were trying to redeem himself for not taking me to the nurse himself.

"Thank you for that. I definitely couldn't have gone back there." I started to leave when I heard him start to ask something again.

"- to gym class?"

"I'm probably going to skip out on the rest of the day Mike. I'm sorry, and thank you again for bringing my things." I started to turn away again, but Mike started talking again.

"You're still up for coming this weekend though right? To the beach?" He looked hopeful, and then awkwardly at Edward. Three guesses who wasn't invited.

"Yeah – I said I was in, didn't I? I'll probably crash with Angela the night before, and we'll drive her mom's car in." That seemed to have enough content to settle him for now. I turned away quickly before he could say anything more, and rubbed my temples. I probably needed a nap. My day had turned out to be an emotional rollercoaster. I began walking back to the front office, and I noticed Edward was at my side.

"How hard do you think it'll be for me to get out of gym class?" I muttered, looking up at his lips.

"Leave that to me," he chuckled. "Go sit down, look pale."

I rolled my eyes at him, and sat in the chair closest to the door. I bent over, letting my hair fall over my face and studied the floor, straining to hear what I could. I could hear a the patter of rain outside, and the ticking of an annoyingly loud clock, and a low musical murmuring which I assumed was Edward. I couldn't hear Mrs. Cope. The music man started again, and then stopped. And suddenly there was a pair of designer boots in my field of view. I looked up at him, and he motioned me out, stealing my bag from the chair beside me. I was too tired to argue with him about it.


	18. Chapter 18

**Whaddup folks? Surprise Friday Post! Hahah!**

We headed out into the rain, and I tilted my face upwards to let the cool water refresh my face. I felt a million times better than I had, and focusing on the cold sensation was exactly what I had needed. I opened my eyes again and realised that Edward was staring bemusedly at me.

"What?" I asked, defensively. "What do you do when you're sick?"

"I don't get sick," he frowned slightly, then smiled in a nasty and reminiscent way. "Well I had the flu once, and it _killed_ me."

"Well I've never had the flu, but I feel queasy enough around blood that I've thrown up a few times. Think I gave myself a concussion once when I lost consciousness." We were walking towards my truck when suddenly Edward pulled me backwards. I stopped instantly, turning to look at him in confusion.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" He looked annoyed and sort of scary.

"I'm...I'm going home?" I stated, but I definitely felt like I'd asked it.

"You're not driving yourself home," he snapped back "Didn't you hear me promise to get you home safely?"

I glared at him sarcastically. "Actually no." I hoped my annoyance filtered through. He didn't back down though, dragging me towards his car. He let me go when I was right beside the passenger side door. He walked to the driver's side and raised his eyebrows at me.

"Do you have a memory forming or retaining disorder?" I asked coolly. His anger flickered and was replaced by confusion.

"No. Why?"

"Because you already forgot about my inability to hear low conversations, and now you're forgetting the entire conversation about driving to Seattle we had this morning." I quipped. I could feel angry tears welling. "I. Don't. Do. Passenger."

We stared at each other for a moment, and he closed the driver's side door and rested his arms against the car roof.

"You are not fit to drive home," he started.

"I could walk." I countered. "It's only two miles, and I run further than that all the time." He stood up fully again, opened the door, put his keys in the ignition, left them there, and closed the door again. He then walked around me and we began to head towards my truck. So I was driving then? I was about to ask when he opened his hand for my keys.

"It's not the car that's the issue," I began, but this time he interrupted me.

"I'll need your keys if my sister Alice is going to be dropping your truck home after school." he clarified. I dropped them into his hand, and he placed them in the ignition, and my school bag in the footwell on the passenger side. He shut the door, and looked at me.

"Lead the way."

I blinked a few times.

"What?"

"I said 'lead the way'." he repeated it slower and louder.

"No I heard it, but I'm not sure I follow. You are going to walk, two miles in the rain with me, to keep a promise to Mrs. Cope?" I scoffed. He looked deadly serious for a moment.

"Not for Mrs. Cope. I will keep that promise though. I will deliver you home safely," his face lightened again. "We can call this a practice run for Seattle if you like."

Being alone with Edward for 45 minutes would not even be close to the worst thing to happen to me this year. Especially this new, talkative, and slightly charming Edward. Was I crazy to want to be around the super fast, super strong, super secretive stranger that had so ardently despaired at the thought of even looking in my direction for several weeks? Oh yes. Completely.

"What are we practicing, sarcasm?" I laughed gently, resigned.

He smirked back at me and got out his phone as we began walking. He quickly typed a text, undoubtedly to Alice, informing her of the situation she was now in.

"Alice doesn't have to bring my truck home. I could just walk in tomorrow morning." I offered. Edward shook his head as if that were the most ridiculous thing proposed today. And we walked.

It was raining on and off, and misting between, so as we walked we both got progressively drenched. We started out in silence, and then Edward hopped in front of me, walking backwards and facing me, presumably so that I could see his lips more clearly.

"I appreciate the effort. But you're going to fall over."

"I have excellent balance Bella. I'm fine. This makes it easier for you?"

"Yes, of course. I can read your lips and the sound of your voice is more direct."

"Well then I shall endeavor to face you when we converse. And of course, catch your attention in the first place."

"Please don't go out of your way." I rolled my eyes at him. "Although today's trek makes me think that I'd be better off trying to convince you to juggle swords than to go out of your way."

He looked thoughtful for a moment while he continued walking backwards.

"You know, I don't think I've ever tried to juggle," he confided. "At least not that I recall."

"Well don't look at me. I can barely catch."

"Your coordination does seem a little limited sometimes." I scrunched my nose in response and he smiled. And then we were quiet for a long stretch.

"Can I ask a question?" I blurted.

"You can ask," he said, carefully, his eyes guarded.

"Why did you start speaking to me again? Really." I watched him frown slightly and then he answered in a slow and careful way, as if he were unsure or trying to translate something.

"I didn't want to keep ignoring you. It would have been better if I had been able to, but you are too tempting a - to me. What were you thinking? Why did you say that, or do this? It got infuriating. I think the last straw for me were the boys lining up at your door. Were you really going to Seattle or just trying to be diplomatic?"

I waited a few seconds while he shrugged and wiped a long strand of wet hair away from his eyes.

"Okay I'm relatively sure you said "mystery' but it totally looked like "mistress' so I was confused for a split second." I clarified. He nodded and smiled again "And you could have just asked. I didn't realize I was being so confusing." Or that you were watching. I added silently. I wasn't used to being on someone else's mind. "Also, I really wanted to go to a bookstore and avoid the school dance, so it was a two birds, one stone, kind of scenario."

"If I had asked you, would you have said no?" He blurted speculatively. I laughed.

"Go to an event I hate with a supernatural boy who hates me? Lemme think about that one." He glared at me for bringing up the reason he wasn't supposed to be speaking to me. I smiled back and then really thought about it. "I probably would have said yes at the time. You are easy on the eyes after all." I deflected from the seriousness of my statement. This time he laughed and louder, more freely than before.

"Well thank you Miss Swan. You aren't bad yourself." He looked up at me seriously and I blushed, but tried to cover it by wiping rain away from my face. "Wait - you said 'at first'. What do you mean by that?"

"I would have figured out a way to cancel. Faked an illness or injury. Actually injured myself. The usual." I shrugged. "Can I ask another one?" We were approaching my house and I wanted to know something. He looked at me expectantly.

"I know why you started talking to me, and even why you stopped talking to me... But what I can't figure out, is why you risked all that you did to save me from that van in the first place." I waited quietly.

"That wasn't a question." He diverted.

"Why did you save me from the van? You can't share how, I know and will respect it even, but why?"

We were on my driveway. And I watched as he frowned and stared off down the road we had walked down. I turned to look too there was nothing there. I looked back at him.

"I don't know, Bella. I don't know." His eyes burned with some untold emotion as he stared at me. All of a sudden he started to walk past me, back towards the school.

"You're welcome to come in." I stammered out. He had to walk another two miles back. He turned back toward me so I could see his response.

"Thank you, but my siblings will be along any moment. And I have some explaining to do... Don't worry. Alice will have your truck here before Chief Swan gets home."

And he walked briskly out of sight.


	19. Chapter 19

**HELLO Readers! So apparently there are just over 1000 of you reading this story now! I hope I'm not disappointing in any way. Please let me know if there is anything you'd like to see happen (Aside from an Edward POV – I'm not confident I can do that yet) that I can try and work in. Also I hope you are all okay with the slightly OOC Edward. I like to think he's sort of playing off of the confidence and sass that my Bella brings to him, instead of the more angsty and blank Bella of the real SM universe. But enough from me…**

My truck arrived mysteriously and suddenly within the hour. I hadn't expected to hear it over the rain, but I had been checking every few minutes for some sign. When Charlie got home that night he didn't mention the biology incident, so he either hadn't heard, or didn't consider it too pressing. We started to watch a baseball game together, and I filled him in about the beach trip to La Push that was happening on Saturday. I think he felt guilty about leaving me alone too often, and I wanted to let him know that I was fine.

"Maybe you'll see Jacob and Billy when you're out that way. I think Rachel and Rebecca are still out of town, but there could be a couple of familiar faces." He smiled. I remembered Billy Black. He was my dad's best friend, and they went fishing together every weekend. If I saw Billy this weekend, I'd be seeing him with Charlie no doubt. Jacob was unfamiliar to me. Rebecca and Rachel I did remember as we'd been thrown together quite a few times when we were children.

"I'm sure. I'll also have most of my school friends too dad. Angela, Mike, Jessica, Ben, Eric, to name a few."

"Well, in case I don't see you before you go, enjoy it Bells." He signed ' _Have fun Bells'_ and I smiled at him.

"You really have been working on your signing haven't you? Clearly aren't busy enough down at the station."

We sat quietly for a while longer, but as I really didn't know anything about baseball, or have any incentive to find out, I excused myself to go to bed early. I'd had a relatively exhausting day, after all. My dreams were once again restless.

 _I was in a car. Lights were flashing past me. Not streetlights, the headlights of a busy highway. I could hardly see out of my window because of the rain. I turned my head to look at the driver, and I was unsurprised. Instead of the usual girl from my school, Edward was driving us again, and his skin was shimmering with light. He looked at me, and like clockwork, I looked at the speedometer. We were going fast. Far, far too fast. As I looked back at Edward I noticed he was still looking at me, this time with a confident smirk. Suddenly the car jerked sideways, and my hair lifted in front of my face as if pulled up by strings. It fell to the right slightly, then left, then down to my chin again, as the lights outside danced in circles. My eyes focused back onto the golden ones. He began to move, unnaturally fast, towards me, protectively. His eyes never left mine as we spun helplessly – me cradled in his arms - and suddenly there was a bone shattering snap in my leg._

I woke tangled in blankets with my leg aching from the effort of tensing for too long. Daylight was streaming onto my face. It was lighter outside? Not quite sunny, but not as darkly overcast as before. I looked out onto the suddenly emerald green surroundings that had seemed so gloomy yesterday. I showered, and got dressed in an optimistic lace shirt and some jeans. I had a quick breakfast and looked for my schoolbag for a moment. It took a minute of me searching to remember that it was in the foot well of my truck. I opened the front door, locked it after me with the key from the eave, and hopped into my truck. There was a note, folded in half on my passenger seat. I opened it with a more than mild curiosity.

 _Bella,_

 _I asked Alice to leave this on the seat for you._

 _My parents have decided to take us on an extended camping trip._

 _We leave early in the morning, and won't return for a few days._

 _Enjoy your weekend – and try not to faint about anything until I get back._

 _Edward_

"Ha ha." I muttered as I put the note in my bag. His script was so elegant and beautiful that even this hastily concocted note looked like something out of a graphic design department. He'd cared enough about my well-being to leave me a note. He'd cared that I'd notice him gone today. I should probably give him my number if he wanted to fill me in like my other friends. Would he use it? These thoughts along with some unexpected happy feelings kept my brain occupied as I drove to school. No one was there yet. In my haste to enjoy the lighter weather I hadn't checked the time all morning. I had an hour to go until classes began. I sat at a table in the cafeteria, and dutifully tried to get ahead on my homework. I even texted my mom a little before a shadow appeared in my view of the table. I turned around to see Mike there.

"I was calling…"

"Sorry – I guess I was a little wrapped up in my thoughts." I chuckled. "How are you? Excited for the beach trip tomorrow?" I was trying to get him back to his old talkative self. He perked up straight away.

"Yeah! We've divided up the cars so that we should all fit in two." My stomach clenched and my brain whirled to find a quick reason to go early.

"Actually Mike, if it is alright with you, I have to drive my truck down there in the early morning. Something's a little off, and since the Blacks – the family we bought it from – fixed it up themselves, I wanted to check if they had any ideas." I mentally high-fived myself. That was by far the fastest, most plausible and detailed excuse I had ever come up with. Mike seemed partially deflated, until I added, "Honestly, I'll probably beat you to the beach. Need me to bring anything?"

We kept talking for a few minutes, until the bell rang. We headed to class as though everything were normal, but my day seemed abnormally dull, despite the lighter mood amongst students and even the weather. I could pin it to the absence of a certain family, although I kept fingering the note in my bag that Edward had left me. Of course there were the fainting comments from yesterday – Jessica seemed to get a kick out of them especially – but no one had really noticed Edward's involvement. At lunch time I kept Angela's attention for the whole hour, catching up a little on the events of yesterday's classes, and covering a little bit of mine and Edward's lunchtime conversation, without letting on that I had seen him again later in the day.

"I've never seen him sit with anyone but his family before." Angela said quietly. "I think that's a positive sign." She seemed quietly excited about my interaction with Edward, while Jessica was listening, and glowering at me. I could have sworn she muttered 'I thought it was weird' but I wasn't entirely sure. Lauren and her muttered amongst themselves, and I tried not to peek, but when I did, I caught my name.

" – why Bella just doesn't sit with the Cullens from now on." Lauren said. I really didn't know her well at all, certainly not enough for her to dislike me.

I tried not to look at whatever response Jessica had. I didn't need to be the topic of the school for a third time. I sighed. Which was worse: Phoenix Pity or Forks Focus? They sounded like bad car names. I was starting to miss the avoidance that came with pity, and dislike the jealousy that came with focus. Other than lunch, the day went by relatively normally and although it seemed to drag on, I tried to keep myself focused and busy. I got caught up and then extra ahead on my homework, and copied Angela's notes thoroughly – almost to the degree of neatness and detail that she had written them.

When I got home I was relaxed, and eager to get my chores out of the way so that I could look forward to the weekend ahead. I did laundry, cleaned the kitchen and started dinner, and was mid-way through cleaning my room when Renee called. I video-chatted with her as I cleaned, and made my way back down stairs to check on the lasagna I had in the oven. I nearly threw my phone up in shock when I saw a figure in the kitchen. It was Charlie, who had apparently managed to avoid my notice on his way in, and he looked up at me to apologize.

"Geez Bells, I didn't mean to scare you. You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Didn't hear you come in."

I said goodbye to mom, and checked on the food. It was almost done. I then asked Charlie for the address to Billy Black's place. I'd have to have some evidence that I'd tried to go there if Mike asked. Once I had the scrap of paper, and had told Charlie the excuse I had concocted to skirt out of carpooling, I went back upstairs to shower and hit the bed. I had intended to get up early, but the sun woke me before my phone started buzzing. It was actually sunny outside. Maybe today wouldn't be so horrendous after all.


	20. Chapter 20

**Two chapters in almost as many days? The blasphemy! It's as if I had a few days off or something!**

The sun was definitely a mood brightener for me that day. Charlie had already left, so I drove to the La Push address Charlie had supplied for me. It was only fifteen miles to La Push, with the wide Quileute river snaking under the road twice, and beautiful walls of sparkling green foliage along the way. When I found the house, I stopped the truck outside. Charlie's cruiser was sitting in the driveway, and the place looked dark and quiet. They were already off fishing I guessed. Their house was beautiful and warm looking, with a set of plastic sheds beside it. The ramp for Billy's wheelchair was worn, but stable looking, and had a few fishing lures dropped beside it. I pulled out my phone to figure out my path from here to the beach when a loud knock on my window had me jump so hard I knocked the car horn. A young but attractive aboriginal boy laughed at my reaction as he mimed rolling down my window. I did better than that, opening the door for him. He leaned in partially, offering his hand.

"Charlie said you might swing by. I'm Jacob. Jake." I shook his hand, calming my breath a little. He seemed familiar, his face looked like his sister's, although I didn't much remember him.

"Bella. You look a lot like Rebecca actually. I probably would have guessed."

"So I've been told." He shrugged dramatically. I laughed at his good humour. "I heard you need a mechanic?" he rubbed his hands together eagerly.

"I was ditching out of carpooling this morning, and said I had to see a guy about my truck." I admitted sheepishly. "Although I'm sure it could do with a once-over." He laughed jovially, and loudly. His voice was booming.

"I'm definitely the once-over guy. I know it's loud, but it sounds great. Pop the hood so I can take a look?" he backed out, and I reached under the dash and pulled the hood switch. I hopped out of the driver's seat, to come see what he was doing. He looked no older than 16, but clearly this was the boy who'd got my tank in working order for me. He was taller than me already, with long black hair, and smooth copper skin.

"Everything looks just like I left it. I heard you got into an accident?"

"I did not get into an accident. An accident got into me." I snapped, miffed at his assumption. He turned to face me apologetically.

"Hey, easy. I'm teasing. I heard what happened. Charlie wouldn't shut up about it for two days. Swear to god he kept Billy on the phone longer than the one a few years back—" he stopped talking and looked apologetically at me. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up."

"Yeah it's not my favourite subject, but I figured you guys knew. Charlie and Billy gossip like old women." I sighed.

"Yeah they do," he laughed. "Is your hearing any better though? I heard Charlie say he was learning the hand-talking stuff."

"It's called 'signing', and not really. My hearing is maybe even worse than Charlie realises. But he mumbles and he has a mustache, so he's hard to hear and lip-read from." I confided. Something about Jacob emanated trust and warmth.

"You can lip read? That's awesome! Maybe you can teach me, and the signing someday." he fell quiet as he climbed around the truck, checking the superficial scratches from the accident.

"I don't have to lip-read with you, your voice is very loud and easy to hear actually." I laughed in return. Jake smiled proudly, as if this were a great compliment.

"Normally I get told to pipe down. Today's a good day." He patted the back of the truck. "Looking healthy, considering the age I mean."

"Rude. I'm not that much older than you." I joked, it elicited a large booming laugh from him.

"I meant the truck. How old are you anyway? Like 20? I remember you being a lot bigger than me when we were kids."

"Pfft. I'm nineteen actually, and you tell a soul and I'll crash this tank into you." I checked my watch. "I should probably head to First Beach soon. You know how to get there?"

Jacob rolled his eyes at me. "Seriously Bella? I've lived here all my life."

"Well then. You coming or what?" I smiled, getting into the truck. Jacob held up a finger to indicate that I was to wait, and he ran back inside. He emerged moments later with the grease wiped off his hands and a new shirt and jacket. He slipped in beside me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Let's ride!"

…

It turned out that I did manage to beat the kids from my school there, but when they arrived, they filed out in two cars. I'd been to the beaches a lot with Charlie when I was younger, so the mile long crescent of stone beach scattered with driftwood was familiar to me, there was a small strip of white sand too, but it was nothing in comparison to the beautiful smooth pebbles of every colour. The water was dark grey and white capped, and beautiful sheer-cliffed islands scattered the ocean. I knew that somewhere close, but through the forest to the right of where I had parked was a trail that lead to a variety of tide pools that I had been fascinated with as a child. I had also fallen in more than a few times.

I climbed out of the truck, dumping the light jacket I had brought onto my arm – just in case the weather turned, and Jacob followed suite. I was trying to absorb as much sun as possible, turning my face towards the brave and warm sun that peeked through the halo of grey clouds. Moments later more cars arrived. Ben, Connor, Tyler, Lauren, Jessica, Angela, and someone I remembered falling over in gym, all climbed out of a sedan and van. Lee, Samantha, and two extra people filed out of a two-door Volkswagen shortly after. It was quite a gang. Mike didn't seem pleased that I'd arrived with Jacob. The gang headed down the beach to a circle that had clearly been used for gatherings like ours before and they started up a fire.

"- seen a driftwood fire?" Mike turned to me. I shook my head. As it lit up it flamed with whites, greens and blues.

"It's beautiful," I exclaimed. Mike began to say something, but Jacob filled in quicker, and louder.

"It's the salt that does it. Some of the best burning wood is the whitest." Jake supplied helpfully. Mike looked miffed at first that Jake had interrupted his explanation, and then he definitely 'sized up' Jacob, seeming pleased with his obvious youth in comparison to most of my group. Mike sat beside Jess, because I was sandwiched between Angela and Jacob. I had never been more thankful, as she was clearly glad for the attention, and Lauren was receiving enough attention from Tyler to keep her occupied. I introduced Angela to Jacob, and told Jake about the car troubles she'd been having. He jumped in with a list of things it could be, and offered to take a look if she'd bring the car around.

"I'm not a trained expert or anything, but it'd be cheaper than hauling that guy off his butt in Port Angeles. He's expensive." Jacob looked a little shy.

"Don't sell yourself short Jake. You're the only reason my tank is still kicking." I offered as support. He seemed to be pleased with the praise. Angela offered food in return for a car check-up.

"Angela's cookies are like crack though Jake, once you've had them you'll never be able to eat any others again." I warned dutifully. In our many get-togethers she'd fed me enough that I appreciated her epic baking skills.

"Done deal. Maybe we'll start up a supply chain here, get the res kids hooked, make you some money." Jacob joked. We both laughed at the fake speculative look in his eye.

Angela suddenly nudged me, and I looked to her, then across to where she was staring.

"—tide pools?" Tyler asked everyone. About three people raised their hands. "And who wants to stay here?" the rest put up their hands.

"We could split up." Mike offered. Lauren was the one who made my decision for me. She didn't want to hike, and she was not wearing the appropriate shoes for it. I asked Angela and Jacob if they'd join me. Jacob said he was down, but Angela looked speculatively at Ben, a boy I'd seen her glance at before, watched him say yes to the tide pool trip, and then nodded her head.

 _B.E.N?_ I asked with sign, discreetly with my hand. She just blushed and looked away. I laughed and rubbed her shoulder encouragingly. "Go get him tiger." I whispered into her ear.

Jacob, Mike, Jessica, Angela and Ben came to see the tide pools too. I had to watch each step I took carefully, avoiding roots and branches on my way, so everyone except for Jacob sped away in front of me.

"Sorry I suck at hiking." I sighed as I tripped into a tree, scraping my hand slightly.

"I've been hiking these woods since I was like three. I'm fine taking it slow, and I generally know where to duck." He held back a tree branch for me and I smiled at him.

"Show off." I chuckled. He smiled too, and we finally broke through the trees.


	21. Chapter 21

The tide was low, and there were a variety of scattered pools. I was infinitely glad I brought my thick jeans, as they protected my legs as I scraped my way up and down, scrambling over the rocks to find the best pools. I caught my wrist as I lowered myself to a ledge over a particularly large and shallow pool containing a myriad of anemones, sea stars, snails, hermit crabs, some seaweeds, and a few striped fish. A small part of my mind tried to imagine what Edward would be saying if he were here. I cleared it from my mind and focused on the pool and its colours. There was a large rock crab, which Jacob grabbed expertly, holding onto the carapace in such a way that it's claws couldn't get to him. The crab settled relatively quickly in his hands.

"They're pretty chill little guys. I wouldn't pick up the baby ones though, they can be vicious. It's like the older ones don't care anymore."

"Story of my life man." I laughed. Jake dropped the crab back into the pool with a grin. We watched the striped fish weave in and out of the sea weeds, and I didn't notice the time flying by. Jacob seemed content to be quiet and hang with me, which I appreciated. A small splash in front of me, caused by a rock thrown my way caught my attention. I looked up at him.

"The others are heading back, you want to go?" he asked. I looked around at the rocks and all of my friends had indeed left. I could see Angela and Ben disappear into the forest in front of us.

"Sure! Sorry I blanked out there. I didn't mean to ignore you or anything." I didn't want to alienate one of the only friends I truly wanted to be around.

"Can't hear me if I've said nothing. It's relaxing to be here, you know? Nice to be quiet." We scrambled back to the forest and I earned myself another scratch, on the same wrist as last time. Jacob kept pace with me again, quiet, or occasionally piping up with some clarification questions.

"Can I ask something?"

"You can ask." I mirrored Edward's words from our conversation a few days ago.

"What would my name be, in sign language?" he asked, quieter than before. I still heard him, but I realised he'd probably kept it quieter because of my earlier apprehensions. I spelled Jake to him slowly, and he repeated it.

"There's an app you could look up if you want to learn the alphabet, and some basic signs." I offered. Jacob laughed heartily.

"Dude, I'm a broke sixteen year old who gets paid for car work in cookies. I don't have a cell phone that can do app stuff. I wish."

"Well I could find you a book or something I guess." I mused.

"Or we could just hang out again sometime and you can drill me," he shot back quickly.

"Sounds like a plan. Maybe next time Charlie comes down." I said, unthinkingly.

"So every day?" Jacob chuckled. I laughed too.

"Right… We'll figure out a day." I promised. A thought popped into my head. "What about Rachel and Rebecca? I didn't think to ask before."

"Rachel got a scholarship, and Rebecca married a Samoan surfer, lives in Hawaii now. They both high-tailed it out of the res as soon as they could. Something about world travels." Jacob shrugged.

"Well I'm fine coming down to hang with you, I'm not really the most social of people." It would be nice to hang out with him again. He was like Angela, very easy and no pressure. He also knew my little secret without me even trying, and seemed to not care in the slightest. I guess I was 200% success rate on that count. Wayyyy better than Phoenix. Jacob seemed happy with my statement, and we continued in silence.

When we got back to the beach group, we saw that our group had doubled in size. From afar, it looked as though Jacob had multiplied himself. They were mostly copper-skinned, dark-haired, teenagers, hanging around the fire, looking very at ease on the beach, socialising. Food was being passed around, and Eric introduced all of us as we came in. Jacob needed no introduction, merely nodding to his friends.

I sat down between Angela and Jacob again, and the three of us ate in relative quiet compared to the laughing and jostling around me. The clouds had begun to close in, and scattered across the sky in a threatening manner. I stared up at them, wishing them away for a little while longer. Suddenly Angela nudged me and pointed towards Jessica and Lauren.

"How do you know Bella, Jacob?" Lauren was asking, in what I imagined was an insolent tone.

"We've sort of known each other since I was born. Our dads are friends." He supplied.

"How nice." Her face completely disagreed with her words. I bit my tongue unappreciatively. I wasn't sure I liked her sudden interest in my affairs, especially not since she seemed to be attacking my new/old friend. I missed a part of her speech as she turned her head to gesture towards Tyler "-bad none of the Cullens could come out today." Her abrupt change in topic had me confused, and even more annoyed than before. Was she going to attack all of my friends in one conversation? My thoughts were cut off when the oldest of the native boys stepped forward. He was much older than the rest, probably a year older than me, and his voice boomed like Jacob's did. It was rougher and deeper sounding though.

"You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" I looked quickly back to Lauren.

"- do you know them?" she was saying with disinterest. I snapped my eyes back to the man.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said, in a way that closed the subject and offered no chance to revive it. It may have been my imagination, but the way he said it made it sound as though they weren't allowed to come here at all. Why could that be? Surely the Quileute tribe didn't know about Edward's – and possibly all of his siblings' – super speed and strength. Or did they? Was that the reason? Or was there something else. My mind was teeming with questions when Jacob interrupted my ponderings.

"You moved from Phoenix right, is Forks driving you insane yet?"

"Oh I'd say that's an understatement." I laughed. I suddenly had a bolt of inspiration. Jacob seemed to look at me in the same way that Mike, and sometimes Eric and Tyler, had. The teenage boy attracted to teenage girl kind of way. Normally I tried to ignore it and continue on, but maybe today – if I was right, I could use it to my advantage.

"Want to walk down the beach to the fallen sequoia tree? I asked. Jake nodded enthusiastically, and we began to move away, as the others had done. I began to try and think my way through the line of questioning I was about to bring up. We walked north, and the sky darkened slightly, as the clouds finally closed over the sun. I pulled the jacket I had tied around my waist when we hit the tide pools, onto my frame.

"So you said you're what, seventeen now?" I asked, being a little generous with my guess.

"I just turned sixteen actually," he confessed, flattered.

"Really?" I tried to look shocked. "I definitely don't recall you being that much younger than me. You certainly don't look it." Maybe I was pushing a little too hard. Reign in the flattery Bella.

"I'm tall for my age," he shrugged in a proud way.

"Who was that other boy Lauren was talking to? He looked older than even me, the secret ancient one." I smiled, trying to look at Jacob the way I'd seen Jessica look through her eyelashes at Mike.

"Oh that's Sam. He's also nineteen, oh so ancient one." He bowed mockingly. I nudged him gently, scrunching my nose up.

"Yeah well he acts old. I'm not like him. I always feel like I'm the same age as my friends." I tried to reassure him that I was more with him than with Sam. "Besides, he seemed grumpy. What was that he said about the doctor's family? I'm not sure I caught it all."

"He said the Cullens don't come to La Push." Jacob filled in helpfully, and awkwardly. He looked like he didn't like where this was headed. "They aren't supposed to come on the reservation."

"Why not?" I tried to ask nonchalantly, but I wasn't sure if my tone sounded as desperate as I felt.

"I'm really not supposed to say." Jacob hesitated.

"I won't tell anyone, besides I was just curious." I paused. "As I said, Sam was grumpy, and I just wanted to know what was messing with his cornflakes." I smiled, trying to make it alluring, and started to climb up onto the huge driftwood tree we had gotten to. Jake climbed with me, and sat facing me. He looked allured, and speculative.

"Do you like scary stories?" he asked, looking more confident, and just a little bit defiant. Teenage boys were definitely universal rebels.


	22. Chapter 22

_**AN EDITED: Hey guys – okay first off – a whole lotta you were weirded out by Bella 'flirting' with a 15 year old. 4 year age gap too much for you guys? I went back and changed it to 16 to shut the flamers up. My arguments of 'literally just a conversation between family friends' seems to be inefficient. Besides the point - I kept Jake young because I want to get out of the love triangle that SM wrote. There is no Jacob hating here, and he will of course get a happy ending, but his and Bella's relationship will be a normal friendship. We clear? Good. Tonight there should be another (Real) chapter update.**_

"I love scary stories," I beamed back at him, while he crossed his legs and balanced on the tree. I did the same, and we leaned in close, conspiratorially. The wind was picking up slightly, and it was getting darker with the overcast sky. I could hear only the static sound of the ocean, and Jacob's voice. It was very eerie, like we were the only two people on earth. Jacob stared at the spider-like roots of the tree. I could tell he was composing his thoughts, trying to determine how to begin. I could see he was going to try and make this good.

"Do you know any of the old stories about where we came from? My tribe the Quileutes I mean?" he started. His voice was lower, and he was making it more dramatic. He could totally freak children out with this. I shook my head at his question. "Well there are lots of legends, some of them dating back to an ancient flood. Others claim that we were descended from wolves, and related to them still. Spirit warriors being able to change into and communicate with them. It's against our laws to kill wolves because of it. Then, there are the legends about the cold ones."

"Cold ones?" I asked, not faking trepidation. The way he'd said it felt electrifying, as if I needed to hang onto every word coming out of his mouth.

"According to legend, they've been around since the time of the wolves, and even as recently as my great grandfather. Supposedly, he knew them then, and set up a treaty so that we wouldn't cross each other's borders and territories. Keep em off our land." He rolled his eyes.

"Your great grandfather?" I asked.

"He was a tribal elder, same as my dad, and one day me I guess. Anyway, he had to make a treaty with the cold ones, because normally the Spirit warriors that turn into wolves are their enemy."

"Spirit wolf warriors meaning werewolves?" I asked clarifying.

"Yep. You'd call them that."

"Werewolves have enemies?"

"Only one." His voice dropped again and he looked gravely serious. The wind chose that moment to shoot an icy gust of spray towards us from the beach. I shivered and stared at him. "So you see, the cold ones are traditionally our enemies, but this pack that came during my great grandfather's time was different. They claimed not to hunt the way others of their kind did. So my great grandfather concocted a truce with them. They'd stay of our lands, and we wouldn't expose their existence to…" he stopped and grinned at me. "To the pale faces."

I rolled my eyes dramatically at him. "Nothing really scary about that."

"Oh I'm not done. The cold ones my great grandfather met had names. When we heard that the Cullens were moving to town we thought maybe descendants of the original beings had come back. But it gets weirder than that. The people who moved back into your town were not descendants of the people he'd met so long ago. They _were_ the beings he'd met." Jacob finished with an evil gleam in his eye, looking at me. He must've thought the expression I had on my face was fear about the stories. The hair was raised on my arms. If that was true, how old were they? How many times had they already lived here? And what were they? It had to be true though, the speed, the strength, the stillness, the golden-black eyes, it was uncanny and needed some kind of explanation.

"What exactly are the Cullens then?" I asked, trying to make sure my voice didn't quaver.

"Well it's said that they knew about Carlisle even before you pale faces settled here permanently, and then he brought three others the next time. Now there are two more. All with the same story, and all with the same appetite." He paused, and his dark brown eyes looked straight into mine. "Blood drinkers. You'd call them vampires."

My foot slipped slightly and I nearly fell off the log. Jacob was thrilled and I swear to god he giggled.

"Sorry. I got really wrapped up in the story. Super eerie. You're really good." I tried to play off my chills nonchalantly.

"Pretty crazy stuff though right? My dad seriously believes every word." He shook his head, and then suddenly burst out laughing. "I guess I just violated the treaty. Be prepared for an all out vamp-wolf war."

I laughed too. "I won't tell anyone. You're keeping my secret, and I'll keep this one."

"Your secret age?" he checked, "Or your secret hearing loss?"

"I guess you are one up on me for that. Spill something else, so we're even." I joked, hoping my voice was normal. I'd need time to think over and process the information I'd just been given.

"Hell no. You're older, so it's automatically easier for you to keep secrets. Maturity and shit." He jabbed.

"Language Jake." I scolded. Suddenly his head whipped to the left, and after a beat mine followed. Mike and Jessica were there, obviously yelling something at me.

"What are they going on about?" I asked, as I looked back toward Jacob.

"They're calling you in. Everyone's getting ready to leave I guess." He filled me in. We hopped off the log together and I took great care not to face plant. We walked silently for a while.

"Need a ride back?" I asked, since I had kidnapped him here.

"Nah, I'll hitch with Sam or Paul." He gestured towards the two oldest boys again. They were looking out towards the ocean. "It was fun hanging with you today Bella."

"You too Jake. Don't be a stranger okay? If your dad ever swings by Charlie's I mean."

"Pfft. What's there to do in Forks? At least here I've got the beach." He opened his hands at the expanse behind us. I smiled again. Jake was a great personality. Exactly like me in the quips and sarcasm. We'd be great friends.

"At least I'll see you next when Angela brings her car down. Wouldn't miss those cookies for the world man." I waved goodbye as he laughed, and I got into my truck. This time Angela grabbed shotgun. On the way home we were quiet, Angela's voice did not have the loud boom that Jacob's did, so I couldn't hear her over the thrum of the car engine. When I pulled up at her house though we made sure to talk. I asked her about Ben, and she admitted that she had a crush on him, but she wasn't entirely sure it was going to get her anywhere.

"What? Why?" I signed as I talked, as she loved to practice with me. She didn't answer me with words, but with signs.

 _I'm too tall._

I blinked a couple of times at her.

"That's it? That's the reason you don't think he'll want to date you? Ignoring the fact that you're beautiful, smart, funny and kind," I emphasised each adjective with the appropriate sign. It slowed down my speech slightly because I wanted her to see the breaks between signs. "You're an incredible person, Angela."

She shrugged slightly and made to leave the truck. I stopped her quickly. She definitely looked as though she didn't want to discuss it .

"Have I given you a name-sign yet?" I asked quickly, frantically searching my memory. She looked at me, her interest diverted.

"Name-sign?" she turned back towards me in interest. "Is that what my actual name would be in words instead of spelling it out?"

"Yeah it is. Problem is, there isn't really an easy way to go about it. It's sort of like – have you ever seen the movie 'Dances with Wolves'?" I watched her nod. "Yeah, well it's like that where you have to earn a name, and be named by someone in the deaf community."

"So what's your name?" She asked, intrigued. I chuckled.

"I have two. I don't like the one, and my name has a dual meaning, so I use the other." I started explaining and signing. I had been given a name in which the letter 'B' was used, and circled across my face in a similar way to 'beautiful'. That was the uncomfortable one. "I'm not a fan of that one, so I use the sign for bell instead." I rang the imaginary bell in the sign and she smiled and copied both of my names.

"I like both of them." Angela said, smiling. "Well what would mine be then?"

"I was playing with this actually." I signed 'kind-hearted' with an 'A' hand to start. It was easy to do, and unique enough, and very fitting for her. I explained a little as I went. "It's a combination of the first letter of your name and the best trait about you."

"And what's the trait?" she asked shyly.

"I'll let you figure that one out." I laughed gently, hugging her and starting up my truck engine again. She waved goodbye, and headed back into her home. As I drove back to my house I had a lot to think about. My thoughts started with Angela and her insecurity, and ended with Jacob's earlier revelations about the Cullen family. And I thought my day would be a normal one.


	23. Chapter 23 - Alice

**AN: Sorry - I got distracted thinking about our favourite little Pixie's take on a few things. This will be one of two :D**

 **Alice Pt 1**

I lay on the bed, delicately fingering Jasper's hair. He had his eyes closed, shirt off, relaxing on the bed. I sat cross legged with his head in my lap. We had been sitting like this every night since Edward had departed so abruptly to Alaska. It helped him, to be absorbed in my emotions, and it helped my emotions to have him at rest in my lap. So we sat, or lay in his case. Mediocre futures flitted across my sight, and I was relaxing in my routine. Watching teachers decide on class structures and homework assignments, or students planning ordinary events like prom, or even the hospital making Carlisle's shift schedule, was a regular and peaceful part of my evening. Sometimes I would mutter things to Jazz if I found it interesting, or let Carlisle know his shifts if the schedule had been printed. Mostly we sat in silence, ignoring the faint murmurs of the other two couples in the house. This past week everyone had been forlorn. Even Rose, who fought with Edward more than she talked with him, was morose and somber. The departing of a family member in distress was not a happy time for any of us. Jazz frowned slightly, and I went back to focusing on his hair.

"Sorry." I said, realising I had gotten caught up in my thoughts and feelings about Edward's absence. Jasper merely smiled and let a wave of reassurance tumble across me. I nodded that he stand, and I grabbed my wool pile, and the mostly-finished coat I had for Esme.

"Do you mind?" I asked shyly. I knew he'd say yes, obviously, but I loved watching him pull his 'Southern Soldier' routine.

"Anything to help a lady, ma'am," he smiled with a short bow, and put on the coat. I wound the fabric delicately with my fingers and needles, working methodically to achieve the length I wanted. I wasn't working as fast as I could be, but I also didn't want to mess anything up even once. I kept an eye on every stitch and weave I made just before I made them to make sure. It was very mentally taxing. I was nearing the first pleat at the back when suddenly a wall of white was in front of my face.

I looked around, trying to figure out where I was and Edward's head popped out of the snow bank in front of me. Tanya appeared from the opposite side of the snow bank, previously obscured. They were continuing a conversation of some kind.

"I think you will go back. No matter who, or what it is you are running from. You'll face it head on. You're the type." Tanya said, putting her hands on her hips and looking accusingly at him. Edward stood slowly, letting snow fall softly off his shoulders, he gently kissed her cheek, pulling back with an almost instantaneous swiftness when she tried to turn her head towards the kiss. She smiled ruefully and playfully at him.

"Thank you Tanya, I think I needed to hear that." Edward looked towards me, but not actually at me, as I was not here. He was looking speculatively towards – was it the south?

"If you leave before I return, then I wish you well Edward. With whatever this is you are battling." Tanya laughed, rubbing his shoulder affectionately. She began to walk away.

"Goodbye Tanya." Edward nodded. He began to walk towards me. I – for lack of a better word – fast-forwarded, to the point where I could see him in Carlisle's car, driving through Canada, and then again as he hit the Vancouver border crossing. He was coming home.

"Yay!" I squealed, dropping my handful of wool and the needle. Jasper began to take off the coat. ""No you can't take it off yet – I have to fix the hem." I scolded, and dashed away. I knew my excitement and the family's lift in spirits would more than outweigh any embarrassment Jazz felt at having to come out with Esme's coat on.

I am sure my relief and elation was doubled by Jasper's immediate sensing and his own response and "Edward has made the decision to come home." I called to the listening ears. Three happy exclamations, and one 'about time' from a certain blonde rang through the stillness.

"That's wonderful news Alice." Carlisle began. Another flash in front of my eyes showed him asking me if I knew when.

"He'll be home Saturday morning at." I decided to check my phone for the date and time of his arrival, and then watched myself do it hours from now, "1:37."

Jasper sighed slightly, no doubt in relief at the release of negativity, and I scrolled forward in Edward's future. There he was, stubborn looking as always, driving us to school in the morning. "And it seems as though he'll be in school Monday too. I'm not as sure about that possibility, but the two visions came hand-in-hand, so to speak." It was very solidified and linked to the previous one of his arrival. He must have decided to go back to school, and coming home was the first step of that decision. I would probably have to scan his future more thoroughly to see what exactly he had planned. But as I hadn't even seen the catalyst for his abrupt departure, I doubted I could make much of a difference yet. I followed my feet upstairs, mildly paying attention to the boys bickering.

Suddenly I was sitting in my room, watching myself and Jasper on our bed. I was showing him the American Sign Language alphabet, and I began to go through simple conversational signs. I suppose Jazz had chosen ASL after he'd finished with his Japanese. I put it out of my mind in the meantime, waited for my devilishly charming mannequin to reappear, and began finishing Esme's coat again.

At 1:36 I dashed downstairs, ready to argue with Edward. To me, he looked like a new man. He had a resolve on his face that I'd come to recognize. It was the reason he and Rosalie didn't get on very well; they were both stubborn. He was going to face this, whatever it was, head on. He dropped Carlisle's car keys in the glass bowl by the front entrance and put his hands in his pockets. Still shy, and probably feeling a little guilty, he waited for one of us to say something. As soon as I saw his forlorn and peaceful face I amended my decision and went for a hug instead. I headed straight towards him, watching him scrunch his nose slightly in distaste as I jumped up, wrapping my arms and legs tightly around his body, thinking fiercely at him.

 _You were going down some dangerous paths with that girl before you left._

"I know Alice."

 _I couldn't do anything, stop anything, couldn't help you, and then suddenly you leave before even letting me find you?_

"Yes and I'm sorry about that too."

 _You scared me half out of my mind._

"Well it wasn't my intention."

 _You going to tell the others everything? Including what you saw of yourself in my visions?_

"Yes probably."

 _You really wouldn't have gone through with it you know. You're too strong._

"No, I don't think I could have."

 _I know you. Better than you do sometimes. Now everyone else is dying for their chance to yell at you…_

"Of course, you're right." He looked down at me, the prolonged contact finally too much for him and I sighed, returning to Jazz. Edward nodded to all of us, hearing private words of greeting, and probably questions. He suddenly surprised everyone, by walking over to Carlisle and Esme and gently, quickly, hugging them both. In that fleeting moment, I saw a quick glimpse of Jasper and Edward going on a hunt.

"Thank you all…. And yes Jasper, that's probably a good plan." He disappeared upstairs for a moment and returned in camping gear. Jasper followed his example, and the two boys disappeared to hunt. When I could tell they were out of range of Edward's mind, I answered what little I could for the others.

"He'll be back soon. Jasper is going to talk a little sense into him, and he's going to explain to us what's been going on. I won't share any of what I have seen yet. Again, that's his decision. Though at least right now, I can promise you that when they get back we'll all be around the dining room table and having an active family discussion.


	24. Chapter 24 - Alice

**Alice Pt 2**

I tried to look ahead to the family meeting, but the only detail I could identify concretely was that there was going to be one. I wanted to spy on Jasper and Edward, but I refrained. I was probing too much into their privacy. Instead I tried to focus on what would happen at school tomorrow with the new girl. I could definitively see both her and Edward making it until biology class. And then nothing. For either of them. I made an unladylike sound and then decided to stop trying to see. I focused on weather instead, and waited patiently. Suddenly, the family discussion we'd all been about to have upon the return of the two hunters disappeared. The boys had gone further out, instead of doubling back, as was their original plan. Now I watched them rush in, change clothing, and dash back out almost as suddenly, headed for the Volvo.

"They won't be back for a talk before school. Edward and Jasper will barely make it before they have to turn around and leave again." I announced into the empty house from my room. I received no direct responses, but I heard the mutterings between couples. I would have to interrogate them at school. Or be patient. I hated being patient. I got myself ready for school, set out some clothing for Jasper, and then went to Edward's room, his bachelor like living room finally showing signs of gentle use, and set out an outfit for him too. Rose could handle her and Emmett.

I sat, picking wool fragments off of the floor, until it was spotless, and until it was time to leave. I danced downstairs, opening the door just in time to let Edward and Jasper through. Jazz kissed my cheek gently on the way through, and I continued dancing at a human speed towards the car. Rose and Emmett soon joined me, and finally the other boys had too. We all got into the Volvo and as we sped to school I perused Jasper's future, Edward's future, and what little I could of Isabella Swan.

It was snowing by just before lunch. As I watched Isabella's immediate future I saw her glance over at our table, and walk into another one. Isabella limped – while trying not to limp – to her lunch table, and laid her head down to rest. Two minutes after she glanced towards our table again, and I watched as we all looked boringly statuesque. I could very easily fix that vision for sure, discreetly grabbing a handful of slush I entered the cafeteria and sat with my siblings at our regular table. We were arguing loosely over the ethics of causal murder in low undertones, Rose and Jazz vehemently for doing anything to protect the family, Emmett indifferent, Esme and Carlisle would of course be on the side of life, and I was silent. Still watching. This afternoon would tell all really. If Edward managed not to kill her today, then there was hope.

I watched from the corner of my eye as the girl hit the table, and limped to her seat. Edward watched in concerned fascination. There was something more to this than just the smell of her blood. I was sure of it. He was holding something back, but as he hadn't decided to tell anyone I couldn't see. He looked extra frustrated somehow when he looked at her. Maybe he was just extra annoyed at whatever it was her thoughts betrayed. Edward flinched slightly, and looked determinedly towards the rest of us. As Isabella rested her head against the table. I threw the handful of slush into Emmett's hair, and in retaliation he leaned back towards me, shaking the slush back onto me, and unfortunately dousing Rosalie as well. We all laughed, and no one except for Edward realised how perfectly planned this seemingly candid moment was. I held up my tray as a shield from the worst of the moisture, while Rosalie scowled menacingly at Emmett. Edward smiled a little forcefully, and looked back at the girl once her attention was diverted.

We all tried to be normal, while all listening in on the girl's conversation.

"Bella," Jessica Stanley began in a rather contrite voice. "What are you staring at?" she looked towards us, seeing Rosalie wiping moisture off of her blouse, and Emmett idly stacking jello containers from our lunch trays. She also undoubtedly saw Edward's gaze on Isabella.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." She informed the girl.

"He doesn't look angry does he?" Isabella asked in response.

"Pfft. Nice bro. Clearly not very subtle are you?" Emmett chuckled. Edward didn't even respond.

"No. Why would he?" Jessica asked the girl.

"I think I jabbed him with a pencil in biology," she offered, as a means of explanation. We all looked confusedly at Edward but he just chuckled darkly, at an inside joke apparently. Nothing else happened in the lunch hour, except for what I already knew. Everyone was headed to class, and for the first time in my life, I was worried about Edward accidentally committing murder at school, instead of Jasper. I decided to skip my after lunch class. I would be a body guard if Edward needed, being right outside the classroom where I wouldn't be seen, and watching the future as though lives depended on it.

I watched Edward begin his awkward small talk, watching disconcertingly close in the future, so that everything around me occurred in a one second delay to what I was seeing. It was like the delay you get with subtitles on a television, still current, but ever so slightly lagged. And suddenly she asked about his eye colour, and my entire vision changed. Where before things had been balancing grimly and gently on the border between life and death, we had suddenly jumped off of the fence and into a pool of clarity. He would continue talking to her. Day after day. I saw dozens of biology classes pop up and into my existence, the two of them side-by-side. I started to relax again, looking in on Jazz. He was fine, very wrapped up in looking out of the window towards the biology building. I looked further into my own future and I saw me going through the ASL alphabet with Emmett. Why on earth had we all taken up ASL in the near future? I couldn't tell when exactly, but more of us seemed to be jumping on the ASL train. I could only assume it had something to do with a decision made today. The decision Edward made to keep Bella alive? That somehow lead to sign language lessons. The visions were hazy, and limited, like I was watching in the surface of a sink, instead of being submersed in a pool, but they were there. It was interesting to say the least. Something to ponder for sure.

…

That night we heard Edward's full story, and I added in the partial visions I had seen about him potentially murdering her. The others were instantly wary, and offered suggestions, most of which Edward vetoed, as most of which involved Bella Swan's life ending. It was a long and heated and repetitive discussion that had Carlisle very quiet. Finally we all looked to him for the final word. I saw what was coming and therefore so did Edward. We both relaxed a little as he began speaking.

"For now, we pose the larger threat to this girl than she does to us. If Edward believes he can withhold himself, show the restraint that he believes he can, then I see no reason to act now. He was able to not act on impulse when at his thirstiest, and so with adequate preparatory measures, he will be more than able to control himself. I must have faith in my family. So should you all." Carlisle stood, Esme at his side, and dismissed himself. The others filed out. I asked Edward to stay mentally.

"Alice." Edward nodded towards me, indicating that I should begin the conversation.

 _I can't see what will happen._

"I know."

 _Every day you'll want to kill her. Every second._

He merely rubbed his temples with his fingers.

 _Although I will admit, I am getting some strange futures popping up. It's very blurry, but some things are still there._ I showed him a vision, of him, coming through the front entranceway, laughing at something. Not his normal laugh, the quiet chuckle, but a throaty and hearty laugh. Present Edward's brow merely furrowed.

 _I doubt you'd be that happy after a murder._

 _"_ I suppose we'll see."


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: And we're back to Bella!**

I went home that night and tried not to think about what Jacob had told me. According to his legends, the Cullens weren't just odd, they were vampires. Something I'd seen in storybooks, and movies. Always a scary villain in a dark cape, with an insatiable appetite, and always defeated by sunlight and garlic. It seemed completely unrealistic to me. Especially since all of the Cullens were frequently out in the daytime, and I'd never taken stock with the garlic thing. But they did look, well… dead. The purple bruises under their eyes, the skin so white in pallor that even I, the palest person I knew, was literally no comparison. When Edward had pinned me to the ground I felt no warmth from his breath as he spoke to me. There were times in biology class where I could swear he didn't even breathe. And his eyes were unnatural. They fluctuated between gold and black, neither colour normal, and the shift in colours certainly wasn't. But did that all matter? He'd been observant enough to figure out my little secret when most of the friends I spent every day with hadn't, and then he'd kept it, trying to make it as easy for me as possible. Selflessly changing his speech, even his physical body placement to ensure that I could read him. He'd also whisked me away to the nurse like I was a damsel in distress when I was ill, even though normally he could barely stand to be near me, let alone touching me. He'd walked miles in the pouring rain to ensure I got home safely too. He didn't seem evil. His father was a doctor for heaven's sake, saving lives in the hospital, surrounded by blood at all times.

I mulled all of these thoughts over as I hit my bed early. I was extremely restless, but also extremely exhausted. My brain was buzzing with activity, but my body wanted to collapse. I lay there, trying to fall asleep for what felt like forever. When I eventually did manage to coax myself into sleep, my dream had changed.

 _I was in a car, but we were driving through a forest. Jacob was driving, like a maniac, frantically looking over his shoulder, as if we were fleeing something. I heard an icy cold, musical laugh and suddenly Edward Cullen was in the road in front of us. Jacob wasn't swerving, looking instead like he was determined to run him over with the car. I leaned over, grabbed the wheel and yanked it towards me. We cartwheeled in the air, my hair spinning around my face as the world around us turned into a green blur. I felt a sharp pain in my leg, and suddenly my world went black. I woke upside down, staring at the pool of red liquid gathering on what I ascertained to be the roof of the car._

A part of me, that knew I was dreaming, was instantly scared and confused. Although this was exactly what had happened to me, my dreams rarely re-lived the entire event. Apparently I would not be so lucky tonight.

 _I could feel a warm wetness dripping down my throat, landing on the underside of my chin. I tried not to think about it while I worked on getting myself free. I didn't look over at the driver. I didn't want to see her, dead, hanging lifeless from her seatbelt. And then my dream-self recalled that it was not Sarah who sat beside me, but Jacob. I glanced towards him, and his straight ebony hair was shrouding his face. I would have probably not known if he were alive or not, until I noticed that his airbag had not deployed, and in its place, the shaft of the steering column had rammed his chest. Just like Sarah. As I turned my head to look back at my seatbelt, I saw my leg. My femur was sharp, white, and jabbing out from my thigh, and into my abdomen, where my legs were curled up. Blood was dripping down onto my face, and into my mouth. The taste of the warm coppery liquid turned my stomach and I vomited. The scene was made even more horrific, as everything pouring out of my mouth was a bright crimson red._

I woke this time, throwing myself sideways as I hurled onto the floor. There was some liquid, but it was mostly air my stomach tried to force up. I was immensely grateful I had skipped dinner. During my heaving, my leg spasmed, and I toppled from my all fours position sideways (narrowly missing my ejected stomach contents) into the fetal position. I lay there for a few minutes with my eyes closed, breathing forcefully through my mouth. Gross. Not the most ideal way to start the morning. Head spinning, stomach heaving, and a clean up on aisle four.

I pushed myself up, found the cleaning supplies in the supply closet at the top of the stairs, and began cleaning up my mess. When I was done, I cleaned myself, taking a very long and hot shower. I went downstairs afterwards, and ate a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. Oatmeal was such a sturdy and stomach-calming food. It was an extremely pleasant day outside, so I figured I'd try that exhaustively long run again. My leg could use the strengthening. As I started getting into my running gear, I realised that because it was actually quite sunny and warm, I could probably get away with shorts and a t-shirt. I donned them, feeling like I was back in Phoenix, and began my run.

…

Thump thump thump. My heart pounded in my ears and I went, directionless down the street. I made sure to stick to the asphalt, which was least deadly to my coordination efforts. I watched the road, dry - for once - black, and sparkling, as I ran. My feet thudded against the pavement and my leg started to burn.

"Deal with it." I huffed. I was not in the best mood today. As I continued to run I lost track of everything. I was thinking about Edward Cullen. What would I say? Or would I even say anything? I clearly didn't care. If he'd been that much of a threat to me, he obviously wouldn't be running around pulling vans off of me. If he truly did drink blood, that might explain another thing. He always seemed to lean further away from me when I blushed, which unfortunately, due to numerous clumsy incidents and mis-hearings, I did quite frequently. Perhaps the anger I had perceived as coming from him that first day in Biology was not anger at all, but restraint of hunger. Or thirst. Whatever the vampire equivalent was.

I didn't realise how far I'd run, until I looked around and realised that I had no idea where I was. I slowed my run, and walked around for a bit to cool down, trying to think about the route I'd taken. There were a few turns, but I thought I could follow it back. I began walking back the direction I came, confused by the forest around me, and was like that for what I guessed was about an hour, when I came across a little hitch. There was a fork in the road. I was standing at the start of two streets. Had I come down the left fork, or the right? I patted my pocket for my phone, and then realised that in my haste to enjoy the sunshine it was probably sitting by the door.

"Shit."

I decided that since I thought I had headed south, the left fork looked more promising. I only needed to bump into a house, or a car of some kind. Ask for directions. I took up a jog, as the trees were so tall here, the light was dim, green and eerie. I was just starting to lose hope that I would find another human being when I suddenly found a store. I ran across the parking lot to the window and realised it was the Newton's Sporting Goods store. And it was closed. Judging by the hours posted on their door, that meant it was after 3. Surely there'd be a phone around somewhere. A payphone? I walked around the store, finding nothing. Should I wait here? Surely that would be an easy landmark for someone to find me. But how long would it be until someone came looking? I could handle this. I definitely hadn't noticed the store on the way in, so I could back-track to the fork. Or was I even sure of that?

"Shit." I muttered again.

I looked around and thought hard. Well, I knew that the store was close to the highway. I'm sure I'd be able to hear it if I could. But which way? I began to run in the middle of the road further away from the fork I had come from. My legs were beginning to shake with exhaustion but I knew that I would clear more ground if I ran. The shadows of the trees started to engulf the road more as I ran, and I started to think that I was definitely going the wrong way when my leg gave out. I hit the asphalt hard, rolling to soften the impact. I lay on my back for a second in the road and then realized how dangerous that was for someone who couldn't hear. I brushed myself off but noted that I had scraped up my knee and arm relatively noticeably. Shorts and t-shirt wasn't feeling like such a good idea now.

I continued on for a little more, deciding to count to a hundred before turning back but my pace was now slowed by my stiff and sore knee. I was starting to feel super lost, and I was on the verge of tears when suddenly, a black Mercedes pulled up beside me. I was so shocked I fell sideways away from it, earning what felt like a pretty fantastic bruise on my hip. The car stopped and out of the driver's seat popped Doctor Carlisle Cullen. He rushed over, concerned.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry I didn't mean to start you." He probably said startle, but I had the gist.

"Yeah, no I'm fine. I was kinda weak anyway. Been running for – well, all day I guess." I admitted. I was still sitting on the ground, but now that my legs were no longer supporting my weight, they were kind of screaming at me. They felt jelly like, and I could feel a tremor starting. Exactly how far had I run? Doctor Cullen looked over my scrapes with a critical eye.

"Did I do that?" he asked, worried.

"Nope, I fell before you drove up too. I'm accident prone." I reassured him. His eyes darted towards the woods, back to the direction from which he came, then settled on me. He offered a hand and I took it, marveling at the fact that it felt like icy stone as he tried to pull me up. He succeeded, but my legs didn't particularly feel like letting me be vertical anymore. I ended up falling towards him before he'd even let go of my hand. He slipped his arm under both of mine and lifted.

"Apparently my legs don't want to cooperate right now." I joked. "My adrenaline is probably up, I definitely was starting to panic about being lost."

"I can help you there, you're actually quite close to the highway, but you're very far out of town. I'm surprised you ran out this far to be honest." He said, loudly and clearly as he hoisted me up, against the car. I rested uneasily against the shiny black vehicle that probably cost more than Charlie's house. "Would you like a ride home?" he asked, innocently as my stomach knotted in fear. Damn cars.


	26. Chapter 26

I swallowed hard.

"Doctor Cullen," I began, but he held up a hand immediately.

"Carlisle, please." He smiled warmly at me, his other hand still supporting me in case I started to slip again.

"Carlisle… I, well I don't know exactly what was in my medical file about the 'how' but you surely must have noticed the crazy amount of damage I managed to achieve about two years ago?" This was a good a time as any I suppose. And since I suspected he held a secret much greater, and more twisted than my car accident and hearing loss, I decided I might as well explain my answer before I gave it. Carlisle nodded carefully, keeping his face neutral. "Well, I was in an accident while someone else was driving. The kind of accident that should have killed us both, and has left me with some pretty fantastic nightmares. The driver… well she wasn't so lucky, but I made it out with my life. Most of it, anyway."

I took a few deep breaths, staring into the golden irises that were so unusual, so indicative of extra-worldliness, but also so calming and, old somehow. Set in a young face. A line from Romeo's spiel to Juliet popped into mind.

 _Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes, To twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head?_

How old would those stars look in a face so young? Exactly like the amber orbs staring at me patiently now. It made me want to continue, to stop wasting air getting to my point.

"I broke my femur, and it pierced straight through the skin, and into my abdomen. I had internal bleeding of all sorts, but the most critical part of that accident was that I managed to score some major brain damage, especially to the part of my brain that processes sound. I'm not entirely sure where the sound drops off, in my actual hearing, processing, or translation of sound, but somewhere along the line, a whole bunch of things just stop. It's made my life a particularly interesting struggle." I ran my free hand along my now screaming thigh muscles, which were not happy with me at all. I still hadn't gotten to my point though, and Carlisle could sense that. He was still patiently waiting, watching.

"The point is, that despite how wretchedly debilitating the entire affair was, and how limiting my loss of most of my hearing is… sometimes that all pales in comparison to my pure, unadulterated _fear_ of cars. I can get by when I'm driving, and when Charlie drives. I think mostly with him it's his avoidance of the speed limit, and other people's avoidance of him on the road. That's the only other person I can really have driving me anywhere." I stopped, looking down to the ground as a felt a blush creeping up my neck. "I don't know if Edward told you, but he offered me a ride to Seattle. I only agreed to go because he promised to let me drive us."

I waited for a while, and then looked up at his lips, in case he had been speaking softly. But his lips remained closed in a thoughtful smile as he gazed into the trees.

"Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it wasn't easy for you. I am glad that Edward was gracious enough to let you drive. Trust me when I inform you that you must be quite special to him, as he rarely hands the keys over, even to his own family members." He chuckled at that and looked back at me. "And from our discussion I can obviously conclude that you'd really rather we didn't drive anywhere together today."

"That's correct. It has nothing to do with you, or your family, or anything like that." I clarified. To this I received a wary and guarded expression, and he stiffened slightly.

"Would you mind if I were to inquire as to the wording of your reassurances?" he asked. Oops.

"Well, you all aren't exactly like the rest of us." I began. Carlisle stiffened dramatically, while trying to maintain a casual smile. I supposed those theories Jacob and his tribe had weren't all smoke and mirrors after all. "You all kind of stand out, despite your incredibly valiant and convincing efforts to blend in. I owe Edward my life, and would do anything to repay that debt, including a vow of secrecy that is driving me kind of insane. But I want you, especially as a doctor, to know that I think you're very compassionate. Doing the job you do must be an active struggle, given your – lifestyle – and the fact that you do it with such vigour, attentiveness, and kindness… It brings me happiness."

Carlisle didn't move. His eyes were darker, brooding, confused. Much like Edward's tended to be when he stared at me. In that instant they looked more similar than any time I'd seen before.

"I ended that kind of strangely I guess. I'm sorry if I've offended or worried you, but I didn't mean to." Another thought crossed my mind and I got saddened instantly. My eyes dropped to my hands as tears brimmed with the next words coming across my lips. "I also understand if Edward would rather not go with me to Seattle this coming Saturday. But I'm still looking forward to it, if he's okay with going with me."

We stood in perfect silence as he mulled over what I had told him. I looked at the car behind us.

"So I don't know if you can just give me directions home, or maybe if you could call the police station and let Charlie know where I am. That would be super helpful. But I can't get in the car with you unless I'm driving, and I refuse to drive something that costs more than my house."

I pushed away from the car, letting myself fall back towards the ground. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I knew it had to be around dinner time. Aside from Carlisle, the lack of individuals on the roads made me feel like people were busy somewhere. Either that or I had been way off the beaten path, and on back roads that I couldn't name, and would probably never find again. I sat in the green gloom that had surrounded me for hours, with the tall rainforest blocking out whatever sun I had seen in the morning. I looked up at Carlisle Cullen, who still hadn't moved since I began my little speech. He blinked once, sighed, and looked down at me. He walked towards me, and sat beside me on the dirt.

"I can of course let you use my phone to call Charlie. I can give you the closest street junction so that he can find us." He held out a small silver phone. I dialed the police station number – a number that Charlie had drilled into me forever, and I got Charlie on the phone. Carlisle ended up doing most of the talking, as I was definitely lost, but between us, I got my ride.

"ETA?" I asked.

"20 minutes Bella." Charlie said, "See you soon."

"Bye dad." I shut the phone and handed it back to Carlisle. We sat in relative silence for a short time.

"You don't have to wait with me, if you have somewhere to be." I said.

"I don't have anywhere to be at the moment," he smiled at me.

"Did you enjoy your camping trip? The weather – at least here – was actually perfect for one. It's why I went running this morning."

"I did enjoy it yes. I came home earlier than the others as I work on Monday. The rest will not be back at school until Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday." He was doing what I loved to do to people. I never realised how adept I was at spotting it before. Half-truths. Things that are true but also not, through pure omission. I wondered what about that was not quite the truth. Before I got to thinking too deeply, Carlisle asked me a question.

"Why did you run for so long today? I understand that your leg probably needs regular strengthening, but this amount of exercise is debilitating. You cannot run marathon like distances without adequate training and build-up, especially on such an injury."

"I started out running, and then I got so wrapped up in my own little world that I got completely lost. I have honestly been running around for ages trying to find my way back. Sometimes I miss the city, as there are so many landmarks and streets and signs you can use to get back to wherever you were. Here it's just green stuff, surrounded by more green stuff." I explained, shrugging my shoulders. He nodded, understandingly, and then we continued to sit in silence until I saw his head turn towards my left. I looked too, and saw Charlie's cruiser pulling up.

Carlisle stood, abruptly, pulling me gently to my feet and helping steady me over to the other car.

"I'm fine dad. Just lost, and tired from running around being lost." I reassured him, as he glared at me in annoyance and worry.

"You shouldn't run out here on your own. There are hunters, wild animals, all sorts of dangers Bells." He looked imploringly at the doctor to back him up.

"There are indeed some dangerous things running around these woods." He nodded, looking at me, his eyes and mouth sparkling with a dark humour. He let go of my arm to shake Charlie's hand, and let him know that it was no trouble at all. Before I got in the car, I called out to him again.

"Oh Carlisle? Could you pass something on to Edward for me? Tell him that technically I did what he asked of me in the note, and that I have a bone to pick with him about it when he gets back from camping." I smiled warmly, and Carlisle nodded sagely, still with a bemused and calculating expression on his face.


	27. Chapter 27 - Edward

**AN: Hah! Finally - Edward makes his appearance :P this too shall be a two-part spiel.**

 **Edward Pt 1**

Emmett, Jasper and I ran through the woods searching for predators. Emmett was particularly on the lookout for bears, as was his habit, while Jasper and I were trying to beat each other at finding a lion first. He was within my mental monitoring range, and if I lost and lied about it, he would be able to tell. It was a simple way to keep bets honest. Today I was determined to win, with a passion I rarely threw into feeding. My brothers could tell that I was distracted, my focus far away instead of on our trip, and I was trying to prove them wrong. I was running through the greenery, ignoring the scenes I normally found so distracting and beautiful. My thoughts were instead focused on a pair of deep brown eyes, set in a pale, flawless face, framed by long locks of curly brown hair. My feet slowed as I caught the scent of a predator of some kind. Was it a lion? I started lazily following the trail to the east, re-living my last few weeks in my head.

The first time I saw her I had hated her with every fiber of my being. It was as if she were the ultimate temptation. Her blood called to me as a siren lured a sailor to his demise. It was a very dark hour. Only the face of my father had kept me strong, kept me unbreathing, and unmoving, until I could safely break away. I should have left the instant I smelled her.

But I was at war.

Half of me wanted to stay, to lure her to her death, the other half wanted to run, straight to Carlisle, and Esme, the two people I could trust with such insecurity and weakness. The internal war I waged was a ferocious one, strengthened by the fact that my sister Alice, had come running to my rescue, waiting outside the classroom door if I needed her. She showed me every vision, every flip-flop of the futures I was deciding. She focused extremely on the pain our family would be caused if I did slip. The kindness, and understanding that Carlisle would show. It sickened me. I felt physically ill knowing that I could disappoint him again as I had in the years I had rebelled, and he would still welcome me back with open arms. At the moment the bell rang, the side of the faithful son was winning. I rushed out of the classroom, Alice barely at my heels, and I sped off towards the woods to cool off. It took me an hour to decide that I could switch classes, but stay in school, escape this girl in the future. Alice had stopped her pursuit, after seeing my plan.

 _Be safe._ She had called to me. I had nearly killed the Swan girl again when as I had returned to the office to switch my class, she had followed me in. The scent that pummelled me where I stood was beyond imagining, beyond description. It had taken the visualization of my father literally standing protectively in front of her for me to move beyond her. And then I had fled.

It took me a week to collect myself under the dark sky of northern Alaska. I had come back to prove to myself that I could resist the temptation she presented. To prove that I could be everything Carlisle had put faith in. I had expected to find my family confused, and to have to explain to them why I had disappeared. I had expected their support and in some cases annoyance. What I hadn't expected to find was my own insatiable curiosity. Bella Swan was a silent enigma to me. A quick-witted, strangely responding, intelligent, selfless, mental mute. There was so much to be curious about. I had a never-ending line of questions, some arbitrary, some personal. Most were based off of observations I had made about her rather than admissions she had made herself. Most could never be answered. The first day back that we had conversed she had only left me confused, and a mentally entertained at the thought of having such a stimulating partner to talk to in biology for the rest of the year. But our second meeting was not as sweet.

I was temporarily distracted from my musings by Jasper's victorious mental voice, a lot closer geographically than I had thought he was. Damn. I had been too wrapped up in my thoughts to properly try to catch the predator that I had been inadvertently stalking towards my brother. I redirected myself further north and continued reflecting as I hunted, less efficiently now.

Our second day of contact had not been as I had planned. I had planned to continue to ask her questions, figure out her answers, try to understand the little puzzle she presented. Instead, inclement weather had mashed our fates together, potentially irreversibly. My family had arrived at school, and we were still arguing about my decision to remain in school, despite the risk of being so close to such a large temptation. I was arguing a point with Rosalie, when Alice saw a terrifying scene: Tyler Crowley's van speeding into a parking lot, hitting the ice at a terrible angle and careening off, towards Isabella Swan. My head snapped up to look at her, and I noticed immediately that she was watching me. She turned away from me, not reacting to the screeching sound of the brakes Tyler was futilely pressing, and before I realised what was happening, I was beside her, tackling her away. Although the carnage didn't end there, and before I knew it I had forced the van away with my hands, and braced, too quickly, over her to protect her from the shattered shower of glass.

 _"Are you alright, Bella?"_

 _"Pardon?"_ she had responded. Her breath hit me like a sledgehammer and I swallowed convulsively. I made it my primary directive to ensure that she was alright, and had leaned away from her, watching her eyes for signs of dilution – a good indicator of concussion. I tried to ignore my siblings as they shouted furiously in my mind. No one was particularly happy with me, but Rosalie would have murdered me where I lay on Bella given half the chance. I re-directed my thoughts to the woman beneath me.

 _"Are you alright?"_

 _"I'm fine. I honestly didn't even figure out what was happening at first."_ She had tried to wriggle away, and I held her firmly, she had hit her head on the ice, I had heard, and swore at, that crack. I did let her up when she finally admitted that she was cold. Sandwiched between a vampire and an icy asphalt was not going to be good for keeping her out of shock. My worst fears were shortly after realised. She had seen everything. She had even noticed that I was arguing with Rosalie before inexplicably teleporting to her side. She looked so determined to prove that she was right, an uncommon braveness about her. Humans rarely had the courage to stand down a vampire. It was in their genes to avoid, to agree with, to be amicable. Apparently Bella had missed that memo. She was so annoyed she threatened to bite one of the medical professionals when they reached her, something Emmett and I got a kick out of.

When we had finally gotten to the hospital, I had gone straight to Carlisle to confess. He had been open, cautious and understanding as before, and yet we were interrupted by Charlie Swan, coming to request my father look at her. I tried to give the some privacy, but as I left I noticed something I had been idiotic to overlook before. Charlie's thoughts were not clear. They were present, but it was more as though I could make out the tone, but not the actual thoughts. I could tell he was worried about Bella, grateful towards me, and almost embarrassed and nervous about talking to my father. But I couldn't tell why. If Bella's mother had a similar level of murkiness about her thoughts it may explain why Bella was invisible to my mental probes.

I had walked away, focusing on Tyler Crowley, who was annoying Bella, and the nurses that pestered her as she lay scowling at them. I had found Bella, who kept up her tirade of sarcasm and annoyance for me, while my father followed behind. His thoughts light as he skimmed her file.

 _Interesting. So much physical damage in her history. Also – Edward – please if you can, I'd rather you keep out of my thoughts for the next few minutes while I try to collect them. Focus on the others. See if anyone else saw your miraculous appearance._ I remember frowning at my father. He was not always so direct with asking me to try and not hear. He understood that it was something I couldn't turn off, but he was right about the fact that if I focused elsewhere I would be able to keep away from his thoughts. I would have to inquire as to why he wanted me to actively turn a blind eye. And then suddenly he confirmed that her x-rays were fine, and no concussion was evident. A sigh of relief I hadn't realised I was holding had escaped me. And that worried me more than anything. I surely had been wanting the opposite? Confusion due to concussion would be the easiest way to explain away her 'ignorance' of my appearance, and yet, I was relieved that I hadn't hurt her, that she was fine, and feisty, as ever.

Despite my extreme lack of focus, I managed to find the trace of a wolf pack, and followed it until I was close, lifting myself up into the trees to watch and wait for the opportune moment. I found and proceeded to hunt two down. My memories flitted to the front of my mind once my thirst was sated.

 _"Honestly, I'm fine. I'm going. I'll sleep. Thank you."_ She had dismissed my father's concern, and concentrated on me. I hadn't yet figured out what I would say. _"I would however like a quick word alone with you."_

We had walked out to the hallway, my father's mental voice urging caution and not to reveal, just to twist what she remembered if I could. I tried to redirect her attention by drawing it to her father. My attempt was extremely weak, and unsuccessful.

 _"What do you want?"_

 _"You stopped a van today. With your hands."_

 _"You hit your head. You have no idea what you're talking about."_ I had hoped with every fibre of my being that the things that made us such deadly predators would waive her resolve now. I was wrong. Particularly because she chose not to meet my eyes. Her gaze seemed fixed on my mouth, perhaps my teeth? Had I been too intimidating, baring them enough that she worried even then?

 _"Your own father just disproved that theory, there's nothing wrong with my head. I saw the dents. I saw you lift it as it came for my legs. You got over to me from across the parking lot in a matter of seconds."_

 _"Nobody will believe that you know."_

 _"I don't care, and I'm not going to tell anyone."_ She sounded more condescending than I had ever heard her before. As if I should have guessed that she wouldn't be spreading the news of my apparent teleportation and potentially her insanity. How could I possibly have known she wouldn't go and talk to her friends at lunch, telling them everything she saw – like most human females did? _"But you still owe me an explanation."_

"I saved your life. I don't owe you anything." My mouth had retorted before I could stop it. I saw the pain flicker across her face at my statement, and then her angry resolve diminished. Apparently kicking a dog while it was down did indeed work. My stomach however felt knotted in guilt. Her eyes reached mine, and she hardened again. Not angry, but logical perhaps?

 _"Fair enough,"_ she had nodded, _"But if I'm going to keep this a secret there better be a damn good reason. I want to know why I'm lying to people."_

"Well then I hope you enjoy disappointment," I stared at her imploringly, trying to convey the depth of my need for her to drop this investigation.

"Why did you even bother?"

She had left then, turning away before I could even manage a response. My first thought that responded to her question had only posed more questions in my head.

 _Because I wanted to._


	28. Chapter 28 - Edward

**AN: Me = not dead! Just overloaded with homework. But, special present, not only here is Edward pt II, but I'm going to do a part III. I rather enjoy hopping back and forth between the hunting trip and the past.**

I decided to loop back around and finish off with a few deer. My overeating habits were disgusting, and made my body feel very liquid-y and slushy. But it was necessary. Unless I felt physically ill after my hunting trips, she was too much of a temptation. My eyes darkened almost three times as quickly as they would regularly. Hunting trips were, for me, becoming more frequent than even Jasper's. I would deplete the entire Olympic Peninsula if I wasn't careful. I caught up with Emmett first as I doubled back. He had found his bears and was incessantly happy about them. We ran through the woods, Emmett following my lead, until I brought us to Jasper. He sensed my defeat and laughed.

"I don't know where your head is today, but it was far too easy to win that from you."

"I can guess where his head is." Emmett chimed. _A certain human plaguing your brain brother?_

I raised my eyebrow sarcastically at him. He rewarded me with a roar of laughter. "Thought so!"

"As much as 'bonding time' sounds like something the girls would suggest, you know we are open to any discussion." Jasper reminded me quietly, with a smirk.I rolled my head back, looking at the skies above us. I watched the slowly marching progression of clouds as I spoke.

"I don't know. This is the first time I've been so confused about something. I can't _hear_ her. I'm unaware of whether my draw to her is the curiosity, or our awful instinctual prey hoarding. Is it her blood, or her mind?" I took a breath. "At the hospital, after the van incident, she asked me why I bothered to save her."

"And?" Emmett asked, when I hadn't answered my own question.

"And I don't know. I've been reflecting and I'm not sure if I was protecting what my body deemed unnaturally mine, or if I didn't want to lose the challenge that she presented." That didn't sound like an adequate explanation, but that was all I had at the moment.

"If I could," Jasper began, softly, "The feelings I got from you in that moment weren't territorial, or as logical, as you are reflecting upon."

"Oh?" I looked at him with surprise.

"What you felt was simple. Panic. Pure, and instantaneous panic. To be honest I've never felt you have such a strong reaction to anything before."

I remained quiet as we walked, reminiscing on the family fight we'd all had the night after I'd pulled my little stunt. We'd all agreed to watch how this played out, after many hours of deliberation, and Rosalie, of all people, had been astute enough to pull from the looks that Alice and I had been exchanging that I was hiding something else about Bella Swan.

"Edward what is it you and Alice aren't saying?" She had glaringly accused. Alice had immediately bit her lip, and looked at me.

"Bella is a little unique." I had managed to say, my eyes locking on Alice's worried ones. Alice had already seen me begin to confess my inability to hear her thoughts and was waiting.

"I'm not surprised you discovered her disability, but I am curious as to how it is relevant to this conversation." Carlisle had said calmly. Everybody, myself included, had looked at him in surprise. He then looked sharply at me. His thoughts were incredibly surprised.

"Edward, you did know that she was hearing impaired didn't you? I cannot imagine such a detail escaping your notice." _You two sat beside each other in class. She can barely hear the world around her, surely you would have caught that?_

I had stood dumbfounded for a second, and then Alice piped up.

"Ohhhhh. That makes so much more sense." She pressed her fingers to her head and shook it. "I've been seeing various members of this family go through a sign language learning phase and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why."

I had stood there, completely distracted from my own impending revelation, in this new tidbit of information. I scanned my memory for any signs and signals I had missed. I found Angela Weber practising some sign language in her head and under her desk, but I hadn't connected that to Bella. Angela's commitment to note-taking, I had noticed once, when she had thought about keeping her writing neat for Bella, but I had assumed the girl had missed a class. I really could be dense. Her confusion after the accident, with so many people talking at her, what I had assumed at the time was a concussion, was simply an inability to keep up with all of the speech being directed towards her.

"I hadn't noticed it, no." I had said slowly. Rosalie had scowled, her thoughts vicious and mocking. _How could the snoop who lives inside everybody's brains not notice that?_

"First of all, Rosalie, I don't snoop, and I try not to intrude as often as I can. Second of all…" I had paused, taking a breath, and then looking towards Carlisle. "I don't hear her thoughts."

"As much as I appreciate you trying to offer those around you some privacy," Carlisle had begun, "We truly need to know the direction of this girl's thoughts after today's incident. If she suspects, or is intending on pressing the issue of your miraculous save of her, we need to know it."

As Carlisle had begun talking, I had also absorbed the thoughts of the others.

 _They don't get it yet Edward._ Alice.

 _What does he mean he doesn't hear her thoughts?_ Rosalie.

 _Now is not the time to be polite and unobtrusive_. Jasper.

"You all aren't getting it." I had snapped, perhaps a little too sharply. "I cannot hear her thoughts. I am not merely being polite. I have tried until I've given myself a headache. I am not picking up anything. Even in direct contact with her, it's like she doesn't exist. If I close my eyes and focus, there is nothing to hear."

And after a long, shocked pause, the fighting had resumed. We had all agreed to keep watch and keep distance. So I had.

"Edward." The Emmett of our present hunting trip nudged my arm, bringing my attention back to the now. I looked over to him. "Have you eaten enough? Feeling slushy yet?" _I want to bet you something._

"What did you have in mind Emmett?"

"I bet you I can catch and drain more squirrels than you in 2 minutes."

"That's disgusting." I complained, as Jasper laughed at us.

"I'll ref." Jasper offered, pushing his long jacket sleeve backward to reveal his watch.

"What are we betting?" I asked, suspiciously.

"Driving rights, as always." Emmett shrugged. "And lawn duty." It was his only chore.

"But if I win, I only get to continue driving, as I have anyway. It's only half the prize for me." I countered, smiling. Jasper sensed my mischievousness and grinned too. "I'll tell you my other condition when you lose."

Emmett scowled, good naturedly. "You're on."

Two minutes later, after too many squirrels and a few broken branches of trees, Emmett still had no driving rights, and would be doing lawn duty with scissors instead of a mower. It would bring me amusement. We made our way back to our house, slowly, jogging more than running. Jasper and Emmett spent most of the journey discussing the type and length of scissors that would be suitable for the squirrel massacre loss.

I thought back to the day I'd started talking to Isabella Swan again. After months of what Alice had called 'mopey silence', where I had not talked to Bella and apparently barely to my family, Mike Newton had finally tipped my hand. It had been a day full of jealous surprises for me. She had countered his offer with a journey to Seattle. Had she truly been planning the trip, or was this an evasion? I had stared a long time into those perplexingly deep eyes, and come up blank. But apparently, her anger and assumed knowledge of my 'regret for not letting the stupid van squish her', had sparked something in me. Something profound had suddenly clicked. I was wounded by her assumption, actually upset that she thought I had wanted her dead, and even more confused as to why I felt that way.

But my mood had begun to improve, watching Bella deny Eric as well. As I had reached the parking lot, I could also hear the worried thoughts of Tyler Crowley. He too had wanted to ask her today. I had to see this too. I had backed my Volvo out, waiting for my siblings. They all looked at me like I had gone insane, as I was drawing notice with the two idling cars behind me. I watched my rearview mirror, watching Bella's frustrated face, as she – horrified – had inadvertently opened up an avenue for Tyler to take her to prom. I laughed at her expression, and my family sat silently in shock on the way home, all marvelling at my sudden exuberance.

I had watched in Alice's head, as she'd had a vision of me, laughing, and walking towards the front steps of our house, and trailing behind me, holding my hand, was Isabella Swan. I had stopped my chuckling immediately.

"Don't fight this Edward. It's not the only one I've seen." Alice had said, and then proceeded to show me other little snippets, flashes of moments that I didn't understand. Bella and I sitting at our own private lunch table, Bella and I running, in jogging gear together, and even, her sitting, in my room. My mood had both plummeted and peaked. Half of me was thrilled, thrilled that I'd get the chance to continue to talk with her, and become close, while the other half was screaming for her blood, and enjoying the close proximity and the danger she was placing herself into.

"Um Alice love, I'm not sure what you showed him, but it made things both better and worse." Jasper had murmured to her. When we got home, I had instantly paused at the front door. There was one house I wanted to be at right now, and it wasn't this one.

"Alice…" I had asked.

 _She's at home, and I don't see you doing anything bad. But I will admit, if I didn't know you better, I'd think it was creepy._

"Thanks." I had murmured sarcastically, turning around and running to her house. I had seen her officially ask her father if she could go to Seattle, and watched his overall concern about her truck making it there. It had sparked an idea in me, that I'm sure Alice would enjoy, and the others would be perplexed – or angry – with. I had watched her switch in and out of signing and speaking, and Charlie's hesitance with signing. Her partial deafness was new then? Something that had occurred recently? I had perched, like a perverted man in the trees, watching, waiting, while she went about her daily life. She had spent some time on a computer, copied over Angela's impeccable notes, and eventually she had gone to the bathroom, returning in pyjamas, and tucked herself in to sleep. I could see that although her headboard was up against the window, she lay with her head away from it, upside-down on her bead. I wondered why, as I watched her toss and turn, and then settle.

And then she had said my name in her sleep.


	29. Chapter 29 - Edward

**AN: Sup folks? Last Edward POV today, at least for a while. On an unrelated note - I have definitely mentally planned this at least to Eclipse, so we'll see if I can keep all of your attention that long. I'm super excited for my version of things. :D Also - as always - if you have any requests about activities, or scenes that you'd like me to try and work in, I'm always open to suggestions.**

"Whatever you were just remembering, I like that part. That feeling, such… glee. It's a rare feeling." Jasper sighed happily as we jogged home. I smiled, and admitted my thoughts.

"I was reminiscing about the day I first spied on Bella."

"Ewwwwww." Emmett chimed. _Just kidding bro._

"I know it sounds strange, but when she fell asleep… she said my name."

"And that's all it takes to get you happy?" Emmett laughed. "No wonder you don't like hugs."

Jasper hit him for me. "It takes a lot for Edward to open up, and you're gonna run your mouth off?"

Emmett was unfazed. "Eh, if I did change anything I think he'd be more worried. If I started being the concerned about feelings brother like you, he'd never have any fun."

Jasper rolled his eyes this time.

As the three of us got closer to the house I noticed two things. First of all, Alice was screaming at me mentally to stop us in our tracks, and second of all, Carlisle was not within my range. It meant that he wasn't at the house. I raised my hand in a military 'halt' motion and the others stopped instantly, concerned.

 _What's wrong Edward?_

 _Sup?_

"I'm not sure." I muttered quietly. "Alice is shouting at me to stay put. She'll be along in a moment." I searched the other's thoughts for danger, but Rosalie was working on her car, and Esme was looking out the window, also waiting for our arrival. Alice was focused on narrowing down where we would be, so her thoughts were of little help. The three of us waited, and Alice appeared, smiling anxiously. She lithely bounded over to Jasper, holding his hand firmly.

"Both of you have to follow me exactly, okay? There's blood in the air, and you're both at risk of killing each other over it if you get downwind." She was looking pointedly at me, and Jasper.

"What about me?" Emmett asked, wounded that he wasn't considered a threat, to whatever human it was.

"It's just a few scrapes, so you'd be okay to go straight home if you like, but I'd like you here as manpower in case the wind changes."

"And why am I considered a threat Alice?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Because it's Bella who's scraped up." She calmly explained. Even at the words my mouth began to fill with venom. My mind began to whirl with questions and concern. Alice began leading us back East, and we followed her path carefully. Jasper's thoughts were forlorn and embarrassed.

"Jasper, please don't eviscerate yourself over this. Apparently I would have been worse in this instance. Alice is here to stop me first and foremost."

"Oh yeah. You can't imagine how grumpy he would get if he killed her. Ugh. It'd be like the sixties all over again." Alice shook her head, only half joking. "Before you ask Edward, she's fine. She went running, and took a couple of tumbles I guess. Very mild scrapes. Carlisle is with her now. I sent him to divert her from running any closer to our house."

"She was running out here?" This was miles from her house.

"Pretty close to it yeah. And with the wind we have today her scent wafts straight into the path you were taking home. I'm just taking precautions dragging you all the long way around."

The four of us walked peacefully through the trees, while Alice chimed on about weather patterns being both easy and hard to spot, when she suddenly looked at me.

 _Shoot. Sorry I didn't see it sooner._ "It'll be sunny on Seattle day."

"Seattle day?" Emmett asked. "Oh – when you were going to let Bella DRIVE?"

I sighed, thinking back to that conversation.

It had started in the morning. I had been making sure that she heard every word I had said, making sure to face her, and space my words. We had exchanged some quips, some apologies, and then she had suddenly let down all of her defenses. In that one vulnerable second she had admitted that she was scared. Not of being in a car with me, but of letting me drive. She had said no, only on that condition. My juvenile self was smirking at Mike Newton in my head. She hadn't rejected _my_ offer. But driving. I didn't let anyone else drive. I wasn't the best passenger. I hated it, and knew that with my built-in radar detector, I was the best choice for speed, and stealth. And yet my mouth had answered her, reassuringly without my head telling it to.

"I…" would let you drive, despite having infinitely superior reflexes? Not a good start, "wouldn't be entirely opposed to you driving us." I tried to smile at her, while also limiting my breathing. Her scent had been battering me like a ram. "Honestly."

She had seen straight through my ruse, and amusement had flickered in her face.

"You'd absolutely hate it wouldn't you?" She had asked, toyingly.

"Yes. But I want to prove to you, that I'm… " Trustworthy? I wasn't. Not a monster? I was. "Well that I'm not the awful person I've made myself out to be." That had seemed to be the best compromise. I had looked carefully at Alice, waiting for me at the other end of the cafeteria. She was watching, to keep us both safe. "I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella. And if that means I have to endure your truck for a few hours, I can deal with it." And your scent – I had wanted to say. It was driving me mad and we were feet apart in an open area. But the words were true. I looked at her, willing her to understand the sincerity behind my words. She had looked surprised, and happily up at me. "Okay."

That one little word would have sent Jasper smiling with the intensity of relief and happiness that flowed out of me. I had thought to myself that I needed to rein it in. It was, after all, a causal and friendly encounter. It wasn't like I'd asked her to be my life partner. But somehow it had felt that way.

"Good. See you in class." And I had turned away to breathe the fresh air.

Alice had quietly reminded me between classes that we had blood-typing in biology. I had realised I would have to speak to her again beforehand, as it was unlikely I could smoothly bail from class, and I didn't want Bella to think I'd reverted to ignoring her.

Most of my siblings by that morning had been thinking almost non-stop about how insane I was to be trying to spend more time with the largest temptation I had ever faced. Only Alice had understood, and for two reasons. One – she had seen the snippets of Bella involved in meaningless tasks in my every day, and trusted in her visions. The other was that she and I had a very deep understanding of each other. We were so used to being intruders on other's lives, being the outcasts, and we finally had each other to confide in, and rarely kept things from each other. So when she had finally caught a glimpse of my happiness, the kind that she and Jasper shared, she had grasped onto it with every shred of her sanity.

On that day I had walked straight past my siblings at our normal lunch table. I had received a wave of confidence from Jasper, and a wink from Alice. Emmett and Rosalie were skeptical, and Rose had managed to swing in the jealous twinge and hate-filled thoughts too. I had made sure to ignore her, and sat, waiting for Bella. Once I had gotten her to my table we had bantered as naturally as Jasper and Emmett did.

"Are you having second thoughts about letting me drive us to Seattle?"

 _WHAT?_ Emmett had roared mentally. _Did she just say she was driving, Edward?_

"Anyone else hear that?" Emmett had whispered at the others. Nobody had answered him. But they had all been equally surprised.

"No. Your driving doesn't particularly thrill me, but I can manage, and as for the new seating arrangements, I decided that as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

I had watched her face flicker with confusion. "I don't know if you noticed, but I tend to get a little lost in conversations anyway, so if you could try to avoid the riddle-speak I'd appreciate it."

I had ducked my head down guiltily, as Alice had laughed heartily at my expense.

 _She is quick witted._

"You're right. I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I know I should try to be clear and simple, but my tongue and words seem to run wild when I'm with you."

She had scowled at me, and I wasn't sure if was my speech had been not heard or not liked. So I diverted us. She had made a few observant quips, and I had diverted as best I could. I kept catching her attention before speaking with her, and she had suddenly gotten extremely angry at me. That I had figured out her disability. I half wanted to explain that she had almost fooled me. Without the supernatural influence and discussion, it would have probably taken me time to figure out. Her face had been thunderously dark and pained, as if this was something she would have rather I'd been the last person to discover. I tried to skip over that part of the memory as much as possible, or I'd annoy Jasper with my worry, and returned to the funnier half of the conversation.

"I'll have to ask Angela if we can trade vehicles for the day, since you seem to despise the tank that I drive so much."

I had looked at her slightly irritated expression, and made a gut-wrenching decision. "You don't need to worry about endangering Angela's life with your 'tank' as you call it. You can drive us in the Volvo,"

 _Are you fuckin kidding me? I'm not allowed to drive that thing!_ Emmett.

 _No way did he just volunteer his car._ Rosalie.

 _He seriously just GAVE UP driving rights to the VOLVO to a HUMAN?_ Jasper.

 _Awww. That was sweet brother dearest._ Alice.

The Jasper in my present looked curiously at me. _You're certainly more vivid since you met her, you know that? More emotional display than in all the years I've known you combined. Whatever memories you keep falling back on, are making you feel more than I've ever been able to read._

"It's her Jasper. Always her." I mumbled. Emmett and Alice didn't bother trying to catch up, clearly realising that I was discussing Bella. "I'm not sure how I feel about the whole scenario, to be honest. Half of me wants to go back, and uncomplicated both of our lives."

"But the other half contains the emotional spectrum I prefer."

"Yeah – you're less of a dick." Emmett chimed, earning a disapproving swat from Alice.

"I see your futures so clearly entwined Edward. With each interaction, more pop up, and it's honestly delightful."

Delightful? It was sick, masochistic and perverted. She was decades younger than me, fragile, frail and breakable. I was more likely to accidentally kill her while trying to refrain from drinking from her. It was twisted, and my interest in her could cause chaos for our family. Especially if this didn't end well.


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: And we're back to Bella! Port Angeles here we come! Two chapters so close? Outrageous! There are like 3000 of you reading now, and I've been focused on homework a lot lately, so hopefully this makes up for it a little! :D**

I regretted that Saturday of running more than anything. My leg was so angry at me, and my other one felt like it was rubber. I'd barely made it inside, and to the couch. Charlie had gotten around to ordering pizza, since he had noticed my inability to walk. He flicked the light, and I looked over to where he stood by the door.

"You okay to go to school tomorrow?"

Would Edward be there I could try and hobble in for that? No. His father had said he'd come back early and alone, that the others would be gone for another day or so.

"I'm going to say no for that. I was stupid today dad." I sighed.

"Yeah, figured. I'll call the school for you tomorrow." He looked towards the television for a second, and then back to me. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't go running down the back roads Bells. Stick to main roads next time okay?"

"Trust me I'll try."

The rest of that night – after the pizza had come, and I'd eaten an impressive half of it, I made the best of a hot bath, and then tucked myself into bed. I turned my alarm off and passed out.

 _I was in a forest this time. It was dark, eerie, foggy. I was running, in the same gear I'd been today. Suddenly a chorus of wolf howling began behind me, and I ran faster, my leg wobbling with the effort. The sounds of running beasts, howling and yipping with the chase began to catch up with me, tearing at my heels. I turned back for the briefest of seconds, and ran straight into a wall. But the wall caught me, and I looked back to find that it was Edward, looking fiercely deadly at the menace at my back._

I woke gradually with the sun. My legs were so stiff, and my stabiliser muscles in my core ached. It took me half an hour to get out of bed, slowly stretching and loosening what I could as I went. As I moved more and more my legs felt better, but I was still hobbling all over.

It was sunny outside today, so I opened every window in the house, and tried to be productive. I wrote the paper I had due on Wednesday, and I tried to clean, which took a lot more effort than usual, because my legs were not cooperating and bending them required some serious hanging on. I texted Angela when I knew she'd be on lunch to let her know I was fine, and that I'd be back to school tomorrow. She responded very quickly.

 _Glad to hear it! Jessica and I were going to go to Port Angeles tomorrow after school to pick out some dresses, want to come?_

I wouldn't be much help with the dresses I knew, but I could be supportive, especially for Angela.

 _Absolutely. I'll drive up in my own truck, in case I pick up a new desk chair while I'm up there though!_

That was a reasonable enough excuse to drive I felt. We agreed to leave directly from school the following day. I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking, and trying not to think, about Edward Cullen. He had seemed completely at ease with my disability, much like Angela, and even with my fear of cars, which was almost starting to become more of an issue than my hearing. He and his family were different, supernatural, if I had my guesses correct – and yet, kind, distant, only trying to fit in and live their lives as normally as possible. Just like me. Did it matter to me at all, really? I don't think it did. But at the same time, I was clearly getting obsessed over this boy, a boy who'd shown some bipolar flip-flopping of personality traits, and who I wasn't even totally sure of. Still… the things he had said on Friday. He was 'tired of trying to stay away from me'. Was that good? Did that mean that he was only staying away because of familial expectations? Was he not supposed to associate with 'normal' people? And if so, did I really want to get myself involved with someone whose family could never approve? Ugh the questions. Carlisle hadn't seemed too angry when he had essentially saved me from walking around like a lost puppy into the wilderness. So maybe at least Edward's father wouldn't completely despise me. But I was getting ahead of myself.

I was about to start dinner when a tap on my shoulder scared the living daylights out of me. I screamed, twisted, and fell to the floor, bumping my elbow really hard on the tile floor of the kitchen. My father, in his attempt to catch me, ended up falling as well, and gripped the counter in an only slightly more graceful descent to the floor. We were both tangled on the floor. It took a second for my heart to restart, and then my hearing clonked out slightly because I could only hear my heart thumping loudly and quickly in my ears.

"Sorry Bella!" Charlie half-yelled at me. "You okay kiddo?" he signed 'O' and 'K'.

"My elbow kills, but I'm good. Just terrified. Cops aren't supposed to do the whole 'home invasion thing'." I joked, while extracting my legs from his. Charlie got up first and helped me and my failing legs up. I rubbed my elbow as he apologized.

"I did turn the light on in the hall, but I guess you didn't see."

"Seriously dad it's fine. I clearly wasn't paying attention." Space case again. Too much Edward in my brain.

"How are your legs?" he asked, watching me wince as I sat down.

"Fine enough. They'll be back to normal by tomorrow I think…. My elbow though..." I pulled a grimace, and then laughed as he smiled guiltily. We worked on dinner together, and I asked him if I was good to go to Port Angeles with the girls tomorrow.

"I thought you weren't going to the dance?" he asked, confused.

"I'm not." I affirmed. "Seattle, remember?" with Edward Cullen, I wanted to add.

"Then why are you going dress shopping?"

"I wouldn't have to explain this to mom. I'm going because Jess and Angela need my opinion on their dresses. I'll help them coordinate outfits and things, and I hope to hit up a bookstore while I'm there." And apparently maybe a furniture store to pretend to look for a desk chair. Charlie shrugged his acceptance of the trip and shook his head at the foreign concept that was teenage girls. I was actually looking forward to this. Although Tuesday as a school day would probably be slow and drawn out (because of my excitement for the evening, and because of the potential lack of a biology partner), I had a feeling that I'd have fun that night.

Tuesday morning there was no silver Volvo in the parking lot. But Angela and Jess were waiting excitedly for me. I caught most of what Angela said, but Jess was so excited in talking about the evening's plans, and the route we would drive to get there, that I lost most of it. I decided eventually that I would just follow her car later, as I was not hearing most of her instructions. During classes I copied down yesterday's notes, which Angela had lent me, and then paid attention to what I could. The day went by surprisingly quickly, and at lunch everyone was jovial. The boys were planning a trip – but I didn't catch to where, and I spent most of the time watching them throw food at each other while attempting to score in each other's mouths. I saw one piece of carrot bounce off of Mike's nose and land in Jessica's cleavage, which stirred up a lot of laughter, and I'm sure some fun comments. I made sure to keep a smile plastered on my face, and most of the time, I wasn't even trying.

The afternoon went by just as swiftly. In biology class I found myself utterly distracted and my eyes kept wandering to the empty chair beside me. Gym was awful. My legs were still so sore and stiff that I could barely run to keep up with the rest of the team, and so ended up sort of standing in the middle, and ducking in a paranoid fashion every time people came near me. And then suddenly it was time to change back into regular clothing and skip town.

It was still even partially sunny when Angela and Jess got into Jess' car, and I backed my truck out, and began following them. Although I was alone during the drive, I felt refreshed and invigorated. A break from routine and a little bit of shopping felt like exactly what I needed. I truly hoped I'd find a good bookstore, but regardless, I'd enjoy the girl time. I focused on the tail lights in front of me, the road sped away under my violently shuddering truck, and I smiled to myself.


	31. Chapter 31

The drive to Port Angeles was fun. I could see Angela and Jessica dancing in their car to whatever music they had on. We parked a decent walk from the store, and had enjoyed the walk. The Port itself was beautiful, the water a cool grey blue, and the occasional sun lighting up the faces of the residents, as well as adding some gorgeous sparkle to the sea. We popped into a small furniture store so I could 'look for a desk chair that would fit my room'. Having not discovered anything that needed my truck, I shrugged in mock defeat and we headed to the department store for some dresses.

Angela and Jessica both found a bunch of different styles that they wanted to try on. Angela's choices were all very complimentary and reserved, with a little bit of sparkle. Jess had a very opposite and flashy taste, but it suited her too. I had to help with the selection of colours and shapes (from the limited assortment they had to choose from) and then they started to debate about shoes and accessories. I caught Angela's attention, and told her that I was going to look for a bookstore. She signed to me that there was one to my left, and three blocks down. I grinned at her, so proud. She was going to get better than me at the rate she was studying.

I left the department store, and headed where Angela had directed me. I took my time, knowing I wanted to relax and enjoy the solitary time in the fresh sea breeze, but also made my way directly there because I knew that the three of us had dinner plans. I looked at the bookstore, and made my way in, very skeptical that it would have anything I needed. The old lady with the thick rimmed frames that took up most of her face was glittering in scarves and earrings, and keeping a transfixed smile and gaze on me as I glanced through the book collection. I couldn't see anything that I particularly wanted, and once again tried to enjoy the solidarity that bookstores, even small and mystical ones such as this, provided. It didn't take me very long to start getting a minor headache from the barrels of incense that the store seemed to be stocked with, so I left with a quick and awkward good bye, and headed out into the world again. There looked to be plenty more shops down the street I was on, so I headed further away from my original departure point, to see what else I could find. There had to be another bookstore in town right?

My walk turned out to be wasted, as there was nothing more at the end of the street. I took a left – which was by my reasoning – taking me parallel to the water, and I tried to double back towards the department store, while also covering new ground in hopes of that magical bookstore that might appear. I had half a mind to grab my phone from my purse and use the GPS, but my data rate sucked, and I'd already used way more gas than I had hoped getting here, so would have to fork out for that. I started to realise that I wasn't headed towards where I'd hoped, as I'd just run into a dead end, and it was getting dark. The sun hadn't set yet, but it was low in the sky and the shadows of the buildings I was surrounded by were making it very dark and cold.

I got my phone out, and began trying to get a signal to find my way out, while walking back the way I'd come. I glanced ahead of me as I stumbled slightly on a curve and my stomach clenched, while the hair on my arms raised. There were several dark and ominous looking figures leaning against a building ahead. I couldn't hear them, but I was catching echoes that sounded sort of like laughter. Unsure of passing them, I turned down the first street I came to before them. I should be headed out to the water, by my mental map, and my phone was lagging, trying desperately to open up the map application, so I quickened my pace.

My phone finally loaded, pinpointing me, in a little blue dot, in the complete opposite direction to where I thought I had been headed. Where had I gotten turned around? I spun straight around and bumped straight into someone. I hadn't heard them behind me. Damn my hearing to hell. My phone and I clattered to the ground and I muttered an instinctual 'sorry', straight away, before realising that there wasn't just one person in my way, there were four. They were men, and they had very ominous, almost evil, smiles on their faces.

I started to get up, still facing them, when one of them stepped to my side, grabbing my arm. For a fleeting second I thought maybe he was helping me up, and then he started twisting. My other hand flew straight out, instinctively, and collided with something semi-solid. The arm holding let up and the guy stumbled backward, clutching his hands to his – hopefully broken – bloody nose. My heart was pounding, and my adrenaline was high. I was instantly thinking about everything Charlie had ever taught me about self defense. Eyes, throats, noses, groins. Only problem was, that was always against one attacker. As I backed away I stumbled over my own dropped purse and was half on the ground when they jumped at me. I received one solid kick to the side and all of my breath disappeared. I started kicking and punching as much as I could, squirming back and out of reach. My one hand managed to stick into something that felt wet and squishy, and I actually heard the scream of the man who I think – from my imagining – I had gouged his eye. Someone pulled me sharply towards them, and I felt part of my jeans slide down, while my shirt slid up and my back scratched against the pavement. My knee connected with something else before being pinned, painfully at my side. And suddenly I couldn't see.

The world was immediately lit up with the bright headlights of a car that I hadn't heard, and as if being plucked out of the air by giant eagles, the men started flying, up and away from me. It took me a second to realise that a figure, silhouetted by the car headlights, was picking the men up, and physically throwing them against the buildings around us. I lay still, trying to catch my breath, and straining to see. Once all four men were slumped against the opposite building, the figure turned to me. I still couldn't see them, and either couldn't hear anything, or the alleyway was silent. The figure bent so that his shadow interrupted the headlights I was squinting into, and I could suddenly see that it was Edward Cullen.

"Edward!" I gasped in relief. I lay back instantly, feeling safer than ever, and still breathing a little harder than I should have. "Never thought I'd be so happy to see your stupid shiny Volvo."

I was looking up into the darkness, when suddenly his face was above mine.

"Are you alright?" he looked murderous, and concerned, and torn between the two. I started to sit up again, and I took the next few seconds, and the added bonus of the headlight beams, to give myself a once over. My right arm was covered in blood splatter, but I was relatively convinced it wasn't mine. My back was sore, but I didn't think it was bleeding. My side hurt though, and I was still having trouble breathing fully. My button on my jeans had been torn off.

"I think I'm not bleeding." I said with what I hoped was certainty.

"You aren't." Edward dismissed, before I even had the words out. I had to laugh. It seemed surreal, but it felt as though we were discussing a videogame character rather than me. I honestly didn't feel that bad. I had been terrified, but now, I was safe in the arms of a supernatural man who was intent on saving my life from the random and unlucky occurrences I seemed to attract.

"Excuse me, but this is my injury inventory I'm taking. Get your own."

"Bella." Edward's loud and clear voice dripped with anger. "Please be serious."

I smiled, and stretched a little.

"Okay. Sorry. My back got some scrapes. My jeans are ripped. My shin feels bruised. My fingernails have eye goop on them. And it twinges a little when I breathe." I rubbed the spot that hurt the most, and Edward lowered his hand carefully to lift my shirt. I yanked it out of his way and his icy cold hands pressed gently against the spot.

"Nothing -" I missed the rest of his sentence.

"Speak up."

"Nothing feels broken." He said louder, looking into my eyes again.

"Seriously, I feel okay. Just a little winded." I tried to reassure him.

"Carlisle is on his way. Stay where you are." Edward started to pull away.

"Don't leave me." The words flew out of my lips before I could close them. Edward stopped, settling back down beside me, but he glanced towards the men slumped against the building. I looked too. I couldn't tell if any of them were alive. They all looked like broken ragdolls. One had a puffy eye, and one had blood down his chin.

"Are they?"

"Unconscious. I haven't killed anyone. Yet."

"Don't. Don't. Just stay here, okay. Put your hand back, it helped." I tried to divert his attention. It worked, but only slightly. His hand returned to the sore spot at my side and I relaxed again.

"Did I get those two? The eye and the nose?" I asked, hoping that I could have at least some points on team Bella.

"Yes. I'm rather proud of you for those. Very well aimed." Edward replied. His brief and strained smile disappeared almost instantly and his gaze turned coldly towards my attackers. He still looked like he wanted to finish slamming them through the building. I gently tugged his hand slightly to the left, and it refocused him. I wasn't going to tell him that my scores on the men came down to luck. I'd be fine with him thinking I was at least minimally good at self-defense. We sat quietly for a minute, and then I remembered the reason I was in Port Angeles at all.

"Could you pass me my phone please?" I could see it within his reach. "I have to text Angela that I'm not coming to dinner."

Edward stiffened suddenly, but his hand remained in place.

"- tell her?" he asked, in a quiet tone. I thought for a few seconds. What would I say?

"I'm going to say that I went back to the furniture store and found a chair I liked. Working out payment details and that I'll be a while. She can head to dinner with Jessica, and home after if I tell her not to wait."

Edward looked at me intently, and curiously, and then passed me my phone I wiped both of my hands on my jeans, and then began to text, ignoring the red streak that I managed to transfer to my phone screen. I sent the text, and looked back at Edward.

"Thank you Edward. That's twice now." I smiled at him, reaching my hand toward him. He pulled away, tucking his hands in his pockets and flashing away quickly. One of the men had started to wake, and Edward had remedied it. He returned to me as quickly as he had left, looking worried.

"Honestly Edward, I'm fine." I started to try and stand up, but he rested his hand on my shoulder to keep me in place.

"Carlisle is nearly here." He said absently, looking behind me.


	32. Chapter 32

I looked behind me, only seeing the empty street illuminated creepily by the Volvo's headlights. I looked at the men slumped around us again, and back to Edward. He was visibly arguing with himself about whether to finish off my attackers or stay with me. I could see it. He would look at them, begin to scowl murderously, and then close his eyes and breathe, and look back at me, relaxing ever so slightly, before repeating the process. I knew I had to get his mind off of them.

"So… what brings you here?" I asked, trying to break the silence that seemed to be pressing in painfully. Edward switched the hand that was on my ribs for his other hand. A fresh wave of icy coolness seeped into my side. He sighed, dropping his head slightly, as if I were annoying him. "Sorry." I muttered.

"Do your ribs feel any better?" he asked, loudly enough that I caught every word.

"Your hands are a fantastic ice pack. I could pay you to walk around and cool my drinks off." I looked at his face, readjusting my hands, which were propping me into a sitting position. Edward looked like he was a parent, both patient and impatient, wishing he could take on the world for his child's scraped knee. His head shot up suddenly, to look behind us. I twisted my head and all of a sudden Doctor Carlisle Cullen was behind me, irradiated by the Volvo's headlight. Where had he come from? He certainly didn't come in a car.

"Hey doc. Good to see you again." I smiled. "Can you please tell your son that I'm fine?"

Carlisle smiled reassuringly at me, before looking intently at Edward.

"No I didn't kill any of them. Not for a lack of wanting to, trust me. But Bella was injured." Edward muttered. I think I would have missed it had I not been looking at his lips.

"Your restraint continues to amaze me Edward." Carlisle congratulated him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He knelt down beside me, gently pushing Edward's hand aside, and feeling at my ribs.

"Are you in pain anywhere?" Carlisle asked gently, still probing.

"I was a little winded when I got kicked, but I'm okay now. I haven't been allowed to stand yet, so I'm not a hundred percent sure. My elbows and back got a little bumped and scraped. But I swear I'm not going into shock or anything." I reassured him.

"You should be. A normal person would be." Edward quipped.

"Yeah well, I've been dealt more than my share of near death experiences. I'm great at taking them in stride." I laughed, and my side twinged, causing a little wince. Carlisle and Edward helped me stand, very slowly. I took a deep breath, also slowly, and felt along my ribs. I thought I was fine. It would probably bruise like crazy though. I ran my hand along my back, feeling small scratches and looked at my arms in the headlight glare. They were red and already bruising in a couple of places, and I had a long raised scratch on one of my arms that I didn't remember obtaining. The only thing wrong with the entire scenario was that I felt queasy looking at the now dried blood on my arm and I tried to not think about eye goop.

"Do either of you happen to have some water?" I saw a small blur of motion and Edward had disappeared. I looked startled at Carlisle. "Jeez you guys are fast."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed slowly. "I suppose we are." He tilted my head back, looking into my eyes. "No sign of any dilation. I honestly do believe you aren't going into shock. Although I can't fathom how."

"How did you get here?" I asked bluntly, looking at him with curiosity. He looked as though he could have climbed out of Edward's car merely moments ago.

"I ran. I am sorry I was as late as I was. Even with Alice's warning, I'm not as fast as Edward." He ran his fingers along the scrapes on my back and arms. "These should heal well, although you'll indubitably experience some nasty bruising."

He had run from Forks. In a matter of minutes. And what did he mean by 'warning' from Alice? I had so many questions, but I kept my tongue silent. A lot had happened to me in the last hour and I wanted to be sure that I was thinking at my peak when I started asking questions. Right now I wasn't even a hundred percent sure I was seeing and hearing things accurately.

Edward reappeared with an entire pack of water bottles. He ripped apart the packaging as though it were tissue, and extended his hand with the first bottle towards me, opened already. I saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye, and I grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him to my ribs again. I said, "Please stay here". He stayed motionless, his eyes darting angrily towards my attackers.

"No Carlisle. You should take Bella. I'll deal with this." Edward snapped abruptly, looking towards his father. Had I missed the question?

"You will not. Your control this evening has been phenomenal, and reversing your altruistic decisions would not bode well with your conscience." His voice was stern. I still remained quiet. Although I was the topic, I felt as though this was definitely a private argument.

"I'd manage. You should have heard what they were thinking Carlisle. What they were planning…" Edward was almost shouting now. I raised my hand to his shoulder, wanting to calm and reassure him, pulling it back when I noticed the blood still on my hands. He looked at me, almost ashamedly, and handed me the water bottle. I used it to scrub my hands, splashing water on the three of us. The men didn't seem to mind. What they were thinking. What they were planning. As sinister as the sentences were, they weren't half as eerie as the fact that Edward had said it so casually. His father hadn't even questioned it, as if Edward had truly heard their thoughts. Was Edward a mind reader? I looked at him, thinking furiously. _Edward? Can you hear me?_ I saw no sign of recognition from him, but he did seem awfully distracted by the fight with his father, by my attackers slowly regaining consciousness, and by his own hand on my ribcage.

"Take Bella home. I will deal with the others appropriately and humanely." Carlisle said firmly. They stared off for a few moments. I pulled Edward's hand gently to flip it to the colder side. That seemed to make a decision for him. Edward dropped his head resignedly. Carlisle looked back to me.

"I am glad you are alright Bella."

"Thank you for coming. I'm sorry it wasn't really worth the run." I apologized.

"Are you apologizing for not being more injured? I'm afraid you might need a brain scan Miss Swan." Carlisle joked, while Edward looked on incredulously. I blushed.

"I guess that was stupid yeah." I looked around at the still unconscious men around me. "Um… not that I think you're going to, but, please don't kill anyone. I don't want that on my conscience." I looked worriedly into Edward's face, which was still focused determinedly on his hand at my ribs, and then towards Carlisle.

"I swear to you Bella. No one will die tonight." The sincerity that rang from his voice made me relax and trust him. He turned away from me then approaching the men, assessing the injuries of the attacker-turned-victims. I walked with Edward to the Volvo, and as soon as we were on the other side of the headlights I could see nothing. I stopped, and blinked furiously, trying to get my eyes to adjust faster. Edward stopped beside me.

"Would you mind if I carried you to your truck?" Edward asked. "It'll be faster, and I need to get you somewhere safe and warm."

I looked in the direction of him, though all I could make out was a dark shadow. I suppose he wanted to leave the car for Carlisle to carry the men to whatever hospital was closest. I hesitated, and then wondered why. It wasn't driving, after all, and I'd end up in close proximity to Edward for an extended duration.

"On one condition?" I asked in response. I received no answer, or if I did, I didn't hear it. "Can you not go at your stopping-trucks-and-fetching-water-speed? I don't think I could handle the motion right now."

"Of course." He nodded graciously. My phone buzzed in my pocket, as Edward made to pick me up. It was like a jolt back into a reality I hadn't realised I had left. I checked the message, from Angela.

 _We just got our food, are you sure you won't be done at the store in time?_

 _I am good, don't even worry. I'll catch up with you both at school tomorrow._ I texted back the response, as I let Edward pick me up, holding my breath so it wouldn't escape in the slight hiss of pain that accompanied my bending slightly. This bruise on my ribs would be a dark and large one for sure. I focused on typing while he walked carefully. I could barely feel him moving at all, except for a light and constant breeze. This felt like the blood-typing incident all over again. I groaned in embarrassment. Edward slowed down slightly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, clearly and slowly. I was staring at my phone screen, so I figured that I could make this seem less awkward.

"I need to buy a desk chair." I said. "I told Angela and Jess I wouldn't be joining them for dinner because I'd found a chair I liked at the furniture store. So now I need to buy a chair."

It seemed like a strange thing to be thinking to me, but Edward laughed.

"I'll take care of it."

We kept walking, and when I looked around I could see the faint glow of streetlamps in the distance behind us. I wondered where we had gone, and when it had gotten so dark. I closed my eyes, and rested my head against Edward's chest. I couldn't feel calmer, which was probably very twisted, since I was in the arms of what I suspected to be a vampire, and I'd just been attacked by a bunch of men in a dark alleyway. He started humming, or singing in a very low tone, and his chest vibrated. I listened to his low and fading tones, relaxing as much as I could as he gently rocked me as we walked. I had never felt so calm and safe in my life.


	33. Chapter 33

The breeze that had been a consistent tickling on my face as he carried me suddenly stopped, and I opened my eyes. It was still dark, but we were under a streetlight, beside a familiar red and rusty Chevy truck. I was still parked a decent walk from the furniture store, so I knew we'd have to head that way before heading home. Edward set me on my feet by my truck and I looked around at the almost deserted street. I looked up at Edward as he waved at me, his beige leather jacket glinting yellow under the streetlight. I saw a few splatters of dark red on that jacket and winced. That was definitely my fault, and I knew I looked like a mess. I tried not to think about it, as I focused on why he was catching my attention. With his hands free he began to talk, and _sign_ to me.

"Please don't fight me on this." I wasn't sure yet what I was supposed to be fighting him about, but I was momentarily distracted by his flawless ASL form.

"You sign?" I asked, incredulously. "Since when?" This question elicited a smile from him.

"I've taken it up very recently. This weekend I spent a lot of time practicing with Alice and Esme actually." He even spelled out Alice and Esme in flawless, and fast, finger spelling. So quickly that had their names not already been familiar to me I would have needed him to repeat himself.

"Okay then." It was something else I would have to quiz him on. Again, later. The numbers of questions I had for later was starting to get ridiculous. I huffed, and then refocused on the present, on why I was about to fight him. "What are we going to be fighting about exactly?"

"I'm not letting you drive yourself home. Not in this state. You're very confused and I'd rather you get home alive after all of the effort I've put into keeping you that way." His signing was obviously not an exact transcript of his speech, but the two together made it easy to fill in the words and context I may have missed. It was the clearest sentence I'd probably ever read/heard.

I looked down at my truck. I was on the passenger side. That was what he had expected me to instantly pick up on. Perhaps now wouldn't be the best time to fight about this.

"But we still need a chair." I tried to divert.

"If we stop by my house on the way back, I have several spare you can choose from. I'll even let you pay me for them." His tone was light and joking, but his eyes were serious, watching, and tense.

"I…I can't d-"

"I'll let you ask questions. Anything on your mind. I won't hold back." He said, earnestly.

"I'm not sure if that'll be a big enough distraction." I muttered nervously.

"I think it could be. I know to keep well under the limit, and trust me when I say that my reflexes are infinitely superior to yours. The truck won't sway an inch. We're also going to stop to get some food."

"And gas. I'm nearly out." I thought aloud, twisting my hands with worry. Why, after everything that had happened tonight, was this causing me the most worry? I could pretend he was Charlie. We would be in the cruiser, safe and sound. I balled my hands into fists. "If I even start to…"

"We'll pull over." Edward said firmly.

I didn't respond. I unlocked my truck and slowly slid in, trying to keep my hands off of my car seat. I was still uncomfortably aware of the blood I had on me. I took a deep breath and looked beside me. Edward was waiting patiently, his hand outstretched, for my keys. I slowly dropped them into his hand and focused on putting on my seatbelt. He put on his, turned on the truck, and set both hands on the wheel.

"Aren't you going to ask me anything?" Edward asked, turning his head toward me.

"Eyes on the road." I said.

"We aren't even moving yet." He complained, but obliged.

"On. The. Road." I took a deep breath, focusing on his lips. I turned the light on in the cab of the truck so I could see him better. It made the outside world extremely dark. I wasn't sure if that was better, or worse. Questions. I was supposed to be focusing on questions. Which one came to mind first? Are you a vampire? That wasn't the best opener probably. "What were you doing in Port Angeles?"

Edward's face crinkled in disgust for a moment, and I wondered if he was going to go back on his holding back policy.

"I was keeping tabs on you." His head was tilted slightly towards me, but his eyes were fixed on the road as I had asked. I reflexively looked at the speedometer. We were 10 under the limit. I didn't look forward, and tried not to think about the fact that we were moving at all.

"On me? You were following me? I thought you were camping." I rambled.

"We got back yesterday. I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before. And I'm sure it's just your bad luck that's making things all the more difficult. You could have single-handledly devastated the crime statistics of the Olympic Peninsula for decades."

"Rude." I muttered, jokingly. He wasn't overly wrong. Since my car accident, the world seemed to have it in for me. "But why were you trying to keep me alive? Not that I'm not appreciative of course."

Edward screwed up his face and was quiet for a moment. "Pass."

"Really? That's not even one of the worst questions I have."

"Pass." He repeated, firmly.

"Okayyyyy. How did you find me earlier tonight? I noticed you said 'what they were thinking' when talking to your father. Is that how?"

Edward's mouth set into a hard line. I watched him bite his teeth together and then sigh.

"Yes. I hear the thoughts of those around me. I used it to track you down earlier tonight. If I had been paying better attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be so close. I wouldn't have been late." He started to look angry again.

"How? How does it work? What's the range? Can your whole family?..." I trailed off, wondering if I was being foolish. We turned a corner of some kind and I fought the urge to scream. I hadn't been expecting the change in acceleration and it made my stomach flip. I gripped the dashboard, breathing quickly and deeply. Calm. It's fine. You're fine. Breathe. I felt the car begin to slow slightly. "No. I'm fine. I'm okay. Just warn me on curves I guess." I couldn't hear my own voice, but I assumed Edward could. He began answering my question, quite loudly, and it drew my attention back to his face.

"It's only a couple of miles. Some of my family have their own talents, but I'm the only one with the ability to read minds. I'm not sure how it works. I try and tell people to picture a crowded room in which everyone is talking. If I need to I can pick out specific conversations and focus in on those. Everyone's voice is unique. Everyone's thoughts are too."

"Must give you a headache." I wondered aloud, earning a smile from him.

"Actually, you've been the only person to give me a headache." He looked over to me, to see how I was faring I suppose.

"Eyes. Road." I snapped. His gaze returned to the highway. "Why do I give you a headache?" I asked, hoping the sadness was not evident, and then wondering if he could hear that I had hoped that my voice wasn't sad.

"Because I can't hear you. I've given myself a headache trying to find your mental voice, to no -"

"I missed the last word." I admitted. His hand lifted from the wheel, spelled 'avail' quickly, and then returned to the wheel. I took a moment to think. "You can't hear my thoughts?" He shook his head.

"How did you find me then tonight? Their thoughts?" I asked. It was the wrong question. I saw his hands tighten around the wheel and his eyes squint with menace. "Gotcha. Is that how you figured out I couldn't hear well? Your father, or Charlie, or Angela?"

"All three actually. I think you get your mental silence from your father though. Although I can read him, he proves more difficult."

I took some time to mull that over. I had wondered how he had found out so quickly, and there it was. How much of my life was actually a secret to this man, if he could be inside my doctor and my father's heads? I suppose I had remained quiet for too long, as he began talking again.

"The others have kind of gotten used to it, especially the ones with gifts, and so I forget how difficult it is breaking the news to newcomers."

Others with gifts? Which members of his family had more talents, and what could they do? Edward prattled again, clearly nervous at my lack of response.

"No one outside of my family and a few dear friends knows this about me. Please tell me what you're thinking. The silence is killing me."

I looked over at him, and he was looking at me.

"If I have to tell you to focus on the road one more time…." I threatened idly. I'd what? Bleed on him? "I'm just processing it. What you've told me. It's unusual to think that I'm the only one you can't read. I wonder if my brain was like that before…" I noticed that we were coming up on the gas station I'd intended to stop at. Edward saw it too, and was slowing down.

"You might want to stay in the car. People will think I've forcibly kidnapped you, with the way you look."

"Help, someone keeps trying to save me!" I cried faintly in mock horror. Edward was not amused. He got out to get gas, and I sat, slouched in the passenger chair, breathing slowly and forcefully. I knew what my next question would be.


	34. Chapter 34

Edward came back from paying for gas with a handful of chip bags, cookies, chocolate bars, a few cartons of milk and a pack of cheese strings. I laughed as he offered them to me.

"I suppose you did promise me food." I took a few cheese strings and a carton of chocolate milk and waited until Edward was settled. We began driving and my stomach knotted itself again. I hated the fact that I was this afraid. He was trying so hard to be so careful. What was I about to say? "I was about to ask you about your family. You said some of them have gifts?"

Edward smiled grimly, and began explaining.

"All of my family members have something in abundance. Some of them it's easy to place. Emmett has strength, Esme has a limitless capacity to love, Carlisle has the largest streak of compassion I've ever seen. Rosalie is …tenacious. But Alice and Jasper, their strengths turned into more, like mine. Alice sees visions of the future."

"Which is how she warned Carlisle to come after me?" I clarified. He nodded. "And Jasper?"

"Jasper can feel, and often manipulate, the emotions of those around him."

I sat, trying to imagine the sinister looking blonde boy manipulating me. Would he calm people? Could he help me in cars? It was starting to become an issue, as - despite being distracted by food, and epic question answering time – I was becoming more nervous again. I'm sure Edward could probably sense it.

"Can I ask you something?" Edward asked.

"As long as it's not 'why are you so scared of cars?" I said darkly. I didn't need to be thinking about why I was trying to breathe slowly and focus so intently on the face of the boy beside me.

"I wanted to know what it is you think you know about my family." He said. That one took me a second to decipher. He wanted to know what I knew. I looked out of the window, the darkness around us, and realised that my truck's lights weren't on, so I couldn't see the road. It didn't seem to phase Edward, and I wondered how much he could see in the dark.

"You all have some kind of super strength." I managed, without looking towards him. I could see his icy white reflection tense in the windshield. I focused on the reflection's lips. "And super speed. And apparently some occasional stalking." His face remained unmoving and supportive, but his body was still tense.

"And do you have a theory as to why?" he asked, loud enough that I didn't need to read the reflection's lips.

"I had a few at first. Some radioactivity, aliens, good old-fashioned kryptonite…" I laughed at myself. "I tried not to think about it too much. I figured that I was hiding enough secrets of my own that it would be hypocritical to push into others."

"But something changed. After you ran for several miles this weekend?"

I stayed quiet, and he continued. "You nearly ran up to my front door. Alice diverted you by sending Carlisle to assist you, and you had an interesting conversation."

"Why the diversion?" I asked, still avoiding.

"To save your life. You were bleeding, even if only a little. And that… well it wouldn't have boat well."

"Two things." I held up a hand, saw a flash of a moving street sign and my head started spinning. "Actually three things. One, can we pull over?" I asked, hurriedly. My heart was starting to flutter, and Edward slowed us down pulling onto the side of the road. I got out in a hurry, lying flat on the ground, and breathing hard. It was pitch black and I could see nothing except for the thin beam of light streaming from the window. Edward was suddenly beside me, using his phone as a flashlight. He set the phone on the ground so that it projected light onto both of us, illuminating his face.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, and signed, then resting his hand gently on my head.

"Dizzy. Too much breathing." I answered honestly. He stayed crouched beside me, but slipped his jacket off, resting it over my body. It smelled fantastic.

"So what were two and three?" he asked, looking comfortable where he crouched. Was it even possible to be comfortable in a semi-squat like that?

"Uh… two was that it looked like you said 'boat well'. In hindsight I'm guessing it was 'bode'?" I asked. He nodded. I sat up, resting my back against my truck. "Three… three was another question related to the bleeding thing. Earlier tonight, when I was checking to see how injured I was, you dismissed the fact that I was bleeding, even though I was – or rather – _am_ covered in blood."

Edward frowned, his lips contorted as though I'd asked him to eat octopus. I waited. He pressed his hands together, and then began signing as he spoke.

"You know how, although all … popcorn is the same technically, different brands smell unique?" he asked, and signed, looking awkward about the comparison.

"Movie food analogies? Wonderful."

"Well, different people have different scents. Your blood smells very different from the blood of your attacker. His doesn't smell anything like yours in fact." He answered me, looking almost shameful. I focused on the shadows flitting across his face. He seemed so sad, and worried. Like at any moment something he'd say would be too much for me.

"Makes sense." I nodded, and began to pull myself up. Edward was standing in a microsecond, pulling me up gently, and slowly. I got back into the truck, holding onto Edward's jacket for warmth. He pushed more food at me. I rolled my eyes but got to work on a small chocolate bar. He started up the truck's engine again, and we began driving slowly. I looked back at Edward's reflection in the windshield. Somehow this slightly distorted version of him was easier to focus on, less intense, than the real Edward beside me.

"So this weekend…" Edward pushed.

"I went to La Push. Got some local legends from a kid I know there who thinks his dad is crazy. He told me a few things, some old stories about… supernatural beings. Wolves… Vampires." I was sure my heart skipped a beat as I said it.

"And you immediately thought of us?"

"No, he kind of mentioned your family. Explained that you weren't supposed to be a threat because you fed differently to others of your kind."

"He thought we weren't dangerous?" He asked, coldly, and with a laugh I didn't like.

"No, they didn't want you on their land in case. He said that there could always be accidents. But considering your father works the ER, and you're beside me, all blood splattered now, I figure you all have some modicum of control beyond what they expect." I shrugged.

" _You_ don't think we're dangerous?" Edward clarified, incredulously.

"I didn't say that. But I think you all try very hard not to be, and that's what counts." I shrugged. "I've seen more than enough human monsters to figure out that you all don't classify as such. The scariest thing about you is your insistence on driving." I shuddered and breathed deeply again. "Besides, if you were going for scary monster, you're doing it wrong. They tend to put people in danger instead of removing them from it."

Edward remained quiet for a long while, battling with himself. "How can you take this so calmly?"

"I'm not worried about being near you. I am frankly more worried about your lack of headlight usage." I twisted my hands together, and Edward frowned, suddenly clicking the headlights on.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't noticed." He admitted sheepishly.

"You can see that well in the dark? Well now I'm just jealous." I harrumphed. I though hard about what other abilities he might have. "Okay load it on. What else can you do? Strength, speed, eyesight, special sight, anything else I should know?"

"All of my senses are heightened. I cannot age. My reflexes are obviously superior. I cannot go out in direct sunlight."

"You burst into flame?" I asked, skeptical.

"No. But it's a very conspicuous look for my family, so we tend to avoid sunlight." He said, cryptically.

"Could I see that sometime?" I asked, shyly. Edward looked over at me, unbelieving, before snapping his eyes toward the road again.

"I… I suppose."

I sat, watching him squirm.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I'm wondering how you could possibly be taking this so well. It doesn't bother you that I'm not, well, not human?" he said.

"Not particularly." I said. "Does it bug you that I _am_ human?" I countered.

"It concerns me." He admitted, with a smile. "You're awfully breakable. And you in particular seem to be prone to life-threatening situations."

"Yeah well, my number's been up for years. You are just increasing my odds of survival." I thought back to the accident that had so thoroughly ruined my life for over a year. My breathing started to increase again as I realised we were replicating the scenario relatively thoroughly. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. I was fine. As fine as I could be.

"I could argue that I'm decreasing them." Edward said darkly. "You don't understand how much of a draw your blood is to me."

"Well I'll try not to bleed on you." I laughed. Edward smiled in response.

"We're nearly at my house. Do you think you can handle sitting in your truck for thirty seconds while I grab a desk chair?"

"Make sure it matches the décor." I sarcastically muttered through gritted teeth. He shook his head, as if I were insane. He pulled the truck over to the side of the road, and with one, intense, look back at me, disappeared. I felt my truck shake with the addition of what I hoped was a classy-ass chair, less than forty seconds later. Edward also presented me with an empty shopping bag, and an overly large sweatshirt.

"This is to cover your clothing. You look like you've been attacked after all." Edward signed and said. I pulled it over my head, wincing while I was inside it at the pain the motion caused my ribs, and then tucked Edward's jacket on top of me again. Edward then began driving me home. "You may want to ask your father to help you get the chair indoors. It's heavy."

"After I shower and change." I was still trying not to think about eye goop. I was surprisingly calm on the last stretch of our journey. Something I wouldn't have thought possible in a car, with someone I barely knew. And yet, I felt like I knew more about him than I knew about myself somehow. I felt like despite the scary car situation, I was _safe._ We pulled up to my house, and I looked over at Edward, handing his jacket back to him. He left it on his arm while he got out of the truck.

"Will I see you at school tomorrow?" I asked, reluctant to let this conversation end.

"Of course. I have a paper due." He smiled.

"Is it still going to be question time? Or is that reserved for scary car rides?" I asked again, blushing slightly.

"It can be question time. As long as I get to ask some back." He smiled at me in the dark. He began to back away into the dark woods beside the house.

"Hey Edward? One last one. What's the sign for vampire?"

He rewarded me with a laugh, pressing two curled fingers into his neck.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella." And he was gone.

It took me a few moments of staring into the darkness before I headed inside. Charlie was watching the game, but did look back at me.

"Nice sweater." He called. I smiled at my memory of Edward casually throwing it at me.

"Thanks. I picked it up in Port Angeles. And a desk chair. I'm going to need your help actually getting it out of the truck. I kind of want to shower and change first though. Feeling gross." In ways you couldn't even imagine.

Charlie signed a 'yes' and called out something along the lines of 'commercial break'. I headed upstairs to shower. My bruises were numerous, but I had no serious injuries. My scratches were all superficial and none had bled. Edward was right after all. I made sure to scrub the eye goop out of my fingernails, and the blood off oh my skin as much as I could. I balled up the rest of my clothing and threw it in the garbage in my room, tucking an extra bag on top, so Charlie wouldn't see it when he came in. I made sure my pyjamas were long sleeved, to avoid any questions about bruising, and sat on my bed. It had been one hell of a day. My phone buzzed from my desk, where I had chucked it before I had showered. There were two messages. One was from Angela, asking if I'd got home okay. I responded with a reassurance and a goodnight. The other was from an unknown number. Two little words:

 _Be safe._


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: Sup folks? I've got a crazy few weeks ahead of me and I have no idea when I'll be able to write, so I'm jamming some in ASAP while I still can.**

I woke the next morning feeling almost worse than when I'd run the marathon on the weekend. It definitely happened then. I was attacked, and then miraculously saved, again, by Edward Cullen. We'd had an entire car ride together full of questions and admissions. I was absolutely certain of a few things now. First of all, he was a vampire. He was a strong, fast, pale, thirsting after blood, actual vampire. Secondly, he seemed to be attracted to my blood, although since he could have already killed me a million times over, I wasn't overly concerned about that part. And third of all, we seemed to be sort of approaching dating. At least that was my take on it. We seemed to be sharing, spending time together, and being worried about each other. That was sort of dating right? I'd had little to no experience in the matter so I wasn't overly sure. I looked towards my desk. In the daylight I could actually study this new office chair I'd acquired. It was a black leather, with a purple stitch. It actually did match what little décor I had in my room. I shook my head, wondering which of his siblings I'd have to pay for this expensive looking gem. When I got dressed and hauled myself downstairs I was surprised to see Charlie still there.

"Hey dad, what are you still doing here?" I asked. "Not that it's not good to see you."

"Morning Bella." he grumbled. "Did you hear what happened last night in Port Angeles?"

I turned around slowly, hoping my confusion would be attributed to tiredness.

"No?" I said slowly. "But I don't _hear_ much these days." I tried to joke.

"Four guys were assaulted, and dropped unconscious on the steps of the police building. All of them had outstanding warrants for arrest." he shook his head in amazement. It took me a second to come up with an appropriately 'Bella' response.

"So what you're telling me is Batman moved to Port Angeles?"

"Funny Bella. Hilarious." He grumbled, signing 'funny' in a very sarcastic way. I was actually proud of him for that. He suddenly stood up and grabbed me into a hug, a tight one which squeezed my sore ribs and I made sure not to make a noise of pain. Charlie rarely did show outward bursts of emotion. This must have gotten him really upset. "You were _there_ last night. If this guy who rounded these men up wasn't there... I mean, you're a trouble magnet Bella. You could have easily been attacked, or worse. I never thought your luck would be so bad and so strong." I heard every word he had to say, as his mouth was at my ear. I hugged back, breathing through the pain.

"Dad, I'm okay. I promise you. The only scrapes I've got to show are from the acquisition of a chair." Not a lie. "Besides, I was with Angela and Jess, shopping, not fighting crime in a dark alleyway. I'm good." Still not a lie in sight. I was doing pretty well.

He straightened up, nodding, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

"I'll probably be out late tonight Bells, Billy invited me over for a pre-game dinner. You're welcome to come of course."

"Football and fish? No thanks. I'll be fine. I'll spend the evening with Angela again or something." I said, waving at him as he made his way to the door. After he left I ate my cereal, staring out of the kitchen window at the foggy green trees, thinking about my crime-fighting duo. A model-like doctor and his model-like 4.0 GPA son. Not the most likely candidates for the next Bruce and Dick combo. Still, thinking about Edward in superhero get-up was sort of hilarious, and yet kind of sexy somehow. I shook my head at my own musings and checked my watch. I was going to be late for school. I grabbed my school bag, jacket, and keys, and then headed outside. The fog surrounding the house was so thick that I almost missed the person resting on the hood of my truck. For a second it truly scared me, and then I relaxed when I recognised the tan jacket and bronze hair.

"Edward?" I asked, in more of a surprised acknowledgment than a question. He smiled, signing a 'good morning' in return.

"I forgot you do that now." I squinted my eyes at him, semi-disapproving at how quickly he'd picked up ASL, and half honoured that he'd done it for me. I unlocked my truck, and he opened the cab door for me. "Did you run here?"

"Yes. Could I catch a ride with you this morning Miss Swan?" he asked, grinning.

"Coulda texted me a heads up." I grumbled, then changed tact. "So we're definitely officially beyond the ignoring each other for fun then?" I asked with a cheeky grin. He rolled his eyes at me, as if that should have been obvious. "Sure you can ride with me. Is the Bat-mobile in for cleaning?"

After I had climbed in, and closed my door, he had whipped around the truck and situated himself into the passenger seat. His door slammed only seconds after mine.

"Can I clarify something?" he asked, looking amused. I flashed a 'go ahead' at him, as I turned on the truck and began backing out. "Is it the bat-mobile because of last night's escapade, or because you believe I can turn into a bat?"

I laughed aloud. I hadn't even considered that. "Well can you?"

"It isn't one of my talents, no." he chuckled. Then his face grew serious. "The Volvo is fine. Being driven in by my siblings today."

I was causing discord in his family. I could sense that. The once solid unit of the Cullen household had fractured, and I was the cause. We were quiet for a few moments as I drove, thinking, and then he spoke up again.

"No twenty questions today?"

"Do my questions bother you?" I countered, glancing quickly to the side. He was studying me. I looked hurriedly ahead again; glad to have the road to focus on.

"Not as much as your reactions."

"I react badly?"

"The opposite. You take everything so -" he said, quieting down for the last word. I wouldn't press him on it. I knew what he had intended.

"Well what do you expect me to do? Throw holy water and get out the garlic press?" I glanced over to see his scowl.

"Miss."

"Did you say 'miss'?" I asked, looking back at the road, and signing an 's' with my left hand.

"Legend." He re-stated louder. Ah, myth.

"So no bats, no garlic, no holy water, I'm guessing crosses and silver don't do any good either. Obviously you come out in the daytime... They didn't get much right at all did they?"

He signed a simple 'no' within my field of view, and the rest of the short trip was silent. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw Angela getting out of her car, and looking over at me, and then the shock registering on her face as she realised I was not alone. She smiled to herself, and continued getting her things together, leaning on her car, and no doubt waiting for me. I blushed, thinking about how I was supposed to explain this.

"So what exactly should I be telling people about why you're in my truck this morning?" I asked as I pulled into a space a few cars down from Angela. Edward stared at me, looking slightly confused, as if he hadn't thought this all the way through.

"You could say that my siblings and I fought. They left me on the side of the road, and you took pity." He smiled at me, though his smile was dark.

"That isn't overly far from the truth is it?" I asked him, looking straight into his amber eyes. He looked calm, and distant, and he only broke my stare as he began to get out of the truck.

"Can I ask one more before you go?" I chimed, hoping to lighten the suddenly dark mood. He looked back at me, cautious, but optimistic.

"Do you spy on me through others at school?" I had thought back to him laughing at Tyler's proposal to go to the dance, and the strange circumstances which had led to Tyler's ability to ask me at all. Edward's face suddenly lit up in a shameless grin.

"I'll see you at lunch." He evaded, and walked away from the truck, towards the cafeteria. I glared at his retreating form for a few seconds as I got out of my truck and made my way to Angela. We walked through the fog together to our first class.

"So, you found a chair you like?" She started.

"Yeah. It's surprisingly nice. Even matches my limited décor," I laughed. Which reminded me, I still needed to fork out some money for that. I frowned slightly, wondering how to broach that subject with Edward at lunch, and then Angela nudged me.

"Okay, I'm not normally pushy, but I am kind of curious…" she said gently, leaving her sentence open-ended. I chuckled, and repeated Edward's story about being kicked out of his car by his family. I tried not to enjoy it, but it did bring up some funny mental images. Angela smiled, and hoped aloud that they wouldn't fight for long. My mood darkened slightly then.

"I have a feeling it'll be a long and drawn out fight. I think they're fighting about me." I confided. If Edward was listening, then he'd hear my fears. If not, at least Angela could console me.

"Why would you think that?" she asked as we neared the building.

"I don't think his family likes change much, and I'm introducing a lot of it." I said, forlornly. Understatement of the year. I was adding uncertainty, some good old fashioned danger, exposure risk and most of all, potential for murder into their lives. Excellent start.

"I think it's worth it." Angela said, and then stopped, to hug me. "I think you're worth it." She gave me her usual binder of school notes that I could copy in the morning, and we parted ways.

My morning went smoothly enough after that, until Trigonometry. Apparently Jessica had noticed me with Edward Cullen this morning as well, which I was less prepared for. As soon as I entered the classroom I saw her curly hair bobbing in anxiousness, waiting to get the scoop. I'd miss everything she said unless I did this right. I winked at her conspiratorially and held up a 'be patient' finger. She settled down a little, and I got out a piece of paper, writing the word 'Go' in messy script at the top, and sliding it back to her. I also took out an identical sheet and began copying equations from Angela's notes.

When she slid it back to me, it said:

 _You and Edward Cullen ate lunch together last week, and now show up together for school this morning? What is going on? Are you two dating?_

I smiled, and wondered how mad Edward could possibly get if I elaborated a little.

 _I suppose so. Apparently he was kicked out of his car this morning by his siblings. I pulled over and picked him up cause he looked mad walking to school._

 _Why would they be fighting?_

 _Why would I know?_

I thought I did, but I wasn't going to admit that. Apparently this wasn't enough of a diversion for her.

 _So are you two DATING?_

She asked bluntly. I put my pen on the paper, and then folded it under the other one, writing another equation as Mr. Varner turned around again. When he was looking back at the board, writing his lesson down again, I answered Jessica's question.

 _I think we're having lunch together today. And he offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday. Does that count?_

 _YES! 3 W.O.W. Edward Cullen._

 _Tell me about it._

I shook my head in disbelief. Other than the absolutely impossible bad luck, and my apparent skill of mental silence, I couldn't figure out the attraction. I was average, even a little on the overweight side since my months of bed rest. My hair was brown, eyes were brown, skin was just as pale as everyone else in this sunless town. I had – in the words of Jane Austen – no money and no prospects. And he was… well… everything else.


	36. Chapter 36

Jessica managed to keep her peace for about five more minutes, during which time I tried to actually pay attention in class. Suddenly the piece of paper was slid away from my side of the desk and Jessica began writing again. I ignored her at first when she pushed it back toward me, writing the last equation Mr Varner had put up at the front. Then my eyes looked down.

 _Do you like him?_

I smiled, nodded, and continued class, knowing that the little action wouldn't be enough for Jessica. She reached across the desk to write again.

 _Do you LIKE like him?_

I put my pen to paper, and then thought hard. Edward was watching. What could I say?

 _A lot Jess. More than he likes me I daresay._

I smiled sadly, and focused back on the lesson. Jess didn't push anything further, but I could practically feel her need to know whatever gossip this managed to spit out. The class went by dreadfully slowly, but I still worried about seeing Edward at lunch. What would he say? What would he have thought about the note passing, and how it pertained to him? I didn't have long to worry. By the time I was finished copying over Angela's notes, Jessica had shot out of her seat because the bell had rung. I packed up my things, grabbing my jacket, and headed out into the hallway. I looked back over my shoulder to be sure I had everything and then slammed into a wall. A wall that then caught me. My head flicked back and I was in Edward Cullen's arms. He was shaking his head, amused that I'd wandered straight into him.

My hand went straight to my chest as I signed 'sorry'. He simply smiled at me, although he seemed to have some kind of negative mood behind it. As we walked to the cafeteria I noticed that we were getting a lot of stares. It wouldn't be ideal if we were going to have a private conversation of some kind, which was what Edward's moodiness seemed to indicate. I tugged his sleeve, indicating that we head towards the outdoors instead of the cafeteria. He followed me instantly, his facial expression not changing. When we were outside, I found that we were mostly alone. The benefits of high school life included some set routines and predictable social settings. I took a seat on the damp ground, tucking my coat under me to make sure my jeans wouldn't get wet. Edward crouched in front of me, in that squat that I thought couldn't possibly be comfortable.

"What's up?" I asked, gingerly.

"You told Jessica something that disturbed me."

"So that old idiom about eavesdropping is actually true?" I smirked. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"You knew I'd be listening in," he accused, in what I thought was a very weak argument.

"I did. I edited some of the note passing for your benefit in fact. Left out gushy details to look more mature and refined." I bit my lip to hide a smile as he glared. "It really bugs you that much that you can't hear me, doesn't it?"

He scowled as he signed emphatically. _I miss out on important things. My picture is incomplete at best._ He ran his hands through his hair and said; "I'm not used to feeling so limited, so… well, deaf."

I smiled at him, knowing exactly how he felt.

"I may be the only person in Forks who can properly understand what you're going through. To have such clarity in the world around you, a world which you take for granted for the most part, and then suddenly, everything is insufficient, unsatisfying. You have to work harder to do things that should come naturally and effortlessly." I trailed off, watching his frustration ebb, and turn into a caring smile.

"I suppose you do know exactly what it's like." He looked thoughtful for a few moments. "I'd never thought that my bizarre gift and lack thereof could be something I could share so easily, and better, have someone to relate to."

I shrugged, happy with the way the conversation had gone, and then dared to ask.

"So what were you unhappy about earlier?" I looked into his amber eyes as I waited and saw them tense slightly.

"You wrote something to Jessica. You wrote that you thought your affection for me was greater than mine for you." My heart skipped a beat. This was the thing he was concerned about? "And I think you're wrong."

I proceeded to blush, and bite my lip, and look away for a moment. When I looked back at him he was gazing at me with the same intensity I'd seen a few times before. It was almost intimidating, but felt natural at the same time. We sat quietly for a moment while I watched the dark sky roll by, and the misting rain falling onto the already sparkling black asphalt. Edward seemed to not mind the silence, and it was peaceful. I enjoyed even just being here with him. We didn't have to do or say anything, not that I wouldn't love it if we talked. Suddenly he nudged me to get my attention again.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What is it like? Your deafness? Not the clinical explanation, but what you hear, or don't hear, and how you'd compare it." He grinned at me. "For example. If I were to close my eyes right now, every sense in my body would tell me that you were sitting in front of me, but I wouldn't be able to hear you. I could, conversely, pinpoint the location of every other student in the school, despite not being able to sense them."

I looked up to the sky as I thought. "Sometimes, it's like I've put only one earbud in, and the song I'm playing needs two. You can hear the distant echo of the instruments or of the vocals, and then you hear certain instruments or singers really clearly, and sometimes nothing at all, until you switch the earbuds. Other times it feels like static. Like I'm driving on a highway and different radio stations cut in and out, with static mess between."

I thought about the van, and Port Angeles. "And apparently, in life or death kind of scenarios, when my heart starts going fast, and my adrenaline is high, I don't hear much at all. Everything disappears, and I can only hear my own heartbeat."

"And your voice, and your fathers… I mean I don't know how clearly I'm hearing it, but sometimes it sounds like music, like you're singing instead of speaking. In some ways it's easier to distinguish, but in others it's harder to hear. The other day in the truck you did pretty well yelling at me though, so when we're alone it's easier."

Edward continued to squat looking thoughtful for a while.

"Is it easier when I sign and speak? Or focus on one or the other?" He signed, and spoke.

"It depends what you're talking about. I'm newer to signing, so going fast with unfamiliar signs is almost more challenging than trying to read lips. Sometimes adding the signing helps, because I can place context and then understand better. I'm not picky I guess. I can do both, but I do lip-reading and hearing best, so if everyone could just light up when they started talking that'd be great." I looked at him again, remembering something. "You said that you'd just picked up signing last weekend. So far you look pretty experienced, so which is it?"

Edward ducked his head guiltily. "I had a lot of time on my hands this weekend. And Carlisle and Alice knew some already, so I devoted my time to learning. We –" he signed 'vampire' and said "have eidetic memories, and we learn very quickly."

"That is so unfair. How many languages do you speak exactly?" I asked, bemused.

"More than I'd care to admit. Some better than others. I've had a lot of time on my hands since I became what I am." He shrugged almost nonchalantly.

"Became?" My curiosity was piqued now. "I'm not sure why but it didn't occur to me that you weren't just born one. And what exactly do you mean by 'a lot' of time? How old are you?"

"How old are you?" he countered. I stuck my tongue out at him and signed 'nineteen'. That seemed to grab his interest, but he stored the question away, and sighed. "I'm seventeen. I've just been seventeen for a long while." He stopped there and I flicked his jacket to make him continue.

"I was born on June 20, in Chicago." And then he signed '1901'.

"Wow. You really are a grumpy old man." I chimed. It was his turn to flick my jacket.

"Do you remember when you were ill, and I admitted that I'd been sick once, with the flu?" he grinned mischievously at me and I thought back.

"Yeah. You said it'd hit you hard."

"I had said that it had _killed_ me actually. I meant it. That was when Carlisle had found me, dying of the Spanish influenza." He looked thoughtfully behind him. "We may want to continue this conversation later. The bell will be ringing soon."

I looked around myself, remembering that we were essentially two high school kids, hanging in the parking lot and it seemed surreal. Like the detailed supernatural world we had delved into temporarily was more real than the world I had just been dropped back into.

"Right. Biology." I stood up enthusiastically, and then scowled. "And gym."

"Gym isn't really your forte is it?"

"Too much going on, too much to look for, too much I can't hear. Plus I'm not that coordinated." I stretched and sighed. "And I'm still sore from yesterday." I admitted. His face darkened.

"How are your ribs?"

I unzipped my coat, and lifted my shirt. The bruise was pretty colourful. His teeth clamped together in anger, and his hands wrung in dismay. "I could probably get you out of gym."

"No no. I gotta do my time. Don't do anything illegal or supernatural while I'm there either." I grinned nudging him with my arm.

"Well I can promise I won't do anything illegal."

We walked to biology together as I glared at him. "Seriously. I'm fine. Let me have gym, and get it over and done with." I felt like I was bargaining with a child. "And if you do, you can come over after school. We can keep talking, if you like."

Suddenly I felt shy, hoping that I wasn't being too forward. He looked back at me, lifting his hand to gently touch my chin.

"I'd like that."


	37. Chapter 37

**You guys are my soul! Love you tons and tons! I'm glad that my writing makes you happy, and I'll continue as long as y'all are still enjoying!**

I tried not to be overly excited as we walked together slowly away from the cafeteria, headed to our next class. He'd touched my chin in such a gentle way, a caring way. I definitely felt like I'd been dropped into a novel of some kind. A gentle caress was not something teenage boys of this day and age did. When we walked into the science building I felt my stomach rumble, and suddenly Edward grabbed my arm. I looked up, worried, to his concerned face.

"You haven't eaten?" he asked. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Eidetic memory huh? You were awake this lunch period, weren't you?" We had walked straight from class to the outdoors for our private discussion. He quickly looked over his shoulder and suddenly someone was in front of me. His sibling, the tiny one, who always looked like she was dancing; Alice. Her short spiky hair stood out at odd angles from her head, and her grin had the enthusiasm to match it.

"Bella. It's nice to meet you. I'm Alice," she shot Edward an almost condescending glare and then handed me a granola bar. "I grabbed you a chocolate chip one because it seems to be a student favourite."

I blinked a couple of times before taking the bar from her. "Thank you, I –" I wasn't even sure what I was about to say, but she cut me off with a wink.

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you soon." And with another meaningful look at the now annoyed looking Edward, she danced away. It looked as smooth as if she were on ice skates. I looked back at him. Those were questions I hadn't asked yet. What did his family think of me? Obviously at least Alice and Carlisle liked me enough to feed me and defeat villains for me. Instead of getting into any deep questions I wouldn't be able to get real answers from, I settled on something light as we continued walking.

"So how often do you eat exactly?" I asked. Obviously 3-5 times a day wasn't really in his schedule, or he wouldn't have seemed so annoyed with himself for forgetting. I didn't hear his response, but it was slowly spoken and articulated thoroughly so that I could read his lips, so I assumed he was not actually speaking. Private communication for the win.

"It depends on what I'm doing. Before I met you, I was practiced enough to wait about a month between meals. Some of us need to eat as regularly as weekly. Now that I'm spending so much time near you, I've increased to about three times a week."

"Sorry I'm causing an increase in appetite." I scrunched my nose, upset that I was causing him discomfort even now. He laughed, and then began speaking aloud again.

"Oh I'm sure the deer population will rebound."

I wanted to chuckle, but I had never really considered what he ate before. Jacob had told me that the Cullen clan preyed on animals, not humans, but I'd never thought of what animals that entailed.

"Well if they don't I've got a family of squirrels I can donate."

Edward started laughing wholeheartedly as we entered Biology. I quickly scarfed my granola bar and we sat down together, getting ample stares from our classmates. I realised that they weren't staring at me, but at Edward. They'd probably barely heard him speak, let alone laugh, and let alone laugh loudly enough that I could hear it. I bit my lip as I tried desperately not to blush. Was I really bringing out that much of a change in him? And if I could see that about him, I wondered what he could see about me.

Class was ordinary, and awesome. Edward's notes were a perfect transcript of Mr. Banner's voice, so he moved his page into the center of the desk and I read along as he wrote and drew. His diagram copying took a tenth of the time that Mr Banner used. I had no doubt that with Edward's notes I would never miss another second of Biology class. Class passed surprisingly quickly, and then Edward and I went our separate ways.

I made sure to be last to change so that no one would see the bruising I had obtained from yesterday. I claimed to need to untangle my ipod earbuds, and proceed to untangle them for much longer than was necessary, until I was basically alone in the changeroom. The last girl hurried her way out and I flipped my shirt off, and grabbed my gym shirt. I did not need questions about my sudden beaten up chest. I trotted out into the gym just as Clapp began sending us off onto courts. Mike was my gym partner, as always, but he seemed grumpier today. We spent most of the hour not talking, as he played sports and I played hide and seek with the dangerous objects around. It wasn't until I narrowly avoided tripping over my own feet and into him did he start talking to me.

"Sooooo… you and Cullen eh?" he managed. Articulate.

"Yeah, I guess. It's still pretty new." Literally yesterday new. I bit my lip and threw out, "Jessica got a great dress last night. I'm sure you'll look amazing together at the dance. Did you get her a corsage or are you saving that for prom?"

It took him a second with the redirect, but he answered. "I was saving that for prom. But I guess I could get her something. Like a flower for her hair or something?"

"That sounds perfect Mike. Go pink or red and you won't clash." I said, hoping that the conversation was safe. I was wrong.

"Thanks," he put his hand through his hair as we walked back towards the changing rooms. I'd managed to dodge death for a whole hour, an yet somehow it felt like minutes. "Are you taking Cullen to the dance?"

I sighed. "I'm still not going to be in town Mike. Not going dancing. End of story." I was kind of annoyed with him now. "What exactly do you have against Edward, Mike?"

I turned to face him square on, so I wouldn't miss what he said. He looked taken aback by my direct question, and then tried to look casual and cool again.

"I dunno. He's just – he's always so quiet, and then even when he looks at you. He looks at you like you're something to eat or something."

I tried really hard not to laugh, but it slipped out, and then I couldn't stop myself. Mike shrugged it off, kind of embarrassed with himself, and I laughed all the way into the changing room. This time round I didn't have to wait too long to hide m shirt changing. Everyone bolted out of the room, excited to get home for the day. After I was done changing back into what my father would call 'civilian' clothing, I walked out into the hallway, to find Edward leaning up against a locker. He immediately took my schoolbag from me, even though I tried to avoid it. I shook my head as we walked. Edward looked over my shoulder at Mike Newton and scowled.

"I'm starting to think I might have to do something about Newton."

I didn't respond, instead opting to dramatically roll my eyes at him. Apparently even very old boys were still boys. We walked in the rain to my truck and Edward got into the passenger side, moping. At first I thought he was still moping about Mike, but then I remembered that he hated being a passenger. Well he could get used to it. I started up the truck engine, fanning my hair in front of the heater and Edward leant away from me, tensing. I instinctually froze. When he didn't relax for a minute, I slowly signed 'What?'

"Give me a moment." He pinched the bridge of his nose, gritted his teeth, and then took a long, slow, deep breath. When he looked at me his eyes seemed excited. What had I missed? I dared to sign 'what' again, and he began signing back.

 _Drive. I'll explain on the way._

"I won't be able to hear you." I whispered sadly.

"You will." He said, turning his head and leaning against the window away from me. I backed the truck out and began driving home. When he didn't begin speaking I tried to dissuade the tension.

"So that family of squirrels I was offering for sacrifice…"

I saw him smile grimly as I looked over quickly.

"I'm sorry. You… smelled very good."

"That's normally a compliment, but I'm sensing that's not a good thing?" I wasn't sure how to fix it.

"I told you that I've been hunting more frequently since I met you."

"Yes. It was something I wanted to ask about, since obviously you've had other people around and it wasn't a problem before. But then I just kind of assumed it was all the life-saving and anger that was making you stress eat." I smiled at him, and he started to relax a little.

"Do you take anything seriously?" I couldn't detect tone, but his face looked annoyed.

"You try going what I've been through and tell me what your take on being serious is." I'd been through enough hardships that I knew taking myself and others too seriously led to nothing but sadness and annoyance.

"I'm sorry. I suppose you're right. Maybe I am stress eating as you call it. The other problem is that you have a very unique scent to me. It's… it's indescribably attractive."

"Like the best brand of popcorn?" I recalled our movie food analogy from before, as I pulled into my driveway.

"Popcorn isn't strong enough."

 _Better than popcorn?_ I signed in mock horror. He was suddenly not to my right in the truck cab, and instead opening my door for me, from the left. He leaned in, to stare straight into my eyes.

"Better than popcorn."

I had more questions, but my truck didn't feel like the place to be discussing them. I switched off the engine, and looked at Edward.

"Shall we continue this indoors?" I smiled. He offered a hand to help me out of the truck, and we walked toward my house. Charlie wasn't home, so I knew I'd have some privacy, but then I also frantically tried to remember the state of my room. I thought it was clean enough, but to be safe, we'd stay in the kitchen. As we walked in, Edward's sharp eyes looked around. I kicked off my shoes and tugged my school bag off of his shoulder. I led him to the kitchen, where I dumped my school books on the table.

"So I have two pressing questions for you."

Edward looked at me with concern.

"One, can we take turns asking questions for a while?"

"Of course. And the second?" he looked curious.

"Can I offer you a squirrel?" I pointed to the tree outside the kitchen window.


	38. Chapter 38

**Short, sweet, squirelly, speedy, and an unsatisfying cliffy. Sorry folks, and I'll do my best to speedily write the next chapter.**

My comment about squirrels didn't seem to amuse him. I began to sign a sorry, and instead switched to ask a question.

 _What do you eat? Other than deer._

He stayed serious as he answered in sign and speech.

"Deer, lions, bears, wolves. I've probably tried most mammals on the North American continent. Unfortunately, with brothers like mine, that diet does include squirrels." His last words were punctured with a smile. "Emmett has probably tried most living mammals on the planet. He'd made it a mission to try 'one of everything' as he puts it, so I'm sure you'd be able to ask him what the strangest furry feast he's had is, and get some entertainment from the answer."

"Hmmm. I can't even imagine that. Don't you get fur in your mouth?" I wrinkled my nose as he laughed again.

"I hadn't really thought about it before. I could make the analogy of tough skin on a fruit, perhaps like a peach or kiwi, you just kind of get used to it." He looked bemusedly at me. "I am also starting to wonder if your brain isn't thinking like the rest of the population, and that's why I can't pick it up."

 _I think differently than normal?_ I confirmed. He nodded in a 'sort of' fashion. "It's my leading theory. You could just be on the AM frequency and I'm only detecting FM."

"Ouch. Different and outdated." I scowled at myself, "Lucky me." He shrugged reassuringly in response.

"I can't describe it sufficiently. All I know is that I can't read you, and that is one of the many factors that makes you the most interesting thing in my life."

I blushed, and turned away, pretending to need a glass of water. I was the most interesting thing in his life?

"Well, I'm sure all the near death experiences do keep you on your toes." I managed to squeak out after trying to calm the smile from my face.

"Definitely. I've never met someone more prone to danger. You're a universal distress signal waiting to happen… But that isn't the most interesting thing about you by far. You're an enigma to me in many ways, and everything I learn about you opens up a world of new questions. It's intriguing."

I sat back down at the kitchen table, making myself busy organizing my school books. I moved my wallet from the pile I had unceremoniously dumped, and suddenly remembered the leather chair I had upstairs.

"Oh – how much do I owe you?" I asked, looking back at him. His forehead creased with confusion as he signed 'What?'. I grabbed my wallet, and peeked inside. I had $80. It wasn't remotely enough, but I could make a deposit. "For the desk chair upstairs…" I reminded him. Edward's eyes widened in understanding. Eidetic memory fail number three.

"Nothing Bella." He said, and signed, spelling out my name. I'd correct him on that in a second. Right now I was fighting for my chance to pay for the ridiculously nice chair I had inherited.

"Edward. It was someone's chair, and now I own it. I'm paying somebody for that chair." I pulled out the $80, glaring meaningfully at him. He did not back down. I tried a different tactic. "Please? It would stop my worrying about it. Clear my conscience. You did so much for me that night already. Please?"

Edward's firm façade faltered as I begged.

"How about we figure out something else as payment?" he said. I'm sure that either my brain was extremely dirty, or that hadn't exactly come out as he'd intended. I had mere seconds to respond before I was sure he would realise how that phrase could be misconstrued.

"Oh really, Mr. Cullen?" I seductively slid the shoulder of my sweater down over my t-shirt, trying my best to keep my smile from breaking into laughter. His face widened in alarm.

"That isn't what I meant either Isabella." He scolded, and now it was my turn to recoil in alarm.

"Not the full name please. Bella." I signed the word 'bell' to him with a 'b' to start, just as I had shown Angela. "I only get full-named when I'm in trouble with my mother."

"Bella." Edward repeated, signing my name as he spoke it. I drank some of the water I had collected earlier.

"Well, what is it exactly you do want as payment? And don't ask for driving rights. That's an immediate no go."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He held up his hands reassuringly. "But while we're on the subject…" he looked down and I instinctively thought he might be speaking in tones I might not be able to hear. I relaxed when I remembered that Edward did not unintentionally evade my understanding, like my other friends did. He was simply collecting his thoughts. His hands pressed together and he laid them on the table.

"I was wondering if I might be able to ask two things of you, in payment for the chair." He didn't continue and that was very open ended.

"It definitely depends on what those two things are." I hedged. "For example… grizzly bear baiting is a little outside of my skill set."

He smiled again, and continued. "First of all, I was wondering if on Saturday you might want to change our Seattle plans, and instead spend the day with me, doing something? We can still take the Volvo if you'd prefer to drive the car over your truck."

"What something did you have in mind?" I wasn't agreeing to anything outrageous or dangerous, if I could avoid it. Not that – in hindsight – Edward would have signed me up for anything dangerous.

"Well, it'll be sunny – so I have to do my best to stay out of the public eye. I was wondering if you'd like to visit a meadow I frequent when the weather is pleasant?" He looked nervous somehow, as if he were worried I might say no.

"Of course. That sounds better than what I had planned anyway." I reached out to stroke his hand gingerly. He let me, watching my fingers as I touched his icy marble skin. "And what was the second thing?"

He opened his hand slowly, letting me stroke his palm. He seemed utterly distracted by it, and I traced his fingers, and the delicate looking lines on his palm that were anything but breakable.

"I was wondering if you might tell me what happened to you that made you so afraid of moving vehicles?"

Ah. I sat quietly for a second. I suppose if we were going to continue this relationship we seemed to be developing, then I ought to tell him anyway. I probably should have explained this by now to someone, Angela at least. Edward seemed like he wasn't going to pity me. So far any obstacles I had thrown his way he treated me the same. As if it all came in the package and I wasn't broken. He didn't seem to care, and his patience – no doubt honed by a hundred years of chilling as a vampire – was endless. His pity was not something I felt like I would receive today. I felt like the only emotions I could pull form him were ones of understanding rather than sympathy. I had obviously been quiet for longer than he deemed was proper, and he back tracked.

"You don't have to tell me anything. I was just curious." He looked desperate, and as I opened my mouth to reassure him, he interjected "You could come and meet my family instead if that's a more appealing option."

It was my turn to raise my hands in a reassuring gesture. "Hold up. First of all, sure. I should have probably told you before this point really. If I wasn't so stubborn it could have been widely known and you wouldn't even be wondering right now. Second of all, I'd love to meet your family, and that should definitely still be on the table as payment. Although we probably shouldn't tell them I came to meet them because they donated a chair. The boyfriend thing seems much more plausible." I winked at him, to assure him I was fine, and at ease. He guardedly relaxed, obviously still worried he'd stepped over a boundary.

"Well of course. Wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Besides, they'd probably get into the habit of donating things to people to lure them to our vampire lair." Edward joked. "Slaughtering innocent townsfolk seems like an expensive endeavour suddenly."

I grinned this time. I found it bizarrely relaxing to joke about his supernatural status. I imagined a line of people coming to thank the generous doctor and his family for their new belongings and meeting the Addams family version of the siblings I'd seen at school. Unlikely was an understatement.

I picked up the glass of water again, and took a sip. Where to begin?


	39. Chapter 39

**AN: Here's the Bella backstory finally!**

I mimicked Edward's posture, pressing my hands together and I looked down at them. How to begin this story? Probably right at the beginning. Safe bet. I looked out of the kitchen window, watching a squirrel run around a tree outside. I made sure to keep my gaze affixed on the small rodent as he or she worked on doing the little squirrel things squirrels do. It would be easier than looking into the intense eyes of the man sitting across the table from me.

"I've always been accident prone. I'm not a very coordinated person, and I've had more trips to the hospital than Carlisle I'd wager. It's made for an interesting life. My mom is also not very responsible. She's a very good person, and a very good mother, but she's a little scatterbrained and she goes through different phases of things very quickly. She's not overly good at remembering things if I don't remind her. I love her to pieces, and she's my best friend, and I don't remotely blame her for anything... but it was a series of unfortunate remembrances and my lack of coordination that led to me getting into a car accident that almost killed me."

It didn't feel like I was telling this right already.

"I love my mom. She's warm, kind-hearted, funny, and much prettier than me. She's adventurous, and exciting and everything I'm not really. I have too much Charlie in me. I like the solitude, and avoid people if I can. I blush easily, and once I have made a decision I am more unshakeable than she is. She's very easily swayed." I smiled, remembering the time I talked her out of sky diving. "Anyway, one night I was staying after school, really late. I'm relatively sure I was tutoring or something similar, but it's kind of foggy. I had asked her to come pick me up afterwards, as we lived half a city away from the school. And I guess she'd forgotten the time, or maybe the place. Something. The point is, I started to walk towards the closest bus terminal, figuring I could fork out the cash and take public transit faster than trying to track down my mother and her non-existent cell-phone skills."

My mind walked me back to a dark night on a city street as I stumbled along the pavement with a heavy backpack. I wasn't angry, just annoyed. It would take hours to get home, and by that point Renee would have undoubtedly panicked, checked for her dead phone, then rushed around the house trying to find a charger so that she could call me, and so forth. By that point I could have gotten home.

"It started raining. I have nothing against rain, really, when I'm prepared for it, but it suddenly started pouring. We were in Phoenix. I've got no coat, and a bag full of books, so I start running, and end up running out accidentally in front of a car with no lights on." I winced at that memory. She hadn't been going very fast, and I had only been clipped, my one leg fetching a pretty nasty bump. "I was fine, but the driver felt awful. I recognised her as soon as she got out. Her name was Sarah I think, and she was wearing a t-shirt from my high-school. She had brilliantly red hair. The point is that she recognised me too. And since she'd just hit me with a car, she offered me a ride home."

I thought about her face. How scared she'd been that I was hurt. "She was so worried about me that I thought I might have to drive her to the ER for a panic attack. She wouldn't stop apologizing the whole drive. From the moment I had gotten into the car, she'd began prattling on with more apologies, while I tried to convince her that it was my fault for running out into the road, and not looking properly. We eventually called it a draw in the stupid department. And shortly after that..."

My leg ached, no doubt a psychosomatic murmuring of pain. I rubbed my hand against my thigh as I started up again.

"Well I'm not sure what hit us. But something did. Lights. I remember headlights flashing by in the dark rain. I could hardly see out of the window. When I looked back to the dashboard, I noticed we were going way too fast. She was so flustered she wasn't watching her speed. And then I don't really know what happened."

I closed my eyes and focused on the memory. This was the dream that had haunted my nights. The spinning and the pain. One thing at a time.

"The car jerked. I'm not sure which direction. I remember the surreal feeling of quietness. My hair spinning around my face like a windmill. I remember looking towards Sarah, and then suddenly there was noise again. Another jerk, a crash landing I suppose, part of the car folded in on itself and my femur snapped."

I rubbed my leg, wincing in remembrance. My eyes were still firmly closed as I continued. I couldn't hear anything around me. Edward might not even be there anymore. "I remember waking up disoriented, and being upside down. When I looked to the car roof there was a pool of blood. I could feel it dripping, tickling as it ran up my throat and off of my head." My hands traced the path as I spoke. "I tried to get myself free, and then looked over to Sarah. She…"

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I looked into a pair of calm eyes. I could feel the tears welling.

"She didn't make it. The steering column had gone straight through her chest. As I looked down, or up, whatever, at my leg, I could literally see bone. It had carved a path out of my leg and into my abdomen – all the way to my uterus actually, where I was all curled up from the compression. But as I looked up, a stream of blood ended up in my mouth, and I started drowning. I started vomiting up blood, both from my injuries, and what I'd just swallowed..."

My breath and my speech were increasing in speed as I started to essentially panic. I could taste acid in my mouth and my head was feeling dizzy. Suddenly my cheeks were cold I opened my eyes to see Edward's face right in front of me. All I could see were his amber eyes. I'm not sure how long we were that close, but I calmed down. Eventually Edward let go of me, and backed away slightly. He had been kneeling in front of me, waiting. Although he backed away, he stayed kneeling, and wrapped his hands around mine.

"Thank you." I took another deep breath. "I'm nearly done my epic saga." I tried to smile. Edward smiled reassuringly at me.

"Take your time. I'm here for you." His voice was loud and strong. Unmissable.

"Well. Whatever head injuries I sustained managed to wipe out something. Again, I'm not sure if it's my actual ears, or the processing of sound, or something in my brain. I just don't hear like I used to. So there were therapy trips, physiotherapy trips, weight gain, weight loss, needle track marks from medications and tests… I missed almost a year of school in rehabilitation and hospitals. By the time I got back to school I was a year and a half behind and the people at school started treating me differently. I couldn't hear things I used to. It was a hard adjustment period."

I scowled remembering their worried, egg-shell demeanour.

"The teachers and people I did know didn't adjust easily to my new situation. Everyone stared, and talked, and pitied, and egg-shelled. I couldn't deal with it anymore." I thought about Phil and Renee, I'd forgotten their role in this story.

"Mom had been married, just before my accident, so she had a support system and she was my support system too. But even they were unsure about my new limitation. Deafness is a strange thing for people to wrap their heads around."

I looked back at Edward, who had never had a problem wrapping his head around it.

"Well most people have a problem. You're a strange cookie." I touched a section of his hair, gently, marvelling at the softness. "I never really fit in with the deaf community either, because I can hear and speak. I can't sign very well, or very fast, and I'm basically at a child's level in their world."

Distracted by his hair, I moved my other hand to it.

"I don't really fit in anybody's world."

I looked at his amber eyes again as he was still kneeling reassuringly before me.

"You fit in my world," he said, reaching his hand up to touch my face.


	40. Chapter 40

I stared at him for a few moments. He thought I fit in his world? Me? Accidents, deafness and my two year (or hundred year – depending on how you viewed it) age difference aside… I was ordinary, and he was… well, Edward.

"That's nice of you to say." I carefully enunciated. I love you too, I thought to myself. His eyes filled with sadness.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

I avoided answering and smiled at the table. "So are we going to talk about your tragic story? Or is this evening of revelations a one way street?"

He didn't respond for a second, and I thought I had missed it, so I looked up at him in concern, but he held a hand out, with a single finger pointing up in a gesture of 'wait', tilting his head as if he were listening to something.

"Your father and a few friends are dropping by." Edward signed and said. His face was a little dark and moody, as if this were not news he was overly excited about. "They're about a minute away."

I'm sure my face relayed my panic and confusion – Charlie said he would be out late tonight, and then my disappointment at not having more time to spend with him.

"I'm assuming this wouldn't be the best time to be introduced to your father?" he raised an eyebrow in jest.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin." I admitted. I had said I was spending tonight with Angela probably, and here I was with a boy in my house when I thought Charlie was away? Not ideal. He furrowed his brow, considering something.

"Would you mind if I came back to visit you tonight? Not for any nefarious purposes," he grinned, as I raised my eyebrows in a taunting way. "But to share my story with you?"

"And how exactly would you sneak past the Chief of Police?" I asked. "I thought you said you couldn't turn into a bat."

He laughed, rose, and stroked my hair. He began heading towards the back door.

"I'll be back when it's clear, and I promise I won't be detected."

"I'm not sure what to say about a man sneaking into my room at night. What will the neighbours say?" I asked, half blushing, folding my hands under my chin. I was glad we were ending on this happy, and exhilarating note. Edward bowed, mischievously, and disappeared. I felt a gentle rush of cool air from behind me, and turned back to observe my surroundings. I had a glass of water on the table beside a stack of school books. I quickly opened a couple, tied up my hair, and made myself look as comfy as possible, instead of the on-edge, heart-racing I was feeling. A few moments later, I saw the flash of headlights pull into the driveway through the front bay window.

I tried to look casual and confused as Charlie walked into the entranceway. I could see him from here. He was still in his police gear, and he hung his gun belt and jacket up quickly, before disappearing outside again. When he returned he was backing through the door, pulling a short figure through. I immediately recognised the long, silky black and grey hair of Billy Black, who was being wheeled in by my father, up our awkward stairs. Shortly after the reversing old men came my truck mechanic, Jacob Black. I grinned, and got out of my seat, rubbing my leg as I stretched it out and walked over to them. Jacob saw me first, signing a hello with the salute he'd no doubt picked up from Charlie.

"Hey Jacob, Billy, Dad. Can I help with anything?"

"Hey Bella. We were going to – and the TV cracked out – came here." Charlie said. He had turned his head away from me a couple of times, gesturing towards our guests, so I had missed things, but I go the gist.

"So you're watching the game here tonight? I'm sorry – I didn't make any dinner…" I gestured to the kitchen, where the 'evidence' of my schoolwork lay. I really would have to dedicate at least a few hours tonight to it.

"That's okay Bella." Billy's voice surprised me. I wasn't sure if he usually talked in such a booming way, or if he was raising the level for my sake. "We'll order in. Jacob I think it's been at least a good couple of weeks since we had pizza." He wheeled himself over to the couch, pulling himself into a comfortable position on it. Jacob followed me into the kitchen, while Charlie dialed his phone. Probably a pizza place I supposed. Jacob sat down at the kitchen table across from me.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked, and then asked another. "And how would you sign that?"

I signed 'what's this' with him, and then looked down at my books. What had I cracked open? Trigonometry.

"It's trig. I'm not very good at it." I offered. Jacob looked in fear at the equations.

"Not looking forward to that." He turned his nose up. "I also suppose I'll have Ms. Whistler for that, and I hate her."

"I don't know her, but I'm pretty sure there's a universal dislike of math teachers built into teenage bodies. I don't exactly love my trig teacher either." I pushed the book aside, a question popping into my mind.

"What is school on the reservation like Jake?" I asked, knowing it wasn't a politically correct line of questioning, but knowing he wouldn't mind.

"There's less of you pale faces around that's for sure." He joked quietly, making sure I read his lips. He was obviously trying to avoid a chastising from his father, who was just in the other room. I smiled, enjoying the comment, and sticking out my tongue as an appropriately adult response. "It's good. We tend to learn more about history and politics than you do I think. More about how things used to be, cultural heritage, legends and stories, songs and even languages sometimes. I suck at that part though. It's funny – I'm pretty good at learning ASL, but my ancestral tongue? Too many rules man. I think I'm better with my hands, learning that way."

I nodded, picturing how it would be. I would love to take a peek into that world sometime too.

"What did you think we did? Run around the forest hunting all day?" he laughed.

"Absolutely." I kept my voice and face as serious as possible. "Headdress making, dreamcatcher weaving, chanting around fires, the whole Hollywood shindig." I barely got to the word 'weaving' before my face cracked into a smile.

"Actually…" Jacob laughed. "I did learn how to do a bunch of that stuff, so I suppose I can't laugh at you too much."

"That's actually really cool Jacob. I get forced through trig and gym and you get epic mystical arts and crafts time." I held up my hands in a 'WTF' gesture and he shrugged.

"I can't help you there. I suppose I could teach you how to make your own epic mystical arts and crafts, if you taught me some sign stuff." He bartered eagerly. I nodded in agreement.

"Deal." I said, and signed. Jacob copied the word, and the sign, and then looked around eagerly.

"Alright, what do you wanna make?" he asked, sort of confused. I looked back at him in disbelief.

"Uh – I thought you were supposed to be watching a game right now." I nodded my head towards the living room where our fathers were undoubtedly talking sports statistics and plays in front of the television. I couldn't hear it, just a bubbling of general sound coming from the flickering bright light behind Jacob's back.

"I came for you actually." He shrugged his shoulders. "The game is of minimal interest. I wanted to see how you were suffering, how the Tank was faring, and now I get to teach you how to build shit."

I sneered at him comically. "I'm suffering well thanks." I couldn't exactly tell him about the most interesting parts of my week, but I could fill him in on the minor details. "Acquired a new desk chair, helped some friends dress-shop, fell behind on homework, went for a marathon like run… the usual really."

"And the Tank?"

"Still lumbering." I shook my head at how easy it was to talk to him. It was as though we had been close friends for years. He spoke with a loud boom that made it very hard to miss what he was saying, and always faced me. He didn't have Edward's explicit enunciation or immaculate signing knowledge, but he wasn't hard to communicate with.

"How about dream catchers?" he asked.

"To make?" I clarified. He nodded, and gestured out my window.

"We could start now. Go grab some sticks."

I looked at him, then at the dusk-lit forest that was eerily close to night. It was also raining outside and I was warm and comfortable.

"Soft pass. Next time. It's wet and dark." I tried to explain.

"That's what she said." He quipped back. I bit my lip as I tried to hold back my laughter. Seriously? Dirty jokes was where we were headed now. I shook my head in fake disappointment.

"I expected better from you Jake."

"That's what she said." He repeated, laughing harder. I kicked him swiftly, not honoring him with a response, but I could tell that he knew I found it hilarious. Not in front of our dads though. That was just weird. I couldn't tell how loudly we were actually talking, or how much they could hear. Maybe I should have taken Jacob's offer on dreamcatcher supply collection.

"Go watch the game. I have homework to do." I kicked him again, smiling still and he ruffled my hair as he stood. I had to pull it out of my ponytail and put it back up, frowning grumpily at him as he headed to the living room.

It wasn't long before pizza arrived, and the boys insisted I come eat and watch the game with them. I grabbed some pizza, and did my best to focus on the television. Charlie even turned the subtitles on for me, before I made him switch them off; they covered a lot of the screen, and during important play backs we would miss things. I tried to pay attention, but my mind kept drifting back to Edward, and his promise to return tonight. What questions would I even ask? I supposed it depended on what direction his story took as he told it. I picked at the remnants of my pizza and suddenly the TV was switched off. I looked around in confusion, seeing the men animatedly discussing the game. Jacob and Charlie were rooting for the same team, and had pleased looks on their faces. Billy was grumpy looking.

I stuck around long enough to say my goodbyes and remind Jacob that we'd be doing 'epic crafting time' sometime soon. After Billy and Jacob were loaded back into their truck and headed home I said my goodnight to Charlie. My stomach was knotting in anticipation. Butterflies. I had butterflies. Some secret alone time with a love interest in my room. Even without the 'nefarious' shenanigans that would be expected of two teenagers sneaking into a room at night, I still felt nervous and shy somehow. I was sharing my bedroom, my sanctuary with someone soon. That thought both terrified and thrilled me.


	41. Chapter 41

**I am so so so sorry it's been so long. I've been sneakily writing this at work because I've had no time! Enjoy! Next one shouldn't be as long a wait.**

I tried to clean my room a little before I headed to the shower. Not a real clean, just the kind of clean where things are tucked away under the bed and dirty clothes piled in one spot instead of several. I thought about making my bed, but as I began to approach it I caught a glint of movement outside through the window. I focused on the tree outside of my window and saw a crouched figure on the branch. I flicked off my light, so that the contrast between the outside and inside would disappear and suddenly I could see him perfectly.

Edward Cullen was slouched, lazily, on a large branch that was protruding towards my window. It was still a decent jump to the house, but I figured he'd be able to make it. I shyly walked forward, and then clambered ungracefully onto my bed. I gently pushed my window up, having to struggle with it, as always. When I finally had it wedged open, I crawled back on my bed, heading towards the foot of my bed where my pillow was. I sat cross legged and patted the bed beside me, maintaining eye contact with Edward. He smirked, gently stood up, and leaped in a blur to my window ledge. He gently eased himself through the opening and folded himself into a mirror of my position.

 _Hello_. I signed. _I can't see you that well, but I'm supposed to be sleeping_.

I motioned idly towards the light. Edward plucked his cell phone out of his pocket, turned on the flashlight and set it face-down on the bed. His face was eerily illuminated in the same way as the night in Port Angeles. The flashlight was angled purely towards him and I scrunched my nose. Right, it was purely for my benefit. He could see in the dark perfectly.

 _Why do you sleep backwards?_ He signed, motioning towards the pillow behind me, at the obvious foot of the bed. I began to sign, and then just started whispering instead. I was faster this way, unhindered by my clumsy signing and I knew he'd be able to hear me perfectly.

"I have the room set up so that I can see the door from the desk, or when I lie in bed." I motioned behind him, towards the headboard. "But then I forgot about Forks and the bizarre weather patterns. When I was lying with my head that end, I could feel the window pane shaking with the rain and the wind. It's not conducive to sleep."

Edward nodded carefully.

"So how about you? How do you sleep? Not upside-down, or in a coffin I hope?" I smiled. He frowned, shaking his head.

 _I don't sleep._

"You don't sleep? Please explain that." I looked intently at him as he began signing, and mouthing:

"Vampires don't need to sleep. I get all twenty four hours in the day to sulk about not being able to read your mind," he looked like he was joking, but that there was a real annoyance behind his inability to hear me. Welcome to my world.

 _You don't sleep? Ever?_ I asked, trying to wrap my head around that.

"I don't know why. We just don't need to. A lot of human body functions are lost. My hair doesn't grow, for example. We don't excrete waste products in the form of urine or feces. We obviously don't age. We don't conceive children. We're frozen in time."

I took a minute to process that. I'm sure my silence unnerved him, because he began to raise his hands to sign again and I interrupted him.

"So what would happen if you were to eat food then? If I threw popcorn at you right now?"

"Well first I would wonder where you got the popcorn." I was glad he was signing as an accompaniment, because the grin that stretched across his face made his words harder to read. "And then second... I'd have to deal with it later."

His aversion of the whole answer made me laugh. "You'll talk about feces and hair growth, but not this? How bad could it be?"

Edward grimaced, reclining onto my headboard. "I have to throw it up. It's an unpleasant process."

I wrinkled my nose in a grimace that mirrored his. _I suppose I did ask._ All of a sudden I realised that Edward was mostly dry, despite the rain outside.

"How are you not soaking wet right now? It's raining outside, but you were waiting…" I trailed off, motioning to the wetness outside and his only sprinkled clothing. He shrugged in a sheepish manner.

"I ran home, got some fresh clothing, returned and waited until you looked like you were ready, and then switched clothing, jumped into the tree, and here we are." He pointed behind him into the darkness. "There's a small bundle of wet clothing stashed in that tree now."

I sat and thought for a few moments.

"Okay two questions. One - how fast exactly can you run?" I asked, pitching him the easier but less distressing question first. He smiled, and frowned, leaving his face a confused but beautiful mess.

"I actually haven't officially clocked it. I suppose I probably could run a series of experiments on how fast I can go under different feeding levels," his eyes glazed over as if he was planning the trials in his head, then he refocused on me. _And your second question?_

"You were watching me? Just hiding out in the bushes outside the house?" I whispered. It was half flattering and half creepy and I wasn't sure which emotion to feel more strongly. His face became guarded and tense. Under the dim glow of the white phone flashlight he looked startlingly alien.

"I wasn't prying into your affairs. And I wasn't watching so much as listening. I kept circling around, waiting for your guests to leave. I tried to keep my distance. It was only when they did leave that I began actually - in on where you were, and waiting for the right moment to join you."

I had missed the strange word in the middle. I got the context, because his sign had been 'narrow' but I didn't read that from his mouth. It had looked more like 'boring' or even 'only'. My silence and hesitation in response clearly got him anxious, as he started to twine his hands together nervously, waiting. I wondered how my face looked. Probably a mixture of confusion and doubt, which definitely wasn't helping his anxiety.

 _What word did you say after actually?_ I asked. He fingerspelled 'honing' in response, still anxious. Ah. Honing in on the house.

 _What are you thinking?_ He asked. I held up a single finger in response. A signal to him that I was going to respond, just that I was organising my thoughts. This evening I had been expecting his return after all. I suppose I was just surprised by the method he chose to instigate our conversation continuation. I had half expected a text message again, asking if it was all clear to come over. That would be the expected response of a normal teenage boy. But Edward was anything but that. He had supernatural gifts. Supernatural hearing, thought reading, patience, and I suspected a flair for the dramatic. My heart had pounded with anticipation discovering him on that branch. Would my reaction have been less prominent if he hadn't appeared mysteriously, with perfect timing, in the night? I suspected not. However, if this was his habit we'd have to set up a few ground rules.

"Okay... so first off. Semi-creepy, semi-flattering. I think I'm more flattered than creeped though. You're kind of adorable, even in creepy stalker mode, and there's the supernatural side of you that makes certain things are easier, than say for example, a heads up text. But I digress. Second... I think we need to set some stalking rules."

Now it was his turn to look moderately startled and confused. His eyes squinted as he began to sign and speak again.

"You took that better than I expected. I keep expecting something I do or say to be too much for you. And somehow you seem to rationalize things. Make light of things, even joke about the disturbing realities of my life. I truly don't understand you at all. I'm fascinated, and more than a little concerned about the state of your sanity."

"Ha ha." I muttered sarcastically. "My sanity is fine. I'm just not phased easily. And you've avoided the stalking rules discussion."

"Oh by all means, continue." Edward folded his hands, and raised an eyebrow, waiting expectantly.

"Well, you've admitted to spying on me tonight, and you followed me to Port Angeles - although admittedly to my benefit. And last week you texted me, although I've not actually given you my number. I'm sure there are other instances I'm either not aware of or forgetting."

Edward remained silent, not defending his actions, nor disputing them.

"So, first off. I would like you to give me a heads up if you're going to be following me, or even if you're going to be spying through others. Otherwise I'll just expect you're doing it all the time and I'll start showering in the dark." I pursed my lips as he interjected.

"I am - if nothing else - extremely aware of intruding on your privacy in that respect. If you even begin to take off a sweater I dash away. My brothers have found that an endlessly amusing source of entertainment." He piped down again, signing a 'sorry'.

"That's actually reassuring, so I'm glad you interrupted." I wouldn't have to worry about what scars or body parts he may have spied. The thought made me laugh and blush. "My own personal Peeping Tom, and he's not even spying on me properly." I winked at him. "Are you sure you're a teenage boy?"

"Only in village." Edward said.

"I'm going to assume you said 'visage' but it looked like you said village. I keep telling you to keep your diction simple. I'm not entirely convinced you have that photographic memory you keep claiming." I reclined slightly onto my pillow. Edward ducked his head apologetically again.

"I'm sorry. I've spent a hundred years expanding my vocabulary and language base. It's habit."

"Well I'm not expecting you to change on my account. I am teasing you. You're one of the easiest people to converse with because of your signing, and the accommodations you make for me." I blushed, and then came back to my original train of thought. "Anyway… back to the stalking rules. If you're going to be following me, please let me know. I'd rather not do anything awkward or embarrassing."

"I will try and not to 'stalk' you without your consent." He looked sheepish.

"Can I ask are there any other instances I can know about?"

And suddenly he looked worried again.


	42. Chapter 42

I stared him down. It didn't take long before he held up his hands apologetically and began talking/signing again. It was bizarre to think that I was in the midst of the brink of an argument without any sound going on. Charlie was in the next room, fast asleep, and unaware of his daughter's visitor. Edward could of course give any heads up as to if Charlie was going to detect him, so I was more relaxed than ever. Except for the stalking conversation. That was a tad tense.

"I began keeping a thorough eye on you when I got back from my hunting trip last Sunday. You are seriously prone to accidents, and seem to keep getting into trouble, and I was nervous for you. I've been making sure you were safe since that day."

 _Sunday night?_ My hands stayed in the 'night' sign as I waited for his response.

 _Yes._

"You've been watching me, all the time? At night, during school..." I asked, trailing off. I was trying to wrap my head around the thought. I didn't think I'd ever been under surveillance before. It should have irked me but I still felt intrigued. Edward began trying to explain again.

"At school it is easier to keep an eye out without physically stalking you." His nose scrunched like mine did when he said 'stalking', as if he hoped I'd come up with a better word for it. "There are so many other students around watching that I don't need to be present, or intrusive. I just let my mind wander to you occasionally. After school though..." he halted, looking at me with a pleading expression. I motioned for him to continue.

"I've never cared about anyone enough in my entire existence to worry about what could happen to them if I wasn't watching. Do you have any idea how breakable humans are? Fires, stairs, animal attacks, car accidents, even eating can lead to choking, and without someone there to help..." he trailed off again looking distraught. "I don't know what I'd do if you were suddenly ripped out of my world and I could have been there to prevent it."

His head dropped into his hands for a moment, and I hoped he wasn't going to say anything while he was down there. I couldn't see his lips. Suddenly his shoulders fell slightly in a sigh and then he sat back up straight, and continued.

"I have been watching you at night as well. I have spent my nights this week perched on that branch outside. I could have slipped into your room, but I couldn't risk waking you. This I cannot really excuse myself for. I don't require sleep, and to see you lost in sleep, in your own dream world, so at peace... it's..." _Beautiful._

He didn't need to sleep, and he had spent the last week of nights slouched on a branch, watching me during my nights. My sleeping with my head oriented towards the foot of the bed undoubtedly gave him a good view of my face from the tree outside. He'd already exerted a gratuitous amount of effort to keep me alive and safe. Not to mention that all of our conversations so far had been the most interesting things I'd ever had. The subject matter didn't seem to matter. He was so intense. It felt creepy and perfect at the same time.

"I know that you meant no ill. And I know what you mean about watching people sleep. It is peaceful and beautiful. I used to watch my mom nap on the couch." It was enchanting, watching someone's troubles fade away in that moment of serenity. "But I'm a little annoyed that you did it more than once, in a very stalker-esque fashion."

He stared at my face with a burning intensity, and signed:

 _Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable._

"Okay so in the future, no stalking without permission." I clarified. It thrilled me to think that I didn't really mind if he found me beautiful, and if that during his literally restless nights he was able to find a semblance of rest watching me sleep. But I couldn't tell him that, without sounding strange myself.

"Is it still stalking if the object gives permission?" Edward mused, a little joy returning to his face.

"These are the important questions." I shook my head in disbelief. Was something really wrong with my brain after all? We were now joking about Edward stalking me. Maybe the car accident really had messed me up.

"Speaking of important questions.." I looked into Edward's face. "I believe that the whole point of this late night secret meet was to continue our earlier story time. It was time for you to tell me your story." I tried to stifle a rudely encroaching yawn and was unsuccessful. Edward reached out with his hand to stroke my face.

"I'm afraid we got a little distracted talking about everything else. You really do need to go to sleep. We have school tomorrow."

"Oh no. I want to hear this story. Besides - it's not like you'd be anywhere else." I reminded him with a raised eyebrow that dare him to defend himself. He smiled, and moved to the side of the bed.

"Come on, lay down, listen, and try to go to sleep. I'll tell you my story."

It took me a moment, but I stretched out, resting my head on my pillow. I was about to turn my head up to look at him when he appeared beside me. He was now positioned sitting on the floor, so that he could speak quietly, directly, into my face. I lay on my side staring at him. My heart had jumped when he had moved so abruptly, and I was sure the smirk on his face was because of it. He lifted a hand to my face, and touched it ever so gently again. His icy fingertips always seemed to make my skin buzz.

"And if I fall asleep?" I asked. I thought that the point was moot, I was hardly going to be able to sleep with a man in my room, telling me his supernatural tale, but it seemed like a poignant question.

"I'll continue tomorrow." he promised.

"You'll be here all night?"

"If that's alright with you?" he asked. I shrugged non-committally but my heart fluttered slightly.

"But won't you get bored?"

"No," he laughed again. "I have a lot to think about."

I glanced at my meager book collection. "You're welcome to my books."

"Bella," he chastised gently. "I don't have to stay if it will make you uncomfortable. We've been over the stalking rules remember?"

"No it's not that... I just - what will you do all night?" I couldn't imagine being awake for as many hours as he had been.

"All of the nefarious things." Edward joked with a sassy smile. "I'll do what I do on other nights; wonder about what's going on in that mysterious brain of yours."

I smiled. I could see how that would take all night. Human males didn't understand the female mind. How was a supernatural one supposed to? And it wasn't exactly like I was thinking along the same lines as those around me. I could be considered a very unique individual after all.

"Well make yourself at home. And try not to eat anyone while I'm out, okay?" I asked jokingly. His previously jovial expression turned sour and then stony.

"Don't joke about that. If only you knew how difficult this was." His cool breath was washing over my face making it hard to concentrate properly. I took a steadying breath that ended up not helping at all, and snuggled up to my pillow so that I was more comfortable. I had no doubt I would be able to stay awake for this tale.

"So tell me. Tell me everything."


	43. Chapter 43 - Edward

Edward

Although my phone flashlight was still shining directly into my face, I could see the details of Bella's dark bedroom in front of me in perfect clarity. She was still dressed from the day, something that obviously hadn't crossed her mind as she began to settle down to sleep. Tell her everything. Where to begin? Perhaps my storytelling would finally give her the chills I expected her to feel, would finally shake her enough to realise how dangerous I really was. If I told her everything, including the years I was most ashamed of, would she run? Would she demand I leave in the middle of the night? Could I leave her alone if she did choose to shun me? If I only had a window, a glimpse into what her mind was like. Every reaction I anticipated, or expected, never came. Her humour and good-natured stance seemed to dominate over rationality. The darkness that had filled her eyes when she recounted her life over the past few years, the lack of belonging, the need for normality in some sense, it was utterly heartbreaking. I had never felt a stronger urge to protect her, and yet - I could not shield her from her own thoughts, her own memories.

Our new 'stalking rules' were interesting ones. She hadn't stopped me from watching her, as I would have anticipated, but instead had requested that I let her know in advance. Half of me hoped that she would never send me away, and I wouldn't have to ask her if I could keep an eye on her. The other half wanted to be sent away. I was, after all, the most dangerous thing to ever cross her path. And now she wanted me to tell her my story. Would I shield her from the less pleasant aspects of my life? That would hardly be fair, as she had divulged the most traumatizing parts of hers a few hours ago. I would probably share with her. Esme would want me to.

The object of my distress and affection blinked sleepily at me, waiting. I sighed.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901. I don't remember much about my human life, as those memories tend to fade easily. I've told you that Carlisle found me in 1918. My mother, father, and I were in a hospital in early September - dying of the Spanish Influenza. Ironically I have vivid memories of the unconscious figures of myself and my family during these days, as Carlisle's memory of those times is flawless, and I'm often in his head." I smiled at the memory of my father figure and his worry. His terror that he had done the wrong thing, or that I wouldn't adjust well, that I would hate him for what he had done.

"Carlisle often re-lives my creation in his thoughts. He spirited me away from the hospital as I was hours from death, in a body bag no less. Three days of intense pain later, and I awoke for the last time in my existence. In hindsight, during my transformation, I thought I had heard his mutterings of concern, as if he were talking to me almost incessantly. In reality, Carlisle offered words of assurance very sparingly, and I was in fact reading his mind."

"The morality behind his decision to save my life was strong and pure. I have a very unique perspective among my family, where I am the only individual to truly see how pure Carlisle really is. His thoughts against even the monsters of our kind are so compassionate, so seeking of goodness and love that it's almost infuriating. His solemnity regarding my change was a difficult time for him, and I believe that my recovery may not have gone so well if I hadn't been privy to his mental workings. I could have been very angry at him, if I honestly didn't see the belief he held that he was helping."

I realised I had strayed from my initial topic, and also wondered how much Bella had actually heard and understood. I looked intently at her for signs of confusion.

"Did you hear all of that?"

She smiled sleepily and nodded, ruffling her hair against the pillow. My hand itched to stroke it back away from her face, but I folded it into my other one. I was so close to her face that I could reach in and kiss her with a simple lean of my torso. I was also painfully aware of the fact that I could just as easily lean in and bite her.

"Let me know if there is anything you need clarification on."

"I will. You're right in my face, and I've got nothing else to distract me, so the hearing side of things is fine. As long as you keep talking in the tone, and speed, and with the articulation that you are, I'll be good. Only the subject matter could possibly confuse me now. Please go on."

My hand moved without my telling it to, and I pushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyebrow. Her heart fluttered as I did it and I smiled, before continuing again, hopefully in a more logical stream.

It took another few hours of talking for me to explain my life - at least - the important parts that she was inquiring about. I talked in great detail about the early years, our learning about my talents, our moving to new homes, our acquisition (though not in any revealing detail) of Esme in 1921. She seemed particularly amused by the story of Esme meeting Carlisle twice. I began my dark history, the four years in which I had chosen to rebel from my adopted parents. Bella's eyes widened and she seemed more alert during this story segment. I half-wondered if I was scaring her, but ultimately decided that she was probably just concerned for me, as I had been for her downstairs earlier tonight.

"I made sure to hunt only those who were hunters themselves. I tried to convince myself that I was saving lives proactively."

"Well technically you were." Bella whispered. Her voice was thick with drowsiness. I looked down at her eyes, wide open, staring at my lips.

"Perhaps we should call it a night. You're so tired you're agreeing with a teenage vampire rebel." I smiled at her. She shook her head, mashing her face into the pillow as if the extra rubbing sensation would help to wake her. When she looked back at me her eyebrows were ruffled. It was adorable.

"I want to at least get to the part where you get back to Carlisle and Esme," she bargained stubbornly.

"And after that I got back to Carlisle and Esme." I said instantly. She hit me. If I hadn't have been watching I wouldn't have felt it. She didn't try very hard, and my body was like stone to her anyway.

"You can't just skip years of detail in a single sentence," she protested weakly.

"I think I just did." I grinned triumphantly. I wanted her to fall asleep on a happier note. My past, my murders, were not the stuff of good dream making after all. "I'll pick back up in the morning. I promise you."

"Will you go back to when you were hunting and explain it better?" She asked. She was an awfully stubborn person. I acquiesced

"Fine. Now please go to sleep. I'll be right here in the morning." To me, those words sounded almost threatening, but she seemed comforted.

"Mmmkay. Don't do nefarious things. Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Isabella."

She scowled at the full use of her name, and tucked her hands under her face in a warming self-snuggle. And her breathing had slowed in a matter of minutes.

I gingerly pulled her blanket from the left side of her bed, folding it across her like a pita, as she was laying on top of the other half. I wondered if that would be enough warmth. I could scour her linen closet for another blanket to close the gap. I battled with myself for a few minutes, and then heard the small beep of my cell phone transitioning to low power. The flashlight use had drained it much faster than normal. I turned off the device and placed it into my pocket.

I stared out of the window. It had stopped raining, at least for the moment. I would need to return my wet outdoor clothes to my house, for if Charlie caught sight of them stuffed up the tree, he'd undoubtedly question Bella. I closed my eyes and focused on his mind, seeing the indistinct patterns of colour and fragments of distorted memory that came with human sleep. Again I wondered if that's what Bella saw. They would probably both be out cold for a while, but if I left now, to dispose of the clothing and grab my school gear for tomorrow then I could return unhindered all night. I gently slid Bella's window open, making sure to not move the bed, and vaulted myself outside.

I grabbed the clothing, and began to run the now familiar trail between my house and hers. The blurs of sleeping thoughts flickered across my mind until I heard Bella's name. I slowed slightly, focusing on the direction and tenor. It was Angela Webb. She had been awoken by Rocky, her dog, and was thinking about inviting Bella over on Saturday, after the dance.

 _We could de-stress, talk if she likes. I could show her the signs I've learned. I wonder if I'll remember that in the morning. It is morning. Oh hurry up Rocky. I'm freezing. It's so late it's early._

I smiled and picked up the pace again. Angela was my favourite human before I'd met Bella, if I had to pick one. She was very much identical in manner to Carlisle, with a little mix of Esme's motherly tendencies and selflessness. I was at the outer borders of my property when I heard the thoughts of my family. Most were in their own spaces, but Alice was prepping a tiny overnight bag for me. I laughed aloud as I crossed the threshold. Jasper was at my side almost instantly.

 _Do you realise how happy you are recently? It's unsettling._

"I didn't mean to cause you distress." I answered sarcastically.

 _Didn't say it was bad. Said it was unsettling. I'm used to your emotional climate being that of a mopey thirteen year old, with occasional thirty year old spurts._

I rolled my eyes at his obvious use of exaggeration.

 _You know what I mean. It's nice to finally have some joy come out of you. If only we could clear up the blonde thundercloud in the garage._

"Good luck with that." I chuckled, headed to Esme. She had asked earlier that I tell her about my day. She was nestled in the arms of Carlisle, wondering if she should get up to come greet me.

"Stay there, mother, I'm coming." I muttered. She laughed.


	44. Chapter 44

I woke up feeling confused at first. I had been having the strangest dream, but as I rose to consciousness it managed to dissolve into an unsettling and unsatisfying mess of colours. I lay perfectly still, with my eyes still closed, thinking about everything that had transpired yesterday. Edward and I had shared stories. The story that I hated to tell, that I hated to recall, that not even Charlie knew in its entirety. Edward now had it, locked away in his infallible memory. And I had some of his. His early life, what little he had obtained or remembered of his human life, and his early years as a vampire. We had a lot more to cover, most of which would be occurring today, throughout the school day, and Saturday. But I would focus on today for now. Edward was here, in my room. At least he said he would be. I focused hard on not letting my eyes open, and trying to detect him another way. I felt no breath on my face, as I had last night while he was speaking to me. I obviously heard little of the world around me, although I thought that by the static crackling in my ears that it was probably raining outside. So I couldn't hear him, or feel him anywhere, but could I smell him? I inhaled slowly and gently through my nose. He was definitely here, and definitely close. His smell was one I could easily identify. It was sweet, and unnameable in fragrance, but definitively Edward.

I squeezed one eye open, and jumped with surprise. He was only a few feet from me, sitting exactly as he had been last night.

"Sorry." He said, and signed. I felt the wash of breath and and his scent gently hit my face.

"Were you not breathing?" I asked, wondering aloud. He smiled.

"We don't need to breathe, biologically I mean. It's more of a habit. Some times it's easier to be around you if I hold my breath."

I blinked while I thought about that. Was that an apology-worthy statement? I made him thirsty. "Sorry?" I questioningly apologized. He scowled at me.

"You shouldn't be apologizing because I have difficulty controlling my appetite around you."

I sat up, smoothing my hair, and stretching a little. "I keep offering you the local wildlife, but you seem to dislike snacking."

I ignored his slightly irritated look, and stood up properly, realising I was still dressed from yesterday. I also realised that I had woken up before my alarm, despite going to bed later than I usually would. I'd probably be extra tired tonight. I wasn't worried about it though, as it mean that I had more time with Edward. I half stumbled around my room as I got out a fresh set of clothing, while studying what was different about Edward. He'd changed clothing again.

"How many sets of clothes did you bring exactly?"

"I went home for a short time last night, and it rained on the way back. Alice had prepared me."

"So you did get bored?" I laughed. I had figured he couldn't stay all night. He frowned.

"I would have rather not been away from you. I never get bored around you. I actually had to go home to ask my family about something." He stared at me imploringly.

"Oh?"

"I asked if I could bring you home to meet them, if you are willing - of course."

I stopped in my tracks. I had been halfway to the door, to go to the bathroom to shower and change. Meet Edward's family? I'd never been introduced to someone's family before. What was I supposed to do with that? Did that make us an official item? That was bizarre to consider. It filled me with joy, but then that was quickly replaced with trepidation. What if they were disappointed, or didn't approve of me? Edward saw my hesitation, and quickly appeared in front of me signing and speaking quickly.

"I completely understand if you aren't comfortable being surrounded by vampires."

"What? No - that's not the issue." I scoffed at him, as if he should have guessed. This took him by surprise and he faltered.

"You aren't scared of my family?" he asked.

"Not of what they are, but of who they are." I clarified, with a condescending head motion. "I'll explain more after I've showered, and dressed for the day." I rested my hand on my doorknob. "Is Charlie here?"

He shook his head, the confused expression still plastered to his face.

"Good. Then you can explore the house while I'm busy. I was going to suggest you make yourself breakfast, but I keep forgetting." I shook my head of the dust inside my brain and headed to the bathroom. I took my time this morning, making sure I was as thoroughly cleaned as I could manage, even brushing my teeth before I headed back out. Edward was not in my room. I left my sweater in my room, and comfortable just wearing a tank-top, as I headed downstairs. When I reached the kitchen I discovered him, browsing through the cabinets. He looked over quickly to greet me, and froze mid-smile. For a half second I worried about whether I'd forgotten something critical, like pants, but I looked good and fully dressed. Suddenly Edward was in front of me, and his fingers lightly brushed my collarbone. Oh. Of course. I watched his facial expression as he traced one of my normally concealed scars. This one had been a deep gouge I received as I had been pulled out of a shattered glass and metal wreckage. I did have plenty of scars that had nothing to do with the crash, but this one was one of them.

"Yes, it's from the crash. I have a bunch. Maybe one day I'll show you all of them." I winked, trying to make this sound alluring and teasing, but now it was Edward's turn to scoff.

"You are so unaffected by your circumstances." His voice was loud and clear, but he continued to sign at me anyway. I set about making breakfast and tried to explain.

"What would be the point in being morose about something I can't change? You'd just make yourself, and others unhappy. I may not spread my disability around as common knowledge, but I try not to let it get to me and I certainly try not to let others see how hard it can be. Why would I want to make others miserable or concerned about my well-being? There's no gain in that. I would say life's too short, but I'm speaking to the wrong person about that aren't I?."

He sat down at the table, looking like he was taking what I had said extremely seriously.

"Anyway... I believe we were talking about you last night." I prompted him. He folded his hands together and began, again, his story.

As I ate breakfast, and as we drove to school together, he talked. He talked of his rebellious years, of the people he'd murdered, and by preventative action, saved. He talked about his return to his parents, and how accepting and welcoming, and non-judgmental they had been. How it made him feel worse that they still saw no evil in him, despite his deeds. His in-depth description of his parent's thoughts and the reverence which he held for them made me love them before I'd even gotten to know them. He discussed, not in great detail, the acquisition of Rosalie, and Emmett, while we walked from the parking lot to my first class, and then we had to pause again. I saw him again at lunch time, when he began telling about their first move to Forks, the treaty with Jacob's grandfather about staying off of their land, Esme's first large rebuild of the house. I barely talked all lunch hour, and if I did, it was to interrupt with a word clarification, rather than a concept clarification. I was utterly engrossed. At the end of our lunch period, we were approaching the present, and I mentally felt like I had run a marathon. I hardly noticed I had not eaten much, too busy watching, learning, everything I could.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw students rise at the end of the lunch hour, and I began to stand. In an odd repetition of a previous lunchtime, Edward didn't move.

"I won't be joining you for the afternoon, I'm afraid."

I raised an eyebrow back in question. Since we were done bloodtyping, I was at a loss as to his reasoning.

"My family and I are going out on a hunt today. If I'm to be bringing you home, I want them to be as comfortable as possible."

"Will I make them uncomfortable?" I asked.

"Human scent makes us generally thirsty, even when full. So we'll be courteous hosts, and be as full as possible before you show up." His eyes were watchful.

"I'll try not to scent too much." I sarcastically retorted. I couldn't exactly help the way I smelled.

"It isn't their comfort I'm worried about. It's yours."

"I'll be fine." I assured him, then reconsidered. "Well, as fine as someone meeting their SO's parents could be."

He smiled, as I tried to take the lunch tray.

"I've got this. Haven't eaten my lunch after all." He gestured mockingly to the unfinished food.

"Suuuuure." I drew out, as I backed away from him, towards classes. "Will you be by tonight?"

He looked over to the table where his siblings sat. Alice held up a finger, while she thought. It was bizarre to watch her casually peruse the future, as if Edward had done no more than asked her to check her phone for messages. She cocked her head at him, then smiled at me. I blushed, and looked back to Edward.

"Not until the early hours of the morning. So I'll be there when you wake, Miss Swan."

My blush stuck to my face as I left the class. This Saturday would be a hard day to forget.


	45. Chapter 45

**I'm aliiiiiiiive! Done my school semester and the ridiculousness that is the holidays. Next chapter coming soon I swear! We're nearly there man! Nearly at the end of the Twilight bit. Then onwards to New Moon and beyond we go! :D**

It didn't take me long to be texted by both Angela and Jessica in Biology when they noticed that Edward wasn't with me. I was trying hard to concentrate on the lesson, and Angela seemed to get that when I mouthed 'later' to her across the room. Jess wasn't as quick to catch on. My phone buzzed at least four more times before she stopped, and looked over at me. I mouthed 'after school' to her. She pursed her lips resignedly but also bounced in anticipation. Have you ever noticed that time goes particularly slowly when you're anticipating something - like the return of Edward, and yet particularly quickly when you aren't anxious for it to? I wasn't looking forward to trying to explain anything to Jess, and so naturally, the two periods flew by as if they hadn't existed at all. In the change room at gym it was harder to avoid my scars being seen, as Jess lingered longer than usual waiting for me.

"Look - go catch Angela would you? We can all go to the diner, have coffee and talk." As soon as she heard this, she smiled excitedly.

"Okay! I'm sure she isn't far!" Jessica's small frame disappeared and I hurriedly switched shirts and pants, and then walked out to find the both of them. They were standing under the entrance to the building, I joined them and we all split off into our own cars, as the diner I had been referring to was a little out of the way for all of us. It would be fun to have some girl time though, and I started to smile at how happy Charlie would be that I was fitting in and finding friends here. He was happy enough when he heard I was teaching Angela and Jacob to sign. If I told him about a girls get together he'd be thrilled. He was always so worried about leaving me alone too much. To be honest - I definitely enjoyed the peace and quiet. Hanging out with people for extended periods could get exhausting. Of course - this didn't apply to Edward. I made sure to text Charlie, to let him know what I was doing, and who I was with before setting off.

We all drove to the diner, and made it inside just as it started to pour. Hanging up our jackets, we settled down in an empty booth and each ordered milkshakes. Angela first dived into her story about the date she'd had with Mike Newton earlier this week. It took me a few seconds to figure out where I would have been on that day. It was the day after the Port Angeles scare - I think. She talked about how sweet he'd been, even buying her food at the movie theatre, and how much they'd talked at dinner afterwards.

"Wait - you went to a movie, and then dinner?" I clarified. She nodded. "Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?"

"Rookie mistake there Bella. If you go to the movie first, then you know you have something to talk about during dinner. It's an excellent conversation starter."

"That makes a heck of a lot of sense. I can't believe I hadn't thought about that before."

"These are tips and tricks I get from things like magazines, Bella. You should buy one occasionally."

"I'd rather come to you two if I need dating advice." I laughed. "More interaction."

Angela lifted her hand subtly to catch my attention.

"Speaking of which..." She smiled and left her sentence hanging. I ducked behind my milkshake glass while I thought.

"Oh come on Bella, I just spilled. Your turn." Jessica said, loudly enough that even though I wasn't looking I could hear her.

"Alright, alright. Well, Edward and I have been talking a lot lately. That's all." Not even close.

"Talking about what? You two spend more time together than Mike and I." Jess said. It was definitely true.

"Well, our lives. I don't know really. Growing up, the past few years. Sometimes its silly things like music, and sometimes it's serious things like family." That sounded normal. "I think he likes me."

"No shit Sherlock." Jess waved her hand at me irritably. "Do you guys have a date planned or anything? I see you drive him in to school a lot."

"Yeah. It's a good time to talk. I don't know what to tell you. We've been on a few walks together. He walked me home after the blood typing incident in biology." I searched my brain for anything else that I could divulge, something that two normal teenagers would do. "And he wants to bring me home to meet his parents tomorrow."

I looked at the two of them sheepishly. Angela was glowing with happiness. Jess' mouth had popped open slightly.

"Oh. My. God." Jess said, filtering the sentence through her brain. She would undoubtedly begin a round of questioning, or a round of 'you have to tell us every detail of everything', if not side-tracked.

"I'm so happy for you!" Angela chimed. "I'm not sure how I'd deal with meeting someone's parents." It was a perfect escape.

"I was hoping for some advice Jess. You're the only one here who would know what to do. I'm not sure what I should wear, for example."

This got her started on a detailed explanation of how to look nice, but not like you tried too hard. I did actually listen for the most part, because I legitimately had no idea how to dress. I mean, I normally wouldn't care, but this was an important meeting. I knew that any clothing that wasn't ripped, sweaty, or covered in blood would be a definitive improvement for Carlisle. But Esme, Edward's mother… the way he spoke about her. It was with reverence. He admired his parents, and to be honest, I was ardently hoping that I wouldn't disappoint. His siblings had seen me at school, from afar, but I'd never actually spoken to any of them. Alice seemed at least positive enough to smile at me if she caught me looking.

I managed to divert the conversation to Jessica and Mike, and eventually Jessica exclaimed that she needed to head home to dinner. Jessica lived furthest, and had dinner the earliest of the three of us. Angela and I stayed talking for a few more minutes, but since we were both relatively quiet, the conversation speed diminished quickly. We began practicing signing discreetly in the booth. We discussed her family, and the overall school semester. It wasn't until my phone buzzed to remind me of my dinner approaching that we began to wrap it up. Angela invited me over on Saturday, after I'd met Edward's family, to talk about how it went. I gladly agreed to go, secretly happy that I'd be able to sneak away if I wasn't welcome.

We said our goodbyes and I coaxed my truck into life. It began raining hard again and it took me a little longer to get home than I was hoping. When I did pull into the driveway, Charlie's cruiser was there, silent and soaked. I clambered into the house, and yelled my arrival. Regardless, I still jumped when he appeared at the hallway.

"How you been?" he asked.

"I've been good. Been hanging with Angela and Jessica. We got milkshakes after school."

Charlie's face lit up.

"I always feel like I'm leaving you alone too often. I'm glad you've got a good set of friends." He ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Any plans for this weekend? I was going to head out with Billy. I mean we were probably going to be out fishing and I feel bad leaving you alone again."

Did I tell him that I'd be meeting Edward's parents? Or leave him out of the loop? He was a cop, after all. There could be guns involved. Still, he seemed terrified that I would get bored in Forks, like mom did. A flicker of sadness ran through me. I suppose I could let him in on my life. It wasn't as though he could forbid me to do anything after all – I was an adult legally.

"You don't leave me alone too much dad. I'm happy - I swear. And yeah actually, I do have plans tomorrow. You know the Cullen kids?" Now it was my turn to weave my hand nervously in my hair. "I'm going over to their house." I turned away to shed my boots, coat, and began to head towards the kitchen when I felt a pull of fabric on my shoulder. I looked back at him.

"The Cullens? I didn't know you hung out with them."

"Yeah." I said, trying to play off a cool tone. "The two youngest, Alice and Edward." If I softened the blow with Alice (I'd make it up to her later), maybe there wouldn't be the Spanish Inquisition. At the mention of both names he smiled, and straightened up.

"Good. It's good you have so many friends Bells." We walked to the kitchen together. I began prepping a quick veggie stir-fry, keeping my eye on Charlie in-case he continued to talk. As I got the frozen mixed vegetable bag out, he piped up again and I focused on his lips. "I was worried at first, you know, when the Cullen family moved in. But they're a good bunch of kids. Not one - of trouble. More than I can say about most - that live here."

Despite the loud and direct tones I still had issues with moustaches. I narrowed my eyes and tried to prompt him to sign and speak by responding in sign.

 _The doctor has helped me more than enough. His kids seem similar to him._

Charlie raised is hands. _Owe him._ "For you I mean. Helping you out. Means a lot to me to have someone so qualified taking care of you." Charlie laughed, while I rolled my eyes.

"I can take care of myself." It was my turn to derail the train now. "Besides… I'm glad you like them. I'm sort of…" _Interested in Edward._ I chickened out of speech and signed the last bit. Charlie blinked a few times, as he stared at the space where my hand had been. Had he even caught what I said?

"I'm sorry but I think I missed that." His brow furrowed slightly.

"I saaaaid." I drew out sarcastically "I'm kind of interested in, and maybe going to be hanging around a lot with… with Edward."

There was no move or sound in the kitchen – as far as I could tell. The spit of some hot oil singed my arm and I backed away from the stove slightly before turning it down and stirring the vegetables.

"Well, I didn't actually sign all of that, but I fleshed out so you'd catch the drift." I peeked at him through my hair. He was still processing. Standing, stock still, and frowning.

"I mean come on dad. You can't truly disapprove. Between him and his father and their life-saving antics, they're as close to private cop-like security as I can manage." On the watch 24/7 after all, and even sometimes pre-emptively. I swore I'd make it up to Alice. I'd used her name to soften a shock with Charlie, and owed her for two separate lifesaving instances after all. Normally I'd do something like bake cookies, but in this case… I suppose I wasn't beyond skewering and wrapping the local wildlife. My own morbidity made me laugh as Charlie still stood, leaning on the fridge. I only got him to wake up out of his silence as I budged him to get some leftover rice from the fridge.

"I… I suppose I wanted to see you socialise. Get past all the…. Well the stuff that happened in Phoenix."

I wrinkled my nose at that, but nodded happily. "Yeah you did. So far I've got a pretty solid group of friends, a way more active social life, and maybe even a boyfriend on the horizon. You're doing great dad. I'm more happy here than I was. Trust me." _Trust me._ I signed, reiterating.

He nodded, still frowning, but we got on with dinner peacefully after that point.


	46. Chapter 46

I knew Edward would not return until late into the night, or even early into the morning, and so took the time after dinner to get homework done, clean the kitchen, clean my room, and pamper myself as much as possible. I was even so bored I put a layer of a pale brown colour on my nails and began re-reading a book I'd read dozens of times. I pushed my window open slightly, as an invitation, and snuggled down, upside-down into my bed, staring idly at my open closet. Black jeans were an item Jess had recommended. I had a pair. They were skinny jeans, which would fit nicely under my rainboots. Thicker socks probably, to make sure my feet didn't get cold under said rain boots. I was running through my list of shirts in my head, with my eyes closed when I found myself in a car.

 _Lights were flashing past me. Not streetlights, headlights. On a busy highway. I could hardly see out of my window. I turned my head to look at the driver, and Edward was driving. He looked at me, and I looked at the speedometer. We were going fast. Far, far too fast. As I looked back at Edward I noticed he was still looking at me, with a warm smile. His hands left the steering wheel, grabbing for me instead. Suddenly the car jerked sideways, and my hair lifted in front of my face as if pulled up by strings. It fell to the right slightly, then left, then down to my chin again, as the lights outside danced in circles. My eyes focused back onto the golden ones. His eyes never left mine as we spun helplessly, and suddenly there was a bone shattering snap in my leg._

I woke with a yelp, rubbing the sharp cramp that pulsed through my thigh. Instantly another hand, an icy cold one, joined mine in the rubbing of my leg and my heart stopped. My brain panicked for a brief second, before I took in the sight before me. Edward Cullen, bright in the dim streetlight from the street, was inches from me. I inhaled his scent shakily, and it calmed me.

"Hi." I whispered. Suddenly a bright white light lit the room. Edward had turned on his flashlight on the cell phone again. I blinked back with the sharpness of the new light, so brilliant, in the dark room.

 _Hello. How's your leg?_

"It's alright. I think I tense up when I dream."

 _A bad dream?_ He asked, knowingly.

"The usual one," I whispered. "I actually haven't had it in a while. Suppose my brain's been working on the whole vampire stalker issue." I poked my tongue out at him as he glared at me. It took a half second for his face to break into a smile. "How was the hunting trip?"

 _Fine. My family is feeling contently full. Ready for today._

 _Sorry you all felt like you had to feed._

It was his turn to poke his tongue out. "We were due anyway." He mouthed. His breath smelled amazing. I ducked my face into my pillow. I'm sure mine smelled like garlic and morning breath. I'd forgotten to brush my teeth before bed. A gentle caress on my cheek made me tilt my head slightly to peek at his confused face.

 _What?_

 _My breath reeks. I thought you especially would be able to detect the garlic._ I had to fingerspell garlic, as I actually wasn't sure of the sign. Edward filled me in, and repeated the spelling to be sure I associated the sign with the word I was searching for.

 _Garlic doesn't affect me I'm afraid. And I hadn't noticed. Your own scent is a little overwhelming to return to. I haven't really had time to desensitize enough to the smell to be able to distinguish the finer nuances._ He mouthed all of this as he said it. I learned three new signs in one sentence. Desensitize, distinguish and nuance-ing aside, I was glad to see him.

 _Sorry I stink. Now shut up and let me sleep._ I sleepily blinked at him. It was far too early in the morning to be awake yet. He laughed quietly and began to settle down on the floor. I frowned slightly. That certainly wouldn't do. I backed up in the bed, and patted the space I'd vacated. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before coming to rest on the bed, outside of the covers. I was out again in moments.

The next time I awoke I noticed a few things. I was resting on something hard and cold, and it was light out. I opened my eyes and saw an arm that was not my own stretched out under my cheek. It led to a well-toned forearm and hand that were visible, resting relaxed on the sheet. I wasn't sure how – but I had pinned him under my head in the night. I unstuck myself from his arm, and wiggled my way over to face him. He was smiling, not looking the slightest bit uncomfortable, despite his head being bent awkwardly against my footboard, and his arm resting as my pillow.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "Morning."

He laughed. "Good morning." His hand reached up to brush against the cheek that had been resting against his arm. "You have a red mark there. I'm sorry."

"I'm not. Clearly I was comfortable." I stretched slightly, and began to get out of bed. I peeked through my window to make sure the cruiser was gone, and then began conversing in normal loudness.

"How was your hunt? Catch all the local young virgins?" I began turfing through my drawers, assembling clothing. Edward made sure to orient himself within view, and speak loudly.

"Oh yes. Most of our biology class is gone now. I wanted the extra desk space back." He quipped in return.

"I bet you miss the leg room."

"Company has its perks though." He said, appraisingly. I shooed him away as I headed to the bathroom. "Gimme ten minutes, and I'll be ready."

"Take your time." He bowed. I paused at the door. When was the last time I'd even seen someone bow, let alone to me? I'd have to figure out how to curtsey, and that I didn't exactly feel like doing today. I'd have to break him of that habit for sure.

I showered, and twisted my hair into a loose side-braid. It was Jess' idea, and I might as well try. The jeans, and the blue blouse also looked presentable. I'm sure with heels and jewelry it might even be date worthy. So without those, and adding some warm socks, it was meeting parents appropriate outfit. As I exited the bathroom I could swear I smelled cooking butter. I hastened downstairs into the kitchen and discovered the Edward was cracking some eggs into a pan. Apparently I was to be treated to an omelette. A few eggs, some cheese and my addition of a few chopped cherry tomatoes later, and Edward was looking incredibly proud of himself.

"So if you're feeding me, does this mean I actually have to start trapping the locals? I might even be better at coaxing in people than animals you know." I grabbed a few bites of my breakfast while Edward pursed his lips in a jokingly disappointed fashion.

When I was done I began to wash my plate, and then caught sight of my hair in the reflection in the window. I tried to smooth my errant curls down, but it wasn't working. A white hand shot out to gently tickle my hair.

"You look simply irresistible."

I blushed, and began to head out to the hallway. "Thanks," I managed, once I had composed myself a bit. "I was worried it would look like I was trying too hard. Angela and Jess grilled me yesterday about how to dress if you were going to meet the family of your boyfriend. I must admit I wasn't listening all that well, but this was what I got out of it." I gestured down to myself, and Edward leaned against the hallway wall, watching.

"You're beautiful. I honestly don't think my mother would mind what you showed up wearing. She's happy that you exist at all."

"Well I tried anyway." I slipped on my boots, and Edward dashed upstairs to get his shoes. When we got outside, he opened my truck door for me, and patiently, although still mildly irate at being a passenger, settled down beside me. We drove in moderate silence. I asked the occasional question about directions, but I was too nervous to really chat as we had been in the morning. It wasn't until we pulled into the long and winding driveway of the Cullen residence that I began chewing on my lip. Edward's hand brushed against my lip.

"Relax. Please?"

"Pfft. Easy for you to say. If we were reversed right now, you'd be a nervous wreck too."

"I'm relatively sure I'm bullet proof actually, so I'm not overly concerned."

I parked the truck and bit back a laugh, only exhaling strongly through my nose. I couldn't picture Charlie actually shooting Edward.

"I suppose you do have a few decades on him too, old man." I managed back. Edward smiled.

"Not to mention the mind-reading. An immensely useful blending tool."

"Well we can't all be you, can we?"

Edward was suddenly not in the truck cab with me, but instead opening my door on my left.

"They won't bite." he assured me.

"That is not on my top ten list of reasons to be nervous about family meetings." I retorted.

"You have a list?" He asked, curiosity overcoming his eagerness to introduce me to his house and family.

"I'm composing one." I slid out of the truck, landing gracelessly in a puddle, which splashed both of us with water. _Sorry_. I signed, eyeing the beautiful house before me.

"Don't worry about it." He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, towards the large, elegant, white mansion. I paused at the front door.

"No coffins, capes and cobwebs right?" I joked.

"I knew we were forgetting something." Edward mumbled sarcastically, rolling his eyes, as he let me inside.


	47. Chapter 47

In two words, the Cullen household was 'open' and 'warm'. It was bright, beautiful, and airy. There was plenty of space for activities, with high ceilings and large windows. And yet, the décor, the colours, the furniture, made it feel warm, homely, comfortable. There was a myriad of artwork on the walls that I could see, and even some taped architectural sketches on a pane of glass far away from the entrance. There was a large sweeping staircase, and on the main floor, a gloriously large and ornate grand piano. Carlisle and Esme Cullen were standing beside it.

 _Good morning, Bella._ Carlisle signed. I'm sure my mouth fell open in shock.

"Good morning." I signed, and spoke. "Thank you for having me here." I looked at Esme. She was almost the physical embodiment of this house. Warm, bright, open, happy.

"You're always welcome. We're so glad you came." Esme said, making sure to speak slowly and towards me. Carlisle raised his hand to catch my attention.

"How are you healing up?"

"I'm fine, thank you, again. I'd honestly forgotten about it." A small tap on my shoulder had Edward gently peeling my coat off of me. I slipped gracelessly out of my boots, and tucked some stray hair behind my ear. Edward too, shrugged out of his coat and shoes. A flash of movement in my vision caught my attention. Carlisle had waved at me again. I blushed. I was not used to so many people effortlessly remembering how to talk most effectively with me.

"If you don't mind Bella, Jasper and I would like a quick word with Edward."

Edward stiffened awkwardly beside me.

"Yeah, of course. Go for it." I folded my hands together, and fiddled with the rings I was wearing. Edward and Carlisle both began walking away, up a grandiose set of stairs that I would be clinging to the banister with. Edward's lips were moving quickly, tersely, and Carlisle was facing away from me. I let my eyes wander back to Esme. She was watching my hands.

 _Beautiful rings._ She signed. I held out my hands, to show her. One was a silver turtle ring, the other was a simple pearl in a silver band. I wore them beside each other, on my forefinger and middle finger. I used to listen to the sound of them clicking together. Now I didn't hear that sound anymore. I idly wondered if the clicking annoyed anyone.

"Thank you. My mother bought me both. One for my 16th, one for my 18th. I can guess what I'm going to get for my other milestone years." I laughed. Esme stretched out her arm.

"Carlisle bought me this for my fiftieth." A beautiful, and simple silver chain bespeckled with what looked like emeralds wrapped her wrist. "And this for my seventy-fifth." She showed me a ring that matched. "I too, can guess at my future milestone years." She smiled and beckoned me towards the piano and the living room. She didn't look, or seem old. And yet, somehow she did too.

"I keep forgetting how many years you've all got on me. It's funny. Normally I feel like the old one in a crowd." We walked towards the living room, and the architectural sketches on the far window drew my attention.

"Edward said you designed houses…" I gestured towards the sketches. I hadn't realised it was possible for Esme's face to light up any more than it was already glowing, but she managed it.

"I do, would you like to see?"

She began to describe a restoration she was working on, as we walked towards the white paper taped to the windows, of one of the houses they used to live in. She was modernizing, while keeping some beautiful original features, like a rich gold crown moulding. As she explained, her words got faster, and her basic signing increased in speed too. I was about to ask her to slow down a little in her explanation when I saw a white reflection creeping up on me. Behind him was another one. Edward and Carlisle had returned. I spun around, and smiled at him.

"Everything okay?"

"Everything is wonderful with you around." He responded promptly. His mother bit her lip beside me, no doubt restraining a laugh.

"Except for your stomach of course. Always grumbling around me from what I understand." I signed 'yum yum' and he rolled his eyes.

"Actually it's more of a sore throat." Edward smiled, caressing my own throat. I wrinkled my nose.

 _Sorry._ "I'm sorry you all felt you had to hunt to make me more comfortable. Or to make yourselves more comfortable. Either way I'm sorry I'm…"

"Please for the sake of my remaining sanity, do not apologize for being human." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Bad news then? You weren't this irritable a few minutes ago." I raised an eyebrow accusingly. He leant his head against mine. I felt his breath against my lips, and could feel the pauses that indicated speech. I pulled away quickly, staring at his lips. "Pardon?"

"I said that you're unbelievable."

"I'm the unbelievable one? Have you looked in a mirror lately?" I whispered to him. He smiled again, and pulled me towards the stairs. I started to look back apologetically towards Esme, but she was following us, Carlisle in tow.

Alice and Jasper were descending the stairs. Jasper had – what I thought at first was a reassuring grip – a tight restraint on Alice. From what Edward had told me, I would have expected this to be reversed. As we got closer, he let go, gingerly and she sprung forward in a flash, faster than I could have even imagined. Her arms were suddenly wrapped around my shoulders in a gentle but firm hug. I patted her back with a timid smile. Well that answered that question.

She released me and backed up, instantly signing something far too fast for me to read.

"Woah, what? Slow up. I don't actually sign that well."

"I'm sorry. I said it's a pleasure to meet you finally. I've been watching you from afar for a while now." She beamed at me, signing and speaking at a speed I could handle. I saw Edward place his hand in front of his face again. No doubt he was worried that Alice's creepy statement would be taken in a negative light. In reality I found it hilarious. She looked so unassuming and honest that I couldn't have taken it any way other than that which she meant it. She'd been looking forward to meeting me. I was honoured, if a little baffled.

 _Thank you._ I signed at Alice, and then looked bemusedly at Edward.

"I'm not sure exactly what lies he's been telling you, but I'm glad to be here, and I look forward to knowing you all better. Thank you for letting me into your home." I'm sure my voice was barely above a shy whisper, but they all beamed. Alice caught my attention and I looked over to see her begin talking.

"To be honest Bella, I'm glad it's you, but we'd all have been happy if Edward had brought home an alien. He's been alone for far too long."

"And today I learned the sign for alien. Who knew today would be so filled with learning?" I laughed.

"Do you have any other signs you'd like to know? I've become quite proficient in the last few weeks." Alice smiled again.

"I can't even begin to explain how much that concerns me. How much time have you all spent on this? I've inadvertently stolen all of your free time apparently." I looked around at the faces, which all began reassuring me that they hadn't spent much time on it, and that Carlisle and Edward had previously known how to sign.

I should have probably felt more embarrassed about the entire situation but I could only manage a relaxed calm and joy. I cocked my head suspiciously at Jasper, but didn't have time to ask him about it. I was distracted by Edward guiding me towards the giant black grand piano.

"This is my other love in life. In fact, before you, music was my only delight." Edward explained. A pang of sadness slipped through the comfy happy bubble that Jasper had created for me. It must have shown on my face, as Edward halted, and smoothed away a frown on my brow with his fingers.

 _The thing you love most I'll never be able to fully share with you._ I rested my hand gingerly on a segment of keys and began twitching my fingers across them – without playing – in the upper hand of a Christmas song.

"First of all…" Edward guided my face to look at him fully so I didn't miss anything. "I will give up music this instant if it makes you sad. Second… that looked like a practiced hand. What tune was that? Can you play?" his face was stoic, but his eyes were alight with excitement. I idly wondered if anyone else played, and I turned to look, but they had gone.

 _Privacy_. Edward signed. And tilted his head. _Sort of_.

"Sort of?" I asked.

 _We, I'm sorry to say, have really good hearing. It makes things almost impossible to be actually private. Between Alice seeing things, me hearing things…_

"And Jasper sliding in some warm happy feelings." I interjected.

"Caught that did you?" he chuckled.

"I understand the lack of privacy. It's a nice gesture though." I stared out of the window for a few moments. "And to answer your piano question… yes. Sort of."

"Sort of?" He responded.

"Ask me again at Christmas." I avoided, smiling in a coy fashion. Edward looked mildly dissatisfied and then his head tilted up towards the ceiling. His eyes focused far away, as if he'd been called. Whether he'd been called mentally, or otherwise, it was inaudible to me. He looked down at me, and glanced quickly at his phone.

"Am I keeping you?" I asked with a laugh.

"Actually – Alice has informed me that for dramatic effect, we are on a suddenly tight schedule." He suddenly swooped me into his arms and I am ninety nine percent sure that a small scream of surprise escaped my lips before I clamped them shut. He waited until I was gripping firmly onto his shirt before he began walking us upstairs.

"I'm capable of climbing stairs you know." I muttered.

"Are you now?" He challenged.

"Hilarious." I scowled back. This felt very much like being driven places and I wasn't comfortable. Edward set me down gently on the top of the stairs. We had ascended far faster than I would have been able to. He guided me forward past some closed doors, until we reached the ajar one. I pushed the door open. We were entering what I could only assume was Edward's bedroom.

It was a messier space, with what looked like musical pages, CDs and books left in absentminded places. It was still cleaner than my room. There was an entire wall of CDs, from ceiling to floor, and another wall of vinyl records. The single couch was black leather, the rug a rich golden colour. The two remaining walls were mostly windows, overlooking a short grassy expanse, and then the forest. The view was beautiful.

 _What about that tight schedule?_ I asked Edward, looking back at his nervous expression. He pointed outside. I turned to look and two things occurred simultaneously.

Beyond the pine trees, thick with greens and browns, and in the overcast grey sky, a small cloud decided to vacate the space it had been in, and the sun came out. And Edward's bedroom exploded in rainbows.


	48. Chapter 48 - Edward

I saw the sun break through the clouds, exactly as Alice had predicted moments before. I had whisked Bella upstairs to my room, and her eyes had lit with wonder and curiosity as she peered around. I had watched in silence as she had peered around the room. Her hands twisted together slightly, her rings clicking with the sound. She had turned back towards me, to ask me about the 'tight schedule' I had mentioned. I had chosen not to answer her, I couldn't possibly warn her in the second and a half we had left. Instead I pointed towards the sun, wondering if I could possibly get creepier inwardly. A wave of reassurance trickled in from Jasper and I watched. And waited. The sun had broken through the clouds, exactly as I had seen in Alice's mind. I saw the reflective sparkles that emanated from my skin during the brief periods the sun touched it. A predator's skin. Designed to entrance and attract. Would it scare her? Or enthrall her? As her heart skipped a beat I knew the answer. I waited for her human reflexes to catch up to mine. She spun, tediously slowly in my opinion, searching for the source of the dancing flecks of light that had splattered the walls.

Her eyes finally fell on my frame, and her mouth fell open with a tiny pop. I tried to restrain a smile but a short chuckle slipped through.

 _How do I look?_ I asked, foolishly. I knew exactly how I looked. The small diamond-like facets that covered my body were alight. Every colour of the rainbow was being bounced of off my skin. A thousand tiny mirrors. Twisted and unnatural. Unlike her.

She took a breath as if to say something, and then let it go abruptly. She blinked for a second, composing her thoughts. If only I had access. What had her first thought been? She now edited, altered her thoughts, to say something different. Something funny undoubtedly. She had a habit of deflecting and making others laugh if she felt things were getting too serious. It was both endearing and infuriating.

"Well it's better than bursting into flames."

I rolled my eyes obviously at her. She squinted at me as she stepped closer, reaching for my hand. I raised it to her. She flipped it over, observing the nails, palm, knuckles. She squinted at my face.

"Smile for me."

I smiled in response, showing a set of sparkling teeth. She blinked in surprise.

"Your hair, teeth and nails. Interior epithelial too?" What a bizarre girl. Her first thought was not that I sparkled, but whether all of me sparkled. I poked out my tongue childishly at her. I knew that it too glittered in the brief light. The sun would be making alternate appearances today, she would get plenty of opportunity to stare.

"All of you?" she asked.

"I think that you can take my word for the parts you can't see." I smirked at her, stroking my hand on her cheekbone. She blushed furiously.

"Not- I mean – That isn't what I was asking." Her shoulders raised defensively towards her shoulders as she stayed a furious red. The scent of the fresh and warm blood pulsing under her cheeks was thrilling. "I meant to ask if all vampires sparkle. Not if your butt does."

I laughed heartily at this. She was trying to deflect again, this time from her own embarrassment at my presumption.

 _Oh Edward. Your laugh is true music to my ears._ Esme cooed happily in Carlisle's arms from his study where she was blatantly listening in.

 _I'm sorry_. I signed. _I assumed your brain was thinking like a teenage girl's._

"Since when have I ever thought like a teenage girl?" She responded, pulling my head down towards hers so she could peer at my hair. She probably didn't realise how close she had gotten. Drawn to me. It was a magnetic and instinctual pull. She began examining tufts of my hair, while breathing softly into my face.

I was torn between two distinct and very different emotions. To kiss or to kill? Alice's sudden trickle of apprehension at my indecision had obviously alerted Jasper, as I was overcome with an urgent sense of lethargy and calm.

I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent deeply. Although it scorched the back of my throat, it also soothed me. She was so trusting, so human. So unafraid. I wasn't entirely sure which one of us was more mentally unstable. I gently set my hand on her shoulder, pushing her back ever so slowly. Should I kiss her here, with all ears in my house tuned on us? They were all curious, and trying desperately not to listen. You try and tell someone not to think about something, and see how successful they are.

 _Ugh. Surely she can't be here that much longer. Hey, here's the spook house, here's my family, peace out._

Rosalie, in the garage outside was possibly the only person not intruding, and that was because she was too infuriated at me even bringing Bella here in the first place. It was, to the rest of my family, a matter of our safety and secrecy, but to Rosalie, it was a matter of her pride and her life's disruption. She always recanted the cruelest thoughts she had, but they were still the first thoughts to enter her mind. The rest of my family was supportive, and Rosalie would come around. It might take her a few years, but she'd get there. How could anyone not like Bella? The family had begun ASL lessons, practicing amongst themselves. They were probably more proficient than Bella now.

Bella, my curiosity. My lifeline. I was going to kiss her.

I leant in slowly, even for my standards, I would go almost all the way, and let her make the last inch of contact. I wasn't entirely sure how much force I could actually apply. All I knew was that this was a milestone I did want to reach, and now seemed like the best time to do it. It took her a half heartbeat to look from my hair, to my eyes, to my firmly closed mouth. Her heartbeat skipped into a faster gear, and she suspended her breathing. She shyly pressed into my lips and the rush of emotion that filled me was so intense that I heard Jasper break something in surprise. The heat against my lips was intense, as if her skin scorched mine as much as her scent assaulted my throat. I stepped backwards quickly, away from the sensations I was sorely unprepared for, and hit the wall hard enough that I saw flecks of plaster cascade down from the ceiling.

 _Warn me next time. Jesus. I'm glad I only broke a desk. Alice would have ripped my arm off if I'd broken her dresser._

Bella's heart hadn't stopped racing, her breath hadn't resumed. Her eyes flicked open, and she sat down. Exactly where she was. I bent to her new level, watching her carefully.

"Warn me next time," she exhaled shakily. I smiled at her unknowing repetition of Jasper's sentiment. She looked around at me and the room, as if searching for something that was missing. "It just occurred to me that there's a bunch of people in this house who probably just heard me collapse."

"True." I said, wondering where she was going with this.

"I'm kind of shocked that no one came running to my rescue." She laughed.

"Ah, but you aren't really in any danger, love. A bruise or two is nothing." I smiled at her. I hoped she wouldn't bruise from her abrupt floor arrival.

"I probably won't bruise." She thought aloud. "Didn't feel like I fell, more like I just, kinda chose to sit down."

"That's what it looked like." I nodded. "I'm not a hundred percent sure how they do it in the human world, but my kind tends to use these marvelous inventions called chairs."

That snapped her out of the dreamy and breathless spell. She squinted at me again, this time in a sardonic way.

"Sure, you be all proud of yourself over there." She quipped at me, ignored my attempt to assist her and rose, unsteadily to her feet. She was independent, a fighter, and absolutely beautiful, even in her flustered state. The sun disappeared for a short segment of time, and if anything, Bella looked upset about the lack of colour suddenly in the room.

"I could get used to you sparkling." She sighed, turning to look at my music collection instead. "Why do you do it? I mean, is your skin actually made of mirrors or something? I must admit I haven't noticed you sparkling in the ambient light, or flashlights." Her attention wasn't directed at me, so I waved at her to get her attention.

"That is a question better suited for Carlisle I feel. He's spent hundreds of years studying our kind." I reached out for her hand again. "As far as I'm aware it's more of the fact that my skin is made of a very shiny marble-like substance. Refractive under normal light conditions. We do look a little more 'sparkly' as you aptly described it, to ourselves, but our eyes are more sensitive. It's only under direct exposure to the dazzling light of the sun that we're pulled into your visual spectrum."

She stood quietly for a few seconds, frowning slightly.

"Any other vampiric surprises I should know about?" she smiled coyly at me. I half wished there was something up my sleeve I could scare her with, but I had a feeling that my impressive arsenal of weapons would only fascinate her further.

"Let's see… I'm venomous. My body is running alive with a painful and deadly venom. I sparkle in the sunlight. I don't sleep. I read minds. I'm extremely strong, fast, and generally deadly. I can smell you, hear you and see you in great clarity. My perception of time is different from yours, and I can multi-task like you wouldn't believe."

"And you play piano, dance, sign, speak two zillion languages…" she laughed. "I suppose it could take a hundred years to get to know all of your talents."

"I will spend every day telling you, if you'd like." I offered. She beamed at me, and reached up to stroke my hair again. The sun had reappeared, and I was throwing light all over the room.

"I think I'd like that a lot." She folded herself into my black leather chair, tucking her feet into her thigh. She began rubbing them slightly. Was she cold? I made a mental note to check the heat settings in her house later. She rested her head on the back of the chair and stared out at the scenery. What was it that entranced her so? I sat down gently beside her, caught her eye.

"What are you thinking?"

She sighed, sadly, it sounded like. Jasper was providing no helpful commentary. Alice and the others had been unusually silent during this entire visit. Even Rosalie had spent her energies focusing on her cars instead of the extra person in our house. I waited patiently as I could for her to explain.

"I just feel very small sometimes in comparison. Very much like a flea trying to understand the complexity of the dog it's riding on." She stared determinedly out at the scenery, but that wasn't going to dissuade me. I moved gently into her field of view.

"I've felt very much the same way. As if you're an unspeakably deep cave. Every time I think I'm close to the end I find another bend, another cavern, another place to explore."

"I missed a word in there. Just before cave." She sighed, sadly again. I fingerspelled out 'unspeakably' and 'deep', unsure of which she had missed. Bella nodded.

"Alright. You have a very skewed perception of this relationship." She smiled. "And, show me more. How are your CD's organized? Do you have a library? What's the oldest thing in this house?"

"Besides Carlisle?" I clarified.

 _Well you aren't wrong._ My father chimed in.

Bella snorted a rush of air out of her nose and shook her head. "Shame on you."

"The CDs are by year, then favourites. We do have a library yes. It isn't Beauty and the Beast grandiose, but it is full of books I promise you have never seen. Half of which you'd need to speak another language to read. And I would say the oldest thing in this house is the antique cross we have at the top of the stairs. I may have whisked you past it too rapidly earlier for you to process it." I signed and spoke slowly, loudly. She nodded and looked curiously out the door towards the the cross I had mentioned.

"Show me?"


	49. Chapter 49 - Jasper

**New POV for you all! I had a sick day today, so I figured I'd lay in bed and keep writing Ha! :D Hope you enjoy.**

I played with Alice's hair as I closed my eyes and felt. The environment was so charged with positivity that I was determined to lay there and enjoy it. The past few weeks had been very negative, cautious, angry, explosive even and if it was possible for a vampire to earn a headache I undoubtedly would have had one. The family was loaded with strife, and I had been doing my best to ooze cool, calm, supportive emotions to all of them. There wasn't much I could do about Rosalie, except take the edge off of her more vicious emotions. If I interfered too much she'd be angrier, and we'd be back to square one.

The only two people who were safe to spend my time with were Esme and Alice. Alice, with her unique insight into the future, into happy moments Edward and the human Bella were undoubtedly going to have, was glowing with the prospect of seeing her older brother happy and mated finally. Esme was entranced at the thought that Edward, who had for so long assumed he would be alone, had finally found someone to share his thoughts with, to spend time with, to compose music about. They both emitted an unknowing and intrinsically deep _joy_ that warmed my soul. I had only once before been bombarded with such happiness… And that was the day I had met Alice.

I twisted her short spiky hair into little knots, as we sat, listening. Edward knew we were all listening, and trying not to. The palpable excitement in the house was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I had already begun to murmur at Alice with some whispers of what I was feeling from Bella.

"There's no fear in her. The only negative emotions I perceive are inadequacy and sometimes confusion. I'm unsure if that's to do with how much she hears, or whether she's processing information being thrown at her. She's cautious, but more optimistic than Edward. She's brave. I also get a strong sense of tenacity, the same kind from Rose. A stubbornness to not let anything get to her." I paused, tasting the air again. "Contentment. Curiosity. Admiration. Love."

"She's very deep isn't she?" Alice asked, watching me muddle through what I was feeling from her.

"Yes. Not half as complicated as us obviously, but she's certainly got the most interesting mix of reactive emotions when presented with unusual scenarios. She's legitimately not scared of our kind. The only fear I received from her was a sense of wanting to prove herself. That we would find her wanting."

"That we wouldn't like her?" the love of my life tilted her head to stare into my eyes at a better angle. I nodded. "Well what do you think of her?"

I smiled. "Besides the fact that I'm enjoying the emotional atmosphere she creates for our family…"

 _Give or take a car mechanic._ Alice signed, interrupting me.

"I am enthralled with her emotional climate. There's no hostility, deception, selfishness. The only negative emotions I feel from her are directed inwards. It's as if she feels like she's a misfit in the entire world. I can't explain it correctly." I closed my eyes and felt further. "Just that she's a good person, with a skewed perception of herself."

I felt as though I'd ended lamely, but Alice seemed content with my explanation. I lay back, watching the tiniest of spiders crawl across the ceiling. It darted this way and that, making its way towards the window from what I could see. Alice saw what I was looking at, and jumped up, delicately knocking it into her hand. She let it gently run along her stony fingers and escorted it to the window.

"Handle with care." She chimed, motioning the spider out.

 _The Spider, Edward, or Bella?_ I signed back.

"Why not all?" she smiled, dancing around in a circle and coming to lay on the bed beside me.

I thought about the kiss they'd just shared upstairs and shuddered. Being that close to your food. To something with that strong a scent, that strong a heartbeat. I wouldn't have been able to cope. Edward even, had experienced a flickering moment of indecision. Alice had tensed with fear. Edward had tensed with control and restraint. I had fought my own thirst to drive his down in that moment, overlaying a sense of the joy I had felt when he and Esme had met. The moment had passed. Bella had been blissfully unaware, still dazzled and happy at Edward's light show. And then he had finalized the decision to kiss, rather than kill. I wasn't sure if it was because Edward was so long alone, because she was human, or because everyone's relationships had different tenors, but it was an intense one. It had an almost orgasmic feel to it. I'd relayed the feeling to Alice just so that I wouldn't have to bear the power of it alone. It truly felt like they had created a mini-supernova of emotion that had exploded through me. It felt like two pieces clicking into place, and that finally something had settled. They felt – to me – as though they were made for each other.

Alice had then settled down contentedly, hugging my body.

"There's going to be a storm later." She said. "We can have a little baseball fun."

"What about the coven you discussed with Carlisle and Edward earlier today?" I remembered Edward's fierce protectiveness, Bella's amused irritation at Edward being called away so soon into her introduction to the house, and then Esme's avid determination to make her feel as comfortable as possible. What a wonderfully diverse time this was going to be. If Bella truly did begin frequenting our house, I would be subjected to quite the intense array of emotions that she seemed to elicit in my family.

"They're heading East again. Shouldn't be an issue." She said. In my opinion, she didn't sound as sure of this as her vision of the weather, but who was I to argue with the little pixie queen?

"Should we invite Bella?" I asked. Alice suddenly brimmed with tears of happiness. I was very glad I had the added advantage of my gift. The confusion I felt at why she was happily crying would have been doubled if I was trying to figure out what kind of tears they were in the first place. I did not envy Emmett or Carlisle in those respects. Deciphering the female mind was something we'd all discussed with Edward in much detail – with limited degrees of success.

"What?" I asked, hoping the happy tears were related to me.

"You're already accepting her as family Jazz! Even though you struggle, you're already more welcoming than Rose!"

"Well that's a very low standard to compare to." I chimed. She hit me playfully.

"You know what I mean. I'm so proud of you. I thought you'd be one of the ones to fight this. Esme and Carlisle are automatically welcoming, Rose is automatically anti-Bella. Emmett is objectively neutral for his own safety…"

I laughed as she continued. "And Edward and I are accepting of course. But I wasn't sure which side you'd be on."

"Alice, my love, how could you doubt I'd be anything except on your side?" I hugged her firmly, as she pulled me to my feet. We were going to ask everyone, officially, about the baseball game.


	50. Chapter 50

Edward had led me just outside of his room. The cross was ornate, carved from wood, worn, but in immaculate condition. It was at the top of the stairs, to our left was a bathroom, the door slightly ajar, on a space larger than my bedroom. I bet it had a huge tub. Still. Another day could take me exploring.

"It's beautiful." I whispered, wanting to touch it. I kept my fingers firmly in my pocket. If I truly wanted to touch something old I'd shake Carlisle's hand again. He was much less breakable and ornate looking. I spun slowly on the spot, wondering if my eyes could fall out of their head for looking so much, and wondering how bored Edward must be by the mundane ordinary-ness of my house and room. I was about to ask him how he could stand it, when he mumbled something.

"What do you think of the human -?" he asked.

"Huh?" I said, turning to face Edward, with my hands on my hips. He looked sheepish for a few seconds. He signed something with didn't help, and I felt my frown deepen. He then resorted to fingerspelling.

F-A-C-A-D-E.

"Ah." I needed to start writing some of these down. "I'm learning more signs hanging around you than I did in pretty much all my time at deaf school." I smiled, "I keep telling you to dumb it down."

I accidentally looked into his eyes at that moment, he was smiling and they were warm, excited, happy. I was momentarily distracted, and then I realised I had forgotten what we were discussing.

"Sorry what was the question?" I asked, beginning my slow descent of the stairs, my fingers sliding down the bannister while I admired the beautiful paintings that adorned the wall down the stairs – most of which seemed to have a Cullen signature on them.

 _How is the human illusion?_ He signed gesturing around at the house, while effortlessly descending the stairs backwards. I smiled at his unknowing supernaturalness. It made sense that the Cullen family might not actually even know how to look human. There was something slightly off, and I had to think about it. I glimpsed my empty boots, sitting where I had left them, askew at the door. I knew exactly how to put my finger on it.

"It's almost flawless."

Edward looked mildly shocked, and for a fleeting second I couldn't tell if it was real or fake.

"Almost?" he asked. Real then.

"Almost." I clarified, smiling. I paused on the stairs, gazing at a framed mount of what looked like five sets of graduation caps. It totally was. I continued descending, thinking about how awful that would be, living the same four years repeatedly over. It wasn't like my high school experience had been normal, but it at least had seemed fast so far. Their perception of time being what it was, I can only imagine how bored they probably were on a daily basis. And how the hell did they handle gym class? I had so many little questions. But first, to answer his question. I saw Edward's eyes move noticeably over my head, and I looked around. Carlisle and Esme had reappeared, descending the stairs behind us. I finished the stairs quickly, to get out of their way, but they took the stairs at the same pace we had.

I felt a gentle touch to my shoulder and turned to look at Edward. He looked extremely confused about the word 'almost'.

"Okay, well first off. Under no circumstances, not even under the grace of a doctor and architect, would five teenagers leave the house so spotless." I motioned around. "There isn't a stray phone charger, or discarded sweater, or even a stack of backpacks oozing out of a closet."

Esme looked thoughtful at my statement, Carlisle looked amused. Edward was looking speculatively around.

"Another thing… is that I haven't seen a box of tissues anywhere. I'm assuming you don't need to blow your noses?" I laughed shyly I had been fortunate that it wasn't too cold outside and that my nose wasn't running. Esme clapped her hands to her face in ashamed amusement. Carlisle shook his head, and looked at Edward.

"It's no wonder that Bella had us figured out so quickly." He spoke towards me, and signed for my benefit. He then turned to me directly. "You are far too observant for your own good." He signed ' _You see too much_ ' to accentuate his speech. I blushed.

"Honestly other than that it's perfect. It's homely and open and warm. It's beautiful. It's just far too clean for the amount of people that live here." I looked absentmindedly over at the piano and its black shiny bench. Edward was over to it, quick as a flash. As he sat down his hand patted the bench for me to join him, and there was not a smear to be seen. I began creeping forwards, and then turned to Carlisle.

"Do you leave fingerprints?" I asked Carlisle. On a surface that smooth and dark, they should have been obvious in the daylight. He smiled knowingly, and astounded.

"We do not. Our bodies are not covered in the oils that yours are." Carlisle looked amused and impressed.

"So I'm the only one leaving fingerprints here? Yikes. I'll wear a hazmat suit next time." I clasped my hands together, thinking about the banister I'd just essentially smeared oil all over. Esme shook her head furtively.

"Please no, Bella. Don't worry about a single thing like that. You have no idea what a pleasure it is to host you here."

As I blushed, the sun broke through the clouds again and I was dazzled with Esme and Carlisle's addition to the sparkle-fest. The room was alight with so many dancing balls of light I felt as though I'd been transported into a kaleidoscope tube. I sat down on the piano bench beside Edward, and he rested his hand on my lower back, stroking his thumb reassuringly, as I marvelled at the patterns dancing across the ceiling.

"How do you ever get used to sparkling like this?" I asked. "It's beautiful."

Esme looked so elated I wondered how Jasper was getting through all of this. "I haven't yet. I still thoroughly enjoy my sunny days."

I felt a cacophony of noise beside me. It was a very confusing sound, and I looked aroud to see Edward's hands flying across the piano at a speed I wouldn't have thought possible. I focused hard, trying to hear as much as I could, but the amount of noise coming out made the piece sound like it was being played underwater on a static-filled radio. I instead began watching Edward. He seemed so relaxed, so happy. It was a stark contrast between the first few times in biology class. I tucked my one foot under the crook of my other leg, turning slightly so I was facing him more. He was barely looking at the keys, watching me, watching him. His hands slowed, and I began picking up more of the notes. I wondered if it was the same song, dramatically slower.

I knew how to play a few songs. It had been part of my rehabilitation and therapy. Something to monitor my hearing range and loss. I wouldn't play in here though. Not in front of the family.

"Can you play?" He had asked me that before. I had managed to avoid really answering then. But now… I wonder if I could get him to play half of it. Would he even know the tune? And what if I got it wrong?

No, that was a silly thing to think of. I knew this. I began to work up my courage as I rested my hands on some keys.

"I don't know it you know it… and I haven't played in a year at least." I looked over at Carlisle and Esme, apologetically, but they looked only pleasant and patient. I could do this. I began pressing at the keys. Walking in the Air, by George Winston began slowly working its way out of my fingers. Edward took up the lower half, and I realised that between the both of us, I could hear his right hand and my left – the middle range of the piano. I couldn't hear anything my right, or his left was playing. I focused very intently on what I was doing, remembering the keystrokes as best I could. As we played I relaxed more, and could see Edward doing the same. I tried not to get distracted by the moving prisms of light that bounced around my field of view, and just focused.

I knew the piece was usually around 6 minutes long, but I also knew that I had begun it at a slower tempo than when I was practicing. When I finally got to the end of the song, everything seemed to be perfectly still. Even Edward's hands were frozen on the keyboard. I folded my hands into my lap, and felt my confidence, my assurance at being comfortable enough to play in front of Edward's family, vanish. I suddenly felt shy and awkward again. And then ever so slightly pissed off.

"Jasper." I whispered accusingly. I looked around, and saw him and Alice perched gently on the stairs. Obviously close enough to manipulate, but far enough that I hadn't noticed them. He stood and walked down the stairs slowly.

"Hello again Bella." He nodded his head, signing slowly as he spoke. Alice bounded down beside him, coming to rest beside Esme. "I'm sorry. Edward really wanted to hear you play." He looked sheepish, and not at all as guilty as I felt he should have. "To be honest I'm surprised you picked up on it. I was trying to be subtle."

I folded my hands into my lap and glared at him, not half as meanly as I should have.

"I don't appreciate the coercion, but I understand it. It was subtle at first. You got too cocky I think. You didn't ease off slowly enough."

He began laughing too. Apparently I was on fire today in the amusement department.

"I've never been given tips before on how to be better at coercing others. Most people are just as pissed as you were, and less forgiving."

I blushed a little, and this time, the traitorous sun disappeared, and I'm sure I was the most evident thing in the room. I looked back at Edward, to see how he was doing, and he seemed so happy it almost hurt to look at. He was legitimately beaming.

"Thank you for playing with me."

"Yeah well, think of it as your birthday present for the next ten years." I chuckled. Edward looked towards his family and I turned to face them. Alice had raised her hand to speak, and was waiting patiently for me. This insane courtesy would take some getting used to.

"There's a wonderful storm coming in. So I wanted to ask everyone if they'd be down for some baseball." She had signed and spoken very clearly, and yet I had still obviously missed something. I raised my hand to speak. Alice laughed, and pointed at me, as a teacher would indicate to a student that they could speak.

"I'm sorry, but I clearly missed something. I thought you said there was a storm coming, and that you wanted to play baseball."

"That's exactly what I said." She nodded. "We need the storm to cover the sounds of us playing. We're rather loud about it."

Carlisle raised his hand. I looked over at him.

"We're in of course." Carlisle said, placing his arm around his wife. He had been talking to Alice, but made sure that I didn't miss anything. This was the most I'd ever caught in a conversation ever. The Cullen family was inconveniencing themselves immensely, and yet they all appeared as if this was the most natural conversation they'd had. They all turned to look at us.

"What about Rose and Emmett?" Esme asked. I looked behind me, curious – had they snuck in? - and realised quickly that they were asking Edward. He tilted his head gently, towards the garage I had glimpsed outside.

"They're in."

Again I felt a flash of guilt. Rosalie and Emmett didn't feel comfortable enough being in the house with me. I resorted my emotion to calm but I was only half sure it was my doing. Edward touched my shoulder.

"Would you like to come?" he asked.


	51. Chapter 51

Did I want to go and play baseball with a vampire family? Absolutely. I was unlikely to actually play, but maybe they'd let me call the score or something. Although, I wasn't 100% sure how baseball scoring worked, so that could also be interesting.

"I'd love to…" I trailed off nervously. But where would we be going?

"You won't be actually playing with us." Edward said, reassuringly.

"That I had figured. I was actually wondering where we were going. We surely aren't playing on the Fork's High field?" I turned to look at the rest of the family, and Alice's hand raised, fast as lightning. She switched to signing as soon as she realized my gaze and attention was on her.

"There's a forest clearing in the middle of nowhere actually. We'll run to and play there."

My stomach prickled. I still was not okay being carried by Edward. Moments ago he had whisked me up the stairs and I swear that my fear was only abated by Jasper's soothing influence. Normally I was not that calm. I knew it was irrational, but losing control of my own momentum was a scary thing for me.

"I…. don't think I'll feel comfortable getting there." I said slowly, looking back at Edward with apology in my eyes. "Maybe next time we can hike out there in the day… or something." I tried not to, but I could feel shame crawling up my neck in the form of an embarrassed blush. Edward pulled me close, quickly and mumbled something that I missed.

"Pardon?" I whispered. He pulled back so that I could see his lips.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I keep forgetting that I can't just kidnap you at my leisure."

"Well I mean, you can, but there are some caveats." I turned to the rest of the family. "Honestly, thank you so much, and next time I swear it. Between now and then I'll even make an effort to learn about baseball."

Esme and Carlisle laughed. I knew he probably didn't mean to, but Jasper looked slightly relieved. It must truly be difficult for him, having my scent rubbed all over his home. Alice looked vacant, and it wasn't until she smiled again and began filling me in that I realised what she was doing.

"The next storm worthy of a game will be three weeks from now. Plenty of time to figure out how to actually get you comfortably to the field, and to get you outfitted."

"Outfitted?" I asked, concerned. "I thought you said I wasn't playing."

"No, but you might as well look the part. We all have uniforms. " She danced away upstairs with Jasper, waving her goodbye on that strange note, and Carlisle caught my attention.

"I am sorry to say that I have to leave for a few hours, and so am unlikely to see you again today. The hospital has requested my presence for the rest of the afternoon." He held up his small silver cell phone. "It truly was a pleasure seeing you again Bella. You're always welcome here."

He gave a small bow and I grinned back shyly at him. Carlisle disappeared and reappeared with a doctor's bag and a lab coat slung casually over it. He pecked Esme chastely on the cheek, and then headed out the door. Esme too chose to leave, disappearing, into what I assumed was the kitchen. I was likely to follow her. I did really want to explore the rest of the house. I couldn't even imagine trying to buy a house this large. Edward stood up and spun around lazily in circles, his skin normal now that the sun had resigned itself to cloud cover.

"I really am sorry –" I began, but a cold, firm hand gently pressed itself to my lips.

"Please stop apologizing."

"I can't help it. I hate showing weakness." I bit my lower lip as I sighed through my nose. Edward looked thoughtful.

"You think of your fear as a weakness?"

"Of course I do. Wouldn't you?" I frowned at him. He remained still, gazing thoughtfully.

"I've never really had anything to fear before. The fear of reprimand is about as close as I would have come in the past. It makes you numb, and uncaring. There isn't really anything you can strive for, or strive to overcome."

"I'm afraid far too often for my own liking."

"You deal with it though. The strength and perseverance you show during managing it has made you better _because_ of your fear, no?" he said. I thought about it.

"Maybe if it was something rational. Like spiders, or vampires." I added with a laugh. "But of a lack of control over my own momentum – be it through being driven, or carried – seems like a stupid fear."

"Think of it as a misplaced sense of self-preservation."

"If I had any sense of self-preservation I don't think I would have so blithely wandered into this house today." I pointed out. "You _do_ keep reminding me of how dangerous you are." I rolled my eyes.

"You don't think I'm dangerous still?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Well feel free to start throwing trees around." I shrugged happily. Edward shook his head.

"What did the trees ever do to me?"

"Hide your squirrel snacks." I laughed. He smirked again, but then his face fell serious.

"I did find something to be afraid of though."

That took me off guard. I looked astonished at him, as he looked meaningfully at me.

"You aren't frightened of me?" I asked incredulously.

"Not _of_ you. _For_ you. When you were nearly hurt… if my heart could race I swear it would have burst from exertion. I've never felt so on edge, so… alive. So frail."

I waited to be sure he was done, and hugged him as hard as I could. All I succeeded in doing was ruffling his clothing, but he hugged me back.

"I'll try not to have any more near death experiences, but honestly – I've been like this my whole life. You wait until you see the scars I have." I shook my head at myself, and then laughed. To show him all my scars I'd have to strip down, and wouldn't that be an evening filled with some sexual tension? I tried to divert myself, looking around again. I was so happy that Edward couldn't read my mind.

I wandered into the zone Esme had disappeared into, and found an astonishingly beautiful kitchen. I stood, amazed at the view. It looked as immaculate and well designed as the ones you see on home renovation shows for millionaires. Esme had a miniscule stack of dishes that she was busying herself with. I gingerly peeked inside the fridge and was surprised to see a variety of things in there, including juices, eggs, butter, applesauce, carrots, and strawberries. I looked back at Edward with a question.

"Esme bakes. Frequently. All kinds of strange concoctions." He informed me. Esme looked up sharply from the bowl she had been replacing into the cupboard. I saw the mother's disapproving glare and kept my lips firmly closed and grin free.

"They aren't strange concoctions. I do my research and make sure that everything I try has been recommended by others." Esme looked rather miffed.

Edward held up his hands in acquiescence, with a grin.

"Who do you bake for?" I asked.

"The children in the hospitals mostly," she flapped her hand slightly dismissively. "They're always far too gracious with praise, and so I'm never sure if I'm actually improving at all."

"I volunteer as tribute." I murmured, smiling. Esme lit up with joy again. "I'm sure Charlie would love if I brought him baked goods too. He's always up for food."

"I'd like that!" she said, signing a 'thank you'. "Are you hungry now?"

I thought about it for a few seconds. "I don't think so, thank you."

This time Edward caught my attention with a tickle. I spun far too quickly around and lost my balance. Edward had enclosed his arms in a protective case around me, and we almost floated to the ground. As I landed on him it felt as though I'd hit a couch a little too hard, instead of splaying over the expensive tile. My heart was racing and I felt a tiny squeal of fright escape my lips as we went down. When we'd stopped I blushed and began clumsily righting myself. Edward apologized and I just laughed.

"I told you, I'm full of surprises, and near death experiences."

 **AN: The baseball scene is not a 'no' it's a 'later'! I can't wait to write it, and I think you'll like my plan for what I have next.**


	52. Chapter 52

We spent the next few hours exploring. I asked questions about décor, vampire habits, and random routines. They had the largest television I'd ever seen, and I knew that Charlie would be jealous if I described it. Edward had turned it on with the tiniest remote I'd ever seen, and it was now displaying a baseball game. A slight sadness filed me and I re-expressed my regret at not being able to attend the baseball game.

"Perhaps we can utilize some modern technology for this instance?" Edward asked, looking as though he'd found an especially clever counter argument for something. "I believe you video-chat your mother?"

"You want to video chat a baseball game?" I laughed.

"Call it a live stream," he grinned in response. This was utterly ridiculous. I shook my head in bemusement, and bit my lip.

"Really? You'd do that?" I couldn't help but feel intrigued. Edward nodded enthusiastically at me, but his eyes shifted, as if his name had been called, away from me and he squinted in a glare ever so slightly. I'm almost positive I knew who would have been the note of discord there.

 _They really don't like me?_ I signed tentatively.

"In his defense, Emmett has nothing against you, he's just safely siding with his wife." Edward scowled, loudly enough that I had very clearly heard him. I'm sure that the raised voice wasn't for the benefit of me. Edward glared over to the garage again, listening to some kind of reply.

Edward began signing; _Rosalie is complicated. She fears more for her own safety than she cares to meet you._ "I will admit…" Edward switched to speaking. "Rose seems happy enough…." And back to signing ' _In her own way_ …' "That I'm happy."

"Her dislike of the clumsy human is slightly overruled by love for her big brother?" I whispered, with a sad smile. I hated making people uncomfortable.

"Exactly." He nodded.

I sat in silence for a few moments, considering, and was interrupted by a strong vibration in my back pocket. I had honestly forgotten my phone was there. It had been such an intriguing day that I'd sort of stepped out of the range of normalcy.

I weaseled out my phone and took a look. There were two messages that had come in at the same time.

 _Hey Bells. I'm going to be out late with Billy today. We got a good catch, and we are headed over to Harry's to share._ _You can come over too. Or fend for yourself. Let me know kid._ Charlie.

 _Happy Saturday Bella! You'd mentioned coming over today and I just wanted to be sure we'd save you some dinner if you were._ Angela.

Well that killed two birds with one stone. I quickly messaged Charlie that he should stay, and have fun, I'd be headed to Angela's for dinner, and then I messaged Angela to tell her I'd be over soon.

I looked up at Edward, who was currently tracing the seam of my jeans.

"What time are you all going to be playing tonight?" I asked.

"Seven." He held up the sign too. He was watching me with contemplative eyes.

"Is it alright if I go to Angela's for dinner, and then head back home for this epic baseball stream?" I asked. Edward's eyes flashed and he frowned.

"You don't need to ask my permission to do anything Bella."

"I was just trying to be courteous and informative." I reassured him, holding my hands up, on the defensive. "Besides, I know you would feed me, but I'd feel really weird being the only one eating in the house."

"I could go grab some squirrels." Edward mocked, pretending to be speculative.

"That will never stop being funny." I chuckled, and then tried to force my face into not smiling. "But I'm assuming you'd want them alive, and that's far too much squeaking for my taste."

Edward threw up his hands in a mock 'oh dear' gesture, and then resumed tracing my jeans.

"Speaking of food…" I started. "What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?"

Edward raised his eyebrow disapprovingly but thought about it anyway. "Probably a puffin."

"A puffin?"

"Yes, a puffin. It was a dare." Edward glowered into the ceiling.

"I ate snails once. I was six – or maybe seven – and I'd just learned about escargot. So Jacob and I washed a snail each from the garden, and…" I shuddered with the memory. It was the grossest thing I could ever remember doing. My stomach riled at the thought. Edward looked almost horrified.

"What's the smallest and the largest thing you've ever eaten?" I asked again, as Edward watched me with concerned fascination.

"The largest would be a grizzly bear for me, and the smallest… probably a squirrel actually." He admitted ashamedly as I laughed. "You should really play this game with Emmett and Jasper. They've done some extensive travelling, and would undoubtedly have a larger list to go through."

"Has anyone tried a whale?" I asked, surprised at myself. "I mean, that's gotta be a large enough meal to warrant a take-home bag."

Edward smiled, and then groaned. "I'll give you three guesses as to what my brothers will be doing the next time we're in Alaska."

"Oops. Sorry." I smiled. Edward glanced upward and then back to me.

"Alice says it's going to rain shortly. If you don't want to arrive at Angela's wet, then you should leave now."

"Uh… Thank you, Alice." I said, looking up to the ceiling, in what I hoped was a slightly louder voice than the one I was talking to Edward with. Edward cupped his hand towards his chest in a 'You're welcome' sign.

I began reluctantly headed towards the door, gathering my mental awareness together. I'd been in a very dream-like state here. It had felt very comfortable, except for the whole – only person leaving fingerprints, hair, and oil thing. I'd have to start wearing long sleeves, and maybe keeping my hair tied up. I stumbled into my shoes at the door, and Edward helped me into my coat. When I turned back around Esme was there again, holding a plastic container that looked suspiciously full of muffins or cupcakes. She offered it to me.

"Thank you for being brave enough to come here today. I'm so happy that you're managing to lighten Edward's life."

"Did you bake these just now? I mean while I was here?" I asked, blushing. She nodded. How did I not smell that? How had I not noticed?

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you working in the kitchen, or I would have helped." I started to apologize. She merely laughed, handing me the container again. I took it.

"Thank you. For this… for your hospitality, for everything." I said.

' _Anytime'_. She signed, and Edward ushered me out towards my truck, looking dubiously at the sky. The sky did look rather menacing, a depressing twist from such a beautiful day. It was hard to believe it was going to storm before, but now I definitely believed it. I clambered into my truck, as Edward held the door open and helped me in.

"I'll video chat you at seven o'clock exactly." He said, looking a little sad that I was leaving.

"Good." I said. "I'll be sure I'm done eating and home. I can't wait to see this. I think it'll be fascinating."

 _Plus, you'll look cute in a baseball outfit._ I signed, shyly. Edward rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Alice is already working on designing yours, you should know."

I shuddered at the thought of trying to run in a game, competitively, or worse, trying to hit a ball.

"Yeah, we'll talk about that later." I squinted suspiciously at the house, and closed my truck doo. Edward backed away, smiling.

 _Until later._

I did a very clumsy, and probably very loud three-point turn, and began making my way down the fantastically long driveway. I would have fun explaining parts of this day to Angela, undoubtedly.

Alice's timing was impeccable. As I was pulling up outside of Angela's house, the first few rain drops began to fall, splattering onto my windshield. I hurried up to the door and knocked. I couldn't hear the barking, but I saw the door shake with Rocky's weight as he informed her that someone was there. A few seconds later I was barrelled to the ground as the door opened.

"Ouch – Hey Rocky. Jeez, you think I'd been gone for years." All of his weight disappeared as Angela helped me up, looking really concerned. My face was burning a little – one of Rocky's claws had caught me. It hadn't broken the skin from what I could feel, but a nasty welt-scratch was stretched across my cheek.

"I'm sorry about that Bella." Angela said, addressing me clearly. "Rocky gets really wound up when storms are coming in."

"He's not the only one." I muttered, making my way indoors. I shed my coat, and boots, feeling much less like an outcast here. In the Cullen house, everything was so impeccably clean and perfect, that I felt like I was a dark, and dirty stain walking through. However welcoming they were, it was awfully hard to shake the 'gross human' with 'perfect vampire' thing. I had felt welcomed, but shy, uneasy at the thought that I was causing discord and discomfort. At Angela's house, I was the cleanest thing in here. With two younger brothers, and the mountain of a dog, everything was covered in something sticky, pointy, or hairy. We ate almost immediately, a king's dinner, of sloppy joes and sweetcorn, with Esme's vanilla muffins as a dessert. After a sad attempt at some dishes, we went up to Angela's room. Her room was the second cleanest thing in the house – if I counted as the first. It was the only safe-haven from mess, with the exception of dog hair.

"So today I was over at the Cullen house." I started, quietly. Angela smiled, and raised her eyebrow for me to continue. "Edward brought me home to meet his parents."

"And I'm going to guess that they loved you." She said, almost too quietly for me to catch. As good as Angela was at including me in conversations, the Cullens were definitely better.

"They were very welcoming. I felt very unnerved by being the center of so much attention. But they invited me to a family event a few weeks from now, and nobody killed me, so all in all success." I smiled. My inside joke was mainly for my own sanity. I had felt remarkably safe with them, but who knows how much of that was actually me? The whole food chain situation was going to take some getting used to. Angela shook her head, comfortingly.

"I probably would have felt overwhelmed too. A family that large to be introduced to would be pretty intimidating." She looked around, checking her surroundings for the possibility of being overheard. I wondered idly if she could hear her brothers outside the door or something, because she switched to signing.

 _B.E.N. asked me to meet family._

My face lit up with enthusiasm. _And?_

 _And so I asked him to come meet mine too._

"That's so exciting Ang. You have no need to be nervous at all, you realise that? You're unfathomably sweet, and definitely less of a nuisance than I." I reassured her.

"Nuisance?" she asked, for clarification. I sighed, relaying one of my insecurities.

"The whole Cullen household –" give or take a few "Took it upon themselves to start learning how to sign. I guess the Doctor already knew it, and he's been teaching the others. They also make sure to raise their hands when they're talking, even if it's not to me, so that I can keep up with the flow of conversation."

"That must have been a huge relief for you then. A pleasant surprise." She said, her face relaying her confusion.

"I didn't want anyone to have to jump through hoops, or go out of their way on my account." I said, sadly. "I feel like it's too much. You know? They're already being nice enough that Edward's bringing me places, without going to all that trouble…" I trailed off, and looked meaningfully at her, hoping she'd understand.

"I understand what you're feeling." She said, then smiled. "But I also think you're an idiot."

I did a double take. Angela and insults? That was the most bizarre combination ever.

"People don't learn sign and be extra courteous because they _have_ to…" she started, emphasizing the 'have' with a very condescending head shake. "They do it because they _want_ to."

I wanted to respond with something, anything else that would somehow seem adequate, but instead sat in silence for a few seconds. That was short lived, as Angela's two brothers made an appearance, covered in glitter and between shooing them out and trying to scoop up the mess, we ended up swamped, distracted, and ironically sparkly. When I caught sight of my sparkly and slightly disheveled reflection in the mirror, I reminisced on the beautiful day I'd been having, and tried to lighten up a little. I was a very lucky person to be in the situation I was in. Alive, healthy, no bone breaks (currently anyway), a supernatural boyfriend who felt more like a soulmate than a high school crush, I'd just had a pretty darn beautiful day, and I still had more to look forward to. Life was good.


	53. Chapter 53

By the time I actually reached my house it was 6:45. I raced to shower, and get into some clean pyjamas before Edward called. I managed it with two minutes to spare, and no injuries, and sat on my bed, plugging some headphones into my phone, to try and help direct as much sound as possible. I left the bedroom door open, so I'd see the hall light flick on if Charlie came home, and I rested myself on my bed. At exactly 7 o clock my phone buzzed. I picked up the video chat, and was greeted with Edward's face. It looked as though he were on a motorcycle. His face and breathing looked normal, but his hair was being tousled by wind, and the dark greenery around him was blurred with movement.

 _Hello_. He saluted.

 _Hello._ I responded.

His phone, as far as I could tell, was muted from the wind. I was just about to ask him about it when he stopped moving. He turned the camera around himself, displaying a wide clearing, and a rush of noise entered the headphones. I could even manage to hear Jasper and Emmett laughing as they ran at blur inducing speeds around an immensely large area. Those couldn't possibly be the bases could they?

Alice danced a gentle pirouette on a small mound of dirt, before gently tossing a ball in the direction of the phone. I saw Edward's hand flash out in front of the camera to catch it in time, the nearness of the catch causing me to jump, and then it disappeared again as he threw it back to her. Edward turned the phone next to Carlisle and Esme, who waved, and across Rosalie, who dropped the aluminum bat she held, and scowled disdainfully at me. As angry as she was, she was still the most beautiful thing in the scene. She too disappeared, to be replaced by Edward's smiling face.

"So you just run around and let loose?" I asked.

"Exactly." He said. "The bases are marked out to the very edge of the clearing, and the outfield stretches into the forest."

"How loud are you yelling right now?" I asked with a laugh.

"Quite. The only thing louder is Rosalie's eye rolling." The scenery suddenly changed behind him, and in my honest opinion, it looked as though Edward had managed a flip mid-air, and the phone camera had stayed perfectly fixed on his face, as if affixed to a helmet camera. It was a very disorienting feeling. I heard an angry "Rose-a-lee!" from a scary sounding Esme, before Edward held the phone closely again and asked:

"Do you mind if I pass you to Esme in a few moments? I'm up to bat first."

 _After she's finished chastising Rose?_ I asked in sign, not bothering to spell her whole name. Audibly I answered his question. "Of course."

Edward laughed again. There was a smooth blur, and Esme's smiling face greeted me quickly, before she winked, and turned the phone to view the game. Edward was standing, impossibly far, away from Alice. I could see flashes of blonde hair in the distance, also impossibly far away, covering bases I assumed.

I didn't see the pitch, and I didn't see the swing, but suddenly, the bat was falling to the ground, and Edward had disappeared. There was a flurry of movement and suddenly Edward was back, sliding into the plate under where the bat had just fallen. Jasper was there too, reaching and crashing into Edward. Esme managed to keep the video on them as they crashed into home. It looked like a hell of a crash, but all that seemed disturbed was the dirt they had carved out of the way. Edward and Jasper got up again, laughing, and Jasper plucked the ball from the dirt, casually tossing it with unimaginable accuracy to Alice.

Edward turned towards the camera and signed at me. _I won that. Esme called the play in my favour._

Esme's face appeared, as she turned the camera towards herself. " _They play dirty. I keep them in check."_ She signed and spoke. I smiled at her.

"Teenagers." I laughed. She nodded, and turned the phone again towards the field.

Emmett was up to pitch.

The game was so fast and fascinating that I almost missed the light flick on in the hallway. I would probably not be able to keep watching without Charlie bugging me. He hadn't seen me for a while, and I'd just dropped the boyfriend thing on him, after all.

"Um, I'm not sure if you can hear me…" I muttered. "But Charlie's home, and I have to go."

Esme's face reappeared, and she smiled at me.

"Edward says 'goodnight, and he'll see you soon.' He's stuck on second currently." From the look on her face, she found that highly amusing.

"Thank you Esme. For everything. This was amazing. I'll see you all soon."

"I do hope so my dear."

I shut the phone call off, and pulled out my earphones. My brain was still buzzing with the incredible images the tiny phone screen had been trying to relay. Despite the steadiness and precision of the camera, it would have been so much better being there. Next time I would be. I was determined.

I began to leave my bed when a shadow appeared at my door. It scared me so much I dropped my phone. I felt it hit my bedroom floor and winced. The light flicked on. It was Charlie, of course.

"What are you doing sitting here in the dark?" he asked.

"I was on the phone to Edward. I hadn't noticed it had gotten so dark." I answered, picking up my phone. The screen was cracked. I'd been lucky too many times. I looked up at Charlie, flashing him my phone. "You scared me half outta my wits."

 _Sorry_. He signed. _I'll get you a new one_. We both stood there a second, me running my hands over my phone, keeping an eye on him. He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again.

"It went well." I interjected, so that he didn't have to figure out how to tactfully ask. "Esme Cullen is really really nice and welcoming. She did bake us something – but I made the mistake of stopping at Angela's and there's nothing left. I already owe Carlisle for the whole doctor thing, so we were all kind of on friendly terms from the get-go."

He nodded his head, and turned to go, then turned back.

"- breakfast tomorrow Bells?"

"Sure dad."

"You mind doing me a favour?" he asked.

"Sure?" I asked in return.

"Can you drive me to Billy's tomorrow? I was hoping to drink a little, and I'm going to catch a ride off of Sue, on the way back."

"Yeah, no problem dad." I said. "Besides, it'll give me a chance to talk with Jake." I had to remind him of our escargot adventure.

Charlie left then, for good, and I switched off the light, settling down into my bed, and setting my watch alarm for the morning.

I spent the next little while lying in bed, texting my mom details about today. My phone did still respond to touch, but there were a few difficult segments. The screen had cracked in only one spot across the keyboard, but heavily into the display. I'd need a new one to video chat anyone in the future.

Renee was up, and responded with vigor regarding Edward and I had no choice but to swear we'd have a proper video chat tomorrow to discuss it. I fell asleep watching the occasional flickers of light, flashes from the storm outside. Any time my window rattled, I would imagine that instead of thunder, it was the resulting sound of the clash of two enthusiastic Cullen boys playing baseball, and my night time musings managed to send me off to sleep.


	54. Chapter 54

**Surprise! So soon! Wow! I'm on a roll :D**

My watch buzzing brought me back into consciousness. I lay there thinking about my dreamless night, and how surreal it had been. I was a little disoriented at first… Why was I awake so early on a Sunday? I turned off the alarm and started to get up. Charlie. I was having breakfast with him, and driving him to Billy's. I stretched and smoothed back my eyebrows and hair, I stretched my neck, and then rolled my shoulders. I was forgetting something. I started to pull off my T-shirt when I froze. Edward. I scanned the room quickly, expecting to see him laughing at my ignorance of his presence, but found only my still, empty room. He had said he would be by after baseball. But perhaps he had also taken my advice on 'asking before stalking' a little too seriously. I had assumed he was going to be here tonight, but perhaps I had not given him permission to do so, and he was playing it safe. I reached out to my phone to text him, and found it unresponsive. The hell? Last night I had managed an entire text conversation with my mother. Apparently that was my poor phone's heroic last deed. It wouldn't turn on at all.

I took it downstairs with me, once I was dressed, and began breakfast. Charlie appeared moments later with a newspaper, and started some coffee, orange juice, and toast. I cracked eggs into a frying pan, and then pried into my phone to get the cards out. If I got the same model, I'd just replace the cards into it, and still have all of my stuff. Maybe minus a picture or two.

Charlie and I ate breakfast quietly, while I mulled over where to get my new phone. Charlie had already said he'd pay for it – probably out of his retirement fund. That sucked, and I'd need to get a stronger protective case for it next time. This would not be a regular occurrence.

"Thank you for driving me into La Push today." Charlie began.

 _Fine_. I signed, smiling. It was a very general sign for 'no worries'. It was one I knew he knew. "I get to see Jake too ya know. And it's better that you can relax on Sunday than have to worry about being sober enough to drive yourself home. You don't take much time for yourself." _You work too hard_.

"Yeah. I kept worrying that I would be leaving you alone too much, but you seem to be out almost more than me. I'm glad you're fitting in here Bells. As much as I don't like the boyfriend thing, I think I'm kind of relieved too."

"While also wanting to run background checks, and get out your gun?" I asked. I was his daughter after all. I saw his mouth move as he mumbled something, but since he didn't raise his eyes to meet mine, I assumed I wasn't really meant to hear it anyway.

I shook m y head with a laugh, and proceeded upstairs to brush my teeth and grab my keys. By the time I was settled in my truck, Charlie had loaded two cases of beer, and some fishing gear into the truck bed, and was sitting dejectedly in the passenger seat. He hated being dependant on people. We drove, again, in silence, but it was never uncomfortable. It was only with Edward that I really talked continuously. Even Angela and I were quiet together.

I remembered Edward's treaty, and Jacob's story about the La Push wolves. For the next little bit, he wouldn't be able to come find me anyway. I'd see him when I got back. When we pulled up to Billy's, Jacob was maneuvering his father down a ramp. I guess the truck really was that loud. People could hear me coming from a mile away.

"Hey Bella!" Jacob said boomingly. His father nodded a 'hello' too. I waved back, getting out. Charlie began unloading his crates of beer and fishing gear, resting some on Billy's lap, and handing some to Jacob. I wasn't given anything, probably a good move, since the driveway was muddy and slippery enough to warrant full attention.

"Hey Jake, do you remember the escargot incident?" I asked amicably. He stopped in his tracks.

"Ugh. Bells it's been literally years since I've thought about that. I just had breakfast." He laughed, looking slightly green.

"It came up recently, and I started to worry I'd imagined it." I confided.

I stayed in the entranceway, I wouldn't be staying for too much longer. The men-folk unloaded their things, and Jacob came back out to see why I wasn't coming in.

"you aren't staying for the game?" he asked.

"I don't even know what sport the game is." I said, rolling my eyes. Jake laughed a little.

"Fair point. You need one of those shirts that says 'yay sports, score the points'." He said, making air-quotations around the shirt phrase.

"Yeah no kidding. I also wanted to ask you something." I pointed back towards my truck. "How come that thing's louder than an aeroplane?"

He laughed. "So I can hear you coming of course. I could try and take a look at it, but to be honest – it's just old."

"Yeah I figured." I sighed and wrinkled my nose. "Well whatever. It's functional."

"Beggars can't be choosers." Jake said solemnly. He then brightened up. "I'm learning more signs you know."

 _Hello. I'm J.A.K.E. I know a little sign. I know slow fingerspelling._ He articulated. I grinned at him.

"Well done. I'm impressed." I was flattered too.

"I've got some weird ones down. Some swearing, basic conversation, some question words, that kinda thing. Though I do only have my dad to practice on, and he's kinda useless."

"Well I would say you could video-chat me, but I busted my phone last night. It's another reason I can't stay. I have to head to Port Angeles and get one today."

 _Shit._ He signed.

"Language Jake." I giggled, heading back to the car. "You're taking care of reverse transport right? For Charlie?"

"Yeah yeah. We'll drop him home later." He waved. I saluted him, and thanked him in sign. He lit up as he signed ' _you're welcome'_ in return.

I got back in my truck and headed back to Forks. It had begun drizzling again. I wondered if it would be intrusive to drive to the Cullen household, uninvited, and so soon after the last time. It was also the longest I'd gone without hearing from Edward in a while, but perhaps that was due to my broken phone. Would Alice know it was broken? I made a mental note to ask her about that later. I began steering towards Port Angeles instead. It was better that I fixed the whole phone situation as soon as possible.

The sky darkened the farther into the forested areas I got, and it took on a rather creepy green tinge in the mist of the still and moist air. I saw a sudden white blur beside my truck and slammed my breaks on. That definitely looked familiar. Exactly like the Cullens had been running around yesterday. I pulled the truck to the side of the road, and looked around at the forest. Had I been imagining it?

"Edward?" I asked, nervously, into the empty truck cab. I saw a scattering of a dozen birds beside the road. He must be in there. I looked behind me and could see another car making its way down the road. Ah! He didn't want to be seen brazenly running through the woods by others. I watched he car I could see in the distance, until it seemed to be turning away. I unclipped my seatbelt, and got out of the truck. I left the door open, and the engine idling, as I planned to return very shortly. I looked away for a split second, and into the forest, then I found him.

And he was not Edward.


	55. Chapter 55

He looked more like Jasper, but – if it was possible – more sinister. He had slightly ripped and rugged looking clothing. He was barefoot, his blond hair twisted at the nape of his neck. He was definitely a vampire, although he had the strangest eyes. They were bright crimson in colour. I supposed that the vegetarian diet the Cullen's adopted was reflected in their eyes. And then I criticised myself for wasting time thinking about his eyes.

"Sorry." _Sorry_. I said and signed, nervously. "I thought you were someone else." _I'll just be going._

His eyes flashed with amusement, and he took a casual step forward. I backed up slowly towards my truck. I could smell the exhaust piling up in the space we were in. Again, it was a strange thing to note, when I was clearly in danger. I swallowed quickly.

"Are you with the Cullens? This is their territory, after all." I spelled out 'Cullen', and motioned around vaguely. I hoped that dropping their name might grab his attention, or at least his hesitation. Was their claimed territory in the vampire world? I sure as hell hoped so. My senses were beginning to sharpen. I was losing my hearing, but my vision, my sense of smell, my feeling of the cold rain tingling against my skin, this was all heightened. He mumbled something at me.

"I'm sorry. I can't hear you." _I'm deaf._ My hand shook slightly with the last sign.

And then he stepped forward again. I stepped backward, and collided with something. I took my eyes off him for a fraction of a second, to verify that I had backed into my truck, and he was suddenly in front of me. I froze, unmoving, trying not to breathe. He did though. He took in a long, slow breath, inching his nose close to my hair. I closed my eyes. If I was to die, at least I could pretend it was Edward who had finally given in. Edward who had me pinned against my truck. Edward, who had chosen to not fight with his primal side any more.

And then I was flying.

He had grabbed me by my waist and begun running. The whooshing feeling I had thought I'd experienced when Edward so gently carried me, or even when I was being driven in places was nothing – NOTHING – compared to the forces I was feeling now. It was dizzying. I felt my stomach lurch and clamped my mouth shut. I closed my eyes too, trying not to feel. I focused instead on the harsh grip around me. His forearm was digging painfully into my ribs. That was a pain I could focus on. My legs would have been dangling behind him, but we were moving so fast that they were literally swaying in the wind.

I had no idea how long we ran, but suddenly I was being dropped into a clearing. I felt my wrist shatter as I collapsed ungracefully onto the freezing ground. We'd made our way up into the mountains apparently. I took a moment to vomit, ungracefully, onto the ground beside me, and then searched for my kidnapper. He was crouched on a rock staring at me. My eyes were watering from the pain in my ribs and in my wrist, but I kept a terrified staring contest up with him.

"You were in the Cullen house." He said, very clearly, towards me. I didn't respond. If I opened my mouth I might vomit again. I was desperately trying to maintain focus. I had to read his lips.

"He smelled like you. They all did, but he - up when I - on your smell."

I sat, now blinking away tears and trying to keep focused. I would be silent. As far as he knew I couldn't hear him. He was malevolently discoursing with the air.

"I haven't seen a pet this loved since the twenties." _Pet?_ _Pen? Pan? Bet?_ I'd definitely heard that wrong.

"And to think. Extra vulnerable. Weaker than most, unable to hear. And yet you… smell … so… -." He had dragged the last few words out, but the last word was either cool or good. I couldn't hear, and I could barely focus. It didn't help that he was barely moving his lips. I continued staring at him, specifically at his mouth. It twisted into a smile and suddenly he leapt towards me.

He again tucked me tightly under his arm again and began running. There was no use fighting – I'd seen how strong he was. All I could try and do was stay alive until Edward – and Alice – found me. On this particular journey I was even less lucky than the first. My captor decided to jump between massive boulders mid-journey. My ribs felt as though a hammer was being forced against them every time we landed, and my leg scraped against something that ripped through my jeans. I remembered seeing the ground lurch towards me again and I closed my eyes.

I must have blacked out, because the next thing I knew I could hear voices. I hoped reverently that it was someone I knew, but the angry tones sounded unfamiliar. It sounded female, and then male. I managed to force one of my heavily weighted eyelids open. I was lying with my broken wrist twisted beneath me, in a pile of snow. I could see through very blurry – and probably concussed – eyes, a flash of vibrant red, and then gold again. Was it those eyes? The eyes that were red that should have been gold. No it danced. Danced like fire. It was hair, shining in the eerie white light of the snow.

The snow was nice. I wasn't sure how much time had passed before I had passed out again... but the next thing I recalled was water. My eyes shot open as I panicked. I was drowning! All I could see was darkness around me. I coughed into the icy wet and felt myself hit the ground again. Wherever we were it was pitch black. I was unsure if I'd just been dragged through a waterfall, or if wherever we were it had started pouring outside.

Breathing hurt. I wasn't sure if there was water in my lungs, or just the damaged ribs, but it hurt a lot. I should be trying to escape, or leave evidence of something probably, but Edward wouldn't fault me if I just lay here would he? I couldn't see anything. And so many things hurt. I could taste copper in my mouth and I hoped really hard that I'd bit my tongue or something. I did not want to be bleeding into or out of anywhere if I could help it.

I closed my eyes one last time.

And suddenly it was bright as if a floodlight were shining in my face again. My head screamed with the intrusion of light, but I kept my eyes open. They were my only windows to the world. I had awoken to a pair of red eyes in a menacingly calm face, standing above me, looking right at me. His head got larger - he had crouched down - and it had filled the sky.

"I want this to hurt."

I wasn't sure I wanted to – but I had heard every word. I supposed it was quiet enough, or my brain was making new connections maybe, or perhaps I had injured my head so far that I was now imagining speech. Wasn't I in enough pain? I couldn't imagine more than the searing scrape on my leg which I didn't want to look at. More than the wrist which I had refused to glimpse at too, but knew from experience that it would be purple and swollen. More than the tiny army in cleats which had taken to jumping on my brain. How could I possibly get more hurt?

And then he reached down, to my arm, and pulled it.

If you've never dislocated a shoulder before, consider yourself pretty darn blessed. I don't remember screaming, but when I regained consciousness again my throat felt as though I'd been yelling for hours. I couldn't feel my arm at all, and I was hoping it was still attached. I still could see only bright white around me, and I was starting to wonder if I had gone blind. IT was hard to keep my eyes open. I would have loved to have had some hearing at that point. All I could get was a muffled roar. Whether that was location or concussion, again I was unsure. I was trying not to breathe. Breathing hurt a lot.

And again, I was out for the count.


	56. Chapter 56 - Edward

I had run to the clearing counting down the seconds to the time when I could phone her. I had said seven o'clock. Forty two seconds until I could call her. I was doing laps of the clearing we used for our games, partially to keep myself occupied, and partially to clear out the animals. At five seconds to 7 I dialed her number. It should take about that much time to reach her phone. When she answered the video chat her hair looked freshly wet, her face shining with excitement. I would have given anything to have her here with me. I currently had the phone muted, as the wind would create a meaningless static that would surely confuse her. As soon as her face lit with recognition, I signed a greeting. She signed back, although I would have been able to hear her.

I re-entered the clearing closest to our version of home-plate. I un-muted the phone and slowly rotated it carefully around the clearing to display my family preparing for our game. Jasper and Emmett were laughing at a joke that I had missed. I was too focused on re-living today. The meet and greet day had been so successful. Esme had very nearly exploded with happiness every time I smiled at something Bella had said, or done. Jasper had flooded me with the positivity everyone had felt. It was such a high that I wasn't sure anything could possibly be better. When Bella had denied coming with us, I had grasped onto the first thing I could to keep that high going – more Bella. And now here I was, showing her one of the more unnatural aspects of my existence. When the phone view coursed across Rosalie, she made sure to scowl meaningfully at me, and drop the bat she'd been flicking dirt off of, into the mud again.

 _You could be helping us instead of showing HER around. She's not even here it's ridiculous._

I continued turning the phone back to myself. I could see Bella looking confused and enthralled. She was biting at her lip, unconsciously, while she thought about what she was seeing.

"So you just run around and let loose?" she asked quietly.

"Exactly." I almost yelled back. "The bases are marked out to the very edge of the clearing, and the outfield stretches into the forest."

 _Is he going to do that all game? God that'll get old fast._ Rosalie.

 _That's so cute. Look how happy he is._ Alice.

 _You could show her the tree you broke last time._ Emmett.

The others had their thoughts to themselves, either purposefully or not. Jasper was plotting game strategies, as he was the second most competitive here, and Carlisle was simply marvelling over how lucky he had been that the lord had chosen to bless him with such a family.

Bella began laughing, and the screen on her end shook slightly. "How loud are you yelling right now?"

"Quite. The only thing louder is Rosalie's eye rolling." I responded. Rosalie kicked the bat she had dropped at me, and I back-flipped rather flamboyantly to escape the collision.

 _You're up to bat. Ass._ Rosalie thought voraciously at me. I looked over to my mother who had taken up her traditional umpire pose. From there she could undoubtedly see everything, and she wouldn't mind holding the phone for me while I played.

"Do you mind if I pass you to Esme? I'm up to bat first." I asked Bella, and Esme, at the same time. Esme smiled, reaching her hand forward, and Bella shook her head scathingly. She, of course, didn't want to get in the way. I retrieved the bat Rose had flung at me, and walked to home.

"Of course." She muttered, probably a little sharply for her own liking. Esme took the phone, smiling at Bella before turning it back to home plate. Alice threw the ball, focusing very intently on how much she enjoyed parts of Jasper that I'd prefer to never see. As it came towards me though, I could tell it had a wicked spin. I wound up and hit the ball, running for dear life, as I sent it into the outfield. I heard it collide with the ground, as I made my way past second, and then Jasper was chasing me in giant leaps. We skidded into home, and I felt my foot slide over the fresh mound of home a quarter of a second before Jasper collided into me with the ball.

It took us a moment to disentangle ourselves, and we both looked over at Esme.

"Safe." She smiled. Jasper grabbed the ball and threw it back to Alice, and I informed Bella – who was looking thoroughly flabbergasted at what had just transpired.

 _I won that. Esme called the play in my favour._

Esme switched the phone camera to herself to explain. She and Carlisle seemed to be the most enthusiastic about this whole ordeal. Alice was unreservedly happy, but we had managed to concoct some interesting arguments about Bella's future with our family. My strongest attitude towards it was to see how things turned out, rather than go rushing into anything. Alice said that she saw – without a doubt – Bella permanently joining our family. Cold, harsh, and lifeless as we were. I shuddered thinking about it. For now, I would focus on the present. Bella, warm, laughing, and shy, because my mother was including her in the running commentary of the game. I managed to fix a smile back onto my face as the phone swung around again. I played jovially, trying to relax and get competitive with the rest of my family. I did have an audience after all. After three innings I saw a flicker of light on the phone being held up so sturdily by Esme.

"Um, I'm not sure if you can hear me…" a quiet voice peeped from the screen. I could hear it clearly through Esme's ears. "But Charlie's home, and I have to go."

I made to move off of the plate and three sets of mental voices yelled the equivalent of 'don't you dare'.

"Goodnight Bella. I'll see you soon." I said quietly, knowing she would never hear me. Esme passed on the message perfectly, and after some brief niceties the phone was stashed away.

"Finally. Maybe now Edward will _actually_ play." Jasper jeered – kindly – before Rosalie could make a snider comment. I raised an eyebrow at him and re-focused myself. Fine. If he wanted me to try, I'd try.

Emmett's next hit send a ringing crack through the trees and I dashed towards third and then home, running fast enough that I felt my shoe split beneath my foot. I made it to home with enough time to spare to grab Esme up in a thankful hug before the ball made its way back to me. Jasper flipped me an appreciative finger and we lined up for the next pitch. I looked over at Alice, saw her stretch, and then pause.

 _Three vampires, all nomads, were walking into our baseball clearing. One of them was tall, commanding, in the center, he had black waist length hair that had matted into dreadlocks. One was blond, shorter, and with a darker presence, his eyes the wildest. The female that strode forward on their left was red haired, confident, and calculating. My family had lined up to greet them, not in a menacing fashion, but in a clear play of power. We had the upper hand after all._

Alice and I looked at each other for a brief moment, before her tinkling voice rang out; "We're about to have visitors."

Everyone else looked at her in surprise.

"The individuals we've been tracking through the area?" Carlisle asked. Jasper nodded before Alice had a chance to – it made sense to him. He was correct. These were the individuals that we'd briefly discussed earlier today. That meeting had been one of good news – they were passing through, and wouldn't stop.

"Yes, the same three." I said aloud.

Alice flicked through a snippet of an inevitable conversation about what drew them to us. I watched with concern.

"They heard us playing. They were leaving, but they decided to meet us instead." She turned abruptly to look at the far edge of the clearing. I looked around briefly, realising we were in exactly the configuration that Alice had seen.

I opened my mind, trying to tune out the buzzing thoughts of my family, perusing for the thoughts of the newcomers, and trying to keep my mind off of Bella.


	57. Chapter 57 - Edward

**Received a lot of disappointed and excited reviews regarding my last update not being Bella's, so I pushed myself to continue as quickly as I could! Happy reading!**

"Good evening." The center nomad began.

"Good evening," replied Carlisle. "If you don't mind my asking, how did you stumble upon us?"

"My coven members heard you playing. It is quite a different set of sounds than the storm, after all."

I detected the smallest mental recoil from both the blond and the redhead when the center nomad had said 'my coven'. Either they didn't appreciate being branded in such a way, or the arrangement in which the center individual had spoken to them was unnatural. He might not be their leader.

 _I don't think he's their leader Edward._ Jasper chimed in, noting the same discomfort I had, only through feeling rather than mind. _I'd go with the blond. He's resonating confidence and dominance, but portraying submission. I'm not sure if they're staging this, or if the center one legitimately believes he's their leader, but he's wrong._

I straightened my jacket in an absent minded fashion to let Jasper know that I'd noted what he transferred to me.

"My name is Laurent. These are James, and Victoria." Laurent smiled. From what I was detecting he was genuinely curious about meeting such a large coven.

 _Such strange eyes, and so many!_

"I am Carlisle, leader of this family. Rosalie, and Emmett, Edward, Alice and Jasper, and this is my wife, Esme." He had pointed us out partially in pairs, and tried to deflect attention from how menacing Jasper looked, with the comment about his _wife_ rather than _mate_. Jasper was always a point of wary unease with our kind. He was after all covered in bite marks. I honestly kept forgetting about it, until we met new people. Then I realised that the short cuffs of his baseball sleeves, and the open throat and face showed at least eleven distinct bite scars. When Jasper had originally met us, he had donned long sleeves, winter gloves, and a turtle necked sweater, to try and ease the passage into our household. These guests were receiving no such luxury. And Emmett wasn't helping with his flexing and causal neck rolling.

Jasper rolled out some very subtle calming influences and Laurent offered up another question.

"Do you mind if we join you? A friendly game? It may be a good ice breaker, as they say." _We all need to relax a little, and we could get the judge of their characters in a more informal setting_.

"Of course! We haven't been able to play equal teams for a while. Edward, Alice, would you mind joining our guests on the opposing side?" _Play nice, be wary, don't throw the game by any means, but don't play your hardest._ Carlisle said, patting my shoulder.

"No problem." Alice chirped, giving Jasper's hand a squeeze before she danced closer to the opposite team. She and I were the most likely to see anything coming, the most 'well defended' with regards to surprises.

We split into equal teams, and began playing. I honestly couldn't tell you how the match was really going. I spent most of my time trying to delve into their silent and wary minds. As the first inning progressed, and they tapped Esme out, the newcomers began to focus less on the potential for imminent attack and more on the game. As they relaxed, Jasper and I relaxed, enabling the rest of my family to feel more competitive and at ease.

When we were done all nine innings, and the 'away' team had won – how could we not with Alice and I? – we all began to walk back to home plate. Rosalie was nervous enough still that she didn't even complain about the pairing of Alice and I on a team, as we were usually separated for good reason. I retrieved my phone from Esme, something I hadn't yet done, and briefly checked it. There were no messages. Perhaps she had fallen asleep. I doubted very much I would be seeing Bella tonight. I thought about sending her a text as we ran home, but a light mental voice chimed at me.

 _I'm sorry Edward – she's dropped her phone. It's smashed for the time being. You'd be better off calling the house, and I wouldn't do that until after this lot are gone._ Alice sighed at me.

"Would you care to continue this meeting inside? We hold a permanent residence nearby, and we'd like a chance to explain, and talk, out of the incoming rain." Carlisle smiled, indicating the direction we were all about to run in. The new coven agreed, and we were off.

 _Permanent residence? A coven this size?_

 _How far does their territory range? We had no idea that a territory that large could be claimed._

 _Their eyes are unnatural. Disturbing._

My family's thoughts were no more trusting. We were all a little more irritated than we would usually be. We had no qualms meeting new friends, usually, but this had been an already trying month for all of us, and we wanted to be off of the radar at least until things had settled. Even our distant family in Denali had no idea that I was dating, _DATING,_ a human. We were trying to get into a flow again, one that I had so casually disrupted. The good news about my little escapades were that my family was freshly fed, and stronger because of it. The newcomers had fed recently, judging by their eyes, and the murder/disappearance spree we had tracked, but not in the last few days.

As soon as we got back to the house I bristled. Bella's scent was clinging to the house like wet to water. Ironically enough, if Esme had not just cleaned everything, and if today had been filled with rain instead of sun, it might not have been noticeable. I tried to reassure myself that the others would not notice, that I was so attuned to the smell, and so drawn to it, that I was hypersensitive. But then Emmett, of all people, spoke up.

"Ugh. You can still smell that delivery guy from earlier. We'll have to clean the house again." _See what I did there? BAM. Bet you thought I wasn't smart enough for that._

I could have hugged him with relief. It gave us a solid alibi for the scent. The coven shouldn't look into the smell any further, not with this many of us in the house. Alice and Jasper walked through the entryway and sat abruptly on the stairs, barring any entrance. They looked casual, but the intent was clear. They weren't to track a scent through our house. Rosalie, tactfully, in my opinion, took a place on the piano bench, fingering a few keys from a composition I usually played on her birthday. It would prevent them from examining the piano, or bench too closely.

 _I'm only doing this because I don't want to put up with you moping._ She informed me, and looked once again at our guests.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable." Esme offered, pointing around the living room to the various couches. She guided Emmett to the place Bella had been curled up in earlier, to again, try and mask the scent.

I was on edge, and stood closest to the door, while pretending to hang up my jacket. I leaned against the wall, and watched.

"How is it that you have come to own such a residence?" Victoria asked, her eyes looking over the place with both disdain and envy. She disapproved of settling down, but also wished for a stable place she could bathe, change clothing, a bed she could make love in. I skipped out of her head, focusing on the next one.

Laurent seemed to be oblivious to the scent, accepting the wash away story Emmett had thrown out. He was enthralled by the premise of a stable, rich, luxury filled life. And he would listen to how he could possibly achieve that.

 _The house smells of someone. Someone tantalising. Delicious. They seem at ease around the smell. Curious. My throat is alight, as theirs must be, so why do they not appear to care? The large one just sat in a pooling of the scent. What had he said? Delivery guy? Unless the delivery required a break on the couch, I find that highly unlikely._ These thoughts I would keep focused on, without blowing my temper. That was my mate he was so casually tasting on the air. Jasper sent a cooling wave towards me and I settled against the wall in a more determined way.

Carlisle began his story. He skipped over vast amounts of details, merely focusing on the important aspects, such as dietary changes, and semi-nomadic, relatively permanent housing arrangements. He also made a point to note how their presence had made us extra alert, that we would be lying low for a while because of their hunting in such a sparsely populated area.

"We are sorry to have inconvenienced you in such a fashion. My coven will not hunt again on your territory." Laurent said. Both Victoria and James snarled mentally, while glancing at each other. That was a promise that they would not uphold. Laurent was definitely not in charge. By the dynamic that Jasper had sensed, and the way that Victoria oriented herself, James was definitely in charge. And unfortunately, he was unlikely to fulfill that bargain.

We talked long into the next day. Our own stories, their travels, people we'd both met. We informed them of the other clan in Alaska that we had met who had come by this way of feeding of their own accord, and how there were likely to be others. We talked about eye colour changes, and temperament changes, that allowed more of us to live together because of the lack of territoriality.

"It enables us to be more civilised, at great personal cost." Carlisle explained. "To many, this is not an equal sacrifice. To our family, it is."

"It is intruiging." Laurent said. "I would also be interested to meet the other coven in the North. See how it is that they came around to this – uh – lifestyle." _Perhaps find a mate of my own. Three unmated women in one place_ …

"They'd be happy to host you. It's also a larger hunting territory than we hold here. All of the artic to run around in after all." Esme said, kindly.

"We thank you for your hospitality." James said. "Perhaps we will head north now."

"If you head north directly from here, you will have to swim across the border to Canada. After that, there aren't too many places that require a lengthy dip." Carlisle offered.

"That doesn't disturb us." Victoria said.

Laurent seemed disappointed that they would be leaving so soon. I could not wait to get them off of my hands. The three of them made their way out of the door again. James taking in the scent once more. My stomach writhed in unease. I looked at Alice.

 _They're heading north. I see them skirting Port Angeles, and making the border crossing. I see them arguing about it too._ Alice filled in.

We watched as they took off in a northern direction. North was away from Forks, away from Bella. I started to relax as I waited and watched them go. I listened to their mental mutterings for about a mile, before I lost them. They were indeed heading north. I watched in Alice's brain as the general path they took shifted and changed, but their destination was firmly set.

Esme thanked Jasper for keeping all of our heads cool and calm. "That blond one seemed more primal, more prone to agitation. I'm assuming you are to thank for keeping us all calm?" she asked, as she tousled his hair affectionately. Jasper frowned at the hair tousle, and smiled at his mother-figure.

"It wasn't overly hard. I was already generating calm to keep Edward from flying off the handle. Whenever someone caught a glimpse of Bella's scent he was ready to kill."

They looked over at me. I rested my head gently against the wall. I should probably apologize, but was it anything less than what they would have done for their loved ones? It was my turn to thank my family.

"I owe you all a lot. Thank you for covering her scent." I spoke aloud. "For the most part, they accepted. Laurent and Victoria were too distracted by everything else to care much. James cared about it, as she has such a – unique – scent, but because Alice sees them running north now, Bella is out of danger. Thank you."

The rest of my family relaxed and I ran my hand through my hair.

"She's at home?" I clarified with Alice as I unlocked the door.

"Ummm…" she browsed through Bella's decisions. "I don't know. She's driving, but I can't see why. I saw Charlie ask for a ride this morning, so probably into, or out from La Push. That'll put her East of Forks…." She frowned and looked harder. "Uh, she seems set on talking to you again, but not actually coming here. I think she's going to get a new phone."

My stomach dropped. The closest, and most fully stocked electronics store around was in Port Angeles. I looked at Alice as she came to the same realisation. "I should have seen her decide to go to Port Angeles though. I didn't see that. She can't be going yet. She's probably going home." But even as she said the words, she had another vision.

In that vision I saw a bright red pickup truck, idling empty on the side of the road.


	58. Chapter 58 - Edward

**BAM! 3 Chapters in as many days! I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that.**

I had never run faster in my life. It was now my only goal to follow the nomad's scent - but I was no tracker. They would soon be crossing paths with Bella on a road to the north, so I headed in that direction. While I sat in my house _thanking_ people for keeping her safe, she had driven straight into a danger we had sent her way. Alice was not on my good side right now. She had been casually watching Bella's decisions, but very focused on our visitors. She had missed Bella's decision to go this morning into Port Angeles to fix her damn phone, and we had just sent the new coven in exactly that direction. The odds of their paths crossing were small, but James had been so fixated on our dismissal of the scent, so fixated on the sweet and intoxicating bouquet that Bella emitted, that he had committed it to memory. He had planned to return later, to find that scent. But apparently, he had just enough fortune to run straight into it.

I ran up the side of the highway, listening for their thoughts, or Bella's truck. I could her the worry of my family behind me, running, planning, hoping. I could hear Alice focused on something, and saw only Laurent, and Victoria running through trees. Where was James?

Suddenly I could hear it. The roar of Bella's truck was audible over all of the noises of the forest. I darted forward, stopping in the trees behind it. She was not there. And it did not smell like blood. She was alive then, whole, unbitten, and undrained, at least for now.

I caught a distant argument being replayed in thought to the West, and a general sense of pain. I headed towards it, knowing my family could not possibly catch up to me, but would try. Emmett would be a close second, because he could physically bound further, but not close enough if I got into a dispute.

I arrived at a tree where Laurent lay, cursing at the sky. His torso had been ripped from his legs, and he was working on reattaching the two. I slowed for a moment, placing my foot on his leg to stop him from pulling them back towards himself. He scowled up at me.

"What happened?" I asked bitterly.

"This happened." He said.

"With James and Victoria." I specified angrily, pressing my foot into the severed section of his torso. It cracked under my weight.

"James caught the scent of the human who'd been in your house earlier. They began hunting. I tried to stop them, but…" he looked down at himself and cursed again. He would be fine. We healed very well from incidences like that.

"Direction?"

"I was busy being ripped apart," he scoffed, but I caught a glimpse of red hair in his memory, heading further west. I took off again, following the direction Laurent had unintentionally indicated. Alice was suddenly running beside me.

 _I saw the conversation, and changed course. Jasp-_ before she had finished her thought Jasper appeared beside her.

"Where are they going?" I asked, refraining from adding the insults that I had wanted to, searching for the female's scent. Jasper picked it up almost instantly.

 _I smell her, but not him, or Bella._ He thought. _They've undoubtedly split up._

In Alice's head _I saw trees blurring by, as James haphazardly leaped with Bella tucked under his arm like a piece of luggage. He dropped her in a clearing and I heard the sickening crunch of bones breaking. Bella rolled away from the pain, and vomited beside her. Speckles of frost clung to her hair._

"East." We both said, and began running. Into the mountains, where the frost clung to the ground.

"Rosalie and Esme will deal with her pickup. I'm not sure what story they'll go with, but for right now they've turned it off, and are hiding it in the forest. Later we'll probably stage something when Bella gets out of this." Alice yelled conversationally as we ran. I was keeping pace with her now, as I needed her foresight to stop my misdirections. Time was essential now. Her optimism was grand, but not helpful. Optimism did nothing. She jumped onto Jasper's back and he kept up with me as best he could. The Alice backpack he now donned was not what slowed him down. I was just that fast. Alice needed to focus on seeing rather than running, and she trusted Jasper to keep me within mental hearing distance of what she could see.

 _"You were in the Cullen house. He smelled like you. They all did. But he got all worked up when I noticed and focused on your smell. I haven't seen a pet this loved since the twenties. She was even there." He had switched to whispering. "A pet so loved by a creator that he refused to change her or let her out of the mental institution he worked in. I stole her away, changed her, and killed him. Best fun I've had in almost a century. But now….." He looked back at Bella, who's eyes were fuzzy with pain and confusion. "And to think, extra vulnerable, weaker than most. Unable to hear."_ _He whispered again. "So heavily defended. And you smell so good." He smiled at her and leaped._

I nearly ran into a tree I was so distracted by the sight of such a predatory leap. I pulled out of Alice's mind and kept running. Bella's scent was stronger here, but still at least twenty minutes old.

Within ten minutes I had reached the clearing we had seen. They were gone again, but freshly so. Bella's scent was now permeated with stomach acid, and I didn't need to wait for Alice to follow it. When Alice caught up to me again I could see Bella in her head.

 _She was lying sideways in the snow._ I angled my run towards the snow-peaked caps. _Victoria had met up with James in the snow._

 _"Why did you start another game? Do you realise how strong this coven is?" she demanded of James._

 _"Don't you understand? It's the same game. Mary, or Alice, or whatever she goes by now. It's the same game. Full circle. She was his pet, and I destroyed him and saved her. Now it's time for me to destroy her pet. The entire coven trying to protect one little, deaf, human. It's enthralling. Excitement we haven't had in over 80 years, Victoria. My best game, ever." Bella was breathing heavily, and it attracted the attention of the others._

 _"We need to move now. They're on your tail."_

 _"Oh I know."_

To Alice's credit, her surprise of his knowledge of her past – an asylum had he mentioned before, and another name to search under – was kept in check by her focus on Bella. She was earning back points from me that was for sure. She was already guilt ridden at missing the critical decision of Bella's morning.

As we ran I began to smell something more distressing and attractive than anything I had ever smelled. Blood. Speckles of it, scattered on sharp rocks, splattered on the ground in random arrays. Two halves of me lit in a combined fire. Mine. My mate, my blood, my Bella. Injured.

"ALICE!" I yelled. She would undoubtedly smell it too.

"I can't see it. He didn't plan it, and in the future she's lying on whatever is injured. I think it's her leg." She cried as Jasper fought down his own instincts to hunt.

 _Hold your breath Jazz._ Alice whispered and thought. Jasper re-focused on the goal, he would find the threat first.

We came across the snow that was stained bright red. It didn't look like a lot of blood, but it was still there. Still a complication. Something to distract. Something to track. I rounded the snow, following the scents of the blood. I was so attuned to her scent that I didn't need Jasper either at this point. Again I took off running, closer to my full speed. My family would follow.

 _James, Bella tucked like a sickening ragdoll under his arm, jumped into the shallow bed of a river, and through a waterfall, to take rest in a cave. He had no end goal, just the chase. See how long the little girl could survive while her guardians scrambled to catch her. The game would not be won until they did, or until she died._

It took me a moment to realise that the vision I had been having of Alice's had merged into my detection of James' actual thoughts. I was close. Close enough to catch him in time. But to ensure Bella's safety, I needed to make sure he couldn't crush her as I sprang. I needed to wait for him to drop her again. He didn't know how fast I was, he couldn't imagine I could hear him plotting. I slowed as I reached hearing distance of the river and waited for my siblings. To their credit – they had run as hard as they could. No clothing had been spared as they ran – if it was faster to go through the tree, they had. Normally we weaved around such trifles to save clothing, but today was not that day. My family's clothing was equally as torn as mine. Emmett and Carlisle were entering my mental range – they weren't far behind Alice and Jasper. They hadn't had to pause and watch Alice's visions, they had just followed our scents without hesitation. I was watching him in Alice's head about thirty seconds before I could see his thoughts in my own head. We were at the moment, the breaking point where we could attack.

 _He was on the move again, running with Bella, towards a nearby escarpment. He stooped, dropping her limp body on the edge of a steep cliff._

 _Bella had regained consciousness again, she was now staring up at him. He crouched over her –_ don't push her, I begged mentally – _and said very clearly: "I want this to hurt."_

 _He reached down to her shoulder, and her arm. He began lifting the arm, as if to roll her over the cliff and pulled sharply. He dropped the arm and stood again._

I flinched, and held myself still as Alice and Jasper closed in. Bella broke my resolve however, her scream of agony pierced the forest, and I leapt forward to close the short remaining distance between James and myself, without waiting for my siblings. However dangerous this was I could not leave her in the hands of him. Better to be ripped apart than have him hurt her again.

James whipped around with a manic glee on his face, ready for attack, as I jumped nimbly toward him, attacking with obvious unsubtlety. He braced himself for an upward based attack and I felt Alice's fury as she hurled in at his stomach. Jasper had thrown her like a javelin. While James was bracing himself from my sky-based attack, Alice had appeared out of the trees, horizontally like a bullet, crashing into his hips. They shot over the cliff in a thunderous crash that echoed through my chest. Mid leap I caught the edge of the cliff and righted myself protectively over Bella. Jasper pounced towards me, and all of my instincts buzzed. He was here for my prey, for my blood. I snarled with ferocity as he flew, until I realised that his eyes and thoughts were purely those of hate and victory, rather than bloodlust. _His_ mate was in danger now.

Jasper's jump took him solidly over the cliff, to ensure that his Alice, who was currently fighting a skilled individual much larger than herself, would be safe. She was fast, seeing James' approaches before he made them and she was an expert at avoidance, but she was less skilled at attack. That would be where Jasper would finish him.

I closed my eyes and halted my breathing as I listened. I took in everything in a matter of seconds. Emmett was no longer with Carlisle, but Carlisle was approximately thirty seconds away. I could not hear Emmett at all, so he had dropped back out of my mental radar somewhere. Rosalie and Esme were not in my mental range either. Alice was flickering through a strobe light of visions to keep herself moving and away from harm as Jasper whipped lethargy and fear at James, taking advantage of his confused and sluggish state to rip off his arm. The three of them were dancing their battle at the base of the escarpment, and if I wasn't so anxious about protecting Bella I would have undoubtedly joined them. As of right now, I would leave my family to deal with him, while I dealt with Bella.

Bella.

I opened my eyes to survey the damage. She had a gentle trickle of blood staining her lips, and scraped up the side of her thigh – the one she normally rubbed when she was thinking. Her left wrist was purple and swollen, and her right arm looked sickly. I tore a seam into her jacket to expose the flesh of her arm and shoulder. There was a sharp spike where her clavicle met empty skin, instead of supporting muscle, and a purple bruise blossoming with a lump on the inside of her arm. She was breathing, but harshly.

Carlisle swept down onto our position, sparing only a glimpse for the battle waging below.

 _Are you going to help them while I tend her?_

I snarled in response.

 _I thought not._


	59. Chapter 59

When I woke up I was worried for a few seconds that I was dead. I could see only bright white light, and the soft musical murmuring of angelic voices. When I took my first inhale of breath and felt the sharp stab of pain, I knew that I was definitely alive. The pain helped to bring my mind back into sharp relief. I blinked a few times at the brightness above me, and shapes began to form themselves. An awful, slightly greyed, rectangular fluorescent light was almost directly above me. There was also a small brown water stain in the plaster ceiling tiles above me. Institution like. By the pain in my chest, I'd say probably a hospital. I tried breathing again and the pain sharpened my senses a second time. Stainless steel. Disinfectant. Hospital.

I lifted my head a little, to gain my bearings, and I had to rest it back down immediately. My tiny cleat-donning army was trampling around on my brain.

A dark pair of eyes appeared over my face. I blinked in surprise and focused on them. Charlie's worried face was drawn, looking more tired than usual, harried and even frantic. Oops. What had happened? I thought back to what I could remember. A baseball game. Jacob. Driving to... Port Angeles for my phone…

"I broke my phone." I stated sadly. Charlie's face lit up with humour and relief.

"You broke a lot of things Bella."

Suddenly I remembered the reason I hurt. Dizzying speeds, leaping haphazardly through the forests, into the mountains. Fiery red hair, golden hair, red eyes, black eyes, blackness, brightness. I had so many confusing memories, and they didn't seem to blend together very clearly.

"Oh good." I closed my eyes again. It was a few moments before a cold hand touched my face and I flinched, opening my eyes.

This time it was a pair of calm golden eyes. Carlisle smiled down at me.

"Good evening Bella. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I said, smiling nervously. "How are you?"

He raised an eyebrow gently, as he smiled, and prodded gently up and down my ribs. "We were all worried about you Bella. Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes." I said quietly, looking around. The room was empty, aside from us. I had a private suite. Yikes. I guess it helped if you were sort of related to the head doctor. "I think I remember most of it. I'm not really sure about a lot of it…"

"His name was James. He detected your scent at our house, and found it an irresistible draw." Carlisle began to explain.

"He didn't track me to Angela's? Or Jacob's?" I interrupted worried. How many people had he hurt trying to find me?

"No one else was injured Bella." Carlisle assured me, his lips still moving slowly and clearly. He was talking with enough force that I was being bombarded with a heavenly scent from his breath. I tried not to think about that, and focus on what had happened.

"Where is Edward?" I asked.

"He is with your father, fetching you food. Alice saw you waking, and suggested that Edward fetch you something. He's halfway down the hallway now, talking amicably with your father."

I looked down at myself. I had a sling on one arm, and a cast wrapped around my other hand. My writing and signing days would be done for a while. He'd taken away a means of communication for me. Half of me wondered if that had been an intentional act on his behalf. Playing with his food, so to say.

"Can you help me sit up a little please?" I asked. I did not want to look weak if I could help it. I supposed my hair was a mess, and I didn't want to think about how pasty I usually looked under hospital lights. Carlisle nodded, and helped prop me up with an extra pillow. It was a painful process but I breathed through it. Carlisle wasn't fooled. At that point, Edward, and Charlie came through the door. Carlisle stared at Edward for a long, meaningful amount of time, undoubtedly transferring him my diagnoses mentally. After a brief silence I looked at Charlie.

"Wow Dad, being nice to the boyfriend? I must have really scared you."

Charlie shuffled uncomfortably, looking determinedly at Carlisle.

"What's the - doc?" I had missed a word, but this conversation was one I was not so interested in. I was alive, I would be fine. I focused on my saviour, the beautiful and terrifying angel that had descended over me in a fierce rage.

Edward looked sad, thoughtful, and relieved. I smiled at him.

"Hi." I whispered. My fingers twitched in their cages. What I wouldn't give to have a silent, private conversation here. Edward looked over to Carlisle and Charlie, and suddenly the two were leaving the room.

 _Better?_ He asked.

"Much." I whispered. "How did you do that?"

"Carlisle is no fool, and Charlie didn't feel like seeing us kiss." Edward smiled at me. There was still something there in his eyes. Something dark that looked an awful lot as though Edward felt this was his fault.

"Sooooo…. What exactly happened according to everyone else?"

"You hit a wolf in your truck. You probably thought it was a dog, and followed it into the woods. There happened to be an excellent escarpment nearby." Edward said, nonchalantly, watching my reaction carefully.

"You killed a wolf for my cover story?" I asked, slightly disturbed. Edward rolled his eyes.

 _We'll get to that_. He signed.

"Do we have time?" I asked, looking furtively at the door – would Charlie come back in?

"Carlisle knows how to occupy Charlie. He's got diversionary tactics like paperwork, and your mother is flying into town to see you."

I cringed at that. My mother would be undoubtedly frantic. I'd spend hours reassuring her I was fine. I watched a flicker of amusement cross Edward's face.

"Most people would be happy to see their mother."

"I am happy to see her. I'm not looking forward to the whole caring thing. I'm sick of being taken care of like I'm breakable and disabled."

"You _are_ breakable, and you _are_ currently disabled." He pointed out, emphasising his speech with signs.

I sighed forcefully and winced slightly. "Just tell me everything you know."

Edward settled down on my bed, barely ruffling sheets as he sat. He rested a cool hand on my cheek for a moment, and then began speaking, and signing.

"Our visitors showed up shortly after my phone call with you. We managed to talk all night, but bringing them back to our house was a mistake. Their leader, James, caught your scent and was entranced by it. Alice somehow missed your decision to head to Port Angeles. I thought you were safe in Forks. We sent them north after we were done with them."

"And they ran into me." I stated. I only remembered one, at best two. How many had there been? I decided I didn't want to know. I was safe and they were dealt with. The Cullen family had been victorious.

"We were no more than a half an hour behind you by the time he had you. He led us on a crazed chase, through mountains, into a cave…." Edward trailed off again. His eyes darkened and he smirked. "He kept severely underestimating the abilities of my family. Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and I, tailed you and James. Jasper is by far the best tracker I know, Alice was invaluable with enabling us to cut corners in the chase, and as soon as he was within my mental range I could hone in on him. Emmett was originally with us, but split off earlier to follow the female when she took a different route. He lost her in the ocean. Rosalie and Esme stopped to hide your truck, and followed Emmett's scent when they were finished."

"And when you caught up to me?" I asked.

"It was moments after he dislocated your shoulder." Edward sank his head into his hands and I worried he'd keep speaking and I wouldn't catch it. He pulled his head up quickly though. "I thought he was going to roll you off of the cliff."

"How did you stop him?"

"I went for the obvious kill. I'd like to pretend I was intending on it, but I was so desperate to get to you that I don't think I particularly thought it through. Alice and Jasper were one step ahead of me. Jasper…" Edward paused, searching for words. " _Launched_ Alice." He fingerspelled to make sure I caught the word.

"He threw her at him?" I smiled. It seemed a funny picture.

"She darted in, straight as an arrow. Knocked the two of them flat off of the cliff."

"Is she alright?" I sat up, straighter, concerned, and pain flared in my ribs. Edward stood, easing me back down slightly.

"She's fine Bella. She kept out of his reach for the few seconds it took Jasper to jump over with them. They both took him out. Burned the body. He's gone. Carlisle caught up, and we tended to you. He rolled your shoulder back into place, bound your leg, set your wrist. I carried you back straight to the house, where we got into Carlisle's car. We drove you to the hospital under the premise of having found you and your truck at the side of the road."

"And I can guess the rest. Stitches, casts, x-rays… the usual." I sighed. It sounded like a surreal tale. Too much panic, and too much fear involved. "I'm so sorry your family had to –"

"No, Bella. They're your family too now. Any one of them would take the same course, go through the same effort to help you again."

"I'm sorry." Tears were welling up in my eyes.

"Are you in pain?" He asked, worriedly. I was, but that wasn't the issue.

"I'm sorry I cause such a fuss. I'm so inconvenient. Everywhere I go I cause chaos and worry. I'm sorry I brought that upon you all. I'm sorry." My eyes blurred as I talked. I tried to blink away the tears, but it wasn't working. Edward gently nestled me into his chest, hugging me, stroking my hair.

When I stopped the momentary lapse of reasoning, I pulled back again, determined to face him.

"Go on. Go home. I'm fine here." I said.

"Bella. Bella. Bella." Edward chanted, signing my name as 'beauty' rather than 'bells'. "I love you. I will stay with you as long as I can. As long as I can keep you safe. As long as I can keep you happy."

"I love you too." I whispered. I was so tired. "You know you're talking about forever right?"


	60. Chapter 60

It was 2 weeks before I had my sling off. My wrist unfortunately would be another five before it could be freed from the itchy plaster cast that kept it immobile. In that two weeks I ate more smoothies than I had previously in my entire life, to avoid people asking if they should be helping to feed me. I wouldn't even let Renee feed me, and she'd been down for almost four days before I could convince her to leave again. I was determined to heal as soon as possible. I took every bit of doctor advice I could, partially because Carlisle had an uncanny knack for detecting lies, but mostly because I wanted to be out of the hospital. Angela had entertained me a few times, and brought me all the school notes I was missing. She was wonderful and I was glad to be seeing her, even if I felt awful that she had to come to the hospital to see me. Edward spent most of his days at school – by request of his father, and broke all kinds of speed records to get to me by five minutes after school was done. He spent all of his nights with me too, although Carlisle again cautioned because staff were on call at all hours.

Edward had also bought me a new phone – one with a 'Bella-proof' case. He told me that it was waterproof, shock proof, and you could drive a small car over it and the phone would be fine. I put his 'generosity' in my mental tab, to be paid back later. I spent a few days learning the ins and outs of the phone, but I had to concede that it was infinitely better and faster in all ways.

Exactly nine days after my admittance – and I could swear before a judge that I'd only been trapped that long on Edward's or Charlie's overprotectiveness – I was released. I promised to wait until the end of the school day, and Edward promised to drive me home. Although my shoulder was free, it was stiff and sore, and heavily bruised, so I couldn't drive yet. Not to mention that holding my arms up and steering would pinch at my ribs. Edward waited patiently for me to enter the passenger side of his Volvo. I was standing firmly in the rain, just outside the hospital, my cast tucked safely under my jacket.

"I'd rather walk." I moaned.

"I know." He smiled. "But it is a little far, even for you."

"If you go a single breath above the speed limit…." I warned him, glaring. I hoped I sounded dangerous. I probably just sounded pathetic.

"I'll be a minimum of five under at all times." He assured me. "You won't feel a thing." _I promise_.

He waited like a statue, with the passenger door propped open for me. I took the last few steps into the car and eased myself in. I was not okay. I bit at my lip with my nerves. I couldn't wait to be healed fully.

True to his word, as Edward drove me home he kept a remarkably smooth pace. His extremely gradual accelerations and decelerations were actually causing me to wonder if he'd been possessed. I'd seen how he normally drove, and ran. Edward loved speed. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was relaxed and happy about the pace he was taking. He certainly looked it.

"Why are you so happy about going so slowly?" I asked, to avoid thinking about the fact that I wasn't driving.

"Because I won't have to come visit you in a hospital anymore. No more restrictions on overnight visiting, no more pretending to eat, just you, and me."

"I'll be glad to take a bath actually. Get the hospital smell off." I still smelled like disinfectant and stainless steel. Edward's brow furrowed.

"What? Don't think you could do what your father does?" I asked him. He started to shake his head before I'd even finished.

"I used to wonder. But now that I've managed to abstain so long from you, the rest of them smell about as appealing as animals. I could probably be a doctor, even a surgeon , now."

"Then why the frown?" I asked.

"Because you don't exactly have the room in your house to have a bath," Edward pointed out, his eyes wandering to mine. My stomach rolled. As I opened my mouth to correct his gaze while we were driving, he flicked his eyes back to the road. To be honest – I had forgotten that. I had been quite used to the bath we had in Phoenix. I didn't let my surprise and disappointment show.

"I mean bathe in general. It doesn't have to be a bath. I'd jump in a lake to get the smell off, if I could." I looked out again at the greenery passing beside me. We were nearly home. Nearly there. I heard a jumble of distorted noise and turned back towards Edward.

"What?" I asked, "Sorry."

"You're welcome to use the facilities at our house."

"Yeah no. I feel bad enough about being the only one leaving fingerprints and hair and stuff. I'm not bathing there." Or ever using the toilet – I thought to myself. Edward smiled as if he could read my mind.

"We'll see. I don't ever want you to be uncomfortable because you're human Bella."

"Well I don't want anyone else feeling uncomfortable because I'm human either." I retorted. Edward narrowed his eyes.

"Rosalie will adjust. Over time."

"And Jasper?"

"Jasper has also been doing very well. He doesn't even get thirsty when he catches your scent on me anymore."

I wrinkled my nose as I sat there. My house was coming into view. Charlie was not home yet, but there was another vehicle parked outside. It was a familiar beige truck that I had last seen on the La Push reserve.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed happily. It had been a while since I'd seen him. Edward shifted uncomfortably. He pulled the car to a stop on the opposite side of the road, making no move to leave.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'll wait until he leaves to rejoin you." Edward offered. "The treaty between his people and my family makes things a little uncomfortable."

"I thought Forks was neutral ground?" I asked.

"It is."

"Then you are both my guests, and you can both visit me. He's my friend, and you're my boyfriend. There's no reason to be hostile." I said stubbornly, kicking the door open. Edward followed me out, still looking uneasy. We walked across the street, and I smiled as Jacob caught sight of me. He waved a 'hello' salute and then his smile faltered. I wasn't sure if I looked like shit, or if he'd caught sight of Edward.

Either way, my usually happy Jacob had evaporated.

"Hey Jake! How's life? Shouldn't you be in school?" I asked. He smiled slightly at me, his gaze fixing on my arm.

"Early start, early end. Heard you were in hospital." He said, shrugging. "Thought I'd see how you were."

"Good. Fell down an escarpment. Usual week, I suppose." I laughed. I saw Jacob's eyes flicker over my shoulder again. "Oh – Jake, this is Edward, uh, my boyfriend."

Boyfriend felt like such an inadequate and unnatural word for Edward. A vampire of his age deserved a better title. Companion? Soulmate? That charted strange territory with most people though. Jacob's eyebrows furrowed slightly, but he nodded his head.

"Hey."

I heard Edward say something, but what it was I was unsure. I could only read one of them at a time.

"So Bella… you learned a lesson?" he asked, looking at my cast.

"Yeah. Ribs suck to break, and if you disable both arms at the same time, people try to feed you."

He smirked back. I looked back at Edward.

 _Bella, I was thinking of going to retrieve your truck, if that was alright with you?_ He signed and spoke at me. I sighed. If he truly felt that uncomfortable, I wasn't going to stop him from leaving.

"Alright, shoo." I said, sadness filling me as I watched him go. It would be nice if all of the aspects of my life fit together. Couldn't hope for too much from sworn enemies though. Edward winked at me as he climbed gracefully into his car, and sped away. Jacob and I worked our way into the living room. He helped me squeeze my awkward cast out of my jacket, and even threw my coat onto the hook.

"You look like shit." His voice boomed, as he settled down comfortably on the couch.

"I feel it. Or rather, I definitely felt it."

"What happened exactly?" he asked, picking something off of his jeans, and looking at me carefully.

"I hit a wolf with my truck – though I thought it was a dog. I tried to follow it into the woods, and I didn't even get very far. That's where things kinda blur. I just remember spinning a lot, and pain, and waking up in the hospital." Lies worked best if they contained elements of truth – and especially if they included something embarrassing. "I'm still kicking myself for not recognizing a wolf. I thought it was like a husky dog or something."

"Well that's stupid." He said. "I can tell my dad and Sam to lay off me at least." He sighed and reclined into the chair.

"What? Billy and who?"

"Sam. He's the oldest kid you met on the beach – remember?"

I did. I nodded

"Yeah well, they're kinda convinced that you keep getting hurt because you're hanging out with the Cullens." He looked like he hated to say it, and like he was being forced. "They gave me twenty bucks to come talk to you about it today."

"Ouch Jake, didn't know you needed to be paid to visit." I scoffed at him.

"Hey now, technically I don't have a license. I'm not _allowed_ to come visit you without someone driving me." He raised his finger, and goofily smiled.

"Well, twenty bucks is twenty bucks. Tell them to pay up. You can tell them you talked to me, and that I blatantly ignored you." I sat down in Charlie's usual TV viewing space. "Also, you can tell them – and I mean this with sincerity – that without the Cullens I would have died back when I first moved here. Without the Cullens I would have been attacked in Port Angeles a while back, and without the Cullens I would have definitely died nine days ago." I felt powerful as I recounted the goodness they had done. I owed them so much already. Jacob's mouth fell open. He looked dumbfounded.

"You – I mean – what? You've nearly died three times since you moved here?"

"Yeah Jake." I nodded. "So tell Billy to lay off, okay? They aren't as big and scary as he thinks they are. And tell him…" I had to think about how to word it. "Tell him I'm more informed than he is."

Jacob nodded solemnly.

And then Charlie burst through the door.


	61. Chapter 61

**Three chapters in as many days! :D Feeling awesome over here, and I'm glad you are all so appreciative. Much love!**

Charlie was carrying a pizza box and a case of beer – it was clearly a celebratory night for him, with me being home. He was dripping, and I noticed that the rain had started pouring harder outside. Jacob flew up to help unload him, and the boys chatted while Charlie took off his coat. Jacob seemed relieved for the intrusion, relieved that we would now not be discussing such dire circumstances, and that he had a way out of the awful mess Billy had forced him into. I certainly would not be revisiting that topic tonight.

"How are you doing Bella? Glad to be back?" Charlie asked.

"Very much so. No more hospitals for this year please. I think I've filled my quota." I leaned back too quickly and strained my ribs. A sharp inhale of breath and a readjustment of body placement, and I was right about ready for dinner.

Charlie and Jacob catered to me, which I found a little ridiculous, although I wasn't going to actively complain about it. I got two slices, and the boys finished the rest of the pizza. Jacob and Charlie continued to talk, and I'd tune in every now and then, but for the most part, I was just glad to be home, and watching the interaction.

"- take Sue down to Seattle at some point-"

"-yeah with the hiking season closing she'll be less busy at the reserve -"

I looked out of the window again, wondering where my truck, and Edward, were. Did he kill it? Did he finally decide he was done with my tank and its slowness and just end its poor life? The sky was dark and angry looking, but it seemed poetic and beautiful. I wondered if the artistically inclined Cullens had ever taken the time to paint in the beautiful greens, grays, and purples of Forks. Suddenly I got a napkin thrown at my head, which brought me back into reality. I snapped my head over at Jacob – the napkin throwing offender. Charlie was watching a football game, Jacob was watching me.

 _What_? I signed with my free hand.

"I asked you if you were going to come back to La Push any time soon? We've got warmer water coming in, so it's nicer to surf."

I waved my cast at him, sarcastically.

"Well yeah – you can't surf. But I figured you wouldn't be athletically inclined anyway. I'm just saying it'd be nice to have you down. I'm a little low on the friend group recently."

"I thought you had Quil, and Embry, and…." I fought to remember names.

"Paul and Jared." He filled in. _Can we talk?_ He signed. I looked over at Charlie. With a beer in his hand, his stomach full, and the game on, he'd be pretty content for a while.

"Hey Jake, come help me hike my homework to my room would you? The bag's heavy."

"Sure, sure." He chimed. Charlie didn't bat an eye.

We walked upstairs in silence, and then I settled onto my bed. Jacob took my fancy new leather desk chair.

"Shit Bella. Nice chair."

I screwed my eyes up, remembering that it had been a donation, courtesy of the Cullen family and something I still intended to pay for.

"Thank you. Edward helped me get it." I always told the truth if I could.

"What is he – like a sugar daddy?"

"Edward's seventeen. So I'm older than he is – biologically." I amended, laughing at Jacob's ignorance.

"Well what would you call it then?" he chuckled.

"First off – none of your business – and I'm kind of offended that you think I'm only with him for his money."

"Hey now…" Jacob held up his hands defensively. "I didn't mean that. It's just a nice perk. That and the cockatoo hair."

I sighed and shook my head at him. Edward's hair was not cockatoo hair. It was…. Amazing.

"Enough prying into my boyfriend, alright? How about you? Shouldn't you be partnered up by now?" I pried off one of my socks, and started on the other one.

"Well no one's caught my attention yet. I have high standards, clearly." He laughed at himself, putting his feet on the desk. "I dunno – I'll figure it out."

"And the friend situation? What was it that you didn't want to say in front of Charlie?"

Jacob stopped swinging his arms, and took his feet off of my desk. He folded his hands together, and then started speaking, and substituting with sign when he could, slowly.

"Paul and Jared have been weird lately. I don't know. At first they kind of hated Sam, all superior and grown up and shit, but then they got sick – within like a week of each other. I didn't see them for almost two weeks they were that sick. And then all of a sudden, it's like they've had some kind of brain surgery. They're running around with Sam, having important meetings. Hell, I think they even got matching tattoos. Who does that?" He started ripping up idly at a piece of post-it he'd found on my desk. I had nothing to say to him. It seemed like he had to vent, and he needed an ear, so I listened – as best as I could.

"They also keep looking at me weirdly. Like they're waiting for me to wake up, get this mental revelation, and start following them around like I'm a puppy."

"And they aren't hanging with you anymore?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Am I being stupid?"

"No Jake." I comforted. "They're probably just feeling more superior. You're all going through puberty right, so maybe they're just in a phase. Just keep Quil and Embry close, you know? And me. We'll work on the whole visitation thing. I think I've been in and out of hospital so much that Charlie wants some visitation with me."

"Not to mention mister playboy." Jacob winked. I rolled my eyes dramatically at him. His head perked up as he looked towards the window.

"Jeez. I'd forgotten how loud that truck is."

"Well I blame the mechanic." I chided. My chest relaxed a little. I hadn't realised I'd been so worked up about how long Edward was taking.

"Ouch. I guess I deserve that, after the boyfriend quips." He stood, and looked pensively at the truck. "It's old. What can I say? I'm amazed with myself that it's even still running."

"You've got mad skills." I pushed myself up to standing, forgetting my cast, and winced at my wrist. I headed to my door, indicated that Jacob should follow, and we set off back downstairs. Jacob looked quickly at Charlie.

"Alright, I'll head out while the cop's too off-duty to be mad at my driving. It was good to see you Bella."

I didn't hear Charlie's response, but it got Jacob laughing again, so it had probably been something along the lines of "I can still be mad later Jacob."

Jake slid on his boots, and coat, and pulled open the front door. A splashes of rain started glimmering in his hair as he retreated. I waved Jacob goodbye, and propped the front door open. Jacob almost bolted to his truck, and slid in, driving away quickly with a joyous wave. My eyes walked back to my truck, and confusion filled me.

Edward was not sitting in my driver's seat.

Esme was.

My mouth fell open with a little pop. I looked down at my disheveled appearance. I'd really rather look better for my second meeting with Edward's mother. My hair was messy, and greasy, my socks were still upstairs on my bed, my loose sweater was bundled up over my cast. Esme slid out of the cab of the truck, looking absurdly like a supermodel. She hurried over, at a human pace, ready to get out of the rain. I stepped back and smiled.

"Uh… Ch – Dad."

"Yeah Bells?"

"We have company again." Charlie didn't move, maybe he hadn't heard me. Esme stepped inside the door, , shrugging off her jacket quickly, and rested her hand lovingly on my cheek. She looked very relieved to see me in person.

"Good evening Bella," she smiled. "I've come to kidnap you."


	62. Chapter 62

**All fixed! Sorry! I didn't realise that could even happen. Thanks to all the readers who PMd me to inform me my chapter formatting had messed up!**

It took me a minute to remember to close the door behind her. Charlie stood up instantly, turning around in confusion. Esme walked around me, as I was still standing flabbergasted in the entranceway. Through the window to the side of the door I could see that the rain was actually washing my truck of all the mud it had accrued on its journey back to me. I turned to look at Esme, who shook hands gently with Charlie. He offered her a seat, apologizing for the mess – he had not expected company.

"Oh goodness don't worry. Your house is refreshingly tidy. Don't forget I've got five teenagers to contend with. Their version of 'tidy' would make anyone shudder."

Her comforting lies flew so smoothly and sincerely that I was seriously concerned. Their version of tidy was immaculate, model-like, show-home. I suppose Esme hadn't truly lied, just as I hadn't truly lied to Jacob a few minutes ago.

Charlie relaxed slightly.

"You brought Bella's truck back for her?" he asked. "Mighty nice of you, thank you."

"Well, I may have brought Bella's truck back to her, but I intend to put her in it and escort her back to my house." She winked conspiringly at Charlie. I was still standing in the entrance hall, confused.

"She just got home…" Charlie began.

"I heard!" Esme said, warmly. "I was so happy to hear that Carlisle released her. It was the first thing he told me when he got home today. And Edward – he's overjoyed. No more visits to the hospital, no more falling asleep in those awful chairs. He's been there almost as much as she has. I've been able to completely tidy his room, and do all of his laundry." Esme was chattering away, which was helping Charlie to relax. Someone this gorgeous who had 'ordinary' problems, was helping him associate with her. Probably.

"I'm pretty lucky. Bella's been taking care of me since she moved back here, and she's a pretty tidy kid."

"That's because mom isn't." I reminded him. "One of us had to be the grown up". Charlie looked startled, as if he'd forgotten that I was there too. He blushed and beckoned me to come sit. I sat on the couch beside Esme, and she rested her hand tenderly on my leg. What had I done to deserve such caring treatment? Was this why she was the 'mother figure' of the Cullen household? Not because she had married the leader, but literally because she oozed love and tenderness.

"Bella is a good girl. That's why I'm so happy her and Edward have found each other."

"Yeah. Edward's a good kid. Never had an ounce of trouble from any of your bunch which is more than I can say for most people in this town."

"Thank you. I've tried to keep them respectful, and always communicative. Speaking of which, that's why I'm here today." Esme said, smiling at me. I smiled back, watching Charlie and his face mirroring mine in confusion and interest.

She folded her hands in her lap, and looked speculatively at me.

"A little bird has informed me that Bella's most dire want as of this moment is a long, hot, bubble bath," Esme began, her smile leaking through her careful and almost professional negotiation face. My face went red.

"I didn't mean…." I started to interrupt, but Esme looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "I'm going to kill him."

"We don't really have a bath…" Charlie began, embarrassed. Concern flashed across my face. Charlie had never really made an extravagant living, but before this point I had never seen him worried or embarrassed by what he had, or didn't have. My stupid comment had caused him sadness. I'd be more careful with my words in the future. Esme saved the situation, as if there hadn't been that moment of embarrassment.

"A respectable bath is _not_ very common. The only reason I have one is that Carlisle insisted I have somewhere I could escape from the children. The only person to have really utilised it thus far is Rosalie." Esme shook her head and pursed her lips slightly. Renee pulled that look too. I wondered if when you became a mother you instantly acquired a handbook on dangerous yet polite facial expressions. "And so I came here to offer our amenities to the newest member of my family." She finished with the addition of a slow 'family' sign.

I felt a lump rise in my throat. She seriously felt that way. I'd only really even met her a few times and yet she was already classifying me as 'hers'. _My family_. But Esme was not finished yet.

"I've sent the boys on a camping trip – except Carlisle, he had to work – and so it's just us girls until Saturday at around noon."

Charlie and I both looked at the pouring rain outside. If it was true that the Cullen boys were going out into the forests, it would be for a hunt. I wondered if the rain would make things easier or harder for them. Charlie seemed worried they'd be okay.

"It's pouring out." He said, concerned.

"They're only heading to Bogachiel. It's a character building exercise." Esme assured him. Bogachiel was a small state park about 10 minutes from our house. It was small, pretty centered around the highway, and trails and sites were safe and well-covered. Charlie visibly relaxed.

"Dad I'd like to go. It might be fun. I'm being spoiled by everyone. I'm stuffed with real food, and now I get to wash the hospital stink off without my arm falling off in the shower." I went over and hugged Charlie's head from behind. He squeezed my arms back.

"If you're sure kiddo." He said, after turning to face me again. "I don't want you too tired, and ruining your arms and stuff."

"Pfft. I'll be literally at a doctor's house. I can't get too much safer."

Charlie considered that for a moment.

"Alright. I'm headed over to Billy's tomorrow anyway. We were talking about helping Sue with the shop," he conceded.

"Because it's not nice enough to fish?" I laughed. "You had to find something to do I guess."

It occurred to me that if I were staying overnight, I'd need a bag. "Uh, be right back Esme. I'll pack some stuff."

She nodded, smiling, and proceeded to talk to Charlie again. I caught one word about the 'shop', and tuned out to go get my stuff together. I walked upstairs, thinking. I had some newer pyjamas, and they should be clean, sitting in my closet. I grabbed those, my school backpack, some fresh clothing for the morning, and my hairbrush. I meandered to the bathroom, grabbing my toiletries bag and jamming that in too. What else would I need? Should I bring food? I chewed on my lip for a moment, and then I felt my phone buzz.

 _We have food, you won't need to bring any._ Alice.

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes having a clairvoyant friend was a blessing – like in the saving your life kind of aspects – and sometimes it was weird. I fumbled around upstairs for a short period longer, and then started to make my way downstairs again. Esme was still engaging Charlie in discussion. I doubt he'd talked so much all month. I had no idea what they were talking about, and proceeded to grab a few granola bars anyway. When I came back into the living room Esme was laughing at something, and Charlie looked quite pleased with himself.

"Alright, I'm good to go." I said, and Esme rose, walking over to join me at the door.

"Excellent."

We put on our rain jackets, while Esme swooped up my bag, and I slipped into my rain boots. I turned back to Charlie.

 _Thanks for tonight Dad. This was fun._ I signed at him.

 _You're welcome._ He signed back.

"Have fun tomorrow." I said, as Esme opened the door to the unforgiving sky.

"You too Bella."

As we made our way out to the truck, I shook my head in disbelief at the wonderful woman who was kidnapping me. This would certainly be an interesting night.


	63. Chapter 63

Esme offered me the driver's seat straight away. I sighed as I shook my head, and rerouted to the passenger side. The arm that wasn't held up in a cast was still quite sore and tired. I watched Esme enter the cab, and place my bag in the small space behind the seat. I slowly climbed into the cab, breathing a little harshly as I rested on the awful seats. I'd never found it uncomfortable before, but my ribs were protesting now. I gently buckled my seatbelt, and began studying the driver as Esme pulled out of the driveway. She drove very much like I did, while not looking as though she was hampered by the slow speed.

"Do you usually drive this slowly?" I asked. She laughed.

"A little faster, but I'm not like my children when it comes to speed. A maximum of twenty over the speed limit at any given time I'd say." She was talking very loudly. I caught every word. It didn't seem to inconvenience her either. "Please don't worry about me. I'd walk home with you if it would make you more comfortable."

"It's a little far, even for me." I winced as I remembered the pain in my legs from running all that way.

"Are you in much pain?" Esme asked loudly, her face scrunched with concern. It was a heartbreaking expression.

"No, no. Nothing unmanageable. I swear."

We sat in silence as she maneuvered my truck out of town. The rain was pounding hard against the asphalt outside, and the streetlights were fizzling on. It was going to be a while before the sun set, and yet the darkness of the clouds was dimming the ambient light to the point where it looked almost like night.

"Why did you come to kidnap me?" I asked.

"I explained that at your house."

"No I mean, why did _you_ come to do it?" I clarified, watching her lips as best I could in the fading light.

"Alice predicted that only I'd be able to get both you and Charlie to comply."

I squinted grumpily out of the window again. I wasn't sure I enjoyed being played.

"So is everyone actually out hunting?" I asked.

"The boys are. Us girls will have the house to ourselves until Carlisle returns."

I nodded my head, and looked back towards the oncoming road. I closed my eyes as my stomach began to roll. I was fine. I was safe. It wasn't long before I felt the truck turn sharply and slowly onto a road that I opened my eyes again. We were on the long winding driveway of the Cullen mansion. As we approached the house I could see the glittering of the lights through the trees. We pulled up and the front door opened. A beam of white spilled out across the steps, illuminating a path to where Esme had pulled the truck to a stop. I maneuvered myself out of the cab of the truck, and headed slowly inside, Esme keeping pace with me. Alice was waiting for us. She was clad in comfy looking pyjamas, which was comical as she didn't sleep, and her hair was pushed back with a headband.

 _Good evening Bella_. Alice signed, vibrating with enthusiasm. "Rosalie and I set up a bath for you."

I blinked with surprise. Alice I expected, she had always been inexplicably excited about the prospect of a new sister, but Rosalie?

 _She's coming around to you. I think it helps that she saw how devoted Edward was to you. Don't forget, she's known him the longest of all of us. They've got a complicated but remarkably loving relationship._

"Uh… thank you." I said simply. "I didn't mean to impose."

"Of course you didn't." Esme said. She slipped off her jacket and helped me with my own. After shedding my boots too, they gently eased me inside. Alice began to bring me upstairs as Esme disappeared in the general kitchen direction. I watched her go, and slightly tripped on a step. Alice braced me almost as instantly as I slipped.

"Would you like some hot chocolate?" Alice asked. "Esme is putting on the kettle, as they say, but we aren't sure what you'd prefer."

"Okay seriously, you guys aren't a hotel. Stop catering. I feel bad enough that I'm using your bath."

"You have no choice. We want to spoil you. You've been through a lot, and we want to make your recovery as easy as possible." Alice said, happily. I detected a hint of smugness in her voice. She suddenly looked behind her, and I followed her gaze. Rosalie was there. She too was in comfy looking sleepwear, although she looked more like a model than she had any right to. She looked exactly like she'd been plucked from a Victoria's Secret photoshoot.

"Plus Edward would brood if we did any less." She said, quietly, but I caught it. I smiled shyly at her. It was the first time she'd ever really spoken to me.

"I appreciate it. I'm not sure I deserve it, but I am flattered by it." I blushed. Rosalie disappeared into a room I hadn't been in before. Alice guided me in too. The room was whiter than a freshly laid field of snow. It was lit with dozens of candles, and off to the side was a magnificently deep and round tub. It was almost a pool. There was a massive mirror too – now four models stood in the room, and two bruised and battered hospital gals looking confused.

Rosalie handed me a white robe. I grabbed it with my free hand, looping it gently over my cast so I'd have my free hand again.

"You can use anything in here." She said, waving her hand around. "And take your time. Don't drown or anything stupid."

She shrugged and excused herself, head held high as if she had done a great deed. I guess it was a start. Alice hugged me gently from behind. I turned to her.

 _Progress_. She signed enthusiastically. _Trust me that's as good as she'll get for a long while._

"I'll be back in a few minutes to help you wrap up your cast." She said aloud, and she too slipped out of the room. I took a deep breath and looked around. The bathroom looked like something out of a movie, rather than like it belonged in a home. The one wall was a large slightly frosted window, and the others were all white tile. I was definitely out of my league here. The bath however was already waiting, so I got to work taking off my clothes. They didn't feel right just slumped on the floor so I folded them and placed them neatly on the counter slipping into the robe. The door opened suddenly in my peripheral vision - making me jump.

"Sorry." Alice said. She was holding a roll of plastic wrap and a ziplock bag.

"I'm getting used to it." I said. I already was relatively used to being startled unexpectedly by things I hadn't heard. We rolled up my robe sleeve and she helped me to water-proof my cast. When we were done she grabbed a handful of brand new looking disposable razors, some eyebrow tweezers, and a nail file. I hadn't realized I was going to be doing a full body cleanse. I definitely needed it, but wasn't expecting it.

"Take all the time you need. We're watching a movie downstairs. Esme is also bringing your hot chocolate up."

The kindness was starting to become overwhelming. I bit my lip and stayed silent. Alice smiled knowingly and backed out, holding the door open for Esme. She flitted in quickly, resting the mug on the expansive side of the bath, and then also excused herself with a smile. I dropped the robe, wincing at my battered and bruised body in the mirror. I carefully stepped into the bath and sank down. It felt so good. Tears started to run down my face of their own accord. I definitely didn't deserve this and I would be killing Edward. I dunked my head under to wash away the betrayal of my eyes. My heart was so filled with emotion that I was glad Jasper wasn't here to relay it to Edward. Nobody but me could figure out what it was I was trying to feel.

After a few minutes of just relaxing I began to get to work. I was slow - as I was one handed and rather clumsy - as I shaved, plucked, washed and neatened my entire body. It was like washing off a coat of grime that felt weeks old. I felt properly Bella again. The hot chocolate was also a creamy soul soothing beverage, and by the time I was done I felt more relaxed.

After my skin had begun pruning I began to let the bath drain and turned on the shower, I used the moveable head to rinse down as much of the grime, bubbles, and dirty water that I could see, and then for safe measure did it again, also rinsing myself a third time. If I could avoid it - I would rather they didn't come back to a dirty bathroom.

I began searching for my clothes and discovered that they had been spirited away by one of the Cullen women. I also had not noticed that my toiletries bag had made it in here with me. I brushed my teeth and my hair, and donned the robe again, unwinding my cast wrapping.

The door to my side cracked open again. It stayed there.

"You can come in." I said, realizing the intent.

Alice appeared, she had my pyjamas from my bag.

"Sorry. I forgot to bring these in with your toiletries when I brought the plastic wrap." She explained. So not even Alice was flawless? It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one in this house that could feel vulnerable.

"It's alright. Thank you. For everything. I feel better." I smiled. She grabbed my free hand, still balancing my pyjamas in her other hand and guided me to Edward's room.

"Good. That was the point!" She pulled me down towards Edward's room, reversing, so that I could still see her face. "We had a spare bed in the storage space, so we've put it up again in Edward's room for you, until he goes and selects one that he thinks matches his decor."

"That's ridiculous. He doesn't sleep."

"But _you_ do. So if you ever want to stay over we'll be prepared. And besides." She looked at me with a devilish grin. "There are _other_ things you can do with beds."

I blushed furiously as we entered the room. Their version of a spare bed was a queen sized rosewood four poster. I shook my head. Our version of a spare bed was a couch. This was also unnecessary. I would definitely be sleeping on his usual leather couch. Alice paused, and then grimaced, looking back at me.

"Oh fine, be that way." She grabbed a pillow and the top blanket and threw them to the couch. I smiled at her. Maybe the psychic aspect could also be funny.

"Get dressed and then feel free to join us downstairs if you'd like. We're watching random movies, and having some girl chat. You can also stay up here. Whatever you'd like. It's your home too now." And she disappeared again into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

It's my home now too.

And as undeserving as I thought I was… I did begin to feel that.


	64. Chapter 64

**I'm so sorry! We've been in the middle of a house renovation and I lost track of all time. I'm still committed to this story, don't even worry about it!**

I was left, standing alone in Edward's room. The wall of windows I had so admired before, had essentially vanished with the light in the room. It looked like I was in a room twice the size, an exact mirror copied onto the glass. If I flicked off the light I would be undoubtedly left in darkness, but able to perhaps see into the forest outside. I would come back to that later. I retreated from the room, unable to shake the eerie feeling of being watched. With great care, I swept downstairs, searching for the source of the flickering light I could see in the hallway. As I turned the corner into the living room I found their massive television playing a chick-flick I had seen before. The three women, who were snuggled up on couches, looking unfairly like they were 'posing casually' for a photoshoot, turned towards me. Alice patted the seat beside her, a separate couch from Rosalie and Esme. I walked in, using the light from the movie as my guide. I wondered if the vampires remembered just how dark it was in here for me.

Alice patted my shoulder as I sat, and I looked over at her face.

"Feel better?" She signed and said.

"Much. I don't stink of hospital anymore."

I caught a wave out of the side of my eye, and looked quickly over to Esme.

"Carlisle _always_ smells like hospital. He showers every day when he arrives home. I promise that you did not smell anything like him."

"Well thank you. I feel less gross, regardless." I said, thoughtful. That was a good point. Carlisle was often covered in blood at work. How strange must it be to the Cullen household for him to come home smelling of slightly old dinner? It would probably be analogous to a chef coming home smelling of chicken, or bacon, or garlic. "Does it make you hungry – or thirsty – whatever, when Carlisle gets home?"

I felt Alice shake with laughter beside me. Rosalie's head turned and she said:

"Not as much as you." She was smiling, and I assumed the comment wasn't meant to be hurtful. "Seriously though – not really. By the time Carlisle gets home he smells more of disinfectant than anything. You get the occasional whiffs, but since its old, it smells kind of…"

"Off-putting." Alice said delicately in my ear. I jumped a little, I hadn't realised she had leaned in so close. She ducked her head in apology and I turned so that I could see all three women at once. No more scares for me if I could help it.

"Is there anything else, about regular 'human' life that's hard for you?"

"Plenty." Alice supplied. Esme has to be careful with groceries, because she can't lift too much at once. She often takes Emmett, so they can carry all the bags at once without stares."

"Gym class is awful." Rosalie started. I blinked in surprise.

"Because you have to be careful?" I asked.

"We have to be very attentive. Make sure we don't crash into anyone, throw anything too hard…"

"Changing rooms are awkward. People can't help but stare. I often slip into the bathroom before class to change." Alice supplied.

"I don't bother with that." Rosalie rolled her eyes. Something told me that adoring and jealous attention would never be adverse to her liking.

"I paint regularly, but have to space out releases of my work. It isn't possible for someone to produce as much as I do in the time that I do it in." Esme threw in thoughtful.

"Basically – just little adjustments." Alice summed up. "But you're used to that. Even the way you just positioned yourself, so you can see us all, to be sure of who's talking, or that you don't miss much."

"Yeah I suppose I do." I smiled. Perhaps we had more in common than I thought. All trying to blunder through, pretending we were normal.

"What do you do with the groceries?" I asked Esme. She smiled.

"I cook them, and donate them to shelters."

"But this week we saved some." Alice said. I looked at her in surprise. "Well we hoped you'd be coming to our house a little, and wanted to make sure you had food on hand."

"You hoped? Didn't you know?" I asked.

"I can't see everything. The further away, or the more abstract the plan, the less I see. Immediate plans, or courses of action I can unravel really well."

I sat thinking for a few moments.

"James had said something about that, or you. I think. Something confusing. I was trying to piece it all together in the hospital, but I missed too much. I think Edward knew more, but I didn't feel like reminding him of why I was there."

Alice straightened up, and looked serious.

"A lot came of that unfortunate encounter with James. I promise you, although I got some answers that I would have never have –"

"I know, Alice."

She faltered, and bit her lip. Then restarted.

"When I woke up… I remembered nothing of my human life. I awoke alone, in a forest, filled with confusing visions. It took me a long time to figure out what was going on. I spent months perfecting my diet, perfecting my visions, not letting them overrun the present, while using them to view the future. I found only one consistency… Carlisle and Edward."

I focused very hard on her, determined to understand her beginnings… her origin story – if you would. She began to spin a very lonely tale, but as lonely as it was, it was filled with hope, filled with love. She had searched far and wide, knowing that she couldn't find her family until she found Jasper. Knowing that she had so far to go, and it all hinged on him walking into a restaurant on a rainy day. An undetermined time. Months of waiting, of hoping. Her knowledge and confidence in the future, and yet the mystery of the past. A mystery which had been slightly cracked open, by my ungainly capture.

"Edward said James had remarkably simple thoughts. They were like Emmett's in their directness, their lack of complexity and arrangement. He was solely focused on learning, not revealing. Although Edward managed to get a lot from them, James hadn't even bothered to think about me. Just a recognition. It wasn't until after he was in the 'game' as he called it, that he began to get excited enough to let his thoughts wander back. I was one of his other 'games' his other conquests. He had killed my creator, with just enough gloating to let him see that I'd been changed. He had found us in an asylum. No doubt my visions were the sort to lock me away back then."

Alice's usually poignant and clear paths of thought seemed to be crisscrossing. It was as if she were still processing the information herself. She kept jumping forward, and backward in her story, reminding herself of little details that she had forgot to mention. In the weak light from the television, she looked more human than ever. Vulnerable.

She seemed to fade away for a moment, then come back, smiling.

"But as you know, I found Jasper, I found my family. And now – I found me too."

I smiled at her, wondering what I could possibly say next.

"How much has Edward told you? About any of us?" Esme asked suddenly, saving me the worry of how to proceed.

"Bits and pieces. He's really into privacy, although I did know a lot about Alice, Emmett and Carlisle." Edward had previously explained – it was the half of his family who wouldn't mind if I knew every little detail about their lives. He hadn't gone that far, of course, except into Carlisle's history – who's 400 years would take me a while to get through.

"Always the gentleman. I should have told him I wouldn't mind you knowing my story." Esme shook her head. "Of course he'd wait until I permitted him."

"Would you expect any less of him?" I chuckled. As annoyingly forward as he could be – the word chivalrous came to mind instantly. Edward would always act honorably.


	65. Chapter 65

**Apparently people didn't get an email notification about the posting of this chapter, so I'm trying again!**

Esme began to regale me with her experiences. Her story was one that flowed in order, rather than bouncing between past and present, it was a solid, weary, and heartbreaking tale, one which had me biting my lips as I thought about the beautiful motherly woman before me undergoing the struggles she had. Her loss of her baby was the worst part, but culminating in the start of her new life, somehow seemed to balance. She had inherited Edward, a child in desperate need of a mother, and gradually the others came to join them, extending the size of her family much farther than she had ever anticipated.

"I'm sorry your life has been so… difficult." I summed up, lamely.

"It has been challenging, certainly, but I am endlessly grateful for the gits I've been granted."

I sat quietly, processing. Alice's confusing and out-of-order tale summed her up quite perfectly, while Esme's tragic, and yet hopeful and happy story, gave her the wisdom she needed to be a mother, while giving her the strength and motivation to continue. In the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie shift uncomfortably. She was not ready to share her tale, and I wouldn't pressure her to.

"I have loved this. I really have. Learning more about your family is going to take me the better half of a lifetime I feel, but I'm glad you're letting me in. I'll obviously answer any questions you have, just feel free to ask, but right now – I need to get some sleep. That bath did wonders on me." Thankfully, a yawn managed to slip its way into my mouth as I finished my little goodnight spiel. I wasn't overly tired yet, and I had a lot to process, but I wasn't going to create an uncomfortable situation for a woman who (still quite unexplained to me) wasn't really comfortable with me.

"Of course. You know where you're sleeping, although I can tell you that Edward won't be happy." Alice chimed, wrinkling her nose. I smirked, standing up, and headed out into the dark entranceway. It occurred to me that they truly hadn't thought about turning on the lights. Adjusting to a human would be a process for them. Adjusting to darkness would be an interesting process for me, as I would never bring up the inconvenience it caused me. I hovered at the base of the stairs for a moment.

"Oh – If I snore, feel free to smother me to death. I'd rather be dead than shake the floorboards like Charlie." I saw Rosalie crack a smile again, and I placed my hand on the banister, treading carefully upstairs. Seventeen stairs later I hit solid ground again, and walked slowly towards Edward's room. When I got inside it felt as though I was outside again. The moon had just slid out from behind the clouds, and the shadows of trees fell through the wall of windows into the room around me. It looked in the dim light as if someone had forgotten a wall. Only my knowledge of the glass being there prevented my intake of breath. It was sort of creepy, and sort of beautiful. I wondered if Edward ever sat here at night observing the forest outside. I walked over to the couch, bumping my leg gently on the side of the coffee table I had forgotten was there. If I lay down where it was, I wouldn't be able to see the forest anymore. Was that a good thing? I would feel exposed I think.

Suddenly I caught a tiny blink of light out of the corner of my eye. I sat and waited for a little, and then saw it again. Fireflies. The little lightning bugs were flashing haphazardly in places. I definitely wanted to watch them. Should I angle the couch? No I wouldn't mess up his room. I grabbed the blanket, pulling it close to the window and folded it like a sleeping bag, rolling up inside it. I left the pillow under my head. This would probably suck for my shoulder, and I could feel my wrist aching already, but I was determined. I would send myself to sleep with the glitter of the night.

My dreams were strange. Instead of the usual nightmare my mind was filled with confusing images of Alice wandering around an abandoned hospital, flashes of Esme on top of a cliff on a stormy night, a flash of red fire that danced around laughing, and the cry of a wolf sounding in the distance. I couldn't hear much, which was usual, but not for my dreams, and different parts of the dream flickered in and out of focus. I was following a scared and bedraggled looking Alice through an empty corridor when I came across a mirror. Behind me was a dark figure, flowing red hair tumbling over their face. I checked behind me and they weren't there, but when I looked in the mirror she was. Her hand reached out to touch my shoulder…

And I felt a cold hand brush my hair back, bringing me out of unconsciousness.

I choked out a scream, flinging myself haphazardly away, and felt the crushing arms of someone strong wrap around me in the darkness. A light quickly filled the room – Edward's cell phone light – and I saw the concerned face of Edward, who had pinned my arms to my sides to undoubtedly stop me from injuring myself in my sleepy struggle. I took a deep breath, and relaxed, curling into his chest for a hug. I felt his chest murmur with sound. I pulled back to look at his lips.

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry – I was just letting my family know that your screams didn't indicate my murdering preferences."

I chuckled once, swallowing, and clearing my throat. "At least, not tonight."

"Morbid." He shook his head, still looking concerned. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He signed his apology.

"No it wasn't you, really, well it was but – it was poor timing I think. I was having a very creepy dream." I realised he had essentially lit his phone light and threw his phone down to stop me from flailing around. "Is your phone okay?"

"It's fine." He assured me without even checking, he began speaking and signing. "Are your arms okay? Your shoulder?"

"Yeah they're fine." I said, rolling them around carefully.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." I said, sitting up cross-legged.

"Why exactly did you ignore both the bed and the couch? Are you trying to end up back in hospital?" He asked. I bit my lip and shrugged, wincing slightly at the stiffness in my shoulder.

"The bed is unnecessary and stupid. You don't sleep, and this is your room. I was going to sleep on the couch – but I was distracted." I felt really idiotic explaining what had led me to curl up on the floor. Edward waited patiently for my explanation, eyebrow raised in expectation.

"There was a firefly display happening, and I thought it would be peaceful to fall asleep to."

He frowned slightly, looking out into the forest.

"I can honestly say I don't think I've ever noticed that before. I recall the flashes, but I've never taken the time to watch them. I certainly never thought of them as a display worth watching."

I could feel a blush creep up my cheeks, and was rewarded by Edward stroking them.

"Would you mind coming to the bed now? You're making me nervous on the floor."

I rolled my eyes, but accepted his assistance in gathering my things and moving to the bed. It was a wholly unnecessary entity in the room. I tapped my phone on the bedside table, to reveal that it was 4am.

"I was about to ask what you're doing back so late, but I guess it's too early to be late."

"We were hunting. We wanted to give you girls some alone time."

"Well it worked. I had the best bath I've ever had, and enjoyed some bonding time. Happy?" I fake scolded him as he chuckled. "Shouldn't you be wetter?"

"I was soaked. Alice laid out some clothes for us, and we toweled off downstairs. My hair still may be damp."

I reached my fingers up and tousled his hair. It was indeed damp. I lay on the bed, tucking into a ball, and curling my hand up under my nose to subtly smell. He smelled divine.

"Is it harder hunting in the rain?" I asked, yawning. He smiled at me, sitting across from where I lay so I could see him clearly.

"Sometimes. The rain can confuse smells, but our hearing more than makes up for it."

"Lucky you." I said, fighting another yawn.

"Go to sleep Bella. I'll be here in the morning."

"What exactly do you do here at nights?"

"I'll have to rediscover that. After all – I haven't really spent a night here in a while."

I closed my eyes, smiling. I guess he hadn't.


	66. Chapter 66 - Edward

Edward

When I had entered my room I had been prepared for Bella to not be on the bed. Alice's thoughts had grumbled as much as soon as I entered hearing range. As we toweled off and changed in the entranceway, to avoid drenching Esme's antique hardwood, I could hear her apologies emanating from the living room. Bella had indeed had a bath – a long one, and then come down to listen to some 'origin stories', but her tiredness had overcome her, and soon she had disappeared upstairs to my room, where she then had avoided the bed and taken up on the couch. So as I had entered into my room I had looked at the couch, and found Bella to be absent. She was instead laying wrapped up in the blanket as if she were in a cocoon, her face looking out towards the wall of windows. With my vision I could see all the small movements of the night creatures, but I wondered what it was that had captured her attention enough that she was to fall asleep by a cold window. Had it been the moon? The natural light source peering through the clouds at odd intervals would certainly have cast some intriguing shadows, but enough to risk injury of her shoulder and damage to her cast?

I had walked over to her quietly, seeing her frowning and twitching with reaction to whatever dream she was having. Her breathing was uneven – and it sounded more like she was in the midst of a nightmare than anything else. Was she sleeping by the window because she felt vulnerable then? She rolled her head slightly and a lock of hair fell, catching her eyelashes in what looked like an uncomfortable manner. I reached forward gently, brushing the hair from her eye. Her heart immediately leapt, her eyes flew open, and she screamed as she frantically flailed her way out of the blanket. I saw her cast come dangerously close to flinging into the window, and I hurriedly pulled her close, while remembering my flashlight on my phone. She probably couldn't see a thing. I quickly dropped the phone onto the corner of the blanket as I steadied her, trying to be careful of her shoulder.

 _What was that?_

 _What happened?_

 _Is Bella alright Edward?_

 _Jesus, give the girl a heart attack why don't you?_

 _I thought you weren't trying to kill her._

"Everything's fine. I startled her." I reassured them, as well as myself. Her scream truly had been bone-chilling.

 _Scared her to death more like._

 _Edward that sounded like a murder escaping scream. Startled doesn't quite cover it._

"Pardon?" Bella's voice interrupted the cacophony of quick thoughts inside my head.

"I'm sorry – I was just letting my family know that your screams didn't indicate my murdering preferences."

That cued a wave of mental relief, as well as a torrent of calm filtering through from Jasper. Bella seemed to find my comment more amusing than I had intended.

"At least, not tonight."

"Morbid." Sometimes her jokes hit a little too close to the mark. I wondered if she realised just how close she was to death on a regular basis. I apologized loudly, with signing to emphasize my feeling towards having scared her so badly.

"No it wasn't you, really, well it was but – it was poor timing I think. I was having a very creepy dream." She shivered and I saw the hairs on her arms raise in response to whatever images she was seeing. Oh to be inside her mind at these moments. She frowned, staring at my discarded phone. It was screen side down, so that the light illuminated the room. "Is your phone okay?"

"It's fine. Are your arms okay? Your shoulder?" she had flailed and tensed so much I was worried about additional injury. She had – after all – only just returned from a hospital visit. I had not intended on putting her back there.

"Yeah they're fine." She said, as she began testing the statement. After a few good stretches she relaxed again. I breathed a little easier too.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Why exactly did you ignore both the bed and the couch? Are you trying to end up back in hospital?" She winced at the harshness of my tone, and I immediately regretted my choice of words. Perhaps a half-asleep Bella was not an ideal bantering partner.

"The bed is unnecessary and stupid. You don't sleep, and this is your room. I was going to sleep on the couch – but I was distracted."

I waited for her to continue. She had not turned on any of the electronic devices in the room, and I had previously studied the landscape on my approach to her. What was so enticing that it required she sleep in front of the window?

"There was a firefly display happening, and I thought it would be peaceful to fall asleep to."

That shocked me. I looked immediately – stupidly, in retrospect – out into the forest. There were indeed the familiar yellow-green bioluminescent emissions of the local firefly species dotting the night landscape. I had looked out of this window, onto this scene, almost every night for four years, and had never stopped to look at something as simple, and as unpredictable, as a firefly flash. If I focused I could see the ones close to the house, without their abdomens lit, but I chose instead to look out into the night, further away, as she might be seeing them.

"I can honestly say I don't think I've ever noticed that before. I recall the flashes, but I've never taken the time to watch them. I certainly never thought of them as a display worth watching." I looked back at her, wondering quickly if she'd caught the words I'd said, and was rewarded with her cheeks darkening with blood. Something about my admiration of her ability to find beauty was embarrassing to her. I gently touched the warmth, extra hot along her cheekbone. It almost seared my skin – much like our kisses. A raw heat that made my hairs stand up on end. She rested her hands down on the floor beside her and I heard the soft clunk of the cast as it hit the floor.

"Would you mind coming to the bed now? You're making me nervous on the floor."

 _Mind the coffee table. She bumped that earlier._ Alice chimed.

Bella grumbled under her breath about the transition, and yet obliged. I took the blanket and pillow, while I – barely – trusted her to escort herself. I stood firmly between the bed and the coffee table, so that she would avoid it, while she slumped, quite unceremoniously for Bella, onto the bed. She was clearly still exhausted. She tapped the phone she had left on the bedside table, to reveal the time, and then rolled over, carefully.

"I was about to ask what you're doing back so late, but I guess it's too early to be late." Her eyes were blinking slowly as she talked, as if she were fighting sleep. I kept my response short and simple, trying to keep my voice low, and relaxing, while staying within a range she should be able to hear.

"We were hunting. We wanted to give you girls some alone time."

"Well it worked. I had the best bath I've ever had, and enjoyed some bonding time. Happy?" She scolded meekly. A thought trickled slowly across her face. "Shouldn't you be wetter?"

I smiled as I responded. She was pulling at straws to talk to me. "I was soaked. Alice laid out some clothes for us, and we toweled off downstairs. My hair still may be damp."

She reached up to touch it, and slowly ran her fingers through it. The warmth of her wrist brushing my forehead was calming and exhilarating. She settled back down quickly, as the need for sleep edged at her.

"Is it harder hunting in the rain?" She yawned. I pulled myself away sitting across from her.

"Sometimes. The rain can confuse smells, but our hearing more than makes up for it."

"Lucky you." She managed through another yawn. Her mouth opened again as if she were about to fire another question.

"Go to sleep Bella. I'll be here in the morning." I quickly interjected, watching her eyes stay closed for a little longer every time she blinked.

"What exactly do you do here at nights?" she mumbled so quietly that I barely caught it. Usually I scoured the globe for new music. Tonight I would be watching, reading, perhaps talking to my family. Bella had pulled me out of an isolation I hadn't realised I was entertaining.

"I'll have to rediscover that. After all – I haven't really spent a night here in a while."

Her eyes closed for the last time as she smiled. I waited for a long time, immobile, making sure she was sound asleep. When her lips parted ever so lightly to let out half a breath, and her eyes began moving behind her lids, I relaxed myself, focusing on my family instead. Emmett and Rosalie were engaged in a game of chess, but Rosalie's mind was actually worried about Bella. Whether or not she should have shared her story, whether Bella had claimed she was tired to avoid it, or if she was actually tired. How should she know after all? Her thoughts were cursory, and usually about her own image rather than Bella, but she had been a very gracious and civil host tonight… for Rosalie. It was her I would visit with first.

I knocked gently on the door and heard a muttered 'yup'. I stepped carefully inside, and saw Emmett was facing me. His face cracked into a smile.

"Finished murdering Bella? I've heard bleach is a good clean up tool," he quipped as I flipped him a finger. Rosalie turned towards me, her eyebrow raised in expectation.

"What do you want?" _I swear I was nice to her._

"To thank you." I said. I walked over to her, and awkwardly wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She was sitting, so I had to bend slightly. She stiffened in surprise, and then placed her hand on my arms.

 _Look, I may not agree with the risks she poses, or your relationship with her, or how much she could fuck up your life if she leaves, or dies, or whatever… but she's not bad._

I stayed in the hug, squeezing her a little tighter.

"I know. And I know that you're doing what you do because you're caring." She was caring, primarily about herself, and Emmett, but we had a special sibling relationship, and we looked out for each other. She knew I was in her darkest and snidest thoughts, and that I still painted her in an amicable light. She knew how twisted I could get, and yet here she was, against her better judgement, 'being nice to the pet human', as she had posed it to me before.

Emmett was looking shocked, but not prying. I rarely hugged, but in this case – with the girl's night preceding our arrival – he'd made an educated guess. I pulled away, and began to leave.

"Oh and Emmett?"

"Yup?"

"Rematch for the squirrels."

"You're on bro." he laughed with a smile.


	67. Chapter 67 - Edward

Edward

I visited with Esme next, listening to her mind as she filled me in on the details of the nights. It was very much a 'girl-gossip' segment going on in her brain, while her thoughts were also consumed with an overwhelming urge to protect, to hug, to love her new child. The fact that she considered Bella wholly a part of her family was still startling to me.

 _Why do you accept her so willingly?_ I signed at her. Our acquisition of sign language had further increased the privacy of conversations in the house – with the notable exceptions of Alice and myself.

 _Because you have never seen yourself clearly._ She thought in response.

I blinked at her blankly for her to continue.

 _Not only is Bella an amazing individual, who I would gladly accept as a friend without your input, but she is also a critical turning point in your life. She has fundamentally changed the way you look at the world. Your whole perspective on life has changed. You have a new center of focus, a new pathway to joy – other than your music. I cannot count how many jokes and how much laughter you've let out since she entered your life._

She paused, walking over to rest her hand on my shoulder.

 _I have no reservations. Except that I fear for the future. For how your relationship could develop, and change, with the passage of time. Whether or not you'll have to change her._

My stomach recoiled at the thought. Something as pure, as joyous, as Bella should not be reduced to a life of darkness, of blood, of thirst. But also to have her… die. She'd nearly died a few times since I met her, and I had done everything in my power to continue her life. The thought of her being absent from the world was a dark one. I would have to make a choice at some point. A very critical one. And I believed I knew someone who would be able to assist me in when that choice may occur.

I saw a flash of myself knocking on Alice and Jasper's door appear in Alice's mind. _Come on in._ she chimed at the vision. I pulled myself away from Esme, and headed up the stairs to Alice.

I opened the door as soon as I got to her room. Jasper was working on a model ship replica, carving gently with his fingernails, and only occasionally resorting to fine tipped tools to add in details. He smiled at me as I entered, knowing that if Alice and I were having a conversation, it wouldn't really matter where he was. No one ever saw a thing.

I began to start to ask my question, and she saw it, responding instantly.

 _I'm not sure when it happens. All I know is that it does._

She showed me a picture, a vision, a Bella more terrifyingly beautiful than the one I had nestled in my bed. A flawless, radiant, marble entity, was running through the forest at blurring speeds, her eyes a daunting and bloody red. My stomach lilted, earning me a curious look from Jasper. He had felt awe, pride, fear, and now nausea in the span of a few seconds. He – to his credit – pretended not to be feeling what I was, and used none of his own influences.

I began to start to ask her to explain how she didn't know, and she answered again.

 _Since you pulled her from the path of the van, her future has been entwined with yours. Sometimes she looks older, sometimes she looks younger, sometimes it's winters, sometimes it's summers. There is no set time I see her making this run, all I know is that it happens._

I'm not entirely sure what my retort was, but Alice glowered at me.

 _You can be angry all you like but it's happening. It isn't fuzzy. It's very defined. Her presence as one of our kind is solid. It's like a fixture. Only the timing of that event is warped._

I began to comment that Bella shouldn't have to die, that she should live a normal life. Something so bedraggled by misfortune should have the chance to live peacefully, happily, without being converted into a blood-thirsty statue. Alice looked at me sarcastically.

 _First of all – our existence isn't as bad as you paint it. We've learned to live peacefully, happily, contentedly if you will. Until you met Bella that had seemed an unachievable goal. But now…You love her. She loves you. You know more than any of us how the brain changes when you meet your soul mate. You've watched two couples go through the mental… reorientation._

The phenomenon was an intriguing one. When I had met Alice and Jasper they had already balanced themselves with each other, but I had watched Carlisle's mind after he had met Esme, even the first time, and when he had chanced upon her dying the second time, and changed her. His whole focus in life had shifted. He still had his career, his companion (myself), and his dedication to learning, but suddenly a whole new world of possibilities had awakened in him. The same reorientation had happened with Rosalie. Not to the extent that Carlisle had undergone, and perhaps it was her age that had to do with it. Alice and Jasper had seen that shift of attention in me. It did feel as though my world, everything I had previously taken pride in, or cared about, was less important than before. They were still important, but perhaps it could be described as seeing the Earth from space… in one moment, your country is the largest thing imaginable, and in another, in one tiny glimpse through a window, perspective is applied.

"She-" I began, before Alice cut me off mentally

 _Shouldn't have to die. Yeah I heard you the first time. With her luck – honestly – how long do you think she'd actually be able to stay alive? Fires, floods, lightning, cars, trees…_ Images of humans looking remarkably like Bella flashed through her imagination as she listed them, everything from burning in a house to being impaled by a tree branch from a hurricane.

"Enough Alice." I managed as my stomach rolled dizzyingly. I wondered if this was a similar sensation to the one that Bella experienced in cars. Jasper held a flicker of chastisement that he poked towards Alice. He may not know what she was doing, but he knew his wife, and just how dramatic she could be.

 _That is death. This… is a different life._

"And how would her conscience agree with you when she turns into the bloodthirsty monster we all know and love? When she wants nothing more than to murder her best friend to get at her blood?"

"We all adjusted." She said, firmly, her gaze not flinching an iota. Almost all of us had adjusted. Almost all of us had slipped too. And the depression and regret that came with that slip was what tore away at the semblances of humanity we had left in us.

"I do understand where you're coming from." A calm, male voice interrupted. My eyes flicked over to Jasper, his scarred arms held fast on the model he had been carving, his eyes fixed on me. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"She's got some seriously pure emotions. Her regrets, doubts, failings, worries, they're all self-directed. She's not angry at the world, she doesn't expect any more than she should, is pleasantly surprised all the time by the smallest of actions. She's a very calming person to feel. I wouldn't suggest a childlike naivety, because she still holds wisdom and patience. To be honest – her and her friend Angela could be easily compared to Carlisle."

I wasn't sure where he was going with his train of thought, but the addition of one of Bella's best friends to the conversation only gave fire to my thoughts.

"It might destroy Angela, Charlie, Renee, Jacob. Any number of her friends, to lose her." I quipped at Alice.

 _Loss is life. There isn't much about life that is happy and eternal._

 _Except maybe Emmett._ Jasper smiled mentally. It didn't tip my mood.

"I said I understood where you were coming from. Bringing someone so pure and wise into our race would seem a crime. And yet… look what happened with Carlisle. He has saved hundreds, enriched the lives of uncountable numbers of both of our races. He even bartered a treaty with a blood enemy of our race. There isn't much he hasn't managed to conquer in the supernatural world."

"So?"

"So what could Bella's potential be, as a willing participant of the vampire world?"

My mouth closed with a snap. For that I had no answer.

Jasper seemed to sense my shock, and wisely retreated back to his model carving. Alice also decided to busy herself while I stood there. Thankfully I was given an exit, as Carlisle's mind began to enter my awareness. I would discuss it with him.

I retreated from the room of my siblings, who kept both their thoughts and voices to a minimum as I exited the house. The night was dark, and flitted by bioluminescent sparks of yellow, that I would now be unable to ever ignore again. I stood on the front porch, listening to Esme realise that Carlisle was home, as she heard his car pull into the driveway. I was trying to sort out what questions, that I would bombard my father figure with. His car pulled softly into the garage and I walked at a human pace towards it. Carlisle smiled at my approach.

 _Oh dear Edward. Something awry?_

"You could say that."

 _What can I do? Settle a point of debate?_ _Is our family split on a point?_

 _Actually_ , I began signing. _Most of them seem to be against Rosalie and I._

 _An uncommon alliance. Can I make an educated guess as to the subject?_ He thought in response. I looked sardonically at him. _Is it Bella, and her future position as an immortal member of our family?_

 _Is it that obvious?_ I signed.

 _I have only one thing to say on the matter, with the information I have at my disposal._

I was unsurprised he had formulated such an opinion, and yet I was surprised at the dismissive tone of his thoughts. It was a point he had made, and would be unlikely to alter, without ample reason.

 _It is Bella's choice. You must ask her. Ignoring that, or if she denies the lifestyle we struggle to lead…You two are as mentally bonded as any of our couples. And she will die. When she does, you will be much as Marcus became to Aro and Caius. A soul-less shell. It is, in my opinion, a fate worse than death, and you are too proud to let that befall you. Therefore you would die. And it is my opinion that the loss of a child is not something I would be able to take lightly._ His thoughts filled with the nights Esme still shook with silent tears, about her misfortune, her baby, torn from life in tragedy. And then, unexpectedly, his mind filled with the desperate and dying face of my biological mother, begging with her last breath that Carlisle save her only son.

 _I would rather not see either of you die. And that is my thought on the matter._ He approached me, resting his hand on the nape of my neck, as he bent his forehead to rest on mine. And then he was gone.

I stood in the night, surrounded by the random blinks of fireflies, listening with feverish ardency, to the soft heartbeat of the woman I loved, as she slept. **.**


	68. Chapter 68

**Short and Sweet :D Sorry again about everyone who isn't receiving email updates. I went back through most of my reviews to find the people who reviewed regularly and PMd you! Hopefully FF will get this all sorted out and you'll all receive regular notifications.**

I woke up in a confusing daze of green light. After blinking a few times I realised that I was neither at the hospital, nor in my bed, but in Edward's room, at his house. I sat up slowly, searching for Edward. Every night since I'd given him permission to stalk me had resulted in his beautiful smile being the first thing I would see in a day. But upon a cursory glance around the slightly familiar room, I did not find him. I could see him from where I was situated though. He was standing – of all places – in the yard, staring out into the forest. I felt my stomach rumble in anticipation of a meal, and I began to wonder how long I had overslept if the first few thoughts of consciousness had brought hunger. At that exact moment, Edward turned around, to smile up at me. He was soaked in either dew or rain, and was still wearing the clothes I had last seen him in yesterday.

 _What's up?_ I signed at him through the window. He began to step towards the front door, and then halted, a familiar expression on his face that denoted that he was about to get in trouble. Then he instead, back tracked towards his room. We were on the second floor, so I was expecting him to continue past the house and towards the back door, but he halted in front of the windows. He suddenly leapt towards me, looking effortless, as if he had been suddenly pulled up by wires. He landed with an unearthly grace on the very precipice of his window sills. I extracted my way out of bed, and walked over quickly to him. I could see the latch on the window, and after fumbling with it for a few seconds was able to coax the large pane of glass to swing gently outwards. For such a large pane it did actually move remarkably smoothly. Edward stepped in, still perched on the window sill.

"Would you mind grabbing me a towel?" he asked, indicating towards a closet door. I bit my lip slightly and reached up to him, resting my hand on his face. He may as well have been an ice sculpture. Skin of icy wet marble was all that I felt, although it cracked into a smile under my hand.

"I mean, today would be nice." He teased. I stuck my tongue out at him and headed over to the closet, gently pulling out a massive and fluffy bath towel that I brought back to him. He began to dry off with a speed that reminded me much of a cartoon, and then disappeared inside his closet, closing the doors behind him. When he re-emerged, he had donned a new outfit, light khakis and a white t-shirt. His feet remained bare. I looked down at my own bedraggled appearance. I didn't want to look at my hair.

"I have two questions." I announced. Edward came over to me, circling his arms around my hips and pulling me in for a hug.

"Go on." He said in my ear.

"Where did Alice put my bag? I'd like to get changed."

He pulled away so I could see him gesture towards the closet he had just vacated. My bag was indeed, resting on the floor inside. Edward looked back at me.

"Why were you in the garden?" I asked. This time it was his turn to smile.

"Well it started with a conversation with Carlisle… but after that. I just started watching the fireflies."

"You're mocking me?" I asked, unsure. There was no way he'd spent all night in the rain watching fireflies.

"I'm not mocking you. I'd never bothered to watch them before. I managed to keep track of enough of them to determine things like predictable patterns and even personalities." He informed me. Edward had a seriousness about him that made me believe him.

"Told you they were interesting." I shrugged. I hugged him again, as I began to head towards the closet. Edward appeared in front of me.

 _What would you like for breakfast?_ He signed.

"Food." I responded. I hadn't really thought about it yet. Edward laughed and backed away.

"Your wish…" he began. I missed the end part as he turned away, but I knew the expression. I changed into some clean and surprisingly not crumpled clothing before I headed downstairs. I had socks on, as I was mentally refusing to leave footprints all over their house.

Rosalie and Alice were nowhere to be seen. Jasper and Emmett were on a couch, watching some kind of sporting event I'd never seen before. It sort of looked like tennis, but also like volleyball, and most of the players were dark skinned and dark haired, and there was an unfamiliar language displayed across the screen. I blinked, confused.

"What are you watching?" I asked. Emmett waved.

"Sepak takraw." Jasper fingerspelled slowly at me.

"I don't know if you're not familiar with ASL, but that made no sense." I murmured, chuckling.

"Sepak takraw." He spelled, and explained, in a loud voice. "It's Asian kick volleyball."

"We bet on a lot of stuff." Emmett said very clearly, even though his head was directed at the screen.

"Especially in the off seasons of North American sports," a quiet and familiar voice said from my left. I snapped my head around to see Carlisle walking in. He was dressed as casually as his sons today – an unfamiliar sight for me.

"Good morning." I responded.

"Good morning." He nodded his head in response. "I hear that there's an array of food being made for you this morning.

"An array?" I clarified, backing up in horror to the kitchen. Carlisle nodded, a large grin on his face. I turned around, jogging slightly into the other room. Alice, Esme and Edward were present. One was working on eggs and bacon, one was working on French toast, and one was working on a chopped fruit dish. As I opened my mouth to protest, Alice danced over, popping half a chopped strawberry in my mouth.

"Good morning to you too Bella." She laughed as I struggled on the strawberry.

"I can't eat all of this!" I choked out, after I finished the strawberry, pointing at the three concoctions they were creating.

"Well we couldn't decide what you'd like."

"Not even you Alice?" I asked, amazed.

"Well the problem is, you wouldn't pick anything in particular, and said yes to all three options when asked. So…."

"So I have a feeling I'll be putting on a lot of weight when I stay here."

"Entirely possible." Alice said.

I spent the next ten minutes sampling impeccably cooked cuisine in equal portions to be sure I didn't offend anyone, while also feeling insanely stuffed. Everything that was left over I insisted I be able to re-warm for lunch, much to Esme's dismay. I had the sinking suspicion that the Cullen microwave was going to be unavailable around lunch time.

 _Would you like to hike somewhere with me today?_ Edward signed. I looked up at him, skeptically.

"Hiking. Me? You realise how slow I am right?" I asked. I thought I'd feel shy, but I was intently curious instead. Where did he want to take me? What kinds of places had he discovered? A little spark of adventure was creeping up inside me. "Yeah alright. Where are we going?"

Edward smiled. "I'll tell you when we get there."


	69. Chapter 69

Edward and Alice helped me pack a hiking bag, and I was immensely thankful that – although I didn't do much hiking – my running shoes had some excellent grip. Edward packed double the amount of food and water that I would have predicted we would need. He kept quoting "in case someone searches our bag" but also kept saying that the part of the woods we were going to was rarely, if ever, found by humans. It didn't matter really, as Edward would be carrying the bag, and since he had explained to me that Emmett often served as a car jack for Rosalie, I figured he would be comfortable carrying two water bottles instead of one. The weather showed signs of spitting all day, so we wrapped my cast in an extra water resistant layer.

Unfortunately Edward did have to drive us to the spot as well. I kept my mouth shut about it, but my sense of curiosity about our destination was certainly tempered by my stomach doing rolls with every turn Edward took. Once again he showed no sign of being impatient, as if he had accepted that driving five below the speed limit was a permanent fixture in his life. We pulled up to a trail, which gave me a glimmer of hope that I wouldn't fall flat on my face, which was a high possibility especially if we were to be talking during this trip.

We got out of the vehicle, and I began heading towards the trail when Edward showed up instantly in front of me, directing my path elsewhere. The direction he indicated was almost perfectly perpendicular to the trail. It was no wonder it had remained undiscovered. I sighed and signed an expletive, earning a laugh from Edward.

I began trying to tackle the woods around me. It was to be an interesting hiking trip relying on one hand. As we started into the woods, and I traipsed over wet mossy logs, and through ferns, thinking about how much green there was in rainforests. Edward was not trying to show off. He was trying to be helpful in fact. He was keeping mainly twisted either to the side or fully reversed in most cases while traversing the nonsense. He lifted any logs that would cause issues, held back tree limbs so I wouldn't have to with my cast, and caught me promptly if my feet ever failed in the dense sprawl of tree limbs and roots that decorated the ground.

Mostly, I talked. He would ask questions in very loud and clear tones, and wait patiently for my responses. They weren't easy questions either. Most of them involved multiple stories to explain, or details that were lengthy and probably confusingly oriented as I struggled to think, speak, and not fall over. Edward didn't seem to mind. He laughed whole-heartedly at stories I told, looking intently curious when I explained aspects of my life that were unfamiliar to him.

"I'd love for you to meet Renee sometime." I said, slightly out of breath from all the talking I was doing combined with this insane hike.

"She lives in a remarkably sunny city. So I'm afraid I'd be restricted to the confines of very windowless areas." He was practically yelling at me, as my eyes were on my feet as I traversed a particularly twisting tree.

"No you wouldn't." I stated, confused as to the two options he hadn't considered. My foot slid off a root and Edward steadied me. His mouth was very close to my ear now.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I do happen to stand out when the sun appears."

"I _had_ noticed. But I don't know if you've noticed that you have a few marvels at your disposal." I stopped for a moment, watching him to see if he'd figured it out. He stayed silent, looking at me with a slightly furrowed brow. Edward pointed towards our destination and gestured that I should continue.

"Well first of all, with one phone call and a little bit of warning, my mother could visit _us._ " I said, huffing a little as I ducked almost unsuccessfully under a tree and my hair snagged. Edward helped me untangle it, and we continued. "And secondly, Phoenix, and Jacksonville for that matter are incredibly sunny yeah, but they do have their cloudy weekends every once in a while. You happen to have a member of your family that can help to pinpoint some of the most atrocious weather, and send you along in it."

I did not hear a response from him, because I was distracted by something. The dark green forest was definitively lighter ahead. Patchier. Snippets of light were fighting their way through the trees. I looked around for Edward.

"—considered it." I caught.

"Pardon?" I asked quickly.

"I said, I hadn't really thought about it, but before you it was too much of a risk going to those sunny cities even to have considered it."

"Well now you can." I smiled. "Are we nearly there?" I asked, pointing towards the light I could see.

"I was wondering when you'd detect that." He smiled. "Yes. We're close."

I redoubled my effort forward. What was it that we'd spent the better half of a Saturday working our way towards? It was definitely worth the wait. A small clearing, full to the brim with wildflowers and ivy stretched out before me. Even the trees rimming the clearing had flowers on them, as though this little piece of sunshine was a miniature oasis in a sea of dark forestry. I pulled my socks over my pant legs quickly, to avoid any entry points for ticks, and began pushing my way delicately through, avoiding what I could. The leaves of most of the flowers were wet, and my jeans were sopping by the time I stumbled upon a small creek winding through the flowers. I had edged that way because I had seen an opening. I had, naturally, not heard the river. It wasn't until Edward landed like a trapeze artist into the middle of it, drenching both of us in water did I remember that I'd just abandoned him on the edge of the forest to go exploring.

"This place is beautiful." I said, smiling widely at him. "I can see why you're so fond."

"Thank you. I've tried to keep it open, and light. Any tree saplings that threaten to work their way in, I've relocated. A few of the prettier and sturdier ones have even ended up planted around our house." He talked, and signed. It was hard to pay attention though. He looked both comical and beautiful, soaking, and standing in a river, talking excitedly about trees." I carefully found a large-ish rock to sit on, and ran my hand through the icy water.

"It's like your own secret garden?" I asked.

"Yes and no. It isn't much of a secret. My family knows where it is. I've caught their scents crossing here occasionally."

"Well it's a secret from everyone else."

"That it is." He smiled, sitting on the other side of the creek.

"It's your turn." I said. He looked at my confusedly for a moment.

"Well I was talking all the way here, mostly because it was difficult to focus on hearing and walking, but regardless, now that we're here. It's your turn to talk."

He nodded his head agreeably, flexing his fingers in preparation for whatever drilling I was about to do.

And talk we did.

He had never had any pets that he could remember, and most were scared of him now. He joked that it was only that fact that had prevented Carlisle from studying in veterinary school. Then I inquired about what education he had, and he began telling me about the languages he could speak, the sports he could play, the music he composed, the schools and specialized courses he had attended. We talked until I noticed that his face was in shadow. The sun was setting somewhere to his back. I frantically looked behind me into the trees and saw that our path back looked darker and more sinister. I snapped my head back to Edward who seemed curious as to why I was perturbed.

"It's getting dark out. I need to get home." I stood up, stretching out my legs and my slightly numb rear when Edward stood up and stepped effortlessly over the river.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to offer you a ride. We'll take it slow, but I have more confidence in my ability to traverse the woods."

"Offer me a ride?" I asked tentatively.

"A piggyback ride, as they call it." He asked. He was looking intently into my eyes. How could I not trust him? My rational mind was telling me to do it. My irrational mind was remembering flopping around like a ragdoll beside James, and the awful stomach-wrenching feeling of movement. I closed my eyes and breathed out sharply.

"Yeah. Great. I'm good." I opened my eyes to see Edward shaking his head.

"We can walk back. I'm sorry I suggested it." He smiled patiently at me, toying with a lock of my hair.

"Oh no you don't. I'm not very good at hiking in the daytime, let alone during the night. Plus I'm more likely to get bitten." I sighed.

Edward recoiled in mock horror. "I would never!" he pretended to be offended. It got a smirk from me.

"By bugs. You irritating creature." I shook myself out and stepped away from him a little. "Okay. I'm ready."

He turned around, dropping to his knees. I grabbed our hiking pack, putting it onto my back. Edward could certainly carry the both of us. I stepped forward very slowly, locking my arms around his neck. I took a steadying breath, and ended up filling my nose with the scent of his glorious hair. I could do this. Edward would never let me fall. I grabbed my arms tighter, worried about putting too much pressure on Edward's neck, scoffed mentally at myself for worrying that I could hurt Mr. Immortal in front of me, and then swung my legs up and locked them around his waist. He moved his arms immediately to support my thighs, and it felt as though I was sitting on a chair. He stood slowly as I buried my face in the back of his neck. I heard, and felt a soft murmur. Probably of reassurance, or question as to if I was okay.

"Just go." I managed.

And he walked.


	70. Chapter 70

We got back at around 6:30. A hike that had taken me four hours, had taken Edward – even with me as a backpack – only two. His walking speed had slowly increased as I had become more comfortable with the strange method of travel. When my stomach stopped rolling and the hairs on my neck finally settled down, that was when Edward normally took it upon himself to increase his speed. He was probably listening to my heartbeat and adjusting appropriately. I was just trying not to think about dying, and remember fun piggyback rides as a child, with Charlie.

When we finally got back to the car, Edward slowly drove us, straight to my house, explaining that Alice had already run my things up to my room at home. When Edward pulled into the driveway he made no move to exit the vehicle.

"You aren't coming in?" I asked, hope ringing through my voice. It earned a smile from Edward.

"Of course I will, but let's not push Charlie too much further today. I'll be back when you're in bed." His hand reached forward to brush some hair away from my face. I leaned into it slightly.

"Okay then. I'll see you later." I made to leave the car and then hesitated. I leaned back towards him, ignoring the pressure I had to put on the casted hand to do so, and kissed him. As soon as he realised my intentions he relaxed into the kiss, and it took my head spinning for me to pull away. Edward's eyes were closed, and when he opened them, they were excited. It was hard to tell if he was hungry, or aroused. I bit my lip, smiling to myself, as I left the car, heading out to my front door. I didn't look back as I entered the front door.

Charlie was indeed a little worried, but after I told him about my night of pampering, breakfast opportunities and the 'short' hike to a wildflower meadow, he seemed much appeased. I even informed him that I'd be spending the rest of the weekend in my room, cleaning the house, and doing laundry.

"I'm all caught up on homework thanks to Edward and Angela, so all I have left to do is clean really."

Charlie seemed to consider that for a minute.

"What's the matter?" I said and signed. He bit his lower lip, jutting out his chin as he did so.

"Would you mind if I wasn't really here tomorrow?"

"Still helping Sue with the shop?" I asked, Charlie blushed slightly.

"Well… I mean Billy and I did say we would."

"You went fishing yesterday didn't you?" I laughed. Charlie stood up a little taller.

"It was Sue's idea. We just got a little carried away. She's had all the La Push kids over there anyway, moving the smaller stuff."

"And now you're going back over tomorrow to help with whatever it was you didn't do yesterday?" I clarified. He nodded.

"Why does it feel like I'm the parent giving you permission to go?" I shook my head.

"You were always too grown up Bells." Charlie laughed. "So can I go?" he mocked.

"Yes, okay. Go play tomorrow. But stay out of trouble." I laughed.

Charlie settled down to watch some TV, and I cooked myself some ravioli from a can. It was a far cry from the Cullen's food, but I was too lazy tonight to do much else. I loaded it in parmesan cheese, and carried the bowl to my room. When I opened the door I nearly dropped my food. Edward was slumped on my bed, reading.

"Holy…" I whispered.

 _Sorry._ He signed, putting the book down. It was one of mine, a collection of classics. I went over to the bed, handing him my food to hold while I got myself comfortable. He turned his nose up at the offensive looking dish, but made no comment.

I snuggled up against him, knowing it would limit his talking ability, but also not wanting to be bombarded with questions until I was finished the food. I tried to eat quickly, conscious of how gross it must be to watch me eat, and when I was over half done, I stopped, placing the bowl to the side of my bed and snuggling up to him again. He pulled his phone from his pocket, opening a notebook application. His fingers whizzed across the keyboard and text flashed across the screen.

 _Satisfying?_

"What? Dinner?" I asked in a whisper.

 _Of course._

"Yeah. Food is food. It was a little salty, but smother it in cheese, and you're golden."

 _It smells disgusting to me._

"What you eat smells disgusting to me." I pointed out. "Plus – it's kind of boring." I felt his body stiffen underneath me, and he hesitated before typing something.

 _Explain that please?_

"You get awfully uncomfortable sometimes. Mostly when I'm unpredictable I guess, isn't it?"

 _Yes. If I had insight into the connections your brain made I don't think I'd be so disoriented when you come out with strange sayings. Would you mind explaining how my food is boring? Hunting live animals and drinking their blood isn't exciting enough for you?_

"Well if you put it like that, sure. But other than that. I mean… half the fun of food is experimenting with things. Have you ever made – I don't know – ice cream? Or snow cones I guess, out of blood? Do different creatures offer different textures? To me – it would feel a lot like eating smoothies every meal of every day. Don't you miss a little crunch?"

Edward's chest shook beneath me as he laughed.

 _Well if you put it like that… it is a little like eating smoothies every day. But becoming a vampire re-wires you. Suddenly smoothies are your favourite food, so getting to have them every day, is the fun part. However the animal diet is rather lack-lustre in comparison._

"Comparison to people? Or comparison to human food?"

Edward stiffened under me again, and did not answer. That, in itself, was enough of an answer.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to push. I know you don't like talking about that side of yourselves."

 _It's not so much that… we don't often have people to explain that side of ourselves to. Most of our kind are more interested in how we_ don't _hunt people, instead of when we slip up._

"Have there been many slip ups?" I asked.

 _You want to know how many people I've murdered?_ He asked. I sat up, looking him dead in the eyes. His face was cold, calculating.

"No. That's not what I meant." I whispered harshly at him. "I was asking how difficult it is, or might be… I mean. If one day, maybe…" I ran out of steam mid thought. "It doesn't matter."

Edward switched to signing.

 _Only Carlisle has a perfect record. Rosalie's is second best. I'm second worst. It's a grueling life. Hard. Tiring. Unceasing thirst, or unending guilt. The lesser of two evils sounds simple on paper, but is excruciating at times in practice. It is not a life any of us would have chosen for ourselves._

"Without that life, Esme would have never met Carlisle. Alice would have wasted away in a mental asylum. Emmett would've been mauled alive by a bear. I don't know the other's stories, but I'm assuming they aren't any better."

 _That's exactly my point though. For every one of us, death was a welcome friend. But you…_ He motioned vaguely into the air.

"I'm not escaping anything horrific enough. Is that what you're saying? You would prefer me to have some cataclysmically life-changing and horrifying event before you'd consider letting me stay with you forever? Love isn't enough of a reason to keep me around?" I whispered, the bitterness sweeping through my short breaths. I turned away from him for a moment, grabbing my bowl of food, and angry eating a few mouthfuls. If I couldn't talk, I wouldn't say anything else damning, or hurtful. I felt the bed shift with his weight, and looked around at him.

 _You love me?_

"I thought that was obvious." I said. "I guess I can't speak for you-" I began, but was immediately cut off by my lips meeting hard, cold ones. I kissed him back, willingly, as it was normally myself instigating kisses. When he pulled away he looked happy and I was thoroughly confused. We had been having a very dark conversation.

 _I love you too, Bella._

I was filled with warm flurries, and I felt my cheeks fill with heat. I saw a light flick on in the hallway, and turned to look at it, and when I looked back, Edward was gone. I pinned open the book he had left on my bed, just in time, as my door cracked open further.

"Dishes?" Charlie asked. I gave him my bowl.

"Uh, thanks Dad."

"You okay kiddo? You look kinda flushed."

"Yeah. Just exhausted from today. I think I need some sleep." I lied. Charlie ruffled my hair, and moved off, closing the door behind him. I saw a flicker of movement in my closet, and saw Edward, reappearing, smiling. He came to settle down beside me on the bed.

 _You really should get some rest. We can continue this talk tomorrow._ He signed. I rolled my eyes at him, throwing my bedsheet over his head. I knew he'd stay under it, as I changed into some pyjamas. When I was done, I came back to the bed, uncovering him, and tucking up beside him, ready to sleep.

"If you get bored, feel free to go murder something." I yawned. I felt the disapproving gaze, but snuggled into his chest anyway. His cold hands traced relaxing patterns on my arms, and I drifted into a dreamless sleep, smelling sweetness, and feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.


	71. Chapter 71

I awoke because my shoulder was tingling and my nose was cold. When I opened my eyes I realised that my nose was tucked into the crook of Edward's bare arm, explaining the coldness, and I was laying awkwardly on my arm. I sighed, and rotated as carefully as I could, still banging my cast off of things. I heard an indistinguishable murmur.

"Huh?" I asked into his shirt. The chest beneath me shook with laughter, and a phone screen appeared in front of my face. I blinked a few times before reading the text.

 _Good morning. Did you sleep well? You seem cold._

"My nose is cold." I admitted. "I think I slept well. My shoulder is a little tingly."

His fingers flashed in a blur as he typed more.

 _Charlie left already. Would you like me to start breakfast?_

"Yeah I guess." I yawned. "Just something small though." I started to sit up, and stretched a little. I was definitely stiff from yesterday's hike. Edward stroked my hair, gently, smiling at me, and then disappeared. I decided to hit the shower, and get dressed in comfy clothes for my cleaning day. When I got downstairs I was greeted to a cheesy omelette.

"I'm definitely going to get fat."

"You're the most beautiful thing in my world." Edward responded. "And always will be."

I ate most of the omelette, while Edward watched me in fascination.

"I still think you should be more adventurous with your food." I said, revisiting our last night's conversation.

"I don't think blood would sautee well. I'm willing to give it a go if you're up for it." Edward said, his eyes darkening and his mouth twisting into a chilling smirk. My heart skipped a beat.

"Go ahead." I dared, raising my eyebrow at him. Edward's eyes were unmovingly focused on my face, and his breathing had stopped. I paused too. The tension in the air could have been cut with a knife. Edward was the first to break, surprisingly.

"On an unrelated note, I am at your disposal today. I've decided to be your personal servant."

I took the bait, as that was awfully intriging.

"What? Why?"

"You said you were doing a cleaning day today. I'm at your disposal."

An image of Edward in a pink apron and yellow gloves flashed through my mind. As comical as it was, it also seemed really wrong.

"Um, I don't really need any help," I started, but was halted by Edward appearing at my side.

"Please Bella. Don't insult my intelligence, or my willingness to assist. I want to help, I can speed things up immensely while also providing eye candy."

I scrunched up my nose. It would be nice to have more of the day to relax.

"What can I start with?" He asked. "Laundry?"

"Oh no. There's no way you're rifling through my dirty clothing. That's my job." I dismissed instantly.

"Vacuuming then?" he offered.

I sighed. He would be ridiculously persistent. "Fine."

Edward immediately disappeared. "But only that!" I yelled after him. I ran upstairs after him, grabbing my laundry, bed sheets, and the bathroom towels, and shoving them into a ridiculously over-filled basket. I was about to haul it downstairs when it disappeared.

"Motherfu-" I began, but was interrupted by a reappearance of Edward and a quick chaste kiss, before he disappeared again. I went to the washer, and thankfully he had left the basket by the machine. I sorted through it all and put the first load in. I started to head upstairs again, only to be surprised by Edward appearing in front of me. He was winding the wire on the vaccuum.

"Done this floor?" I asked.

"Done the house." He responded, smiling. "Our chores day at our house is more of a chores hour."

"Jeeeeez." I shook my head. "And you think being a vampire is a bad thing."

Edward's face fell again.

"It isn't as glamorous at it appears."

"Well other than diet, and a stupid lack of sleep you haven't pushed me away yet." I smiled, pausing on the stairs.

"The guilt, the thirst, the soul-stealing existence, the lack of sun light, territoriality and brutality as overriding instincts, the inability to live anywhere for an extended period, the inability to have children, or raise families…" he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Territoriality and brutality? Your family is hardly leaking that out of every orifice." I pointed out. "And there are humans who spend their entire lives hopping around between houses. I'm one of them, in case you hadn't noticed."

"And a family Bella?" he asked, his eyes blazing with an intensity I had never seen before.

Now it was my turn for a bitter laugh. "I have enough of a family, I've been looking after Renee and Charlie since I was three."

"Jokes aside Bella." Edward said quickly, almost before I was finished. His eyes were filled with sadness. "I can never give you a family Bella. Perhaps you're too young to want that yet…"

Did he not know? Did he not know the full extent of just how messed up my body had been?

"Edward I had to come to terms with the inability to have children a long time ago."

This stopped him for a moment, his eyebrows meeting in a frown.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"You really haven't looked through my medical file? Even though you have access to your father's head, and he was reading my file in the hospital?" I asked, bemused. It was almost mind-boggling to think about. Edward looked, if anything, more confused. His mouth opened and closed once, before his frown deepened.

"My car accident," I began. "My femur snapped when the car rolled. And the force, I mean…" I paused to take a deep breath. "My splintered femur ended up puncturing into my uterus and through one of my ovaries. It was easier for them to do a hysterectomy than to try and sew everything back together with all the other internal issues I had going on."

My voice felt quiet. I certainly couldn't hear it, but I wondered if it was the embarrassed blossom of blood pounding in my ears. "At sixteen I was forced to come to the realisation that I would never have children."

Edward approached me slowly, holding his hand out towards mine. I linked figers with him, watching my hand.

"If anything, I was expecting to be the bearer of bad news in a relationship one day. The fact that _we_ can't have children is sort of a massive relief." I kept looking at my pale fingers, entwined with his paler ones. "So that's everything I guess. I have no more secrets. That's all."

Edward's hand moved toward my face, bringing mine with him. He pressed my palm against my cheek, and I forced my eyes to meet his.

"Thank you for telling me."

"I'm kind of glad that we're on even footing in some respects. We can't read each other's minds, we both can't have children. It almost makes up for the whole speed, strength, super-hearing thing." I smiled kindly at him.

"Hardly."

"Well, regardless. Are you done the whole list of chores I had set aside?" I asked.

"There was a list?" he looked confused.

"Not this week, but I figured since you stalk me so well, you'd know the drill."

"Very funny." He signed, and kissed me.


	72. Chapter 72

My Sunday was spent relaxing with Edward, and he left early on Monday morning to go home and change. Angela had very thoughtfully texted me mid-afternoon on Sunday, asking whether I would like a ride to school in the morning. I figured it would be a good time to catch up with her, and she – unlike Edward – wouldn't be able to detect just how terrified I was in cars. While I waited outside in the rain, I studied the damp greenery around me.

I had never truly loved Forks, but now it had become the location of some of the most critical events in my life. The endless green I had viewed before seemed more like a spectrum of life, and the rain was something that brought movement, freshness, and energy to the quiet town. Yesterday Edward had described the growth of the trees, or the fall of giants that he had noticed upon his return to Forks. He had been open and honest, describing scenery, houses, and even people (like Angela's grandfather). I had asked him if he knew any of Jacob's family, as his people had lived here for generations.

"I did know his grandfather yes." He answered carefully. "And a few of the other young males you've described sound like descendants of individuals I knew. But the elders of the Quileute tribe didn't trust our kind. They knew what we were and preferred we keep our distance, and a pact of secrecy." His eyes glazed over, before he changed the subject with a smile. "You know… there are less wolves around Forks now I think of it."

I had decided not to push him on the subject. Although Edward didn't seem the type to usually blend with people, I wondered if he did feel connected to some of them. He was in their brains so often that perhaps, even stoic as he was, he did get attached. I had slipped into daydreams about my future, if I were to become like Edward, and having to say goodbye to my parents. Renee would be okay – she had Phil now, and he was doing a stand up job of taking care of her, but Charlie… he'd been on his own for so long, that I wondered if he could ever find happiness. A wave had interrupted my thought stream.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Charlie." I answered honestly. "I wonder if he'll be obliging of my plans to head to La Push."

Edward frowned.

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"I've only been back really for one night."

"Well he should be alright with it. He seems to have a particular fondness for Jacob."

"Jacob and I grew up together during the summers I spent here." I had reminded Edward.

"To see you then… would have been fascinating. Perhaps one day I'll ask him about you as a child. See some of his favourite memories of you."

"Oh god please don't." I hadn't managed to shake the blush after that. Thinking about being embarrassing as a child, running around naked in the summer, my million accidents. I needed none of that in Edward's nearly infallible memory.

A flash of headlights brought me back to the present. Angela had pulled up on my driveway. I waved to her and made my way awkwardly to the car, bumping into the side mirror as I rounded the door.

"Good morning!" I smiled at her, when I got in. I buckled my seatbelt instantly, and began to think desperately about anything other than being driven somewhere. She talked very loudly about Ben, and how close they'd gotten in my absence.

"I hope you don't mind that he sits with us now at lunch?" she asked, worried, as I'd been quite quiet.

"Not at all Angela." I smiled reassuringly, trying to unclasp my hand from the seatbelt and relax a little. "I'm really happy you found someone too."

We were quiet for the rest of the trip, until we pulled into the school and headed to our first class. We only had a few more weeks of school, and so I shouldn't have been surprised, but I still was absolutely confused by Angela's next question.

"Are you coming to -" I missed the last word. I blinked at her.

 _Prom_. She fingerspelled. I still blinked at her. Finally she spun me around and pointed to a cheesy looking poster, which listed the upcoming date, the word 'PROM' spelled out very largely and clearly.

"Oh." I said, slightly shocked. "I guess I hadn't really thought about it. I don't really do music, so I don't really do dances. Plus, in my old school, only the graduating class went to prom."

Angela's eyes widened and she laughed a little. "I guess that makes sense if your school is large enough. But ours isn't, so we all get to go every year."

"Well I'm not really a fan of dancing to music I can't hear. Plus it gets dark, and I can't read anyone anymore." I muttered at her. She nodded understanding.

"I guess it would be sort of like being blind and deaf." She mused. Some people just really got it. I smiled at her, and looked around, out into the pouring rain of the Forks High parking lot. Edward's car pulled into the school, his family loaded in as usual. I waved shyly back at an enthusiastic Alice. Angela tapped me on the shoulder.

"Bell." She said, indicating the direction towards class. Half of me wondered if I should wait for Edward, but regardless, I'd see him at lunch, and I did not want to be late on my first day back in ages.

School was school. I got asked the same few questions in each class, mostly by the teachers who didn't converse or care to listen to the student body already passing around the information. I bumped into Edward between almost every class, and he actually suggested we sit with Angela and Ben (where we were then joined by an enchanted looking Jessica and an annoyed looking Mike). The day went by very normally. Having both Edward and Angela in on my secret, I was hardly lost in the conversation. One of them would catch me up if I missed even the slightest thing. It was refreshingly fun. I felt almost normal.

I told Edward that I was going to see Jacob after school, especially since Angela had agreed to be my ride there.

"And how will you be returning?" he asked casually.

"Please. Charlie will more than likely be there anyway. Jacob has a car, Billy has a car…" I began to list.

"Alright, I understand!" he chuckled. "I'll be there when you get back."

"I would have been surprised if you weren't. But please, don't wait around for me. Go hunting or something."

"Perhaps." Edward smiled.

I kissed him chastely before I followed Angela to my afternoon classes. The rest of my school day was much like the first half, except that I didn't have to participate during gym. I wondered if I could get Carlisle to keep wrapping my wrist even without injury. Any excuse for getting out of gym.

Angela and I got into her car at the end of the day and I began directing her to Jacob's house in La Push. Her uncertainty with the destination made her a little more cautious than normal, and it helped slightly with my nerves that she was driving so slowly. As soon as she pulled up I thanked her, and she took off again. I knew that unlike last time, this time Jacob had no idea I was coming – Angela's car was much quieter than my awful tank of a truck.

I waved Angela away, and walked slowly towards the familiar front door. I knocked, what I hoped was loudly, and waited. Billy answered the door, awkwardly and slowly. He looked more shocked than happy.

"Bella!" he cried. "How you doing kiddo? Here to see Jake?" he asked.

"Yeah. He around?"

"You beat him home." He started, while backing into the hallway so I could step in out of the cold. "I'm actually glad you're here. I'd like to talk with you."

My breath caught as I looked at him. I remained silent, waiting for the conversation to continue.

"You've been spending a lot of time with the Cullen's lately."

"Yes." I interrupted, unphased. This seemed like a continuation of the conversation that I had asked Jacob to drop. Apparently either Billy hadn't gotten the message I'd sent along with Jake, or he wasn't as eager to quit testing boundaries.

"I don't think you realise the extent of how dangerous they are."

"I don't think you realise the extent of their self control and compassion." I retorted. "Trust me when I say I am fully aware how dangerous you think they are, hypothetically speaking of course. You have nothing to worry about. They've saved my life far more times than they've threatened it."

For a moment I thought I had the winning ground, but I could see his eyes glinting dangerously.

"And how do you think Charlie would feel if he knew the truth about your situation?" his booming voice was heavy and rumbling, like the growl of a large animal. I could see him being very intimidating in his prime. Hell he was still intimidating now. This time though, I did have the upper ground.

"From what I understand, you and Charlie nearly fell out permanently the last time you brought the Cullens up to him. Something about the res kids not going to the hospital anymore? You really want to re-open that wound?" I signed the word 'wound', as it was a physical representation of a gouge into the flesh. I wasn't much for psychology, but there were some signs that made an impact on people. I saw Billy's chest heave with a torrential sigh. The fight, if not won, was at least a draw for now.

"Jacob will be home soon." He turned away, and I just caught the word 'garage'.

"I'll wait for him there then." I said, backing away. I paused a moment. "Thank you for being concerned Billy. But I promise you, I'm safe."

I only saw the back of his head shake slightly as he rounded a corner. I bit my lip as I turned around, closing the door after me. I headed into Jacob's garage. His car was there, and I decided to wait inside the shelter, just in case it rained more. I wasn't alone for two minutes before I had the living daylights scared out of me. Jacob hugged me from behind, causing me to scream in shock. I wasn't expecting to not hear him at all, or perhaps I wasn't expecting to have him appear so suddenly. Either way I was glad to see him.

"Careful of the shoulder Jake." I warned as he let go. I rolled it slightly. "You wanna put me back in hospital?"

"Nah." he said. "You'll manage it soon enough."

"Ouch." I responded. It was great to be back.


	73. Chapter 73

Jake and I spent a long time talking, relaxing, and just being. I was sitting in the Rabbit while he worked on some engine parts that were lying around. He tried explaining to me, but since the terms were unfamiliar to me, he ended up fingerspelling most of them to be sure I got them right, and that took so much time away from him that I thought I was inconveniencing him. He started talking about his friends, Quil, Embry, and his enemies, Paul and Jared, and his whole dynamic and childhood growing up with them. Then he started to get closer to the present and his mood started to shift into a negative one. So I talked about me. I talked a little about my life, and how I'd almost forgotten Jacob's existence until I came back to Forks. I talked with him about plans for the summer, or lack thereof, and my general dislike of things like dances and clubs and the lack of good bookstore anywhere near Forks.

"You should come to the res school some day. We've got tons of books I can guarantee you haven't seen." Jacob remarked casually. "Tribal histories, biographies, stories, things like that. You might like it.

I considered it for a moment. That would be incredible, certainly an avenue I hadn't pursued before, and possibly even an avenue that I would have more information on than even Edward. It was unlikely that Edward and Carlisle, even as well read as they were, would have access to those kinds of books.

"As long as you won't get in trouble or anything."

"Bella you're technically in the chief's inner circle." He laughed. "My great grandfather took over being the chief of the tribe a while back. My dad's the current head, and one day it'll be me I guess."

"That's cool Jake. You've got something to look forward to."

"Or pressure to live up to." He scowled, his mood suddenly darkening. I sensed that this wasn't so much about us anymore.

"How is the friend situation going?" I asked.

"They keep.." he stopped, running his hands through his long hair. The engine grease that coated his hands was indistinguishable against his coal black locks. He looked up to the plastic ceiling of the garage and heaved a hefty sigh. I stayed silent. He could talk on his own time without assistance.

"They keep looking at me." He explained lamely.

"Are they not supposed to?" I asked, confused.

"No I mean. They look at me differently. Like they're waiting for something. To be honest it seems as though they're all treading on eggshells and waiting for me to break down and go crazy."

I frowned slightly at him. I wasn't going to insult his intelligence and tell him he was imagining it. There had to be something going on. I just wasn't sure how to approach it, how to give advice, about a situation you had limited facts about.

"They aren't.." I started, and hushed myself. Jacob looked at me curiously. "I was wondering if they might be mad at you for spending time with me?"

It sounded stupid aloud, but I also knew about how his tribe felt around the Cullens, and how I was now the closest person to those individuals.

"Nah. I did think about that actually. But I don't think so. Sam started acting like this way before you showed up. The rest are kinda following him."

I felt a little relieved, and then selfish, and so I chastised myself mentally for making it about me. This was Jacob's worry. Jacob's friends, that he had described in great depth to me for the last hour. That he felt were abandoning him. Changing.

I started to talk again when he held up his hand in abeyance. I waited. Jacob's head suddenly turned toward the house.

"My dad's calling me back for dinner, and he says you're invited too."

I signed an affirmative and he yelled back. The way Charlie and Billy chatted, undoubtedly Charlie would either already know I was here, or know shortly. I would in fact be surprised if he didn't join us for dinner.

The evening went fine. Things seemed a little tense between Billy and I, but most people could easily write it off as the awkwardness of the generation gap. Most people. I knew that I would be infinitely glad for the reprieve of my own house. There was also some tension between the Black boys. I would guess that Jacob had talked to his dad about his problems, and Billy had been either unsupportive or dismissive. Either way, dinner was fast. Charlie did indeed show up, just as we were putting plates away, so we put his one into the microwave. Jacob then beckoned me into his room, where he rifled through a few of his bookshelves to find something for me.

"Here. This could get you started. It's a little dull, but kind of cool too." He pressed a book into my hand. It was a thin text, a history of the Quileute lands. I smiled up at him, signing a thank you. I blinked for a moment.

"Did you get taller?" I asked. He seemed to tower even further over me than before. The growth spurts this kid was going through.

"Yeah a little." He shrugged. "I eat a lot of broccoli."

He slumped on his bed, which was starting to look too short for him, while I flipped through the pages of the unfamiliar textbook. There were hand drawn maps and other such beauties in here. Even a picture of a man who looked strikingly like Jacob. Ephriam Black. He had a beautiful wolf tattoo on his shoulder, and the proud stance of a chief. I looked back at Jacob, to ask about him, and realised that as he had lay there, he had promptly fallen asleep. I blinked in surprise at him, and then smiled and exited quietly. With all the stress in his life – financial, disabled father, estranged friends, regular teenagerhood, and tribal pressure – it was no wonder that he had fallen asleep.

I explained the situation to Charlie, and he got up to drive us home. I clutched the book to my chest for dear life as we drove back. Letting someone else drive me in the dark and in the rain was wholly not ideal. Thankfully we passed only two cars on the entire journey, and I shut my eyes for both of them.

When we got inside I headed straight for the shower, washing off any accidental car grease I had on me, as well as the leftover spaghetti sauce, and the day's worries. Edward would undoubtedly be arriving soon, and we would relax together. When I entered my room, I found a small paper note folded on my bed. I cracked it open.

 _May I come in?_ Was lavishly scrawled across the paper. A writing that I could maybe copy with a computer.

"Duh." I laughed quietly. "I thought you weren't the cliché vamp, needing permission to enter residences."

My window slid open, and a slightly wet Edward slipped in.

 _I'm not. But it doesn't hurt to ask anyway._ He signed. He slid his shirt off, revealing a tank top that was bone dry, and clung to him in all the right places. I bit my lip.

"Oh it's _that_ kind of night is it?" I joked. "You should have warned me, I would have shaved." I flung myself onto my bed in a similar manner to Jacob, and watched as Edward froze.

 _I thought a dry shirt would be nicer for you. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression._

"It's fine." I whispered. "I wasn't exactly expecting to get laid with my dad asleep in the adjacent room. Plus I hope you'd wait for a special occasion. Like prom. Or a birthday. Or at least wait until I'm totally healthy." I waved my obnoxious cast around arduously.

Edward remained standing, his frown now worrying me.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I'm curious about something." He began, and then faltered. What was… oh.

"Uh, if you're wondering about my, exploits, of the past," I informed him delicately. "I'm sorry to say I've led a rather uneventful life. Between going in and out of hospitals since I was born, and the car accident, the only thing that's been 'in my pants' so to speak, is a team of doctors and surgeons."

Edward shook his head at my frank tone.

"I have also led a fruitfully uneventful life. Although between the mental images of all of my siblings combined I can promise you that if we do progress to a physical relationship, it should be quite the event." He smiled. I hid my blush in my pillow, and stayed like that until he came to cuddle me to sleep.

There were images in my mind I was thoroughly glad Edward could not see, as I drifted off into a rather _warm_ sleep.


	74. Chapter 74

The rest of the school week was uneventful. The entire school body wanted nothing more than to go to prom, and I had made it abundantly clear to Edward that I would not be going. I told him that if he really wanted, he could kidnap me away to the meadow, or something similar, but prom wasn't on my bucket list any time soon. I was appropriately excited and helpful for Angela and Jessica though, and assisted them with eager tips wherever I could. I was very glad when both prom was over and the school year was coming to a close.

When I finally had my cast off I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to safe guard my arm any more that I hugged Carlisle. Watching him remove my cast had been surreal. He had simply pinched at the encasing plaster and it had crumbled beneath his fingers as if he had constructed a cast of wet sand. That was not the only amazing thing to happen on that day.

I sat stretching out my hand, scratching the free skin. I was facing Carlisle, sitting at a seat around their dining room table. Esme was giving me a gentle and totally appreciated but unnecessary shoulder massage. I had been telling them about the worst cast I had ever had to endure – one that wrapped up most of my leg and part of my hip – when Edward appeared beside Carlisle, Alice at his side, looking remarkably pleased with herself.

"Hi." I said, although I was relatively sure it came out more as a question than a statement.

 _We have a birthday present for you._ Alice signed. I blinked at her, confused.

"Um, it's not my birthday until September." I said, wondering how on earth the little psychic could have possibly missed that fact.

 _I know._ She signed sarcastically, with a smile. _But I have a limited set of conditions to work with._

"What?" I asked, looking over to Edward, hoping he would shed a little light on the situation.

 _Oh no. This is all Alice._ He signed, laughing at my confused expression.

"Well basically…. Edward told me about your conversation about visiting your mother."

"She lives in Phoenix." I said. "It's pretty sunny there, so unless Edward's going to go in a burqa?"

The three Cullens in front of me shook with gentle laughter, before Alice rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Yessssss. Which is why your present is so unfashionably early." She explained. "There's some awful inbound clouds that will bring a solid three day overcast period, but only one short shower."

My heart skipped a beat. _You serious?_ I signed.

"Completely. It'll even be a Friday morning when you can fly in. Unfortunately it's in the middle of June, which is a tad early for your birthday. Perhaps we should call it a graduation present instead?"

I stood up too quickly, and flung myself into Alice in excitement. She hugged me, shaking with laughter, and then passed me off to Edward.

"You're going to meet my mom?" I asked.

"I'm going to meet your mom." He affirmed, pulling back to be sure I understood properly.

"I'll have to call her." My mind was suddenly filled with possibility. I could show Edward how I'd grown up, where the other half of my life had occurred. For once, I'd be the tour guide. It was definitely a place he hadn't been. Nothing I showed him he could have seen before, so for once, I would have an upper hand. Plus I knew that my mother would absolutely love having me home, and go crazy to have the chance at meeting Edward so soon.

Alice produced a piece of paper with a whole pack of details about a flight, and I fumbled for my phone. I checked my watch, to try and figure out where my mom might even be at this time, and video called her. When I looked back up at the room, Edward and I were the only inhabitants. I grinned at him, fiddling with my hair while I waited for Renee to pick up. There was a slight delay, and then the call accepted. At first I couldn't really see her, and then she switched on a light to throw herself into better video clarity.

"Hi mom." I said. "I have news."

 _Don't tell me… you've taught Charlie how to cook?_ She signed.

"Now that would be news. I'm sorry to say that it's not that good. Unfortunately all I have to say is that Edward and I will be coming to visit you in June."

There was some absolutely incomprehensible squealing on the other end, and my mother's face shot in and out of view as she readjusted the screen. I trusted Edward to tell me if anything actually legible or important came through. She finally began blabbing about everything we could do, and plans we could make, and where we could go. What I missed because of pixelated lag, Edward filled in for me. It was a short and excited conversation, and yet my face was sore from smiling so enthusiastically at my mother's excitement. I hugged Edward for a brief moment, and then asked him the most important question.

"So what exactly are you looking forward to most?"

"Listening to your mother's thoughts." He responded quite quickly. "Especially when I ask her to recall some baby stories."

"Oh god no. Please don't."

"I am always interested in learning as much about you as possible. This offers me an opportunity I would never have been able to have. I'm interested in what _you_ think I should see too. I've shown you my favourite parts of Forks, I cannot wait for your favourite parts of Phoenix." He brushed my hair away from my face, smiling.

"Why did you start looking at coming to Phoenix?" I asked.

"To be perfectly honest?" he responded. I frowned at him.

"Always."

"Because I was missing out on the opportunity to take you to prom." He laughed.

"Prom?" I sneered. "Seriously?"

"I've always wanted to take a girl to a dance." Edward shrugged. "Especially someone I loved as much as you."

I blushed and beamed but managed to roll my eyes. "Maybe if you're nice enough, I'll let you take me to prom next year."

His brow furrowed slightly. "You don't have to."

"I can't dance. And I can't see."

"I'll make sure Alice is on the decorating committee. She'll ensure the venue is beautifully lit."

His eyes were so sincere about this idea that I had to cave.

"Okayyyyy. I'll let you take me to prom next year." I laughed. "I still can't dance."

Edward pulled me close, lifting me gently to rest my feet on top of his. He spun slowly in place, we danced across the living room gracefully. He guided me into the larger entrance-way, and we span around. My vision was filled with green scenery and white architectural flashes. All I had to do was let Charlie know where I was headed. Whether I told him that Edward was coming too was a different story.

When the big trip finally came around Charlie was driving both Edward and I to the airport, looking less than enthused about the trip. Initially he had been excited, but the addition of my boyfriend, and my mother's scatterbrained reputation had Charlie a little understandably wary. Edward sat in the back of the cruiser, smiling at the mental images running through my father's head. Undoubtedly he was imagining arresting Edward and locking me into a room somewhere forever. I tried to focus on those positive thoughts instead of the negativity that was being a passenger again. I wasn't exactly looking forward to the plane ride either, but with Edward at my side I knew I would be as safe as I possibly could. With Edward, and Alice only a phone call away, sometimes I felt practically invulnerable.


	75. Chapter 75

I showed Edward everything about my home town that I could think of. Everything from where I used to dance (quite terribly) as a kid, to my school hangout spots, and the hospital I frequented most. We couldn't exactly walk into my school, with the massive chain link fences and security, but I did point out what I could. He even said that the people inside were showing him brief views of what it was like.

He seemed absolutely entranced by even the ordinary things I was showing him. Edward took the most delight in my old home however, the collection of pictures my mother had, my eclectic room stacked to the brim with books, even our half-finished house renovations. There was a lot of room in the house where stuff used to be, but my mother informed me that Phil had been signed with a team down in Jacksonville, and they had rented a house down there. Phil had in fact, driven a load of things down there already. I tried to remember what was missing, and often succeeded, but sometimes things just seemed missing and I couldn't pin it down. My mother kept apologizing for the weather, and exclaiming her general dismay that Edward needed some sun.

"I didn't think anyone could be paler than you Bella." She said, signing fluently as she spoke. Her signing had always been better than Charlie's but wasn't anywhere close to the level that the Cullen's were at. "I'm so sorry the weather isn't cooperating."

"It's okay mom." I said, "Edward's enjoying the warmth, if not the sunshine."

"It is a pleasant -" he explained to my mom. I missed his descriptive word, but I knew he'd be sweet talking. He seemed to enjoy my mother's thoughts. I wasn't sure if he noticed, but he'd often smile suddenly around her. I had asked him about it, but all he had said about it was that mostly that her thoughts reminded him of a mix of Esme and Alice. Renee and him were talking back and forth about something, and I was watching Phil in the kitchen. He wasn't an Esme or Alice level chef, but certainly comparable to my skills. I was glad he'd taken over in the kitchen, as my mom had some certainly original ideas when it came to food.

Edward's profile appeared in my sightline and I blinked quickly before focusing on him.

 _What are you thinking?_ He signed.

"I was thinking that it's a shame you haven't had a chance to explore the mountains." I thought up. I did not want to insult my mother's cooking within earshot. "Perhaps a night time adventure to keep you occupied?" I whispered.

 _I have plenty to keep me occupied at night_.

"You know how dirty that sounds right?" I chuckled.

 _I meant exploring your house, even catching clips of your mother's dreams. She's so different to you, and yet somehow quite similar. Segments of her thoughts and dreams I can almost imagine you thinking them. She has a very scattered, and childlike innocence and yet a very wise view of the world._

He suddenly looked over at the kitchen, and I followed his gaze. Renee was summoning us for dinner. In the morning, Edward always made sure that he was up first, scrolling through his phone with a fake empty bowl of cereal beside him. I imagined him literally sprinkling a few cornflakes and a splash of milk into a bowl, just in time for my mother to find him. With lunch, we had made sure we were away from home, and Edward would usually buy something 'splitable' like a large batch of fries. Edward had been doing remarkably well avoiding food so far, but my mother's insistence that we all sit down for dinner was defeating him. He'd casually escape to the bathroom later, and I felt terrible about him having to regurgitate the food later. He tried to assure me privately that this was something that his entire family had all had to do it at some point.

Our last night in Phoenix, Edward woke me in the middle of the night. His phone flashlight illuminated his hands as he signed.

 _Can I kidnap you? You talked about exploring the mountains._

"I also talked about being dirty, but _this_ is the option you choose?" I yawned, quietly. Edward shook his head at me.

 _Dress warmly. There's snow up there._

He disappeared again. I fumbled around my room in the dark, and got dressed in my Forks gear. I carried my shoes out, and tried to be conscious of any noise I might make. Edward gently pried oped the sliding glass door, and held out his arms to me.

"Oh. Right." I muttered.

 _You don't have to come…_ he started to sign.

"No it's fine." I whispered. I stepped quickly into his grasp before I could change my mind. I held onto him with all my strength, and he started running. I breathed calmly into his shirt while I tried to pretend we weren't whizzing through the streets of Phoenix. There was a moment in which the wind seemed to dramatically change temperature, and smell, and I knew that we had escaped the confines of the city. Suddenly Edward came to a dramatic stop. I opened my eyes and looked around. We were, I would estimate, about three quarters of the way up a mountain. He helped ease me down.

"You were right about the greenery. I think I've spent so much time in Forks recently that I had forgotten how barren things could be." He said to me. He took a moment to stoop, where he reached down to a tiny cactus and stroked the spines. Under his stony touch the prickles looked almost soft. I shivered slightly in the night air.

"Have you enjoyed Phoenix?" I asked.

"Absolutely. You're more comfortable here than in Forks."

"Not more comfortable." I corrected. "I think that it's just a little more familiar here." I looked back at the sparkling vastness of the night city. "I will admit that I don't think I've seen the city from this height before."

"It has a very different beauty to Forks. Although both locations pale in comparison to yourself of course."

That I pretended to ignore. The blackness behind me was terrifying. There was no light to see any sort of landscape features and there were probably cacti and scorpions all around me.

"Anything to eat around here?" I asked him.

"Besides yourself?" he retorted, chuckling.

"Again, anyone listening would assume that's a totally different joke." I stared at the little I could see of him in the night, a white ghost, standing beside me. He was unmoving, and quiet.

"Edward? I'm just joking." I stepped towards him. Something wasn't right. He looked rigid, tense. "Edward?"

Suddenly he was right beside me, hand across my mouth to hush me. Edward pressed himself so tightly up against me that I would have stumbled, were it not for the grip he had me in. I held my breath. What exactly had him so wired? There was no one here, out in the pitch blackness of the night. No one that I could see. Edward flicked out his phone in a microsecond, turning on the flashlight, and throwing it casually forward in front of us. The light landed upwards, and I could make out the weak outlines of a large cactus, some boulders, and a person.


	76. Chapter 76 - Edward

In the brightness of the clear night I ran, with Bella tensed uncomfortably in my arms. To her, this would be a terrifying experience; not only was the night a black one for her, but she was being moved and she was not in control of it. As she grew to trust me not to let her fall, she grew more comfortable with the idea of being carried and driven places, but it would be a long time, if ever, until she could relax and let me spirit her away. I was taking time, looking at the beautiful and unusaual biodiversity around me. Insects, and mammals that I was unfamiliar with, even rocks and plants that were new to me, or that I had only seen in print, and never in reality.

It had been an amazing two days. I had enforced generally limited contact with my family, choosing to instead delight themwith stories when I returned home, and so had spent the entire time in Phoenix listening, watching, and learning. Over the first night I had googled an entire library's worth of information on the flora and fauna of Arizona. I had also spent some time fishing through some albums of childhood pictures, committing as much of Bella's life to my memory as I could. Even within the confines of the snaps of her childhood images, as a child Bella seemed cautious and lost. There were plenty of pictures to go through, but in most of them Bella had some sort of injury, and was rarely laughing to the fullest. It appeared that her dappling into incessant optimism and humor was perhaps a new phase, brought about by the latest of many tragedies in her life. To see how she had grown was beautiful, and enchanting, and I wished I could share the same insights into my past with her.

Tonight I was taking her into the mountains, to let her see her city from a unique perspective, to be far away from people that would interrupt the peace I had with her. The calamity of such a large city was mentally taxing to say the least. I had stolen her away, into a desolate location in the mountains. One, that only a vampire could have easily ferried her away to.

And that, as it turned out, was almost exactly the problem. We had stopped for only a few minutes when I felt them. I was busy admiring the landscape before me, and the heartbeat of the desert we were standing in.

"It has a very different beauty to Forks. Although both locations pale in comparison to yourself of course." I had remarked, noting how her heart raced as I complimented her.

"Anything to eat around here?" she had responded. Nothing of particular nutritional value aside for some desert foxes. The dry heat couldn't sustain anything large enough to be entertaining. This was however the perfect opportunity to slip in Bella's favourite type of joke – a morbid one.

"Besides yourself?" I had chuckled. It was in that moment that I felt a tug on my mental horizon. A point of focus that I could not ignore. A thought stream, a mental presence much stronger than the people I had been dealing with in the past few days. A vampire.

"Again, anyone listening would assume that's a totally different joke." I heard Bella say. If I had a beating heart it would have frozen again. The presence who had previously been following my scent, now had a sound to link them closer to us. They would be here in seconds. And what to do with that? They sounded curious, but not thirsty, not hunting, although determined to follow the scent of me, and what they assumed was undoubtedly my prey.

"Edward? I'm just joking." Bella said, and I heard a soft crunch as she stepped on a dry piece of bush, moving, to reassure me. "Edward?"

I quickly moved to hold her, standing slightly behind her, locking my arm around her waist, and my hand gently over her mouth. If I needed to, I could lift her and run. The last thing I wanted to do right now was scare Bella, or annoy the intruder. She froze, stopped breathing, waited. Her heartrate didn't even increase. My Bella. Unafraid of danger, to the end. In the brief moment where I was searching the landscape for our guest, I remembered just how dark it was for Bella out here. I quickly fumbled with my phone, turning on the flashlight, and spinning it gently to the ground. As it fell, my guest came within view, and cautiously approached.

 _Interesting._ The mental voice rang out, and a tingle of familiarity buzzed inside my mind. Was it…

"Garrett?" I mumbled aloud. He froze, stock still as the cactus beside him. He looked closer at me as I relaxed my hold on Bella, ever so slightly.

"Edward? Carlisle's boy, right?" he asked. We had only met briefly, a very long time ago. In those days it had been only Carlisle and I. I nodded once, briefly. He started to laugh.

"I wondered how long it would be before you caved out of that ridiculous lifestyle." He chuckled. "What, eighty years?"

"You have me mistaken Garrett." I explained calmly. "Carlisle, his wife Esme, and my four siblings, are all still following his original teachings."

"Four siblings? Carlisle has a coven of seven now?" Garrett was totally shocked. His mind recalling only flashes of us. Bella shifted her weight uncomfortably. She was still calm, collected, her heartrate not indicitive of any stress.

"Before we continue reminiscing," I interrupted Garrett, as his brain buzzed with questions. "I would like an assurance of peace."

 _Of peace? I'm not one to stand between a man and his meal._

"Of course." He said aloud. "I will not challenge you Edward. My good standing with your father shall remain intact."

I slowly released Bella, stepping casually in front of her to illuminate myself, so she might be able to see what was going on. I was still guarded, but more at ease now.

"Garrett, this is Bella, my… mate." I hesitated for a moment before relaying the word. It was the vampire equivalent of wife, or girlfriend. And more apt.

 _Mate? The human? A human with a vampire?_

"Sorry, I must have misheard you…" he started.

"You didn't. She is with me. We were sightseeing tonight. I was unaware there was a claim on Phoenix, or we would not have strayed from the safety of the city."

"There is a claim, but not by me. And he's over in the Roosevelt district currently. He's fine with nomads passing through, as long as we don't stay too long." Garrett said absentmindedly, as his mind filled with questions again. He was filtering out what exactly it was that he wanted to ask first. He slumped into the cactus beside him, leaning on it casually, running a hand through his beard.

I turned slowly to look at Bella. She was still frozen as I had left her, watching Garrett tentatively. I wondered if her eyes could even see him properly.

 _Would you like to go home? I can return and talk to Garrett later, when you are safe._

 _I'm fine._ She responded, as I knew she would have. _I'd rather be with you._

 _What the hell?_ A mental voice interrupted our conversation. _Is that sign language? Are they speaking in code? What has Carlisle been up to? Seven of them? Is he amassing some kind of force?_ For the moment, I ignored him.

 _It might get confusing._ I told Bella.

 _It's already confusing._ Bella retorted, and I smiled. I gestured that she could sit on a nearby rock to wait. She complied, but her body language was anything but relaxed.

"Garrett. To answer one of your multitude of questions," I turned towards him, speaking loudly enough that I hoped Bella was catching it. "Bella is mostly deaf. In the dark, where she cannot read lips as easily, sign language is an efficient communication device. Usually I have to speak very loudly and clearly for her to hear my voice at all."

"That's why you threw down the light." He mused. "I was wondering."

"It's hardly fair to have a conversation when one of us can barely see." I affirmed. "Regardless, you had other questions."

"I'm not entirely sure in the order in which I wanted to ask them."

"I can pick out most of them. Would you like me to begin with my own narrative?" I asked. Garrett reeled for a moment, and then relaxed.

 _The mind reader. I had forgotten that tidbit of information._

"Yes, I can read your thoughts. It will help in telling my story if you mentally formulate queries as I speak. I can alter the narrative to explain in a more full fashion." I said.

 _Well then. Start at the beginning. Where I last left you would be helpful._

I began signing, and speaking. I told the brief stories of collecting Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett into our coven, and the discovery of more of our kind in Alaska. I told the story of the general lives we led, with the younger members attending schools, while Carlisle worked as a doctor, and Esme most often as an architect. I briefly told of Alice and Jasper 'finding' us, while avoiding mention of talents and abilities. Eventually I got to our move to Forks, and my finding of Bella. Bella shifted uncomfortably during that segment.

"We are in town visiting family. We've been remarkably blessed with the overcast skies, and so able to explore the city more." I ended lamely. Garrett's mind was remarkably blank for a moment.

"So are you going to change her then? Is that why you brought her out here?" he asked.

"No. We were sightseeing. Looking at the city from afar." I said, not bothering to sign that time.

"You do realise that you can't keep her human right?" He asked. _The Volturi would descend upon you like wolves to the slaughter._

"I am aware."

"Alright," he held up his arms in abeyance. "Not my fire to throw fuel to. You may want to get on it soon though."

"So far, only trusted individuals know." I retorted, trying not to emphasize the word 'trusted' too much. Garrett laughed.

"Point taken." _Though I make no promises if Aro manages to get his hands on me. He'll read it as though I'd taken out an advertisement in the paper._

"Just try to avoid Italy for a few years then." I smiled, dangerously. Garrett stood, sloughing off the needles that had taken hold in his jacket.

"I probably would have anyway." He shrugged. "Never a fan of that pompous crowd." _Maybe I'll find myself a human girl to change all my own. A mate would be nice, although I don't think I could do the breakable edition._

"Perhaps you should go exploring for the Alaska coven. Three of them are unattached females." I pointed out.

 _Not a half bad idea Edward._

"Goodnight." He said, saluting gently with two fingers at Bella. She smiled back.

"Go in peace." I responded, mirroring the words of my father. Garrett nodded, and disappeared into the mountains. I retrieved my phone, and a small scorpion beside it, showing Bella the dangerous little creature before placing it well out of her reach.

 _You okay?_ She asked.

"I'm alright. We should head back. Your mother will miss us."


	77. Chapter 77

My arrival back in Forks was smooth, and I didn't even trip as I left the plane, which I considered one of the best moments. The following few weeks were a transition into summer went perfectly. Edward and I enjoyed every peaceful moment we could find. I was welcomed into the Cullen household with such warmth on every occasion that I felt at amazingly at home there. I slept over on countless nights. I finally was able to convice Edward that all I needed in the morning was a bowl of cereal or oatmeal, and that the extravagant breakfasts they normally cooked me – although appreciated – were unnecessary.

The wonerful thing about my time with the Cullens, was that as everyone grew more comfortable with me, they began to relax exactly as I had. Which was an interesting thing. Rosalie became less civil, more crass – which Edward assured me was how she was with everyone. Alice got weirder, and Jasper went along with her. They'd have entire conversations with single looks. I expected it of Alice and Edward, but the ability of Jasper to communicate via emotional waves was incredible. Esme was more motherly than ever, participating in my yoga practices, occasionally braiding my hair, and other fun things like that. Even Carlisle kept offering to go running with me. His excuse was that he wanted to be sure my injuries were healing well, but I think he just enjoyed spending the one-on-one time with the newest member of the family. The one negative relaxing part was that every time I stayed over, Emmett would undoubtedly make a 'lack of sleep' joke, and it got to the point where I was beyond annoyed, and was actually starting to take him seriously. I was dating Edward, and had been, for months now, and we'd never really… progressed in the physical department. It was a notion, swimming in the back of my mind. It's not like I'd ever had particular experience in that field, but I'd read enough, watched enough TV, and accidentally overhead via lip-reading enough 'dirty' conversations that I felt like I was probably missing out.

It wasn't until most of the Cullens were out of town that I worked up the courage to even say something. It was Alice, Edward, Jasper, and me in the house. The other four had gone out hunting. Alice and Jasper had just left to get me some kind of food, since nobody wanted to cook, or let me cook for myself that night. I was hoping they were just going for pizza, but Edward said they had something a little further in mind. Edward was sitting, comfortably slouchedd on the couch beside me. We were watching a new television series, and were catching up with the last few episodes to the point where Alice and Jasper had seen. I bit at my lip slightly, and then worked up y courage. I pulled at his dress shirt slightly, undoing the bottom button, and then redoing it.

"Edward…" I began. His eyes caught mine. The hands that had been behind his head flew forward.

 _What is it?_

"I wanted to ask you something. I mean, I was thinking about something, since Emmett mentioned it."

 _I'm confused and slightly nervous. What exactly did Emmett do that's made you so unsure? Your heart is racing._ He signed, his face worried.

"I was just wondering about, the physical aspect of our relationship." I managed to force out through my teeth I quickly closed my eyes so I could focus as I continued to blabber. "And whether or not it was ever going to…progress." Could I have made that sound any more clinical? Good pitch Bella. I opened my eyes to see what Edward's hands were doing. They were frozen, and his face mirrored his hands.

"I'm sorry if that sounded super clinical, but I wasn't exactly sure how to word things."

 _Bella, I have enough trouble not killing you in our regular life. You realise how easy it is for me to break you right?_

 _I know._ I signed, feeling forlorn. _I just wondered if there might be a way to practice into things._

Edward didn't respond at all.

 _I'm not sure if 'practice' is the right word_. I began. This time Edward stopped my hands with his.

"Bella." He paused, releasing my hands, and continued with his. "I… I understand where you're coming from, and if we were any normal couple then I would have probably progressed with you, to some degree. But we aren't normal. If I apply the wrong pressure, move too quickly, if I'm careless for one second, you could be irrevocably injured."

"I understand where you're coming from. But we didn't get to the point we're at now – being able to cuddle on a couch comfortably – without practice. It took you practice being around me, and bombarding yourself with my scent, and taking that extra time to figure out how to deal with me, to get us to this point."

"I'll agree with you there."

"So I don't see why we can't practice, and work up to, something more."

"Because it's too dangerous."

"If I were to take all of my clothes off and lay on you now, would you kill me?"

"It's highly unlikely I'd let you get that far –"

"Would. You. Kill. Me?" I repeated. He sighed in defeat.

"Probably not."

"Then what's a little movement?" I smirked, blushing at my own forwardness. He let his head fall back onto the couch cushion. I didn't push him after that point. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, as I idly watched the TV again. They had the subtitles on, so I could catch everything. I could see Edward clenching and unclenching his hands beside me, as his thoughts raced.

As it turned out, I had timed my 'talk' with Edward perfectly. I had just enough time to rid myself of all embarrassment and relax again, before Jasper and Alice pulled into the driveway. They brought in four bags of food, branded with a Port Angeles restaurant logo and I scowled at them. Jasper simply winked, ferrying the bags to the kitchen in an impressive balancing acct while Alice materialised a plate, and utensils, presenting them to me.

"What did you order? The entire menu?"

"Just shy of it." Alice beamed. "We admitted that the four of us are chilling tonight, so we had to get four meals."

"And four appetizers." Jasper added, very loudly. He was sitting on the opposite couch now, as far from me as possible. He had set out all the covered plastic containers onto the coffee table. There were at least a dozen, of varying sizes.

"And four desserts?" Edward inquired, signing too. "I can smell chocolate."

"Exactly." Alice laughed. "Bella you can pick whatever you'd like, and keep the rest here for the next few days to eat."

"The next few days? Alice you bought enough to feed me for a week." I shook my head in disbelief. "I still think its strange that you feed your food so well."

"You're the Kobe Beef of the vampire world." Edward managed to joke. "I want to make sure that if I do kill you, you'll taste amazing."

I would have missed it if I wasn't looking at him. Jasper swallowed hard, and chomped his teeth together slightly.

"Enough with the morbidity." I scolded. "Feed me peasants."

Even Jasper laughed.

 **AN:**

 **My next few chapters of adventure for my Bella may go in a direction some fans are not appreciative of. Here are some spoilers/reassurances for the very end (whenever that may be):**

 **\- Bella and Edward live happily ever after, and so do Jacob and Renesmee.**

 **Until that point, bear with me, things may get a little…. Unique. Feedback is always appreciated, and I hope you continue to enjoy my story.**


	78. Chapter 78

**Warning, mild and tasteful lemony goodness ahead. Sorta important to get through though...**

Jacob and Angela were an essential component of my summer too. I met with Angela and her now steady boyfriend Ben, on many occasions, and we even double dated once, going to see a new movie in Port Angeles. Ben and Edward (either prepped by Alice, picking from Ben's brain, or genuinely interested) began talking comic books, anime, and movies that I hadn't even heard of, while Angela and I signed back and forth, filling each other in on summer events. I told her all about my trip to Phoenix with Edward while she told me about her family's venture to La Push with Rocky in tow. He had absolutely loved the water and the house and car had smelled like wet dog for days. Everything about Angela and Ben was so calming and easy that I felt that Edward truly enjoyed himself. Usually he and his family tried not to ingratiate themselves into society, choosing to remain aloof to avoid suspicions and danger. I wondered if Edward was now so good at resisting my blood that everyone else's was easy, or if he did miss new people and night I questioned him about it.

"I was wondering about something." I stated quietly. Edward tensed slightly. I wondered if he expected me to ask him to 'practice' things tonight. I was not that silly. Not only did I want to practice things in an empty house, I was also smart enough to wait until Edward had freshly fed.

"Do you actually like Angela and Ben?" I whispered in the darkness of my room, lit only by cell phone light. "If I hadn't been there, for example, would you still have gone?"

 _I do like them, and I think I would have. Angela is a very kind person. Mentally she is quite on par with Esme for her compassion and optimism. Esme could even learn a thing or two about how she views the world. Ben is a more typical teenager, but he has a quick and keen mind, full of imagination. I wouldn't be surprised if he became a writer or artist of some kind._

"You never really socialize with people." I began pointing out, only to have Edward sign over me.

 _Most people aren't comfortable being around us. There is an instinct that pushes them away. Most people -_ he eyed me condescendingly - _choose to avoid us._

"Well as we both know, I'm not 'most people'."

 _Either way, before you, we haven't really been able to socialize._

I felt sorry for him. For them. How lonely their existence was sometimes. Was that something I could handle one day? I wanted to spend eternity with him. Could I give up everyone else in my life? Jacob, Angela? Hell, Renee and Charlie would be the hardest people to say goodbye to. It wasn't something I had to think about anytime soon, but it was certainly on the horizon. How old could I stand to get, with my other half perpetually frozen at seventeen? I was already older than Edward by almost two years. Still, this was something that I at least wanted to happen outside of high school. I had one more year to go, then I would start pressing the issue. If Edward even wanted to stick around that long. I wasn't entirely sure why he was here in the first place.

"Does you spending so much time with me help in other ways?" I vocalised, to get my brain off of it's morbid topic. Edward looked confusedly at me, prompting an explanation.

"I mean, since my blood calls so strongly to you, are you finding it easier to be around other humans?" I clarified in a whisper. He smiled quickly.

 _Yes. As morbid as that is. No one else smells remotely close to you. I would probably make an analogy to heaps of cold tofu, compared to the smell of bacon, or freshly baked bread._

"I wish I could help Jasper more." I muttered sadly. Edward's eyes darkened.

 _You are lucky you don't smell as delectable to him as you do to me. You'd already be dead._

"Thanks for the uplifting note." I whispered, shaking my head at him.

…

The time I spent with Jacob, I usually spent when Edward had to go on a hunting trip. He had gone from feeding as little as Carlisle did to feeding as frequently as Jasper did. The two boys now regularly joined each other for hunting trips, with occasional family members tagging along less frequently. Jacob and I enjoyed strolls along the beach, or visited the rocky tide pools, or holed up in his garage, if we had bad weather to deal with. That was when I would most frequently pour over the book that Jacob had lent me. It was absolutley beautiful, and Jacob seemed to find new enjoyment from his own histories and legends and wars, as he explaineed them to me. Quil and Embry, who stopped by relatively regularly, also joined in on the 'teach Bella all things aboriginal' classes. I learned so much about the history of his tribe that I could quiz them on it. All three of them told me that they'd ace their next history test.

I could see the strain in their effortless nature when they began to talk about any recent generations though. The divide between Sam/Paul/Jared, and Quil/Embry/Jake, was becoming complicated, and even some of the younger tribe members, and some of the female tribe members were beginning to be woven into the story. I tried not to push, and they tried not to incriminate their friends around me, especcially since I was Charlie's daughter. I had my own theories about drugs, while they had theirs about cults, and perhaps it was a mingling of both. None of us were sure, and none of us spent too much time on present issues, when they had some amazing stories about epic battles between their tribe and the cold ones, and generational wars between neighboring tribes.

Quil and Embry were also joining my signing club. Before long all of Forks would know about me, and my partially deaf state. Embry was absorbing signs like a sponge. He was particularly adept at it, and it had the boys all competing to learn more. As I learned their stories, I repeated them in sign, until they were telling them to me in ASL from the get go.

My summer was going so well. Everything felt comfortable and amazing, and I felt as though somehow I was truly fitting in for the first time in my life. I felt empowered, and stronger, and like I had direction in my life, which was probably why I felt confident enough to finally corner Edward.

And that was kind of where things got complicated.

It was one of those beautiful days where Edward and I were actually alone. It was absolutely pouring outside, to the point where it looked shower like, and I had a very childish urge to go and frolic in it. Edward was watching me from his piano, fiddling around with music I couldn't hear. He said he was composing something, something that he hadn't been able to finish writing. He said that the piece was inspired by me, but a good portion of it was outside of my hearing range if he played it too quickly. I tried not to let him see that I couldn't fully enjoy his talent, and so I spent most of my time developing my liking of watching Edward play. He was so relaxed and happy that it was equally as entertaining as his music could have been. It was then that I caught sight of the rain outside. The Cullen household had a large, open back lawn that was immaculately weed free and soft. And it was absolutely pouring outside. I fished my phone out of my pocket and slipped off my socks, biting my lip. Was it childish? Yes. Yes it was. I took a quick look at Edward, who hadn't yet guessed my intentions, and then walked towards the back door. It wasn't until I opened it that Edward appeared beside me.

 _What?_ he started signing. I grinned at him and tugged on his shirt slightly, indicating that he should follow, and I ran out into the rain.

It was soft and squishy in the grass as I ran, letting the shower absolutely soak me. It took only a few seconds for me to be completely drenched in the cool water. I spun around happily for a few seconds before I was whisked upwards. A small scream later, and I was on top of Edward's shoulders as he circled lazily. I squeezed my thighs around his neck knowing I couldn't hurt him, and that he wouldn't let me fall. It was invigorating, being in the rain. I felt as though I'd been dipped into a lake, and the fresh smell and tingling sensations of the rain slapping against my skin was amazing.

Edward and I rolled around in the rain, and the grass for a while. It was super soft and squishy, and we were getting decently muddy. Edward started showing off, flipping and spinning, climbing trees, and jumping around like an energizer version of a gorilla. It wasn't until I started shivering that he finally coaxed me to come back inside.

Edward disappeared and was back in a flash with two of the largest, fluffiest towels I had ever seen. I wrapped myself up like a burrito, and we walked (or shuffled in my case) slowly upstairs to find changes of clothing. Edward peeled off his towel, and his shirt, tossing the wet one on the floor. I bit my lip again, and blurted out before he could put his new one on.

"Wait."

Edward froze, looking at me quizzically, and then with trepidation.

"Bella…" He started. I dropped my towel and walked towards him. I knew that I was not exactly in the most provocative of clothing. A long sleeved plaid shirt and jeans – soaked through – and my hair plastered to my face and neck, but maybe this would be the little boost of assurance that Edward needed. I believed in his self control. Time to lose a little of mine.

I gently pushed him back towards the closet door. He moved stiffly, but willingly. If he really didn't want to move, he wouldn't. I moved my hands gently over his body, making my way to his soaked jeans. I – clumsily – undid the button on them, and sent my hands in a downward direction. Edward stood, unbreathing, unmoving, eyes fixated on me. When I reached my destination I felt a cool blast of a sharp exhale. Edward's hands twitched towards me, and then quickly fell back to his sides. I could do this. I was brave enough. I knelt down slowly, keeping my eyes on Edward's face. He still hadn't moved much, aside from his fists clenching and unclenching. The strain in his neck told me his jaw was doing the same. I could feel the breeze of the sharper, and faster exhales hitting my face as I gently tugged his remaining clothing out of my way. I waited for a moment for the butterflies in my stomach to settle, as I evaluated what was before me and how to proceed. I took a steadying breath, locked my eyes once again with Edward's and took him into my mouth.

Edward's head snapped back with such force that a crack appeared in the door behind him. I continued, awkwardly at first, but figuring things out as I went. Edward's chest was heaving within minutes. Suddenly his hands flew forward and he pushed me away quickly, turning away from me as he shuddered. I smiled, standing up, slowly and surprisingly gracefully. Edward's breathing still looked laboured, and I didn't want to push him too much further today. I slipped around him, into his closet, where Alice kept a full range of Bella-sized clothing that she claimed had belonged to others. I grabbed a fresh set of clothing, and was about to escape to the bathroom, when I realised that today had been about firsts, and I might as well reciprocate with the level of nudity he got to see. I stripped off my wet shirt, having to peel it inside out from my arms, and did the same with my jeans. Edward's head snapped towards me.

I didn't look at him, as I continued to undress, though my heart was racing. I was just going to change clothing, nothing else was going to happen. I undid my bra, tossing it aside with the pile of wet clothing, and made to grab the clean and dry one, when Edward appeared right in front of me. His cold hands slid slowly up and down my back as he stared into my face.

"Isabella." He complained, his face a stunned, and aroused mix. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I told you." I breathed at him, flustered, and chilled, pressed mostly naked upon his stony chest. We were both topless, but he had pulled up his wet jeans, and I still had my underwear on. Despite the wet and cool texture of his clothes, I felt warmer than ever."Practice."

I wasn't sure if it was what I said, how I looked, or how I smelled, but I suddenly found myself pinned to the bed as Edward kissed me. He was quite unreserved in how he was kissing me, more ardently, like a need, rather than a want. I was thoroughly enjoying it. He pressed one of his thighs in between my legs, and I gently took it as an invitation to work my own arousal out. I was warm, sweating, and my hands were moving all over him in seconds. His arms were supporting him so that he was not pressed against me, but I managed to find the strength to pull myself up to him. His lips moved slowly down to my next as I worked myself up. He was kissing, licking, and it was just too much. I exploded in a wave of emotions and release, and my neck, which had been working so hard to hold my head up, finally relaxed under Edward's fingers. I felt lightheaded, and dizzy, as Edward kissed and licked away at my neck, pinning me down harder than he had before. All I could hear was my heartbeat throbbing quickly in my ears. The last thing I remembered was a rushing, cool sensation that was tingling in my extremities, then I was bombarded by bright lights and muffled sounds. I closed my eyes away from the light, and fell promptly blacked out.


	79. Chapter 79 - Alice

**Couldn't leave you all confused and hanging. So here you are :) (Don't hate me, and don't forget my end goals)**

Alice

We were all out, giving Edward and Bella some space. Jasper and Emmett were visiting a car show in Portland, Esme and Rosalie were visiting an art museum in Seattle, and Carlisle and I were on a financial venture. We had various financial accounts under different aliases, and even a stock trading company that enabled a movement of our resources into local businesses, startups, hospitals and other things. There was a reason that Forks hospital was surprisingly well outfitted with up to date machinery. I was, of course, the deciding factor on most of our wealth now. Carlisle had done amazingly with his own interests, but the majority of his wealth before I had joined the family was aquired through the selling of real estate, Esme's art, and their uncanny ability to auction valuable and pristine antiquities. Now, I had – for lack of a more appropriate word – revamped the household's wealth, assets, and their location in physicality or cyberspace.

We had just picked a café in Port Angeles, to go over everything we had wrapped up today. Some of the basic city infrastructure in the area would be undergoing renovation this year, not to mention our main road systems would be re-paved, to be as smooth as possible. That was Rosalie's request this year – she wanted not to have to drive over potholes in her shiny new car. We were sitting together, on laptops, with coffee and tea beside us for show, seemingly having an innocent father daughter date night. In actuality we were moving assets, having a very serious discussion about taking some losses to remain inconspicuous, and looking into future investment.

"We could look into improving our next home?" Carlisle asked, suggesting that we begin improvements of the hospitals, streets, city resources, and other such things for wherever our next settlement was. I shut my eyes for a second, browsing my own future, and my inevitable trip to a tourist center. I made it a point to visit the tourist information area in any locations we moved to, to give myself a frame of reference to look into in the future.

 _I saw myself leaning casually on a car, looking up at our new city, a brochure to 'Abbotsford, BC' was nestled under my arm._

"Abbotsford. British Columbia." I said aloud. Carlisle began typing, looking into where we were going, and what resources were available. The tourism industry was thriving there, it being nestled in the rockies, and our hunting grounds would be vast. In the shadow of the mountains we'd be able to be seen even on sunnier days, once the sun dipped beneath the peaks. I – out of habit when I was bored – flicked through the immediate futures of our family, while pretending to sip from the coffee I'd ordered.

 _Esme and Rosalie were debating copying a beautiful waterfall scene to hang in one of the upstairs bathrooms. I kept seeing it appear, and then disappear, to be replaced with other art._

 _Jasper and Emmett were looking into Jazz's new vehicle. They had bought special private access to the car show, to alleviate some of the stress Jazz felt by reducing the crowds. He was switching between car types, but didn't want to settle on anything until he found what he called 'Edward's Aston Martin feeling'._

 _Bella and Edward were about to go dancing in the rain. I watched with pleasant surprise as I saw my brother let loose, laughing, flipping, spinning, dancing, with Bella._ I probed forward in the vision to see if they were going to remember to clean up the muddy mess they'd make, and found myself surprised enough that I spilled a few drops of the coffee.

 _Edward and Bella were getting….physical. Bella had taken it upon herself to encourage Edward to drop a few of his guards._ Not wanting to see too much, I jumped ahead further, and found myself looking at a much worse future.

 _A horror scene lay on a bed before a very still, very pained looking Edward. On the bed lay an almost naked, and very still Bella. She was beautiful, even in her cold, drained, state. A warm smile was frozen on her lips. I looked into Edward's eyes to see that they were the dark, rich red, of a freshly fed vampire._

I squeezed the handle on my coffee mug so hard that it snapped, spilling ceramic shards, and coffee all over myself, and my laptop. Carlisle rushed to my 'aid', waving off the people around us, and packing up our things quickly, under the guise of running me to the hospital to get checked out. I paid him no notice as I tried with no luck to see into Bella's future. There was none. No vampire, or human continued existence. Edward had not left venom in her, but drained her dry. She was just…. Gone. And then so was he. I forced myself to go back into the events leading up to this point. How much time did I have? I had ensured, early on, that everyone carry a watch with a time stamp on it when we separated, to give myself the best odds of relaying accurate information. This happened today, in less than an hour.

I realised we were in the car when I finally came back to the present. Carlisle had taken the driver's seat.

"Carlisle we need to go. NOW." I blurted. "The closest hospital, park inconspicuously."

I whipped out my phone and tried to call Edward's. I realised with grim horror that it had been fried in the rain. _Bella's was operational, but on silent, and resting on top of the piano, and her socks, a full soundproofed floor away from a shortly very distracted Edward._ As I directed Carlisle, snippets of Bella's future came back into focus.

"How many pints of blood would Bella need to live?" I asked.

"Three litres." He supplied. "Five is normal."

He stopped the car and I practically flew out of it. I had little to no time to figure this out, and I knew what I needed to do. Carlilse was beside me in a second.

"I need you to get the blood. I'll pull the power. I can give you 15 minutes."

"I won't need that long." He assured me. It was truly a mark of his trust in me that he hadn't even asked questions yet.

We were in and out of there in a matter of minutes. I slipped in, hiding where I needed to escape view from cameras, and slipped into the electrical room. One master switch flip later, and I was gone. I waited by the car, deciding that once Carlisle had the blood, it would be fastest to run straight there. It felt like an eternity, but I knew that Carlisle was as fast as he could be. It didn't take him long to return, arms full of six plastic blood bags. A fleeting vision of Carlisle repeating this gesture to replace the lost blood entered my mind.

"Think about returning blood later. Right now we need to run."

I kept skimming futures, and relaying pertinent information to Carlisle. When we got there it would be close timing. The easiest way would be to jump clear through the window. Any minor scratches Bella attained would be negligible if we could save her. Bella's future chances were grim, but there was one. Carlisle could do it, if I could maneuver Edward. I'd have to rely on instinct and not thought, diverting, perhaps shocking him into stillness and subservience with images of Bella's death. He was super distracted, but if I could mentally bombard him...

I ran faster than I thought I could have, and Carlisle was equally as frantic. Our clothing was suffering for the speed we were running at. I could feel our shoes disintegrating as we pushed our feet through the soles when they landed on the forest floor. We were nearly there. I started focusing on how best to enter, how best to distract, how best to save Bella.

 _My final, and most sucessful decision, was to leap through the window before Carlisle, mounting Edward from behind and above, and using my momentum to pull him away._ In one of two versions of this vision, it worked. The other one, had Bella pulled along with us, and crushed in our resulting landing. This would be up to Edward and his mental need to stop holding onto his food/mate.

It was three strides until we hit the river, and I leapt with all my might ahead of Carlisle, into Edward's bedroom window. The shattered glass fell around us like snowflakes dancing into a room. I had managed to time my jump so that I landed with my hand on Edward's face, and my body mounting his back like a piggyback ride, while thinking furiously of the dead Bella image that I had seen. I clamped my legs to him as he tensed, finally distracted enough from his endeavour. I pulled his head back and my momentum pulled us away from Bella. We crashed messily through the door, and into the hallway, taking parts of the wooden frame with us. He froze in a heap on the floor, and I disentangled myself as soon as possible, vaulting back into the room.

Carlisle had paid no attention to Edward and I, making a direct move toward Bella. He had taken the steps he needed to instantly, crudely jamming the tube opening of the blood bag into the wound on her neck, and squeezing the blood with surreal speed back into her body. As soon as I walked into the room, I caught a vision of him asking me to continue with the blood transfusions while he pumped her heart, so I instantly took the bag from his hands. My hands were shaking with nervous energy as I began copying Carlisle, but his calm and focused manner was something that eased my discomfort. I tried not to look into her future, focusing my full attention on the present. It was difficult, but it kept me grounded in the moment, and fully able to do the job I needed to.

Edward rejoined us, pain and fear evident on his features. He stood there, in shock, watching Carlisle and I do what we could. Bella was breathing, shakily, and we could detect the faint redness of blood re-entering her skin as we filled her again. She hadn't been completely drained when we reached her, a pleasant surprise, but Carlisle informed me that I should push as much blood in as possible.

"More blood cells, more haemoglobin, more oxygen diffusion. She'll be better in recovery." The more we worked on her, the stronger the visions of Bella waking up became. They were leaking into my current vision without my mental searching for them. Her survival was becoming more certain, less hazy, and was even leaking into further future points. I breathed a sigh of relief. She'd live.

Edward disappeared in the time it took for two more bags, but I saw him reappear with Carlisle's doctor's bag. Carlisle took it instantly, as Edward took over the pumping action. I was on my last bag. When I concluded Carlisle pressed the wound together instantly, pinching with his fingers.

"Edward at this point it's your decision. Introduce the venom, or ask her body to heal itself." Carlisle said. Edward's face contorted in confusion.

"She's not already…" he started to ask, clearly shocked.

"No." I interrupted. "You drained her too quickly. It's now up to you to decide what to do."

He faltered for a second, and I caught sight of two things, a Bella writhing in pain as venom coursed through her body, and a Bella waking up drowsy beside a worried Edward. My unwitting, and untimely vision unfortunately sealed her fate.

"Don't you think I've done enough to ruin her life today?" he spat. "I won't put her through that too."

Carlisle took action immediately, and began to stitch the wound, treating her as he would a human, rather than turning her. It was now up to Bella to come through this on her own.

The future was now a jumbled mess.


	80. Chapter 80

**Ever heard of a laptop screen 'ghosting'? Well that's what happened to me, and why I've been AWOL. All back now. Thanks for reading!**

I woke up confused. There were bright lights and mutated sounds around me. It took me a moment to blink away my confusion. I felt exhausted, like I'd been through another car accident. I twisted my head slowly to the side and felt the pull of an injury on my neck. What had happened exactly? The last thing I remembered I was… I was… Oh. I felt my cheeks warm slightly. I blinked open my eyes again and realised that I was looking up at Edward's ceiling. And Alice. If anything, Alice looked worse than I felt. Her face seemed drawn, and she looked very much like she had a headache. Her eyes seemed fuzzy and unfocused. She looked at me, and smiled, weakly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay. I think." I sat up slowly and the room span slightly. I saw Edward perched, hunched over, on his sofa. He was still shirtless, and looked more dishevelled than usual. Jasper was in front of him, his eyes sternly fixed on Edward. Carlisle appeared to my left, walking through the door. My back felt cold, and I realised that someone had 'dressed' me in one of Edward's button ups, backwards, and my naked back was exposed. I was literally barely dressed in front of most of my family. And it suddenly clicked in my head what had happened. We'd pushed too far. Edward had lost control. I idly wondered how close I had come to dying.

"I assume I should be thanking you, Alice." I said, sadly. She waved me off.

"Carlisle did the real work."

I looked over to him. He was in 'doctor mode', looking clinical, critical, and less fatherly. His fingers were instantly on my neck, his eyes were staring directly into mine.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry." Carlisle's eyes flicked over behind me, to where Edward was, and then back to mine.

"There is no need to apologize Bella. I'm glad you're well. You seem to be recovering splendidly."

"How long exactly was I out?" I asked.

"About nine hours." He said. Great, just long enough for everyone to get home and revel in the awkward jokes of Emmett.

"How bad has Emmett been?" I asked. Carlisle looked thoroughly confused.

"I mean the sex death thing has to be fuel for some pretty advanced jokes." I explained. Carlisle barely smiled. Too soon I suppose.

"He's managed to keep it serene. I can't say much for his thoughts…" he trailed off.

I looked over at Edward. He was unmoving, and the others looked restless.

"Edward?" I asked. He stiffened, turning towards me slightly. His face was turned away, towards Jasper.

"I'm sorry." I said, shakily. Edward's jaw clenched visibly. Jasper nodded at him, and he slowly turned toward me. His eyes, usually gold, sometimes dark ochre, were a brilliant, and uncomfortable red. I knew instantly that I wasn't normal. Instead of being scared that my blood was literally coursing through his veins, all I could feel was sadness. It felt somehow like I'd broken something. I'd held in my hands a beautiful shiny bubble, and squeezed just that little bit too tightly. His face showed the same resignation. Something serious was definitely going to happen.

"I'm going to go find you some clothing." Alice piped up beside me. I turned around to see that the room had emptied, except for Jasper and Edward. I wasn't sure why Jasper was present, but if Edward's expression of pain were any indication, then he was certainly needed.

"Edward..." I started again, his eyes met mine. "It's okay. Please don't blame yourself."

"Okay." he said. I was visibly surprised. That was not the response I had been expecting. My eyes flickered over to Jasper. His eyes were focused on Edward. How much complicitness, and calmness, and serenity was he pumping into Edward exactly? I took a deep breath. If anything, his calm was weirding me out more than his inevitable anger and self loathing.

"Uh Jasper, could you give us a minute?" I asked. He looked sternly at me, hovering for a moment. When he saw that I was calm and obviously determined, he relented, stepping slowly out of the room. He stopped at the doorway and turned back.

"I won't be far."

And then he was gone. I turned towards Edward again, and my heart sank. The pain that I thought I was seeing before had been magnified. I stood up, ignoring the slight spinning that followed me, and walked over to Edward. He stiffened as I approached. I slowed, and stopped, a few feet from him.

How are you doing? I signed.

"That's such a pathetic question." He responded. A trickle of hurt, then anger flared in me. He was fine. Just angry.

"I get that you're angry."

"Angry?" he laughed. "Bella I'm furious. You realise that I was seconds away from killing you right?"

"Yes." I cut in. "But we knew this sort of stuff could be hard."

"Bella. You died. You may have well as been dead. Lifeless and cold. Unmoving. Killed by none other than yours truly."

"Well pardon me for being unimpressed, but I have faced death a few times. I'm getting pretty good at it. You're the one creating the problem here."

"I am the problem." he repeated, slumping slightly more. His lips repeated something else, that I didn't catch. A flicker of annoyance popped through me, and I bit it back.

"That isn't what I said."

"It's the most truthful thing I've said regarding us and our relationship. How idiotic was I to think that this could possibly work?"

"So you're going to throw away everything we've worked so hard on, because of a setback?" I said, my curtness fueled by my anger at his self loathing state.

"A setback that nearly cost you your life. Again."

"I'm only alive today because of what you've done for me." I pointed out.

"And I nearly took that away twice. My actions, my decisions here have such terrible repercussions and outcomes. I can't do that any more. It isn't right." His eyes moved away from me and to the door behind me. I looked briefly. Alice stood there, a bundle of clothing in her arms. She was staring at Edward. I wasn't sure about the emotion on her face. It was something between anger and despair though. Her and Edward stared at each other, locked in their own conversation. I hesitated a few seconds and then walked towards her, grabbing the clothing. There was a pile of turtle necks and a few scarves. Hiding the misfortune of my neck for the next week or so was undoubtedly a priority. I took them all, choosing a simple black turtleneck, and retreiving my jeans, which were still pretty damp. I didn't care. I looked back at Edward, and he seemed to relax. A short, sharp and unsatisfying smile crossed his lips.

"Let's get you home Bella. You'll get a good night's rest tonight."

I looked back at Alice, but she was gone. Edward bundled up the clothing in my arms into a shopping bag, and quickly donned a shirt and shoes. This would be a tense ride home.

Not a single Cullen interrupted our trek to the truck. They had all vanished. Edward drove me home, at a respectable speed, without any complaint. His sudden relaxed nature, his sudden quiet disposition, had me more scared than his anger ever could have. It felt as though he had made some kind of critical decision, and the pessimist in me was leaping to conclusions.

"Are you staying with me tonight?" I asked, referring to our usual bedtime routine. He smiled at me, but his smile seemed sad.

"Of course."

I tried not to let my unease show, and just closed my eyes, resting my head against the rumbling inside of the truck. The vibration and noise made it impossible for me to think. My head was filled with distorted static and it was easy to focus on that, instead of thinking about the cold Edward beside me. He just needed some time. I made my way indoors, unhindered by Charlie, who was actually on his way out, responding to a vehicle crash due to the rain.

"Damn tourists." he said, ruffling my hair as he left. I walked upstairs alone, and checked my room, dropping the bag of new clothing inside. Edward stood there, looking out into the rain.

"I'm just going to shower." I said. I saw his head dip in a nod.

The sight of my neck was actually not as bad as I had been expecting. A clean, crescent shaped wound adorned it, Carlisle's stitches were neat and nearly invisible it certainly wasn't anything to wince at. I had been decorated with much worse. I showered, warming myself up, and got dressed into some warm pyjamas. I was cold, tired, and unsettled. I would undoubtedly sleep well. Thank goodness it was summer. When I reached my room again, Edward sat on my bed. It seemed like a casual gesture, but there was nothing casual about his disposition. I tucked myself under my blankets, resting my head on him so that he couldn't leave. I was asleep in seconds.

My dreams were nonexistent.


	81. Chapter 81

The following morning I felt weak, but healthy. I felt like I'd run too far, and needed to rest, but that I felt better for it somehow. When I opened my eyes, Edward was not there. A note rested on my bedside, his elegant scrawl hard to read at first.

 _I'm needed for a family discussion. I'll meet you here at 2pm._

 _Edward_

I exhaled, disappointed. I decided to make myself useful to pass the time. I cleaned my room, even organizing my closet and drawers and making my bed. I cleaned bathrooms, the kitchen, the laundry room, then added the living room and Charlie's room to the list too. I did the house's laundry, everything from clothing to bedsheets and towels. I cooked an elaborate lunch, and even considered vacuuming my truck.

Charlie helped a little, after he got up, but seemed to sense that I was on the war path with any form of dirt in our house, and quite frankly, I think he was scared to be in my way. He practically asked me if it was alright if he went to Billy's for dinner. I shooed him away, saying that I was going to get groceries probably, or nap after all my hard work today. After a brief hug, he disappeared, and the house became like a prison. I kept checking the clock. Had five minutes really only gone by since the last time I checked? I had an hour until Edward would be showing up. So I turned to self care instead. I shaved, plucked, exfoliated, dried, moisturized, cleaned, and even painted my nails I had killed as much time as physically possible. I had only seven minutes to wait. I sat, nervously, at the kitchen table, contemplating starting some sort of food. I gave up and began literally watching the clock.

At exactly 2pm, the front door swung open, and in came Edward. I breathed a sigh of relief, until he turned to look at me. He looked exactly as he had yesterday, tense, eerily calm, unsettling. Yes, it was definitely time to make food. I opened the freezer, looking for something to keep myself occupied. I pulled out some beef, and checked the fridge, plenty of vegetables to wash and cut.

I started on that as Edward stood, watching me. He took over the knife, as he usually did, when I cooked.

"How would you like these prepared?" He asked simply.

"Smaller chunks for the cauliflower and broccoli, and I guess the carrots and onions could be diced." I said. He began to work on that, as I cleaned the remaining things. He worked unusually slowly as I filled the sink with hot water to help expedite the defrosting of the beef strips.

"How did the family discussion go?" I asked. "I'm sorry if I've caused trouble."

"You haven't done anything wrong Bella. You need to stop trying to take blame for the faults of others." he shook his head. "It was fine. A lot was discussed. Things have come up, that, as a family, we've been ignoring for a while."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Well for one, Carlisle is pretending to be almost thirteen years older than he is biologically."

That statement surprised me thoroughly. What did that have to do with Edward nearly killing me? "Oh?"

"Well it's about time we considered moving on, as a family. And we had a lot to discuss about when and where we'd be going."

I swallowed a dry swallow. I knew this. This was something he had talked about in the past. After graduation of high school, they would all move again, a different sun-less city, a new hospital, a new house. Some of their homes were old ones revisited. But this didn't have that warm recollection, and sense of new hope that Edward had previously discussed. This felt wrong, and sad.

"I bet Alice is invaluable in that planning." I smiled, trying to ease him.

"She is." he responded simply. Our conversation felt so cold that I was physically starting to get anxious. How long would Edward be this distant? This was almost worse than when we had first met, but at least with that there was more eye contact. I wasn't going to broach the subject of when they'd be moving. Obviously Edward and Alice would finish school here. We only had one more year after all.

"Can I ask a morbid question?" I said, trying to elicit a smile. Nothing came.

"Of course."

"How long will your eyes be this dark?" I asked. He turned his red eyes toward me. Even in this colour, he was beautiful.

"It depends how much I feed. If I gorge myself on animal blood it will dissipate faster." He looked back down at the vegetables. "I'm sorry it upsets you."

"It doesn't upset me. I'm curious as to the differences between my blood and animal blood."

"You were right. That is quite morbid." He evaded.

I couldn't think of anything more to say. Edward seemed content to be quiet too, and that was how we stayed while cooking. When I was done the meal, Edward looked at me, in depth, this time. He looked almost normal, worry, and love seeping through his cold demeanor.

"How are you?"

"I'm honestly okay. Physically I'm a little tired, but my neck doesn't even hurt. Emotionally, all I'm worried about is you." I was brutally honest.

"I'm perfectly healthy, as always." he evaded again.

"And emotionally?" I pressed.

"I'm calm."

"You're weird. You aren't behaving like yourself. Hell if anything it feels like I'm trying to date Jasper."

Edward hung his head slightly, closing his eyes, and steadying himself. I wondered if maybe I'd pushed too far. He clearly needed some time to center himself, but how could I possibly help him if I had no idea what he was going through? I needed the communication to even begin helping, and instead, I got android Edward.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." He stepped towards me, giving me a tight hug, and a kiss on the forehead. "I have to go hunting. My eyes are unsettling my family."

He began to pull away, and I gripped onto his arm, weakly.

"You're coming back tonight right?" I wasn't sure what my face, and or voice portrayed, but Edward looked pained again for a brief moment.

"Of course. I'll be back in the early morning. I'll try to keep it short."

And again, he was gone, almost as suddenly as he had showed up.

It took a moment for my stomach and nose to remind me what I had been doing. I barely ate the meal we had prepared together. I packed the majority of it away for Charlie in the fridge. I headed upstairs, into the bathroom, and did something I never usually would do, and certainly didn't usually condone. I took a night time sleeping aid.

I had some left over from my last accident, and tonight I really needed it to settle myself. It was only 4 pm when I tucked myself into bed, but I fell asleep as quickly as a toddler.

When I woke, Edward wasn't there.


	82. Chapter 82

When I woke up, Edward wasn't there. My bed was empty, and even though Edward normally supplied extra cold, somehow it felt colder than usual. I took a deep, steadying breath, and rubbed my eyes. I would be fine. I turned my head around, to find my watch, and the time, and jumped. Edward was not present in my room. Alice however was. I had missed her at first, because she was poised perfectly, and still, on my desk chair, looking quite stubborn and rather angry. It took me a few moments before I was awake enough to process that she was there to visit me and that I should say something. I opened my mouth to say "good morning" and she cut me off straight away, speaking and signing slowly and with purpose, to ensure I caught all of it.

"Good morning Bella. I'm here because Edward is making a stupid decision and there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it. But no matter what he does he can't control the rest of us and unfortunately you've managed to weasel your way into our lives inextractably."

I sat dumbfounded for a moment and waited for her to explain herself a little further. Instead she just looked at me, still cross, and agitated, waiting for me to speak. A mild flutter of panic bubbled under my breath as I came to the realization of Edward's distance the last few days. There was really only one explanation for everything. We weren't going to be able to talk about this. There was no coming back from a failure that literally broke his self control and almost killed me. At least, not in his eyes.

"Edward is leaving isn't he?" the words fell heavily into the room. Even the rain drops I could see splattering against the window beside her took a break for a moment. Everything was still. Especially Alice. She had briefly mentioned that Edward was trying to make her do something, and suddenly some of the hints that he had been dropping the last few days also clicked. "And he is trying to get all of you to leave too?"

"A quick, and adequate summation as always Bella." Alice said, tapping her fingers frustratedly on the desk for a moment. "We all still have a minimum of three years left in this town. There are a myriad of reasons we hadn't moved on yet, including arbitrary things like city infrastructure." she waved her hand around in a dismissive movement. "But none of that matters now. What does matter is that I won't let him take you away. I know we aren't that close quite yet but I've seen how close we do get. It's closer than Rose and I are even today and it isn't fair that Edward wants to take it away from me. All because some stupid hanky panky went a little haywire and he doesn't want to kill you."

She crossed her arms and slouched back into the chair she was perched on. "Even Jasper is mad about Edward's decision. The only one remotely on his side is Rose, and that's for a whack of jealousy reasons and human prejudices rather than anything real."

I realized my vision was blurring slightly and began to blink away the rush of tears welling up. Either Alice didn't realize this, or she was still so simmering mad that she needed to get things off of her chest.

"I don't know if it's a vampire thing. My family, my Jasper, my friend. I feel like the whole possessive thing is probably instinctual. If he wants to leave, fine he can leave. But I'm not going anywhere. Jasper thinks I'm nuts. He just doesn't want our lives to be upended yet..."

I didn't catch any more of what she said, because my tears finally blurred out even the shape of a body sitting in my chair. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to control the waves of pain and ending that were bubbling through me. I was encased in tiny, but strong, cold arms, and a little pointy chin rested into my shoulder. She patted my back calmly as I shuddered for a minute. I'm not sure how long we sat like that, but I sensed no impatience on Alice's part. It took me a while, but when I had sobered up from my panic and pain attack, I pulled back from her. She looked sad, but supportive.

"Edward will kill me if he finds out I let you know before he did. But I can be as much of a stubborn ass as he is."

"Probably more." I whispered weakly. That caused her to crack the tiniest of smiles.

"But my decision is as firm as his. None of us are going anywhere. The only future available to me now is one with him gone." She stated firmly. My heart fluttered in fear for a moment.

"And in three years?" I asked. I was expecting her face to darken with the thought of leaving, and other such things, but instead, she smiled broader than before.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

I stared at her face, confused. There was something she wasn't telling me. That I could sense. All I had right now was the assurance that Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle, and possibly even Emmett and Rosalie, weren't going anywhere. All the people I had fallen in love with, loved me too.

Alice's face glazed over for a second, and she snapped to attention.

"Do me a favour? Change your clothes and go outside? Edward won't smell me then. I have to go, so he doesn't sense me on approach." She bounced off of the bed, and towards the window, as I started pulling off my shirt.

"And Bella?" she called, loudly. I looked over at her.

"This talk with Edward is going to suck. Don't do anything stupid please. And try to remember that we are here for you, it might just take a little bit of time."

And she was gone into the rain. I pulled my window closed quickly, as the rain was coming into the room, and continued to change. I swept my hair up into a ponytail and headed downstairs. I grabbed my coat and boots, and realized I had no reason to be outside. So I grabbed my truck keys, and started to head out. I took a little longer than usual locking the door behind me, as my hands were shaking. My stomach was retching and rolling. What would he say? Could I talk him out of it?

As I turned around I jumped again, dropping my keys. Edward was there, standing in the rain. His eyes were still emboldened with red, and his drenched clothing was unchanged from the last time I had seen him.

His face told me everything I needed to know.


	83. Chapter 83

**Now I told you some of this would get strange and with the move I'm making now, I may lose some of my readers. I want Renesmee to exist in my world, but without the weirdo vamp baby thing. Another supernatural creature sprang to mind, and for the life of me I can't get her out of my head. Today you'll meet her.**

 **My mantra as always: remember my end game - Bella and Edward, Jacob and Ness, the happily ever after... just with some hiccups and derailments on the way. :) Enjoy my pretties.**

I stood, still on the porch, watching him. Although he was soaked through, he looked as though the rain was something he was wearing with purpose. I thought about what Alice had just said, and pictured her, and Esme standing, watching this exchange with disdain. That helped. My face, hopefully, gave nothing away except consternation.

"Bella, would you mind walking with me, for a little?" he asked and signed, gesturing towards the forest beside the house. I was about to say that I'd rather stay, when he began to walk in that direction anyway. The rain, and my hood, would make it quite hard for me to hear him. Maybe he wanted the privacy so that he could repeat the bad news as loudly as he needed. I followed into the greenery, stumbling my way into the mushy moss that coated the forest floor, the rain, now diminished by the tree coverage, splashing onto my face. We walked for a few minutes, him stopping a few feet ahead of me finally, while I caught up, and caught my breath. I looked down at my shoes, and they were caked in mud, and even some specks of twigs and leaves I had picked up along the way. I looked back up at Edward, he turned towards me, lifting up his hands to begin signing.

...

 _Elsewhere, exactly 24 miles away, a woman lay, frail and gasping, in a hospital bed. Her eyes were milky white, her cloudy irises ringed with blue. She had outlived her husband, and her only child in this life was asleep slumped in a chair at the foot of her bed. He had been by her side for days, foregoing his job. She felt a sense of relief as she lay alone, knowing that she had set up what she could for him, a wealthy, but not surprisingly lavish inheritance, and she had set aside exactly what she needed to set herself up financially in the next body._

 _She looked out towards the sound of the rain. A shimmer of light to her right told her approximately where the window was. Her ears were quite frankly, the better sense these days. It wouldn't be long. She could feel her tether on the body loosening. She wondered where exactly she would land next. Close, obviously, as she never lasted too long outside of a host without injury. She heard her son snore lightly and she smiled. Soon. Soon she'd be in a haze of confusion, until she locked onto the next empty vessel. Soon._

 _..._

"Bella. Isabella. You are the most important thing in my world." Edward began.

"And you, in mine." I said. I wasn't sure how croaky my voice was.

"But I nearly killed you." He continued. "The light in my universe was nearly extinguished, by the most vile creature ever to exist in my universe. My deplorable animal self."

"It wasn't your fault." I automatically tried to correct him, "I know I smell differently to you, and that I pushed too fast..."

"You are always trying to take the blame Bella. You cannot blame yourself for existing. You cannot blame yourself for loving. For trusting. For wanting."

"Neither can you."

"Yes actually. I can. I had my chance in this world. My life came to a close, and rightfully so, but my death... Cursed with the vile existence that I have. I reveled in the chance that I might hold onto some happiness. And instead, I corrupted, and turned, and nearly struck it from the face of the earth. I do not deserve you, and cannot continue to besmirch your life."

"You're not leaving." I stated. As if saying it out loud would make it so.

"I _am_ leaving. I have to leave you. And I'm doing my best to encourage my family to follow suit."

My stomach didn't just feel like it was rolling, it felt as though it was being swallowed into a hole. My brain started firing, rapidly.

"I'm as entangled in your life now as you are in mine. Your family is my family."

"I"m sorry that I complicated things so thoroughly. Believe me, it was not my intention to do so."

"Then what was your intention exactly? Because clearly it wasn't ever to keep me around, or I'd be like you by now." I snapped. A single splat of rain slapped me in the cheek.

"I don't want you to be like that. Like me. You're perfect as you are. And fragile. I just... I can't be around you anymore."

"You don't want me like that? Like you? You never wanted me immortal? Eternal love was just a saying to you then?"

Edward ran his hand through his hair.

"No. I didn't." He clenched and unclenched his fists. "If my family truly cared about what was best for you, then they wouldn't either."

"Don't speak for them."

"I won't. But I have warned them. I am leaving, and if they care about you in any form of the word, then they should too."

"Are you afraid I'm going to die if you stay? Because that seems silly to me."

"You nearly died already. Several times. I've brought nothing but danger into your life."

"And I don't know if you've bothered to notice, but I am unafraid of death." I spat back. I missed his mumbled retort and stepped closer to him. "Edward, I am not going to let you do this. You've imagined a scenario in which you are the most dangerous thing in my world. But you're wrong."

"What could be worse than me staying in your life?" Edward laughed, mercilessly.

"You leaving it." I retorted honestly. He closed his eyes.

"I _have_ to Bella. It isn't good for either of us."

My chest felt like it was being sucked away.

"There is nothing I can say to make you stay, is there?" I asked, hollowly.

"No."

My breathing halted for a short moment. Edward was leaving me. Even the promise of Alice's continued presence couldn't stop the torrent of emotions rolling through me. For once I wished direly for Jasper's intruding influence. Something to stop this void from forming. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on staying upright, staying calm. Wetness splashed my face again, and I wasn't sure if it was rain, or my own traitorous eyes. When I opened them, Edward was gone.

The forest around me seemed somehow both larger, and smaller. It felt empty and vast, and oppressive and claustrophobic at the same time. I backed into a tree close by, and rested my head back. I needed time to feel. To think. And to try not to at the same time. All of the progress we'd made, all of the things we had done together, grown together. We loved together, and had begun to think about life together. And he'd taken it all back, all away. He _had_ to. It wasn't _good_ for him. I wasn't good for him. Our love had apparently been very one sided. I was almost utterly obsessed with him, his family, and his future, being hopefully entangled with mine. I had been fooling myself.

My heart was sucked into the abyss as well. I sat, slumping against the tree, breathing hard and fast. My brain almost couldn't keep up. I closed my eyes and tried to empty myself, tried not to feel. Tried to take the sucking pain and push it away.

...

 _Exactly 24 miles away, the old woman died. Officially, anyway. Her spirit, if you could call it that, rose through the roof of the hospital and spun outwards, searching for the next empty host it could find. Last time, the host she had just left, had been surprisingly young, a brain-dead 12 year old. She had brought the shell to life, and lived it thoroughly and to great extent. But the two times before that, she had barely entered her new hosts, and integrated properly, before they had died anyway. Some of her lives were brief and confusing, some were long. Each was a gift, a treasure, and a loss. Her hosts were varied, and scattered across the country. Most recently, the western half of the united states. That was her soul's new hunting ground as it were. She spiraled out into a world, feeling, she was blind, skittering across the countryside, looking for an empty shell, feeling for the spark of life, without the accompanying sentience and emotion that shells tasted of. And suddenly she found one. It felt young, vibrantly alive, but empty, and void. She dove into the green forest, wrapping herself around the warm orange glow of a new shell._

 _When she opened her eyes she was confused, and in pain. The shell was empty, but not, as most shells were, in a hospital, a hospice, or even a home. She was standing in the middle of a forest. Her heart was beating quickly, as though she had just hiked out here. How could she be so vibrantly alive, and so mentally and emotionally void that her shell had called out for a soul? Where was her soul? Her mental tendrils began wrapping around the free shell, entirely of their own free will, a survival tactic, and yet, she was forced to the side, pushed out, to look at her new shell from the outside._

 _..._

When I opened my eyes, my head was filled with a ringing presence that caused lights to dance around the edges of my eyes. In front of me was a being, a girl, for what I could tell, with long black hair, coppery skin and strange green eyes. She looked almost transparent, and almost as confused as I was. When she spoke, her voice rang out from my mouth.

"What the hell?"


	84. Chapter 84

**AN: I've never read 'The Host'. I didn't know it was about possession to be honest with you! I feel like I should read the plot synopsis to make sure I'm not crossing any similar boundaries! I wasn't really going with that, more like the spirit walkers of Jacob's ancestry. Anywaaaayyyy... on we go.**

I was staring at this girl, staring back at me in confusion. Her skin was copper, her hair was dark black, and long. She looked like she belonged to the reservation, except for her eyes. They were an ethereal emerald that I hadn't seen before. Her outfit was simple, and upon further examination, I realized that she was wearing exactly what I was.

"What. The. Hell." She repeated. This time, it wasn't through my mouth, it was out of hers, though my mouth had twitched with the effort to not speak. She looked curiously at me, tilting her head as she looked me up and down. "I mean, you were empty. I felt it. You were vacant."

Her voice sounded like mine. Like mine had before I couldn't hear it properly anymore.

"What?" I asked, meekly, searching for some kind of explanation. I'd had a mental breakdown. A complete mental breakdown. I wasn't expecting that. When Edward had... My thought process was interrupted by the void in my chest scraping at my lungs. My breath was short. It was hard to breathe, hard to focus. The girl in front of me winced, grabbing her chest too.

"Jesus. Ouch." She reached forward to touch my chest, and I stood, immobile, slumped in pain against the tree. Her hand stopped where I expected it to, as if she were touching me, but I couldn't feel her. So she wasn't real. I was hallucinating something.

I looked around at my surroundings, and realized that I had no idea where I was. Edward had probably not taken me very far, but without being able to hear the sounds of civilization, I wasn't actually sure where I was anymore. I needed to get home. I turned around, to the direction I thought I'd come, and began to walk away. She jogged to keep up with me, darting around trees, and leaping over felled branches if they were in her way. I tried to not look at her and focus on where I was going. I needed to get home, to think, to process. A lot had happened in the past few minutes. Edward and I had... my thought train was again interrupted with stabbing pain, so much so that I had to slow down and catch my breath again. She slowed too, clutching her chest.

"Stop doing that. Whatever that is, it hurts like hell."

I tried to ignore her. I'd had a complete mental breakdown. I'd gone crazy. My mind had finally cracked on me, after all the things that had happened in my life, it was finally this that pushed me over the edge. I felt like I needed Alice. I felt like I needed my mother. I felt like I needed to restart today.

I looked around me, and the first note of panic slipped into my thoughts. I had no idea where I was. It hadn't been this long a trek into the woods. And I had apparently just gotten myself more lost. I patted my pockets for my phone, and I didn't have it. I bit my lip, and looked around. Should I climb a tree? Would that work? Surely Alice would come and find me, if she noticed I was lost. If she noticed. I'm sure she had one hell of a fight back on her end of town, with Edward, and undoubtedly the family fight and fallout. I'm sure Rosalie was making some excellent points about me. My breath caught again and I crumbled physically this time, scraping my knees on the way down.

"I asked you to stop that." She muttered, although I heard her as clearly as if I had thought the words myself. I risked a look at her. She was rubbing her chest again, as if I'd hurt her. "Whatever you're thinking about that does that. Stop it."

"I wasn't trying to." I muttered back. "I was trying to figure out where I am and how to get home."

"You don't know where we are?" She asked, astonished. I didn't answer, instead trying to see through the foliage, or figure out how to communicate with Alice. A tiny ripple flicked through my chest and she scowled at me.

"Sorry."

"Do you have a cell phone? GPS?"

"No."

"Why were you hiking alone without resources in a forest this dense?" She asked, her expression changing from crass to curious.

"I wasn't hiking alone." I laughed shortly. "I wasn't hiking at all. I just..." I trailed off, trying not to think about it, as the hollowness crept into my chest, shortening my breath again.

She winced, and pursed her lips. "Alright alright, we'll talk about this later. First things first. I'm going climbing. Move over."

Before I could ask what she meant, I had the dizzying sensation of movement, although I hadn't moved at all. Suddenly I was watching myself, my body, grab hold of the closest pine tree. I looked down at my hands and saw that I was the transparent figure beside my own body now. My head was reeling. I was going insane. I watched myself, in my muddy, wet shoes and coat, climb with ease, the tree beside me. She was using hand-holds, and maneuvers that I would not have spotted or known about. She scaled the tree efficiently, and I sat down, with what I was expecting to be a loud thump. Instead I made no sound, and didn't even feel the ground beneath me. I was having an out of body experience, quite literally.

I'd need to do some research on what the hell was happening to my mind. Some kind of schizophrenia? Some sporadic multiple personality disorder? I sat quietly, trying not to think. I probably needed Carlisle. He'd know what was going on with me. If he was even still in town. Had Edward managed to convince him to leave too? The pain crept up, but not so excruciatingly as before. Though my thought train had apparently still stirred some emotion in my body, as I heard a muttered curse from the tree above. I blinked. I'd heard a mutter from above? I took a moment to listen, and realized that I could _hear_. I could hear birds, hear rain splatters, hear the crack of the trees above as my body moved around the tree. My heart leaped, as I looked around, listening to the slight whistle of the wind, and the noises of the forest around me. Suddenly there was a loud thud beside me. I - rather, she - had dropped down and was staring at me.

"I can't see anything but more trees. Perhaps when it gets dark we'll be able to trace some light sources."

She looked around, confused for a moment, and then I got the dizzying sensation of movement again. Suddenly the world was quieter, I had switched places with her, and was now looking at the dark haired woman, sitting where I had been.

"Are you deaf?" She asked, rubbing her ears slightly. "The world is so much quieter in your body. I'll admit it's been a while since I was forced outside of one for any extended period of time, but I didn't think that my spirit form had such heightened senses."

"Yes. I was in a car accident a while ago. Lost a lot of my hearing." I didn't know exactly why I was answering my delusion, but also figured that I had nobody else to talk to, so I might as well. "What do you mean by 'spirit form'? Who are you?" It didn't seem like a regular kind of delusion - one that didn't even make sense to me.

She sighed, and twisted her hair with her fingers.

"You may as well sit down." she said, gesturing to a log nearby. "This could take a little bit to explain."

I sat down hard on the log, and although I didn't hear the noise, I felt the log this time. I wasn't sure whether or not I felt good about that tiny reassurance. A few moments ago I had sat down and not felt it. Something was certainly wrong with me.

She bit her lip, and thought hard. I could see her trying to collect her thoughts, and start at the beginning of the story, and suddenly, I caught flickers. Flickers of memories, fire, people, languages, death, hospitals. Memories that weren't mine were flashing before my eyes.

"I don't remember my name, my real name. It's been a while. My last name I'd rather not share with you. I hated that one." She squinted at the ground as she thought. "I was born a long time ago. Before the pale faces colonized this continent, that's for sure. The world was a simpler place back then, and the people knew more about how things worked outside of the natural realm. My people, my tribe, we were great warriors. I was the first female shaman in our tribe. Chosen so, because I could walk beyond my body."

She stopped and let go of her hair, it spun out until it lay flat again.

"I taught my warriors how to walk in the spirit world, outside of their bodies, and..." She cut herself off. "And we fought, and won our battles. We could gather intelligence secretly, travel quite the distance in our spirit forms, and we never worried about the ramifications. We conquered, and we were fearless."

"What happened?"

"It took years. Most of my tribal spirit warriors had retired to be with their loved ones, their soulmates. I was an old, and ambitious woman. I still threw myself around the neighboring tribes, hunting quietly, for power, for opportunity. One of the elders of one of those tribes we were at war with also slipped into the realms of supernatural. And they did something to combat my ferocity. I'm sure it was a curse of some kind. Some combative magic. All I know is that I was suddenly unable to find my body. I was thrown out into the world, searching for an empty vessel. I lost a lot of time. I tried to bind with people, but their souls, and emotions were too strong to host us both, so I had to search for empty vessels. People who's bodies had life, but who's souls were weakened, or gone. In more recent years, with the miracle of hospitals, it has been easy to find empty bodies, sometimes even young ones, where I could stay for a long time, before my host died."

"So what happened with me?" I asked. Now she looked flustered.

"That I don't know. My host died. I was thrown out into the adjacent spirit world, honing in towards the first empty vessel I came across. It doesn't look like this world when I'm evicted from a host. It's like a misty ocean, with orange blips of light scattered through. I needed the right kind of orange. I searched for that spark of life, that torrent of feelings usually present, and found nothing. So I attached. Once I'm grounded into a host I slip back into this world, and walk around as a grounded spirit again, the form you see me in now I suppose. It's just that usually I'm inside the host I attach to."

"But I wasn't vacant." I pointed out.

"No. No you weren't." She said, looking down at her hands.

"So are you leaving?" I asked. I didn't mean to be rude, but I had quite enough to deal with at the moment, without a guest in my brain.

"I don't think I can, to be honest with you. I don't have the strength right now. I need time to adjust, before I can leave again. I've just spent all my energy wrapping my mental tendrils around your form. I don't have the energy to undo all that work right now." She flexed her fingers. "I'm sorry. I swear I'll do what I can to get out of you when I can though. I'm not used to sharing."

"If other people's souls were too much to compete with, I don't see how you could have merged with mine." I stated, idly.

She looked at me, and stood up, walking over to look into my face. I wasn't sure what she saw, but her face darkened.

"Part of your soul is gone. I don't know where it is, but I'm guessing that's what the stabbing pain in your chest is. I've never felt anything like it."

My soul. My soul was damaged. And I knew exactly where the piece had gone.

It had left with my soulmate.


	85. Chapter 85

I spent the next long stretch of time, quietly staring at my delusion, while she stared, also silent at me. I had not given myself enough credit for how creative my brain could be under stress. During the most stressful, and painfully devastating moment of my life, my brain had brought to life a supernatural creature that _happened_ to latch on to my body? This creature providing me enough distraction to possibly help me calmly regroup and get control of my life and surroundings. It seemed unfathomably coincidental, and therefore, totally improbable and I was clearly going insane.

She looked real. She was not strangely beautiful like the Cullens, but was pleasant to look at. She had a strong jaw and cheekbones, she was very round-faced. Had I bumped into her on the street, I would have thought she had come from Jacob's reservation. There were imperfections though. Her lips were ever so slightly too wide for her face, and one of her eyebrows held a small scar. Her face appeared lined in some places, as if she were old, but also quite youthful. She seemed motherly, while also childish. Her apparel, rather unoriginal on my brain's front, was exactly mine, even down to the muddy shoes, and slightly scuffed jeans. It was like looking into a pane of glass, a clear reflection, though hazy and see through, and warped in the sense that it was not my face staring out of my own clothes. She was the same height as me, but her build was different, more muscular I suspected. The increase in rain interrupted my thoughts.

"It's getting wetter." She pointed out, obviously.

"It's raining." I responded. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"I was just trying to make conversation."

"I shouldn't talk to delusions. Or hallucinations, or whatever you count as." I said. She frowned, seeming concerned.

"So you don't believe I'm real?"

"Put yourself in my shoes. I'm lost, I'm stressed..."

"Stressed enough to go through a complete mental breakdown?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Yeah." I nodded. I definitely was.

"Fine. You don't believe me, but you might as well enjoy the company while I'm here." She shrugged. "Who else is there to talk to?"

The lady had a point. She seemed to sense my acquiescence, as she continued talking.

"So where are we? What town are we close to?" She asked.

"Forks." Upon retrieving a blank stare, I explained our location in relation to Tacoma, Port Angeles, and La Push.

"La Push? Quileute territory?" She asked, smiling. "Haven't been there in a while. It also explains why I stumbled onto you. I was over at Clallam Bay. It's north of here. About a half hour drive. I haven't hopped into a host that close in a long time."

"What do you mean?"

"My last host, when I found her body, was in Seattle. Previously I had been in good old Canada, just south of Vancouver. The spirit realm has strange distances, and what felt like a few minutes was actually hours of travel. This jump felt short, but I had assumed it was just perception again. In reality, I literally didn't go far to find you."

"So you aren't in the spirit realm now?" I asked. "You look very spirit-y." I said, dumbly.

"I'm, I guess..." She paused, looking for the right words. "A ghost dog, on a leash that's embedded into your body. You and I can switch places..." She took a breath, closed her eyes, and I had the dizzying and disruptive sensation of movement. Suddenly I was sitting, facing my body, and could hear a lot more of the forest around me.

"But then you're equally as tethered to me. I'm guessing that with practice I could hone my skills and go further, but for now..." My body paused again, and I was dizzily dropped into myself.

"Can you stop doing that?" I asked. "It hurts. And it isn't making me feel less crazy." My temples were swimming.

"Sorry." She said, looking anything but. "I promise not to kick you out of your own body. At least for now. I might need it later."

Something told me she wasn't kidding.

...

A few hours went by, with me being silent again, thinking. It certainly felt real. Did hallucinations usually take this kind of tone? Did they usually argue with their bearer? It was dark, and yet I could still see her, as if she came with her own illumination.

"Alright, hang on a moment." She said, and suddenly she climbed the tree. It made no noise, and no leaves were mussed on her way up. She dropped back down moments later. "there is light coming from that direction." She pointed to my left. "Do you mind if I leave you here, and run that way for a while? See if I can find town? If so, I'll be back and take us both there. I'd rather you stayed in one spot until someone finds us."

"I've got nothing else to do." I said. She smiled, and ran off. It may have been my imagination, but as soon as she had left my sight, I began to get cold.

I sat, now completely in the dark. As I continued to get rained on, I got colder, and pushed myself into a ball, against the tree beside me. Alice would probably find me, if I were going to die, right? She'd spent all that time saving my life, it seemed silly to let it freeze to death in a forest. I closed my eyes while I waited, cold, and tired, straining to hear anything I could, except the static pops of the rain around me. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep, until a warm breath of stinky air slammed me in the face. My eyes flickered open. Something insanely large, and furry was in my face. It snorted at me, and I blinked back, unmoving, aside from the shivers that involuntarily racked my form. I was freezing. I closed my eyes again.

I could finally answer a question I'd never asked myself... was it better to freeze, or to be eaten to death? Eaten would be less cold. As suddenly as my eyes closed, the warmth was gone, and I began to wonder if I'd imagined it. If I opened my eyes again, would the spirit lady be there? Would the wolf thing be there? Where was Alice?

Suddenly a searing hot hand touched my face. I jerked awake. I found myself looking into a dark shadow, with darker eyes.

"Bella? It's me, Sam Uley." He said in a loud booming voice. "Can you hear me?"

I nodded. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but my jaw was stuck.

"Can you stand?" he asked. I tensed my legs, but couldn't quite get them to work. He pulled up, and I managed to get into a shaky standing position.

"Would you mind if I carried you back? I know where we are, and can see quite well in the dark."

Normal me would have tensed immediately. Frozen me couldn't seem to answer him yet.

"Are you strong enough for a piggyback ride?"

I nodded, and he helped me climb onto his back. It wasn't until I tried to grab for a shirt to hold that I realised he wasn't wearing one. I dug my nails into my own sleeve instead, wrapping my fingers into the fabric as best I could. He had a tight grip on my thighs before he started to walk. He was so warm to be pressed against that I stopped shivering along the journey. I began idly wondering where the spirit lady was, and how she'd find me if now that I had left the tree.

"I won't be able to hear your response." I murmured. "But thank you, and I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes again for a little, and focused on being jostled around. I should be panicking. If I had been normal, I would have been panicking. But maybe my body was too far gone, my brain too far stretched for the day, to worry about being in control of my own momentum. Maybe my brain had finally had enough, for real. Soon, a blurring confusing amount of noise was around me. I jarred open my eyes, and found my eyes stung by a flashlight. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, and didn't really register anything until a gruff, and familiar sound and smell intruded.

"Dad?" I opened my eyes. He looked absolutely ill in the bright lights of what seemed to be a car, and a house. My house.

"Bella!" he yelled at me.

"I'm okay." I said. "Nothing to worry about. I just got lost." I didn't hear what he said in response. All I knew was that it suddenly got a lot brighter, as Sam moved us indoors, and he unhitched my arms from his neck. My fingers were painful to unwrap from the effort of holding on, and they physically required prying. Sam undid my grasp as if I were a baby. He carefully, with the help of Charlie, moved me to the couch, where a blanket was wrapped around me instantly. Billy Black was there, as was Doctor Snow. Where was Carlisle?

I answered basic questions, when they were directed at me. Charlie did his best to sign things to me. All secrecy was clearly out of the window.

"I went for a walk in the woods. I think I tripped up at some point, and got turned around. Then I panicked I guess. Especially when I couldn't find my phone. I thought I was heading back, but I wasn't sure, so I stopped. I wanted to wait until I could see light from the towns to head towards."

It seemed weak, but that was all I had. Alice would have come up with something better.

Where was Alice?


	86. Chapter 86

When I woke in the morning I had to re-cap everything that had happened to me the day before. Things weren't okay. Things were far from okay. I was alone, and yet confused and crowded. My head felt like a sledgehammer had taken a swing at it. I sat in my bed, and found that I was surprised by two things, two people to be precise.

Alice was on my bed, curled around me, in Edward's usual protective position. This was only slightly unusual. I figured that she'd be there for me... when she finally figured out what happened. The second person that surprised me was not on my bed, and seemed to have issues with Alice. The spirit lady was glowering at her from the desk chair. I stared in confusion at the desk chair. It's inhabitant was _very_ there.

I breathed in a big breath, trying to focus my attention on Alice. She stroked my hair, and pulled away from me, tucking herself nimbly into a seated position facing me so that she could sign at me.

 _Bella I'm so sorry._

"What?" I asked, still definitely out of it.

She winced, motioning quiet.

 _Charlie is awake, just next door._

 _Sorry_. I responded.

 _I should have seen you, I should have been looking. I didn't see you get lost. I didn't see anything. I couldn't find you until half the town were on the loose, and I saw Charlie bringing you inside. I saw his future, but not yours. I didn't see you get lost. I'm so sorry, and I feel like this is all my fault. I should have never have left you alone in the state you were in. In the discussion you were about to have. I didn't realize Edward was going to drag you into the forest for some privacy either. For as smart as he is, he's stupid._

At the mention of his name my chest lurched. Spirit lady rubbed hers, and looked more ticked off than she had previously.

"It's rude to converse in another language when you have more than one guest." She pointed out, quite loudly. I flinched, and noticed that Alice did not. She continued signing, and I tried not to listen to my hallucination, focusing on Alice instead.

 _I didn't see you get lost. I wasn't particularly looking, but I figured that meant your future was uneventful. Edward's was insane with grief and stupid decisions. I sent everyone I could after him. Emmett and Rose were out of town, ticked off by some choice words from Edward a few days ago._

She didn't realise it, but each time she mentioned his name, my chest gaped and my eyes tickled. My throat tightened and I felt as though I couldn't breathe.

"Will you ask her to stop that? It's painful." Spirit lady scolded. "Stupid vamp should know better."

My eyes darted over to her in shock. She knew what Alice was? Then I scolded myself. Of course she knew what Alice was. She was a figment of my imagination after all. I looked back at Alice, she was continuing her story.

 _The rest of us were halfway to Vancouver, chasing him when Esme got the phone call. She made up some bull story about us being in Port Angeles for a family gathering, and that we had no idea where you were. Esme and I doubled back to try and find you while the boys continued after Edward. Unfortunately, by the time we got back there were dozens of people combing the forests, and a good deal of them from La Push. If we'd have been found prowling around the forest at night, shit would have hit the fan. I started to scan through futures, after not finding yours, that is. I focused on Charlie, because obviously he'd be one of the first to know. When I finally knew you'd been found, I shot back here like a bullet. I hid - quite childishly - in your closet. You clambered up to bed, half asleep, Charlie wrapped around you for help. He got you settled in, and went back downstairs, to start phoning people about your rescue. As soon as I knew it was safe I couldn't help but try and soothe you. I should have been there, and I damn well will in the future. You're my sister and I'm not letting anything get in our way._

I tried to blink back tears, but instead I ended up hastening their retreat from my eyes. Alice leaned forward, pressing her cold body against mine in a hug. I hugged her for a while, crying, until I had got more of a hold on myself.

"Why do you think you couldn't see me?" I asked in a whisper.

 _I don't know. I still can't. I'm very confused. I'm clearly overworked._ She winked, jesting as best she could. I knew her, though. She was worried. I couldn't think of what to say. I knew I wanted to ask about Edward, but also, didn't want to start down a painful road, when another individual I loved was doing her best to soothe me.

"Well, I think I'm taking today off. Come visit me officially?" I asked, softly.

 _Of course._

I went to rub my nose and smelled dirt on my hands. I needed a shower.

"I'm going to go shower." I whispered. "Try and wake up, warm up." Alice nodded at me.

 _I'll be back then, officially, soon._

She gave me one last squeeze, and slid open the window. She took another worried look at me, and then in a blink of an eye, she was gone.

"You never told me you hung around with a vampire." Spirit lady said from the desk.

"You didn't come back. I figured maybe you were gone." I said, looking at her curiously.

"In this form I may have unlimited stamina, but not unlimited speed. At least not outgoing. I can't teleport to places. I actually made it all the way to La Push last night."

"You can teleport back?" I blinked at her.

"Sort of. I'd describe it as a retractable dog leash. If I relax, I come whizzing back to the start, but it's hard to pull away."

"Always the dog analogies." I frowned at her.

"What?" she shrugged. "I like dogs. Besides that, you very clearly redirected the conversation."

"The Cullen's are different." I started explaining.

"There are more of them?" She asked horrified.

"The doctor and his wife, five children, all sort of around my age." I said. "They don't drink from people, only animals. It's why their eyes are gold, and why they try to integrate themselves into society, as best they can. They really are a family. Don't judge them until you get to know them." Spirit lady sat there thoughtfully for a moment.

I realised that I had essentially been arguing with a figment of my imagination, and got up, and went to have a human minute. I took a tylenol, and hopped into the shower. When I was done, I opened the bathroom door, only to be surprised by Charlie.

"Hey kiddo. How are you?"

"I'm okay." I said, and signed. "I'm sorry I got lost, and scared you so badly yesterday."

He hugged me tightly, mumbling something I couldn't hear. When he pulled away he looked stern.

"If you EVER go hiking again-"

"I won't." I interrupted him. "I think I've been scarred enough, don't you?"

He shook his head at me, and suddenly whipped his head around. Clearly he'd heard something. Maybe the phone? He cantered downstairs, while I slipped into my room to get dressed. Spirit lady was there, peering at my book collection, in the muddy outfit from yesterday.

"Can you look away for a second?" I asked. She rolled her eyes, and turned towards my window.

"So who was the vamp in here today?"

"Her name is Alice." I muttered as I got dressed.

"And are you two a couple?" She asked blatantly. I dropped my t-shirt with surprise, then picked it back up again. "You two seemed pretty cozy last night, and were clearly fighting or making up about something this morning?"

"She's like my sister." I explained. "She has a mate. His name is Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett are a couple, and Carlisle and Esme are the parents." I explained. I sat on my bed, brushing my fingers through my hair so that I could braid it out of the way.

"You're missing one? You said there were seven?"

My chest gaped with a massive pain and Spirit lady looked shocked. It took me a second to catch my breath.

"Oh." She smiled sadly. "I see."

When I looked back at her, she was in the same clothes that I was.

"Shall we go get some breakfast? You did an awful lot of exercising yesterday, and I have some exploring to do."

"I thought you weren't staying?" I asked.

"Oh trust me, I'd rather not. I really want my own body. Your life seems complicated enough as it is, without me stuck inside of you."

"Can you please tell me your name?" I asked. "In my head you're the spirit lady, and it's kind of tiresome."

"No. Not until I find one I like. Seriously, my last host had an abysmal name. Not going to let it ruin my new life."

I blinked at her blankly, and then went downstairs. I guess if I was going to go crazy, I may as well have a complicated delusion spirit. Keep things interesting.


	87. Chapter 87

During breakfast I sat, watching my spirit lady explore the house.

"So were you born deaf?" She asked.

"No. Car accident." I responded. I started to think that maybe this was a blessing of sorts. I could focus wholeheartedly on my delusion, and not have to worry so much about everything else that had occurred. All of the things that had messed me up. I spent the next little while, whispering away the basic details of my life to her. She seemed fascinated, but somehow motherly about it. Her head turned towards the door suddenly.

"We've got company."

I frowned at her, I hadn't heard anything. Suddenly I saw Charlie barrel down the stairs, opening the front door. My delusion was not as hard of hearing as I, clearly. It was Alice, and Esme, both looking quite severe. Alice darted in, while Esme stayed to talk with Charlie by the door. Alice immediately whisked in and sat, directly on spirit lady, who hopped out through her, to lean against the counter. I watched her for a moment, before she jerked her head over to my latest guest.

"Huh? Sorry Alice."

"I said, Esme is here to officially report Edward's leaving to Alaska."

My stomach twisted with the name and the spirit lady cursed something awful.

"Okay." I said. That was all I could manage. "How are things otherwise?"

Alice blinked morosely at me. She began to sign about her family and the long fight they had been having, only broken up by the return of Carlisle and Esme to work. It sounded exhausting, being awake all the time. She told me about how she was looking ahead as best she could, but everything was blurry and uncertain, changing almost as fast as the weather.

"And I still can't see you at all." she said. "Pick a number."

"Three." I said. There were three of us in the kitchen, spirit lady included.

"See? I didn't know you were going to say that. And that's easy. Has something changed on your end?"

"Other than the obvious?" I snapped back. I flexed my fingers, and then laid my head in my hands. "No, sorry Alice. I'm sorry. I'm going crazy, and that's about it."

Any further explanations were unfortunately interrupted by the phone. I didn't hear it ring, but both Alice and spirit lady looked towards it, and Charlie came bustling in.

"You'd best go for the rest of today Alice." I said, my head spinning. "I'm not feeling great and I just need to sleep."

She stretched out her hand, resting it on mine. She was here when I needed, for as long as I needed. All I had to do was call. I nodded, with the understanding of the simple touch, both disgustingly familiar with the cold stone and unusually comforting, with the delicately small fingers. She got up to leave, worry evident on her face. I stared off into the window. I didn't want to catch Esme's eyes. She, of all the Cullens, looked the most like him. A few minutes later I knew they were gone. I felt the cold breeze of the damp outside swim through the living room, to the kitchen where I sat.

"Your dad wants you." Spirit lady chimed. I looked around quickly.

"Bella, I'm needed at the station. Some kids vandalised Newton's store, and they want me to come help em deal with it." He said, looking worriedly at me.

"Dad, go. I'm fine. I'm tired. All I want to do is sleep. I'm not going anywhere." I stared at his worried face. "Seriously. Are you going to start staying home every time I get injured or lost? Don't waste your holiday days. I'm okay."

It was enough of a pep talk to get him out of the door, although it took me putting my pyjamas back on to properly convince him.

"Promise, if you need me, you'll call Renee, or me?" he asked, jacket in hand, looking up at me sitting on the stairs.

"I promise." It was an empty promise. There was nothing either of them could do now. Spirit lady suddenly walked down from where she'd been waiting in my room. As Charlie shut the door, she began talking to me again.

"You actually going to sleep?"

"I'm going to try." I said, clambering upstairs, and into my bed. She waited at the base of my bed, regarding me for a moment.

"I think I'm going to go explore the town."

"Don't get lost." I added, sarcastically. She flipped me a middle finger, as she disappeared out of my room again.

And suddenly I was alone. Truly alone. I tried to push all of the feelings, all of the hurt, and tuck it away, but it was more than that. I wasn't some love-scorned girl. I was having physically painful reactions to this event. My body felt as though part of me had left. A phantom limb, spasming with pain. I closed my eyes, and lay down. Sleep was a solitude. Away from having to not feel, having to save face, having to talk to anyone. I ducked my head under my pillow, and began to breathe as deeply as I could, counting invisible sheep, to send me to sleep.

 _My dream was back, and different. I was in Edward's car, I was driving it, and I couldn't find any of the pedals. I was speeding down a forest-lined road in the dark and the rain. I was looking for something, for someone. I caught flashes of him, of Edward, as he ran beside the vehicle. Suddenly he was gone as quickly as he had appeared, and a flash appeared in the road. A pasty white figure with flaming red ringlets, and redder eyes. She tossed the car like it was nothing and I flew through the air, my hair rolling in windmills around my face as I spun listlessly in the car._

I screamed myself awake, and noticed, with true and equally confusing terror, that my bedroom was ablaze in flames.

I looked around me, it was encircling the bed, leaping from item to item in my room, as though gasoline were lighting the way. Nothing had reached my actual bed yet, but all four walls of my room were on fire. The only escape that I could see was the window behind me. I launched myself to it, coughing with the smoke I had inhaled in the process. I wrenched it open and looked out. If I really jumped from here I could possibly grab onto the tree, but I had no idea if I could physically do that. It was a do or die at this point though.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Spirit Lady was instantly beside me, looking out the window too.

"I don't suppose you..." She started, looking towards the bedroom door, and then shook herself off. "Perhaps you've had enough excitement for one weekend. Shit." She turned around again, peering out of the window again. "Switch places with me. I think I can make that."

I had the unwilling, and disorienting feeling of movement, and I was standing beside myself, engulfed in flames that were tickling through the spirit version of myself. I saw my body, surprisingly nimble, climb out to the outside of my window, standing up against the house, my back towards the tree. I bent my knees slightly, crouching, using the top of the window frame to hold on as I prepared to spring backwards. I was kind of glad Spirit Lady was in charge of this maneuver. I would have not thought about leaping backwards, nor been so calm in the execution. I was fucking panicking, to be honest. My house was on fire. She crouched further in my body, mumbling curses and pushed off, jumping backwards, and twisting as she flew in the air. She gripped expertly onto the closest branch, and used her momentum to swing herself down to a lower one. That one she held onto for dear life. She looked up at me, watching her from the window.

"You coming?" she mutttered.

The sensation of motion as we switched again, nearly knocked me in my real body out of the tree. Spirit lady disappeared from the window, walking through the house, and came out, around the front of the house, calling up to me. In the time that she was gone, I tried to mentally catch up to what was going on.

"I have two bits of good news, and two bits of bad news." Spirit lady piped up, from the ground. "You're not hurt, and neither is Charlie. Every electrical appliance in your house suddenly caught fire, so the investigation will likely associate it to a power surge and a shit ton of bad luck." She paused before delivering the bad news. "The bad news is, you burned down your house, and now, it's unlikely that I'll be able to disentangle myself from you."

The last two statements made no sense whatsoever. I slowly made my way down from the tree, slipping and scraping myself a few times before I hit the ground. It, for once, in the history of this miserable and damp town, wasn't even raining. Nothing seemed to be slowing the all-engulfing flame that was eating my childhood home. Neighbours had finally caught notice, and I could see movement out of the corner of my vision. I sat down on the grass, slightly scraped, but none worse for wear, considering.

Spirit Lady however, seemed to have gone insane. She cursed, and paced, and pulled at her hair while muttering on about 'shouldn't have's and 'impossible's. I was dimly aware of someone pulling me away, wrapping me in an oversized coat, and standing with me in the road. All I could look at was the yellow hotness, that was blackening the white and green house that I had known since forever, with an angry aboriginal lady storming around outside, unseen.

 _You burned down your house_. She had said. What kind of statement was that to make? I'd been asleep, specifically in the thralls of a nightmare. Or had I? Perhaps I really had managed to have some kind of epic psychotic break. My thoughts were interrupted by flashing, and noise. I was suddenly being shook, and I turned around quickly to see the panicked face of Charlie, squeezing me tightly, like he worried that I wasn't really there.

"Are you hurt?" he managed to pull away from me long enough to say.

"No. I got out through the window. Thank fuck that tree's there." I flinched as a large portion of the roof at the front caved in. More lights were flashing, and now firefighters were running to and from the house. I could barely see it all though, smushed against Charlie's chest as I was. He pulled me over to his cruiser, parked diagonally and quite unceremoniously in the road. He opened the passenger door, and sat me in it, taking off his own jacket to wrap it around my feet. I hadn't even noticed that they were bare, and cold. I pulled the stranger's jacket closer around me, and sat, in the car door entrance, watching Charlie now. I had seen enough of the house burning down to last a lifetime. I thought that it couldn't possibly get any worse, but I was wrong. Watching Charlie watch his home destroy itself in flame was worse. He looked thoroughly wounded. He kept a hand firmly attached to me, as if reassuring himself that what really mattered was fine. But he was hurting.

If the spirit lady was right, and this was somehow my fault, I would spend every waking hour trying to make it better.


	88. Chapter 88

It wasn't long before I was shocked out of my quiet reverie by Carlisle, poking at me in concern. I blinked hard, trying to focus on him.

"... seems like you're both in a little bit of shock." Carlisle was saying, to Charlie. "Understandably, of course. But you will both be fine. I'm exceptionally surprised that Bella managed to escape unscathed."

He smiled down at me. "Aside from the scrapes of course."

His eyes were still worried, and he stared into mine. He began signing at me, angling his body between Charlie and his hands. _You're remarkably calm about this. At least your father appears to be panicking in some way. You aren't in any kind of shock I've ever seen, you just seem... distant._

I bit at my lip for a little. How could I possibly respond to that? I was trying very hard to feel something about it. Mild panic seemed like a great idea, but other than pain, the most emotion I had felt since - well since Edward - was terror, and I wasn't exactly terrified right now. I was saved having to answer him by Esme interjecting.

"We would like to invite you both to stay at our house, until you get back on your feet. Between all of the bodies we have in our house we should have more than enough clothes for you, and we certainly have available beds." Charlie looked extremely hesitant. "Bella has certainly been there enough that she should feel more than welcome."

That seemed to tip his hat.

"Just for a few days." He said something else, but I missed it. I had caught sight of the spirit lady strolling towards me, looking angry, and for once, tired. I tilted my head, to ask what was wrong.

"Oh nothing. It just seems like we're going to be hanging out for a lot longer than I had expected. It's fine - really - I haven't had this much excitement since I was a tribesman, but I know that this won't be easy for you. In fact, this will be fucking hard." She ran her hands through her dark, straight hair. "For the next little bit, I suppose I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on you than I thought."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Just until we talk some more." She raised her hands defensively. "Regardless, we're going to vamp city for the next few days, and I'd say that is more important than anything I've got to say for the next little while."

This time I rolled my eyes at her. It figures that my delusional spirit guide would be afraid of vampires. Everyone else seemed to be.

According to Charlie, we weren't going to be allowed into the house to search for things until the fire chief had officially cleared it. My truck keys, buried somewhere inside, made my pickup truck now a rather rusted lawn ornament. Charlie's cruiser was working perfectly fine with it's keys having been on Charlie, and that was what drove us to the Cullen household now. As we made our way up the winding driveway, following Carlisle's black BMW I felt the hole in my chest growing, and my palms began to sweat. Spirit lady, sitting in the back, suddenly frowned, focusing on me.

"Shove over for a second." She said, a note of panic flickering in her voice. I barely had time to register what she said before I was sitting in the back of the cruiser, looking at myself. My body clapped her palms together quickly, rubbing her fingers furiously, with an intense look on her face.

"Cold kiddo?" Charlie muttered, turning up the heat in the car.

"Yeah, thanks." I saw myself respond. I sat in the back, watching my body relax a little, stretch out her fingers, and instead look up out at the window. I could see the Cullen mansion, white, and remarkably cold looking for the first time. I was kind of glad that the spirit lady was driving. It meant I didn't have to worry about saving face, or worrying about what to say. I could rest. When Charlie and my body got out of the car, I followed, realising afterwards that I had in fact shifted through the closed car door, in my attempt to keep up with them.

Carlisle and Esme greeted us again, beginning to show Charlie around the house. They had one guest bedroom, that I could recall, and they showed Charlie straight to it, after giving him the general tour.

"You said that three of your kids were out, going up to Alaska?" Charlie said. I tuned in to hear their response.

"Rosalie, Emmett and Edward, yes. Alice and Jasper are still with us." Esme looked over towards my body, apologetically. "Alice and Bella will be sharing a room, I hope that's alright?"

"Yes, of course." I said automatically, and then remembered that she couldn't hear me.

"Yes, of course." My body repeated in the same tone. It sounded like an abstract echo. Very disconcerting.

"I'm going to go about the business of cooking us all some dinner, Carlisle can help you settle in, and scrounge up some clothes." Esme smiled warmly, making Charlie flush slightly. He definitely wasn't used to the Cullen cordiality and hospitality.

"It isn't necessary..." he began, and was cut off by her.

"Bella, you're welcome to help me, or Carlisle if you'd like, unless you'd prefer to get settled in with Alice? I know she's worried about you."

"Where is she?" I asked, and spirit lady repeated for me.

"Probably upstairs. She's been a mess since she heard." Carlisle added in, sadly. "We're glad Jasper decided to stay here, I know he's helping her."

We relayed that we'd go to see Alice, and Charlie went off with Carlisle. I trudged up the stairs beside my body.

"Can I do this bit?" I asked. She nodded, and I tripped over a step as I was disorientingly dropped back into my body.

"Sorry." Spirit lady piped. "Should have waited until we reached the landing."

I signed a very obvious, 'you' 'read' and 'signing'. I hoped it would get the message across. Particularly in this house, whispered conversations would be overheard. She sighed, obnoxiously loudly.

"I suppose I'll have to learn. Either that or you start getting better at charades." She stopped in the hallway, obviously having no idea where to go. My eyes strayed naturally to the door I'd always head to. It opened suddenly and the resident hole in my chest screamed for a moment, my head reeling. Jasper came out of it, smiling sadly at me.

"Good afternoon, Bella. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to confuse you." Jasper waited while I composed myself. I bent over slightly with the effort, kneading my chest. He frowned at me, feeling, and shook himself slightly. "I don't know if this is any consolation to you... but that's an impressively strong emotion. I would have expected something of that magnitude from one of us. You've shocked me today." he smiled.

"Glad I could help." I whispered, breathlessly, trying to regain my focus. I looked towards his usual bedroom, opening my mouth to inquire.

 _Yes, you two will be bunking up in there._ He signed.

"I'm sorry." I responded, looking at him.

"For your house burning down?" he asked aloud, "What a queer thing to be sorry for."

"Not particularly." Spirit lady jabbed, unheard. Annoyance flickered in me, and Jasper frowned, confused again.

"I mean, for taking your room. For kicking you our of your sanctuary." I clarified, as I walked over to the aforementioned room. I tilted my head in question towards the door, and Jasper frowned again.

 _Not okay. She can't see you, and it's scaring her. Not to mention that you seem to be in 'danger mode' again._ He signed.

"That's hardly my fault."

He shrugged and smiled. "It certainly keeps things interesting." _She'll need some help though._ He signed afterwards. I nodded, and opened the door. Alice was sitting, staring out at Charlie's cruiser on the driveway. I had to walk all the way over to her, sitting right beside her, and poke her before she responded, speaking clearly, but quietly enough that I had to lip read to be sure I caught everything.

"I didn't see it Bella. I didn't see you get lost in the woods. I didn't see you in your house, surrounded by god damned fire. I couldn't even see your arrival here, were it not for Charlie coming too."

"It's okay, Alice. It's not your fault."

"She can see things like that normally?" Spirit lady asked, intrigued. I ignored her.

"Sounds like you're going to have to get more creative then. Stop trying to look for me, and look for those I'm attached to. I guess right now that should be the easiest thing." I said, trying to reassure her.

"I've been speculating on why. I can see other humans still, and even Edward still -" my chest gaped again, "- but I can't seem to see you anymore." She grabbed her head. "Do you think I'm losing my gift? Do you think I'm losing my mind?"

"Okay, first of all, no one is losing any minds here." Except perhaps me. "And secondly, Alice, don't fret about this, okay? You could drive yourself crazy. Just try and relax, and let things take their course, okay?"

"Tell her to try meditation. Works for me." Spirit lady chimed in. I repeated the message.

"Maybe try meditation?"

She suddenly sat up, ramrod straight.

"I'm so sorry Bella. Your house burned down, and you're comforting _me_?!" She was so outraged at her lack of sense there, that I almost smiled. I tried really hard to.

And then spirit lady piped up.

"Can we explore the house?" I looked at her like she was crazy for asking. My eyes flickered over to the door, gesturing that she could leave, and she shook her head.

"Oh no. I told you, I can't leave you alone. You might set something else on fire, particularly in your current emotional climate." She said dismissively. Shock and hurt filled my body again. I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, when Alice interrupted my thoughts.

"What's wrong Bella?" she asked, worried, starting at me. Jasper came into the room, staring in quiet bemusement. I was beginning to feel like the circus show I was turning into.

"Nothing. I think I need some air."

They could tell that I meant to be by myself, and watched me go. I made my way down to the front porch and sat, waiting for spirit lady to join me, in a seated fashion. I motioned that I wanted to switch places and she sighed.

"All right. Ask away." she said, before I was greeted with the dizzying movement that meant I was no longer physical.

"What the hell do you keep going on about?"


	89. Chapter 89

She looked at me for a second, thinking, then I dizzied back into my own body. Spirit lady sat beside me flexing her fingers.

"Okay, so, remember how I told you about my tribe?" She started. I raised my eyebrow for her to continue. "Well, I told you that I learned how to walk outside my body. With that come certain oddities. Other than being a spirit, I mean."

She stood, and began pacing, tossing her long hair back over her shoulders.

"One of the tribes we fought with had similar powers you know. Spirit walkers. I was excited actually when you said we were close to La Push territory. They're the wolves." She looked off, into the distant forest. "At least they used to be."

"Will you start at the beginning please?" I muttered, as quietly as I could manage. She smiled, and stopped pacing, turning to face me again.

"Okay. I'll tell it in order, but don't interrupt. Save your questions, okay?" She sat, cross legged, facing me on the porch. I mimicked her pose. We sat, as if starting a yoga class, staring each other down.

"Back when I was that female shaman, I learned how to spirit walk. We figured out that certain lineages of people, of those spirit walkers could also connect, with the earth, or elements in certain ways. La Push walkers joined with wolves, taking their forms, and an incredible hierarchy of power, protection and health. I met walkers up in Huron territory, in Canada, who became oniont - serpent like creatures that lived in lake Huron. They could heal themselves and others - not of their lineage. There was only a small family that could do that, and I don't think the line survived."

"My tribe found that a few of us - all my direct descendants and relatives, had the incredible ability to create fire. It's why we were so successful as fighters. With a bucket-load of emotional control and focus, we can emit heat, and sparks sometimes. I'm hundreds of years old don't forget. If I want to I can light cigarettes with the snap of my fingers. I can start a campfire with a clap. I've burned down a house." She stopped, and smirked at me.

"Two houses, if you count yours."

"You did that?" I whispered through my teeth.

"No, _you_ did. I'm not sure what happened in that small time. I was barely a few streets over when I felt the drain of a massive surge of power. I pop back as fast as I can and your whole house is going up like it's cotton." She smiled sadly. "Then later, in the car, you nearly lit your dad's dashboard on fire. I switched out just in time."

She eyed me, and my gaping mouth. "Alright, your turn."

We spun into each other's places and I blinked a few times.

"I had a nightmare." I explained, lamely. She frowned.

"A fucking strong one then." She whispered.

"I guess. I'm sorry. I guess I'm having a hard time. I'm trying really hard. I'm trying to keep things together. I'm struggling more than I thought I would." I admitted. Being the spirit version of myself I actually felt slightly sick. I had more sound around me, but less sensation. I couldn't smell anything, or feel the wind, or the damp. Spirit lady frowned, and I suddenly found myself physical again.

"I'm going to second the Texan blondie on this one actually. You impress me with the depth of your emotional spectrum. I'm still relatively sure that the only reason I ended up in your body is the absolute depravity your body was in when I passed it. In that period you had sucessfully managed to literally numb your entire emotional spectrum so deeply that I thought your soul was gone. It's back now, obviously, feeling painful every time you see anything that reminds you of him. I appreciate the gesture that your family has here, inviting you in again, but I'll be honest, it's painful, and if I'm not on my guard, it could be dangerous."

I tilted my head, to ask how, and she responded instantly.

"Well I'll need to be on you like stink on a skunk while we're here, else you might start a fire."

I motioned for another switch, and she obliged.

"First off, I want to learn how to do that without needing you. Second, if we are going to be stuck together I seriously need to give you a name."

We switched back, and she giggled. "I'll treat you to the Spirit Walking 101 course."

I stared at her for a second. She seemed to be actually enjoying this. I asked for a switch again and clutched my spirit head slightly.

"One more question. You said, back at my house, that you might not be able to disentangle yourself from me now?" I asked. She winced and sighed, dropping her head. I found myself back in my physical body. I rubbed my real temples this time as I tried to focus on not being dizzy. She stood up and moved closer, crouching in front of me. I stared into her eyes, and she began to talk again.

"Twice, I've found myself a body that wasn't one I wanted to live in. Once, I was a vegetable. Quadraplegic. Because I'd only just tied myself down I was able to disconnect - with great effort mind you - out into the void again. The second time, I was actually in my host body for a few days, used my fire talents and such haphazardly. Then I got into a totally unrelated boat accident and lost my spinal control below the waist. I tried to pull away but couldn't. I realised after a bucket-load of introspection that my spirit body had tied itself in a strange chemical way to the actual cells of my host body. The only difference between the two hosts was whether I'd tied myself fully with the use of my powers. So, because we've used my special talents, unfortunately..." She trailed off.

For a second I wasn't sure what she meant. A split, joyful second. Then it clicked.

"You're stuck." I responded, aloud. A small shiver rolled down my spine. I was to live with her, for the rest of my life.

"Until you die." She said, sadly, unknowingly mirroring my thoughts. "I've been thinking about whether I could teach you how to control yourself with the fire part, and try and leave, to explore for the rest of your life. So you'd have some semblance of privacy. But you're quite young. That's potentially 60 years of solitude for me."

Decades of solitude. I had heard the stories of Carlisle's beginnings, of the years he spent wandering alone, exploring the wilderness. His spirituality, and his occasional contact with another vampire was what had kept him sane. What had kept him grounded. She would have less than that. Floating around, unseen, unheard, unfeeling and even unable to smell. She would be as good as dead. Sixty years. Anyone would go insane.

"You'd go crazy." I whispered. Spirit lady smiled back.

"Possibly. But since I am the intruder here, and this is your body, I've half a mind to do it. I've lived a long and fruitful life." She gazed back at the house behind me. "Lots of them, you could even say. What right have I to impose myself on the single precious life that you have?"

She shook herself slightly, looking back at me. "Anyway... we'll burn that bridge when we get to it. For now, you need some privacy, and some lessons."

I raised my eyebrows, and tilted my head back at the house. I would have neither, for a while. She nodded her understanding and stood.

"How about a name for the time being then? I've been playing around with your mothers' names actually. They're both pretty unique. Renee, and Esme... I'd like something along those lines, but also, something truly unique. I am, after all, a singular individual."

We sat quietly for a moment as she studied me, trying to gather my thoughts. I motioned for a switch, and she obliged. Once again I could hear everything, and feel nothing.

"How about Renesmee?" I smashed the names together. "You have aspects of both of them you know. You have the throwaway carelessness of Renee, with the wisdom and agelessness of Esme."

"Renesmee." She muttered, pulling her face into a disapproving frown. I found myself sitting back on the porch, watching her mull it over. The solid wood beneath me was cold and damp, and seeping into my muscles.

"Yeah sure." She finally agreed, sweeping her long black hair over her shoulder. "It's weird. Unique. Like me. And it still isn't as bad as my last host's name."

...

When I went inside, Jasper was eyeing me, peculiarly. We'd never been particularly close before, and he had often kept his distance, but the way he was watching me made me feel as though I were a walking medical mystery. I was guessing that his powers were feeling the flip-flop of neutrally worried, and devastatingly numb beings that switched up inside my body. Perhaps he had never felt anything like this before. Perhaps he thought that his powers were going haywire too. Or perhaps he just thought that I was going insane. I was still - aside from the large chunk of evidence that was my burned down house - only semi-convinced that I wasn't.

Spiri - I mean, Renesmee, turned towards me and irked her head towards the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready. Esme's telling Charlie to fetch you. Might as well head that direction." I envied her hearing in that spirit body. I walked, grimly, towards the kitchen. Would I be expected to make conversation? To tell my epic adventure of escape? Renesmee caught sight of my face as we walked, and reassured me.

"If you need me to step in, just rub your ears, okay? I'll do the talking. You've had a long few days." She disappeared through the door ahead of me and I pushed it open, nearly running smack into Charlie. I took a few moments to regain my balance, as he grabbed my elbows to steady me.

Dinner was a quiet affair, in front of the televison. A careful observer - which Charlie was not, when confronted with a large high definition TV playing sports - would have noticed that the Cullens did not eat. I hardly did either. I pushed my food around my plate, and tried not to sleep. I was tired, but the last thing I wanted to do was set off another nightmare and burn down the Cullen house. I looked around sleepily for Renesmee. She looked straight at me and smiled.

"You can sleep, love. I'm watching."


	90. Chapter 90

Renesmee was true to her word. The next few days - all of which were spent at the Cullen household while Charlie got the house stuff sorted out - she spent her nights in my body so that I could rest without risk of setting everything on fire. She spent those nights talking with the Cullens, as apparently she needed less sleep than I.

"I'm picking up ASL pretty quickly I think." She explained to me as I ate breakfast a few mornings later. "There are a bunch of signs that I've had to look up, but contextually speaking, and since I've always had a knack for languages, I think I'm getting conversational. Admittedly, the others are expecting me, rather _you_ , to be much better at it, so I've resorted to being pretty quiet." Renesmee peered at Jasper as he came through the kitchen door. She waited in his path until he had passed through her before she turned to speak again.

"Jasper picks up on a little too much though. It's why I'm mostly trying to leave you in control during the days now. I'm hoping he'll attribute our emotional shifts to tiredness or something similar."

I blinked at her from behind the bowl. "I think I'm going to go see Jacob today." I announced to the Cullen family. Then it occurred to me that I was without a vehicle. "Could I borrow a car, or catch a ride to the border?"

"What border?" Renesmee asked. "How far does he live exactly?"

"Of course Bella. You can borrow my car. It should be the least intimidating for you." Esme piped up, winking. I smiled at her as she placed the keys beside me. Jasper and Carlisle exchanged uncomfortable glances. I wondered what they were worried about. I looked over at Alice, but she was staring off, into the knew what I was in for.

Rose had the red sports car, Emmett had the jeep, Carlisle the mercedes, but as it turned out, Esme had opted for simple, a blue SUV. Not too old, but new enough to have bells and whistles that I didn't understand, and it was of course, immaculate inside. I was probably the first batch of dirt aside from groceries that had ever been inside it. As wonderful as the Cullens were, the further I got away from their house, the freer I felt. It was as though I had managed to break through a shiny film of 'careful'. They were careful around me, careful around Charlie, staging and being delicate wherever they could. As Charlie was at work, and I'd managed to get myself out of the house, I had no doubt that they may pop out for a quick hunt, or just relax. I knew they'd never admit that we were a strain.

It didn't take long to drive to Jacob's. Renesmee bombarded me with questions about the border, the treaty, the wolves she seemed to think existed in La Push, and etc. She couldn't wait to meet Jacob actually. We pulled up beside Jacob's house, and without the insanely loud rumble of the usual pickup - no one came to greet me.

"The one thing I would do... and I mean, it's totally up to you, but it probably will aggravate rather than assist matters..."

"Why are you prattling?" I asked, still enthused that I could ask her questions aloud, without fear of being overheard by everyone in the household.

"Well your _neck_." She pointed out. I froze in shock, my hand leaving the steering wheel it had been resting on to feel my neck. The half-dozen stitches were there, holding my neck closed along a clearly crescent-shaped mark. It was a relatively low bite, close to the collarbone. I pulled my shirt collar in, and did all of the buttons up. It felt a little ridiculous, being buttoned up all the way, but at least it tucked away the injury. His last mark on me. My chest threatened to rip open again and I took a few deep breaths.

"Is that him?" Renesmee asked abruptly. My eyes flicked open.

"No, that's Sam."

I hopped out of the vehicle. As I approached, Sam's nose twitched, as though he could smell something bad, and a frown appeared.

"Good morning, Sam." I said, smiling. He nodded back.

"I'm sorry about your house. Are you okay?" His voice rang like Jacob's... loud and clear.

"Yeah Charlie and I were both unhurt. It's been a wild week huh?" I tried to joke. It felt flat. Renesmee walked straight up to Sam, examining him closely.

"Does he have a tattoo? If he does I could totally be proved right."

I tried to ignore her, and continued. "I wanted to thank you. For finding me in the woods." I said. "I might have frozen to death otherwise."

"Nah... I'd eventually have lit a fire." Renesmee piped up again. She was far too happy and relaxed being here.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're safe. Where are you staying in the meantime?" he asked, eyeing my new SUV suspiciously.

"The Cullens opened their home to Charlie and I. They've got plenty of room, clothes, and even extra cars for us to utilise until we get back on our feet." I saw the suppressed look of disgust flicker across his face, before he smiled.

"I'm glad you're set up for now, but please know, that you're always welcome here. Any of us would be glad to help you through this time." He looked truly sincere and I smiled, gratefully at him.

"Thanks Sam."

He flinched, and looked towards the house he had come out of, I had clearly missed a noise. Jacob stood there, looking happy as a bowl of hamsters that I was here. He ran over instantly, hugging me tightly. I could hear him mumbling away, and I knew I was missing speech.

"He said he's super happy you're alive and okay, and he couldn't believe that you managed to get lost in the woods and lose your house in one week, but that he can also totally believe it because it's you." Renesmee recapped. Unlike when she repeated what the Cullen's said to me, she seemed lighter and happier, even comfortable with these people. I wondered just how difficult it was for her to be around vampires, coming from tribes that had so clearly opposed them in the past. I'd have to make a habit of coming out here.

Jacob pulled back, looking concerned when I didn't immediately respond. "Did you hear any of that?"

"I got the gist. Thanks Jake."

Sam continued his exit, still eyeing the SUV like it was going to explode. Jacob whistled at the car, and joked that I'd clearly lied about the value of my truck to my insurance company. I laughed and explained that I was borrowing it from Esme.

"That'd explain why Sam thought it was about to explode."

"Yeah, he's about as subtle as a brick." I laughed back. I was immediately invited in, and asked to recount my epic adventures to both Jacob and Billy, and how I thought the fire had started. I explained about the electrical stuff, and showed off the meager scratches on my hands and knees from my tree escapade. Renesmee, in her typical fashion, went exploring. Obviously it didn't take as long as it did in the Cullen's house, as three of Jacob's houses could have fit comfortably in theirs.

"I like this place. Can we sleep here instead? It's comfy. Much more up my alley."

I raised my eyebrows sarcastically at her, while Jacob began talking about his school, and the news of the police chief's house going ablaze.

"By the end of the day, half of us thought that a rebellious gang led by someone lame like Newton had chucked a molotov inside to increase the sales of the town's newspaper or something."

"I'm pretty sure that's free, so that theory's out." I laughed, and he recounted in mock horror.

It did feel good to be here. It was messy, and cramped, and warm, and smelled of slightly burnt food and cigarettes. If Charlie and I tried to stay here, one of us would end up sleeping on the recliner, and the other on the couch that was certainly too short for Jacob. But I could almost picture it. I wasn't sure if it was the relaxed state that Renesmee was suddenly in, or the fact that the house was so opposite to everything the Cullen's had... but my chest eased slightly.

I had hoped that the feeling of Jacob and his home would follow me as I returned that night to the comfy, spacious bed that I was 'sharing' with Alice at the Cullen house. Their home still felt like a home, but one that had experienced a great loss. Half of their family was missing, one of them possibly permanently. The house was less crowded than ever, and felt more clinical than it ever had in all the time I had known Esme. Suddenly I understood the expression she had been walking around with, if I caught her in my spirit form.

It was mourning.


	91. Chapter 91

_Bella was lost in the woods and her house burnt down. You really think that leaving has been the best thing to do?_ I blinked at the text being typed on Alice's tiny little phone screen. She was unaware I was here. In the spirit form I was soundless, and godly in my surveillance powers. I hadn't meant to spy, I had just been looking around the house, now able to closely inspect all the details I had ever previously missed. I was actually on my way through Alice's closet when Alice had walked in and grabbed her phone from the bedside table. She had muttered about texts from Rosalie, and that had caught my interest too. After that... well I was shocked that she was trying to text _him_. Trying to reach out to him, using what... sympathy? She sent the text and received no reply. She threw her phone down on the bed, exasperatedly. Jasper approached her, walking unbeknownst through me, to rest his hands on her shoulders, and massage them gently.

"You aren't going to get a response." He mumbled to her.

"I'm supposed to be the psychic here." She muttered back. "Although that's been on the fritz recently. Once an assured gift, I seem to be devolving. Where's Bella?"

"Watching Esme cook." His hands paused on her shoulders and she turned to look at him, questioningly. "I'm... I'm not sure. Something's wrong."

"What do you mean exactly?" Alice pressed, analyzing.

"Since Edward left..." A twist of emotions ran through me, and I was infinitely glad I wasn't in my actual body. I'd probably have burned down the house. "She's been..." Jasper searched for the right word. "Bipolar."

"Bipolar?" Alice asked, looking dubious.

"Yes." Jasper nodded. "Bipolar. Or something along those lines. It's like she's two separate people and I can't believe the divide is so clear."

"How do you mean?" She prompted. He breathed for a moment, searching, and then continued.

"You know that I can reach out, into this house, and tell who is where by feeling them. Esme has a different feeling to Carlisle, to you, to Bella. Well now Bella has a different feeling too."

"She did nearly die three times in a week. Her family, the people she relies most on to save her managed to let her down two of those times, and the love of her life walked out on the other one. I'm not surprised she feels different." Alice muttered, again unhappy about her lack of vision.

"No, you aren't understanding me. One part of Bella, is Bella, hyped up with uncertainty, loss, depravity, confusion, everything I expect. Even being here is unsettling to her. But the other part..." He looked down to his left, where I was assuming Renesmee was downstairs. "It feels old. Calm. Angry. Patient. Curious. Insatiable. Do you feel it?"

"Yes. Is she like that now?" Alice asked, looking at Jasper with understanding. I realised that he had been copying my emotional climates, and sharing them with Alice. She had felt what he felt from me, and from Renesmee.

"Yes. She's like that now. I've never felt anything like it. Except maybe Carlisle." He amended. Alice looked down at her phone.

"So what? Do I text him that she's had some kind of psychotic break?" She asked. Jasper smiled.

"No. It isn't that. I'm not sure what it is... but it isn't that."

I left the room at that point. What was I going to do? I could ask Renesmee to stay in spirit form while Jasper was around, but then what happened when I needed to sleep? The last thing I wanted to do was burn the Cullen household down. The days until we had our own place again were innumerable and potentially vast. Alice was going crazy with me around. As her best friend she wanted to spend time with me, but the longer she was around me, the more she looked like she needed a fix of a drug of some kind. She would get anxious, agitated, eager to leave, eager to see the future again. It had disappeared around me, and I couldn't tell her why. It made our conversations shallow, and tense. Jasper was watchful as ever, trying to understand. He - at least once - had managed to have a meeting with Carlisle about what I could possibly be suffering from. Carlisle at least seemed unchanged, but perhaps that was centuries of practice. Trying to keep Renesmee away from talking to him was like asking a frog to hold their tongue in around a fly. She itched to reminisce with someone as old as her.

My trips to Jacob were becoming more frequent, an easy time to relax and hang out. Renesmee was always enthusiastically present then. She truly loved being back on the reserve she had used to know. Often I was given a historical commentary on places Jacob took me, while he was trying to fill in whatever he could. A few weeks into that arrangement, my world shifted once more.

We were sprawled out on the giant driftwood tree at the beach, discussing someone's birthday party that would be in a few weeks. Jacob looked terrible. Although he had insisted on coming out, a fine layer of sweat was covering him. He looked simultaneously cold and hot. He would unzip and rezip his coat within minutes and he looked as though he was starting to get green with nausea.

"Jake... you look like shit. You should probably go home." I finally said, after we'd sat for a few minutes in silence.

"Yeah... probably. I know there's a stomach bug going around." He said, trying to be casual, but there was something sinister behind it. Renesmee chimed up then.

"Actually, could you ask if the stomach bug is local? Reserve-only kind of thing?" She asked me.

"Uh, I haven't heard of anything going around Forks. La Push school been hit hard huh?" I asked.

"Well Sam got it a while back, but last month both Jared and Paul got sick within days of each other."

"Okayyy... so why's that freaking you out?" I asked.

"They changed. Remember, I told you they started hanging out together, differently, looking at me strangely, like they were expecting me to be sick. Hell I'm half scared they've poisoned me, and Sam'll come rushing in with an antidote, but the catch 22 is I have to join his weird-ass gang."

"Actually he's going to be joining their gang soon enough." Renesmee piped up again, looking completely calm. "It sounds like the three boys are the start of a wolf pack. Jacob's maturing into one. Hell I think he's grown since I've met him. It's happening. He'll likely shift soon.

I stared her down, demanding an explanation, but Jacob interrupted her before she could begin again.

"Yeah alright. I'll head home."

We three walked back to Jacob's house, and from Jacob's point of view it was in concerned silence. Renesmee, however, talked the entire way. She explained about the second puberty, the maturation of the spirit warriors in her tribe, and how it was looking like he was going through the same process. She talked about the fact that there should be some kind of symbol, a necklace, talisman, or tattoo even, that distinguished the pack members from the others.

"Most of the tribe will know about them. It's a well-guarded, tribe protected secret. You pale-faces would have no clue, but the spirit warriors become a kind of living law and legend." She continued. "I can guarantee that tonight will be the last night you'll see him for about three or four days."

I gave Jacob the biggest squeezing hug I could when I left. It felt wrong, not telling him what I knew, not preparing him for what was to come. Renesmee had reiterated that it was tribe business. It fell to the pack to explain.

"Feel better, okay?" I tried not to tear up as I let go. "And call me when you can, alright?"

 _Bye Bells_. He signed, I tried to smile at him. He looked mockingly concerned in response. "You aren't saying goodbye indefinitely. Jeez. Cheer up. I'm not about to die."

"That a promise?" I asked, trying to smile as he turned back to his house, diverging from the path I was taking to the SUV.

If he responded, I didn't hear it.


	92. Chapter 92

Neither of us could sleep that night. What was going to happen to Jacob? Was he going to wake up in the morning with four legs and a tail? Renesmee did what she could to minimize my fears. She even delved back into her own story, her own tribe and their transformations. I sat, pretending to read a book, but I thought I was probably doing a bad job of it. I could feel the watchful eyes on me, through the walls. It was just after Charlie had gone to bed that Renesmee spoke up. She pushed me out of my own body, and immediately put the book down.

"I'd like to borrow a car again please." She announced to the quiet and empty living room. Alice appeared at my side instantly, holding out a set of keys, looking troubled. Jasper followed, staring intently at my body. I wished I could tell them everything that was going on. But what could I possibly say? Everything was in absolute turmoil right now. And what could they do about it anyway? Would they even believe me?

"Would you like some company?" Alice asked. I saw Renesmee pause, considering for a moment. It took me a fraction of a second to see that she was actually considering it. What could we possibly be doing? She shook her head.

"No thank you Alice. I'll be fine tonight. Should be back before morning. Don't wake Charlie."

As she left to get into the car, I paused to watch Alice and Jasper. She walked towards him, resting a hand on his chest gently. He winked at her, and she sighed. They both headed upstairs. I quickly ran - through a couple of walls - to catch up to myself headed towards the cars in the garage. It wasn't long before we were speeding out into the abyss of a black night. Renesmee was not - from what I could gather - driving us to La Push. We were headed, instead, to Port Angeles by the looks of it. Out of nowhere, we pulled over to the side of the road, and my body left the car. It was raining, and cold, and so I was very confused.

"What - do you need to pee?" I asked, from the passenger seat. She laughed, audibly, and trudged into the forest. It was so dark out I wasn't even sure if I could follow her, so I quickly sped out of the car and ran towards her. Running as the spirit version of myself was fun. I was unhindered by the fear of falling, or tripping, and I was soundless as I jogged. Renesmee was a much better hiker than I - even in my clumsy body - and we were moving at a quick pace. We stopped, abruptly, and for no reason as far as I could see. We were in a tiny space, where a tree had fallen. Renesmee clambered up it, sitting cross legged on top.

"Since we cannot sleep - we may as well learn." She said, smiling at me before I found myself sitting where she had been, looking down at Renesmee. I couldn't exactly explain it - but as she stood there and spoke, she began looking more regal, more like the shaman she had described herself as in the past.

"The first thing I learned how to do - was warm myself up." she looked at me. "Close your eyes and focus."

I closed my eyes, and listened as best I could. I was getting wetter, and quite cold, sitting there, in the damp. I was beginning to shiver, and my rear end was soaked from sitting on the mossy tree.

"You aren't focusing." She said, her voice sounding close to my ear.

"How am I supposed to focus? I'm freezing."

"Focus on the warmth, not the absence of it. Where are you warm?"

"My chest." My torso felt quite solidly warm still.

"Perfect. So focus on that warmth, really feel it. It's a fire within you, one that we nurse together. It's the Olympic torch, if you must, never going out, and you can draw as much flame as you need to from that source. It's a life-giving warmth. The power of your life, and energy, interconnected with mine now. Reach into the warmth, and draw it out into the cold regions."

It sounded very simple, but doing it was very hard. Focusing that intently was difficult. My brain would wander into the discomfort of the cold, or the fear of being out alone out here. It wasn't until I thought about Jacob that I recognised that flutter of warmth in my chest. It felt like resting my hands on his skin to warm up. He often joked about me being an ice block - I couldn't wait to tell him to hi-five a Cullen one day. I, physically at first, tucked my hands to my chest. It was then that I felt the warmth, not spreading to my hands via contact like I had thought, but slowly seeping out past my collarbones, and trickling down my arms. To be honest, it felt not dissimilar to the sensation of a hot shower running down my arms. It was warm and strange, although very slow. More like honey than water. The warmth seeped out of me at an ever so slightly faster rate than the cold was seeping in. I focused on the feeling, dragging it out to every part of me, and for a while, warming up my cold backside. Once the last of my toes was as warm as the rest of me, I opened my eyes to look at Renesmee. I was immediately startled. The forest had changed colour. Instead of the pitch black and blue that had encompassed me when I had first closed my eyes, everything was a light greyish purple. The morning was approaching, encroaching on the trees. Renesmee was resting, comfortably, on the tree beside me, arms and legs sprawled out.

"That was really, really, really, really well done." She said simply.

"It's almost morning." I said, an obvious statement.

"Well yeah, but I wasn't going to interrupt your progress. That was incredible. I've never seen anyone get the knack of it so quickly. One night! Jesus. I thought it would take days and days of practice for you to learn how to do that." She leapt off the tree, and looked up at me. "Eight hours it took you. I'd be careful when you move - you'll be stiff."

Stiff was an understatement. Although I was warm, I hurt everywhere. My legs and feet were weary and cramped, muscles screamed as I stretched them out.

"How long does that warming up process normally take you?" I asked her, massaging out my legs.

"About a minute. But I've had hundreds of years of practice. This was your first go. And you did it! I'm so blown away. People are normally so inhibited. When I trained my tribe, way back, people were too caught up in emotion to clinically analyze themselves and pull out the soul-fire. That breakup you had did wonders for your self control."

I clutched my stomach in the onslaught of emotion and pain that overwhelmed me, and with my arms free, and my legs numb, promptly fell out of the tree. Renesmee switched with me then, and I found myself staring down at my pitiful body, for the briefest of seconds, curled up like it had been whipped. It was horrifying, anguish and pity inducing. Sparks flicked out of my body's fingers, and Renesmee looked up at me, alarmed. She somehow stood up rapidly, and held out her arms towards me.

"Hey, hey, hey... breathe. Calm down. You're okay. We're okay. I'm sorry." She looked like she was trying to diffuse a bomber, or shooter of some kind. That's exactly what I'd become. I was an emotional time bomb. Everything suppressed and contained, until it leaked. And when it leaked it busted out anguish and anger like a dam break. Emotions that fueled the fires that had burned my house down. I breathed deeply, shakily, inside the spirit version of myself, while Renesmee shook out tiny flickers of heat from her fingers. Wherever the tiny flames landed, the dampness beneath them hissed.

"Come on kiddo, we have to get back to the Cullen's house, before Alice sends out a search party."

She drove us in silence while I floated along in the passenger seat. I was going to have to take this training very seriously. I was glad that I'd had such impressive success with the first night of training, I'd certainly need it to help contain the stupid monstrosity that was my newfound ability to create dangerous house fires. The last thing I needed to do was burn down another house. Someone could get injured next time.

I noticed that, although we were driving, it was not to the Cullen house. It was to La Push.

"I thought you said we couldn't see Jacob yet." I clarified.

"We can't. I'm picking something up." We pulled up outside of the reservation tourist shop. The one the Clearwater's ran if memory served. I watched myself clamber out quickly, grabbing money from the dashboard of the car. I hadn't known that was in there. Renesmee really had done a lot of exploring. She walked into the shop, and I followed her.

"Bella! Good morning. A little early, isn't it?" Sue's voice chimed from over the counter.

"Yeah a little bit. It's looking nice out there today though." I heard myself respond. I was busy looking around the store. I remembered coming here as a kid, Charlie always offering to buy me anything that suited my fancy. I'd always walked out with books.

"What brings you here?" she asked politely, but curiously. I watched in mild panic as Renesmee smiled with my mouth and pointed to a pack of cigarettes behind the counter. Sue, was as unprepared as I for the shopping decision. I at least had the privacy of being in a spirit body to hide my shock.

"Are you... sure?" she asked, as she reached back.

"Yes ma'am. And I would appreciate it if my dad didn't find out. I'm a little stressed out, you know?" Renesmee said, "Keep the change."

Sue nodded her head, still looking perplexed as she handed over the pack. Not one of the three of us spoke as I watched my body leave, and get into our rented car. Renesmee unwrapped the packet and pulled out a cigarrette. She held it flat in her palm as she sat in the drivers seat. I nearly dropped it when I found myself back in my own body.

"Okaaaay?" I managed.

"Keep it in your pocket. Keep it close. We'll work on it tomorrow." Renesmee smiled. "Now - head back to the vamp squad, before they spill that we haven't been home all night."


	93. Chapter 93

I became somewhat of a recluse over the next few days - even by my standards. I could see I was worrying the hell out of the Cullens, but frankly, I had a lot on my mind. I was worried about Jacob, worried about Charlie, and still trying to practice my own control. The cigarette in my pocket was looking worn, and slightly bent from where I fiddles with it so much, nervous about burning something down. Renesmee and I would sneak out to a secluded space, and work on 'warming' me up. I was getting faster at it, but I still needed to be sitting down, and very focused for it to work. Renesmee was so good at it she could douse herself in rain, and then steam-dry her clothing. Our clothing. Whatever.

One night, we were sitting perched on a tree when Renesmee laughed suddenly. She was in the spirit form, I was doing my nightly warm-up. I jumped slightly at her abrupt intrusion of sound, and she shook her head reassuringly.

"Don't worry. Just wait here. Keep warming yourself up. You're nearly done." She leapt gracefully from the tree, and jogged off. I peeked gently under my eyelashes and saw Renesmee, standing at the base of a tree about forty yards away. She was looking straight up. My sneaky glance followed her gaze, and then my eyes popped open unintentionally. Perched, nearly indistinguishable from the tree canopy, was a defined white figure. The smallest glimpse of what I thought was blonde hair snuck through a gap in the pine needles.

"Is that you Jasper?" I asked, quietly. The figure - if possible - became more still for a moment, before dropping with unimaginable speed to the ground, lightly beside Renesmee.

 _If you don't mind my asking, how the hell did you know I was here?_ He signed at me, as he knew he was too far away for me to hear. My heart fluttered for a second. Could I do it? Could I tell him about Renesmee? Would he believe me? He approached slowly, clearly trying not to frighten.

 _Is this where you've been coming every night? I got some mixed scent trail strengths._

"Couldn't just let me figure my shit out for a few days?" I asked, probably too bluntly. Jasper smiled.

"Alice was worried." He shrugged. He was plenty close now.

"Only Alice?" I asked. Jasper smiled, and ran his hand through his hair.

"No. She's the most worried. She's also not really herself right now. She thinks she's losing her gift."

"Because of me?" I asked, saddened.

"You and Charlie. She can see the family clearly for the most part, but wherever you or Charlie are involved, things just go kind of fuzzy. She says Charlie's clearer, but you're almost invisible. You're giving her a headache actually. She wants to be near you, but can't be." Jasper said, his tone quieting as he spoke. His hand were forever signing his words, so that I could follow.

"I'm sorry." It was all I could say.

"The thing that gets me Bella, is that I think you know why. I sense the guilt, but not the confusion that should come with it. You're aware of what's happening, far more than any of us." Jasper looked at me intently. I didn't budge an inch. I wasn't even sure if I blinked. "Mind if I sit?"

I let him sit, and he mirrored my position, criss-crossed, on the tree. My hand began fiddling with the cigarette I'd been resting on my shoe.

"There's also that." Jasper pointed to it. "You're pretty straight and narrow Bella. Rose would even call you boring. Since when did you start contemplating a smoking habit?"

I twirled the cigarette in my hands, and looked past Jasper, to Renesmee, for aid. She smiled back, shaking her head.

"Oh no kiddo. This is the most unique situation I've ever been in. This is your life, your family. Your choice. Just hold on to that cigarette in case things get a little emotional." She said, coming to stand beside us both. My eyes flashed back towards Jasper, but he'd noticed.

"And there's that. Like you're watching for something. My initial speculation was you were remembering, daydreaming, but the severity and regularity became much too great." He stopped again, as if wondering if he should continue his monologue of questions, or finally try and coax me into answering one.

"Have you discussed all this with the others?" I asked, curious about my surroundings while I was absent or asleep.

"To a point. With Alice, yes, everything. Carlisle suspects I have more to say than I've asked him about, but he won't push. I don't know how much he's suspected or noticed, Edward is normally the-"

I tightened my grip on the cigarette, and exhaled sharply through my mouth with what I can only assume was a very audible 'whoosh' noise. Jasper froze and moved impossibly quickly, placing his hand on my knee instantly. The pain subsided, almost as quickly as it came. He leaned back again, but the calming effect still lingered.

"Apologies. That was careless and thoughtless of me." He said, sincerely. I took a long deep breath. He continued talking, probably to make me feel more comfortable again.

"You haven't been the same. You haven't been Bella. You weren't particularly predictable, but your emotional climate has shifted so dramatically. It's like there are three versions of you now. The version I first met, the version I'm speaking with now..."

"And the other one." I began, "The one you can't explain. The one who feels old-"

"Watch who you're calling old." Renesmee butted in.

"-who feels lost, and distant, but strong and powerful." I added, my eyes slipped over to Renesmee again. She looked so natural in this setting. Although her clothes mirrored my own, as they always did, her black straight hair gleamed in light that wasn't technically shining on her. He russet skin, and dark eyes shone just as brightly, as she watched, and waited, to see how I'd do this. I looked back to Jasper, who was poker-facing his posture, face, even his eyes. He may as well have been a marble statue.

"When..." I couldn't do it. I couldn't speak his name. Even with the forced calm I was experiencing, it was as though my body was afraid of letting it out. I tried another tactic, staring into golden eyes. His didn't have the same dizzying effect. They weren't _my_ gold eyes. These were Alice's. "When I got lost, in the woods, I met someone. She found me, accidentally, and... latched on." It sounded lame even to my standards. "We've been compromising, on who gets to use the body since. It's challenging."

Jasper was as still, and unyielding in his thoughts on my speech, as before. He sat, a neutral party, listening. The words suddenly dropped out of me in a version of calm panic that I was unsure I'd ever be able to replicate again. It was the desperation, the relief of finally sharing. I wasn't crazy.

"She has a hard time with my inability to hear. I have a hard time with her brashness, and confidence. She doesn't know how to sign. I couldn't even identify the languages she speaks, let alone use them. She's been trying to protect me, but has met vampires in the past, and has a kind of prejudice. She much prefers the comfort of the reserve. She's trying to hold back, and let me figure out my own life... but she gets antsy when she doesn't speak for a long while. She's been helping me with my nightmares. She's kind. She's real. I'm not crazy. I thought I was for a while. Then I set my house on fire, and she's been stopping me blowing up your house too." I stopped, and looked over to her. "Are you going to help explain any of this, or not?"

Renesmee smiled. "I think you're doing a fair job."

I snapped my jaw shut in irritation, and turned back to Jasper. He was looking at his hands.

"So where exactly do you go when she's using your body?" he asked, tone neutral.

"Wherever she was last. I keep mentally calling it my 'spirit body'. When we switch, we just switch bodies. We can walk around, unheard, unseen as the spirit body though." It occurred to me that proof may be handy. "Remember when you were talking to Alice the other day. I was downstairs watching Esme cook, and you were discussing whether or not I'd gone bipolar. You said that Renesmee - that's her name - felt like Carlisle. Old and curious."

Jasper looked visibly concerned now, his lips parted slightly in the tiniest sign of shock.

"I try not to peek into conversations." I tried to assure him. "Most of the time I'm hanging around my body when Renesmee is driving it, just in case she does something I wouldn't sanction."

"Tell him to hold up a number behind his back." Renesmee said, moving behind Jasper where she could clearly see. I repeated the request. Jasper moved his hand behind his back.

"Two. Four. One. Four again." I relayed. Jasper placed his hand back on his knee, looking alert, and peered around, at the empty clearing. He opened his mouth to say something, and then stopped. Then he started again.

"What did you mean when you said you set your house on fire?" He asked. My eyes dropped, guiltily, to the cigarette in my hand.

"Renesmee has a gift too, like you, or Alice. Hers is to do with fire. It's very emotionally driven though - at least for me. I had a really, really bad nightmare. When I woke up, my whole room was burning. Renesmee threw me out of my body, and climbed us out of the window, down the tree, and to safety. I'm holding _this_ in case I get a strong emotional wave" I showed him the worn cigarette. "I'm supposed to focus on it, so that it will burn, instead of whatever is around me. We're out here practicing control."

Jasper sat, looking flabbergasted for words.

"How do you see her?"

"I don't know. She's sharing my brain, so it made sense to me."

"No, apologies, I meant, how does she look to you?"

"Like Jacob. Native American I mean. She's always in my clothes though. When I'm in the spirit version, I can't see her anymore, just myself - my body - walking around. It's very much like a waking nightmare. If she was malicious in intent, I doubt she'd ever let me back in. Instead, as I said, she tries to let me drive as often as possible."

"Would you let her speak now?" He asked. Quicker than the words were out, I was standing beside myself and Jasper, and Renesmee smiled, a very relaxed and relieved smile.

"Nice to finally talk to you, Jasper."


	94. Chapter 94

"Nice to finally talk to you, Jasper." She said quickly back to him. I thought about how peculiar it was, watching my body having a conversation with someone who knew I wasn't in there. Jasper looked frozen. I wondered if that was a vampire's natural state, and that he was so focused on the perplexing situation before him that he had literally forgotten he was supposed to be looking human. He didn't even look like he was breathing.

"It's a pleasure..." Jasper mumbled at her.

"You can call me Renesmee. Bella does, although I'll ask you to speak louder. I'm not as good at lip reading as Bella, and I can't sign for shit."

I smiled, and continued watching Jasper. The most movement I could see was his clothing and hair. They would quiver whenever a rain drop hit them, other than that he may as well have been a statue in a wig.

"What, or who exactly are you?" Jasper spoke, loudly and clearly, but without much movement.

"Simply put, I'm an aboriginal shaman who couldn't be bothered to die properly. My navushiep, if you will, my free-soul, decided to float around, looking for empty hosts. I began bringing life to the recently deceased, the brain-dead, hell I've reanimated a few stillborns in my time. This is the first time I've ever accidentally latched onto an inhabited body." Renesmee was relaxed, barely even looking cautious in her posturing. She looked as though this was an interesting development in a movie she were watching, and I wondered idly if that was how she saw our arrangement. Perhaps as a videogame character with some super long and unavoidable cutscenes.

"How exactly did you manage that?" Jasper asked. It occurred to me that he sounded quite clinical, much like Carlisle did in 'doctor mode'.

"I believe the question actually falls onto your side." I saw my body say, and Renesmee managed to pull a face I had never before seen in the mirror. It was a terrifyingly angry one that I didn't think my meek face could have pulled off. "How exactly did your _brother-_ " she managed to use a tone that sent a chill down my spirit spine. "Manage to rip all sense of humanity and presence out of _her_?" My head nodded towards me, a body that Jasper couldn't see, but he understood clearly.

I tried to ignore, tried to not think about what Renesmee was saying. I needed to think about something else. Anything else. I wondered how Jacob was doing. Whether he was completely transformed and capable yet. Wondered if he would ever let me see him change. Would I show him my new bag of tricks too? My thoughts were interrupted by a name that cut deeply.

"Because Edward is infantile, stupid, and incapable of seeing happiness for himself. Only this time his selfishness cost more than he realised."

My breathing was getting faster, the hole in my chest bubbling up. Renesmee looked over toward me, concerned. As expansive as my hearing usually was in spirit form, it felt as though the world was getting quiet, and that a pressure was building up in my ears.

"Cigarette." I heard her say quickly while she furtively threw out her arm, throwing the aforementioned towards me. I watched it fall, just short of me, and bounce, a single time in the moss at my feet. I buckled over, staring at the ugly little roll of paper I'd been toying with for hours. I was on all fours, the only thing in my vision the stupid cigarette on the moss.

"The problem in this equation seems to be..." My voice continued to ring out from my body, cruelly I thought. "Edward Anthony Mason Cullen."

The cigarette on the moss didn't light up. It didn't burn up slowly, or even quickly. It literally exploded, leaving a singed patch of moss beneath it.

The pressure was gone, my hearing was back, and the hole in my chest had been temporarily filled with a sloshing of surprise. I'd done that. I'd set things on fire before, but not a specific thing, not intentionally.

"Well done Bella." My voice was gentle now, consoling. I was actually unnerved to hear how like my mother I sounded. I glared up at my own brown eyes.

"Was that necessary?" I asked, rubbing my chest.

"I've noticed that with you, expulsion is easier than calming. At least, when Jasper here isn't around."

I looked over at Jasper, who had remained immobile, except that his eyes were bright with fevered interest. If the conversation these two were going to have would involve more of that, I felt I was probably better not hearing the conversation.

"Do you mind if I..." I began.

"Leave? You sure you don't want to stick around?" My body asked, pulling a Renee-esque expression. I wasn't sure I liked my face, the more I had to look at it being obstinate and obscure. As I watched her more, I noticed that Renesmee somehow wore my face differently. The microexpressions, the muscles she used were not ones I was used to using.

"I've heard the majority of the backstory. The part Jasper is most interested in is what hurts the most."

"Okay." She acquiesced, relaxing again on the log. "I'll reel you back in when we're done."

She turned back toward Jasper to begin explaining the situation, and I started a nice jog into the wet, green world around me.

I wasn't sure how long I ran for, but eventually I came across a gorge. Normally, I would have halted, afraid of the fall, or of injury. But in this form... My heart felt like it was racing, in a good way, with adrenaline. I'd seen Renesmee basically teleport in this spirit form. One little jump wasn't totally out of the bounds of possibility. I definitely felt like I needed a run up to it. I backed up, and began running at the gorge. I jumped, screamed, and soared far across, clearing it with plenty of room to spare. I laughed at myself as I rolled into a landing on the other side, definitely rolling through a few trees. I stood up, laughing at myself. I looked back toward the gorge, and the river at the bottom of it. I wasn't entirely sure where I was. The awful thing about Forks was that the wildnerness was everywhere, and to me at least, it all looked the same.

I turned around, to continue running, wondering how far I would get before Renesmee reeled me back in, when I came face to face with a pair of dark brown eyes in an impossibly large face of russet coloured fur. I froze, and so did it - the giant wolf - before it made a barking sound which was unmistakably confusion. The wolf was far, far too big to be a real wolf. All of Renesmee's tales came flooding back into my brain, and I just knew, instantly, and without fail, exactly whose eyes I was looking at.

"Jacob?" I asked, in absolute disbelief. The wolf actually fell over backward.


	95. Chapter 95

Watching something so large and powerful looking back away in surprise was quite comical. It took me a moment before something else clicked.

"You heard me?" I asked. I was absolutely positive that my physical form was still sitting a few miles away at least on a log, talking to Jasper about goodness knows what. And yet here this large, confused wolf was, looking directly at me. I looked straight back at it. At him. I just knew it was Jacob. Somehow it looked like him. I wasn't sure if it was his eyes, or the colour of his fur, but if I had ever had to picture Jacob as a wolf, then this is exactly what would have come to mind. He scrambled to his feet, and then walked towards me intently.

 _Bella?_

Jacob's rich voice sounded in my head, clearer than I'd ever heard it before. I smiled at him.

"Hey Jake, you look awesome. Glad you figured out the whole shifting thing." I said, reaching out instinctively to touch him. My hand passed straight through his shaggy mess of fur.

 _Bella, I don't - I mean - what?_ The wolf stood there, looking as aghast as anything. I looked briefly back to the direction I had come from. I wondered how long Renesmee and Jasper would be talking before she 'reeled' me back.

"I'm not sure how much time I have to explain. Whatever I don't get to though - we'll talk face to face again soon, right?" I asked.

 _Yeah. Absolutely. Uh - you should know that there are others listening to you to right now._

"The mental connection thing right? Your pack?" I asked. Wolf Jacob's jaw dropped. "Again - it's kind of complicated, but let's say I have an inside source into the workings of your tribe, and most of the stuff that you think you might need to explain, I already know." I was so nervous I was twitching my fingers, itching to sign and speak, to communicate to my fullest potential.

"I... um, I'm kind of sharing my body, with an aboriginal shaman from way back when your tribe first discovered the whole spirit walking thing. She accidentally thought my body was vacant, and now we're stuck together. She's awesome. Her name is Renesmee, I think you'll like her. But both of us can't be in there at the same time. Right now she's driving the meat suit, so she can talk to someone. I'm running around, and exploring, since I can actually run through a forest without falling over. I didn't realise I'd made it to Quileute territory. I certainly didn't realise you were up and running about, or I would have come to see you sooner."

 _This has got to be the strangest thing I've ever heard._

"Ha. Ha." I said, sardonically. "Trust me, I'm having a hard enough time explaining this to myself, let alone other people, without it sounding utterly insane. But it's true. How else could I know what I know? How else could I be here now? How else could I have jumped the gorge there? And although you can see me right now - which is - by the way - something no one except Renesmee and I have been able to do - you can't smell me, or touch me. I'm like some kind of Star Trek hologram."

He stood, silently for what felt like a few minutes, and then looked behind him. Three other wolves appeared, two smaller, but one comparable in size and stature to Jacob. He was big, black, menacing, and angrier looking than the goofy face of Jacob. I wondered if that was because of my predisposition to view Jacob as friendly, and if to others he might look just as menacing. I glanced at Jacob, his head lolled slightly, one eyebrow raised. No it was definitely just Jacob.

 _Bella, this is Sam. He's pack leader._ Jacob supplied, jerking his head towards the large black wolf.

"Sam Uley?" I asked, picturing the man I'd met once, the leader of the 'cult' Jacob had been so worried about before his transformation. At least Jacob seemed on good terms with Sam now, and probably on better terms with himself. The black wolf nodded slowly, and courteously. Although curious, he seemed much less happy to see me.

 _I see a few things have changed for you Bella._

"Understatement of the year." I replied, and began my story anew, as quickly as possible.

 **Jasper**

"You don't believe us?" She asked me simply at the end of her explanation of their joint situation.

My lifetime's worth of experiences with the supernatural had taught me that nothing was outside the realms of possibility, but for Bella to be entangled with not one, but two forms of supernatural being was just incredibly unlikely. Everything about the person in front of me was different. It certainly looked like Bella, but everything about her was off. He posture was relaxed and strong, her face made words differently. She didn't twitch her hands when she spoke, like Bella was always doing, ready to sign in a moment. She didn't focus her gaze purely on the lips of those talking to her. Even without my talents it was clear that someone was in her body, brand new, testing things out. This person had a habit of biting on the inside of her cheek as she thought - unlike Bella, who preferred hand-based habits. My talents also opened up a world of information. I thought back to every instance over the past few weeks that made so much more sense now. The callous disinterest that came with come scenarios, or the irritation at odd moments. When I looked hard, I could see the moments with the third person in the room, where Bella, or Renesmee, would respond to empty air, with an emotional response of some kind. I could also feel the difference when it came to their overall calm state. Bella had been right, describing Renesmee as old, patient, frustrated, and all the other things that made no sense except to an old, solitary being now forced into a shared inhabitant state.

"Of course I do." I admitted. "And to be honest, I'm a little relieved that Bella isn't suffering from some kind of psychotic break."

"I wouldn't go that far. As I said, your brother managed to rip enough of her soul out of her body that I thought it was brain-dead. Her lack of emotional control, and her ability to so quickly pick up focusing of a destructive gift that has taken me years to refine, is extremely disturbing. I need to keep teaching her control, or she will end up killing someone, but at the same time, that level of emotional destruction can't just be buried. It has to be dealt with. I'm just not sure how many people might explode in the process. You saw what she did to that cigarette." Renesmee looked at the patch of scorched ground beside us.

"Bella isn't one to be underestimated. I've come to think of her much like one of my own kind. She has a uniquely unmatched emotional depth and maturity, while also having an insane capacity for attracting trouble." I smiled, thinking about how my family had grown to love her. "There's a reason we're still here, after all. None of us believe Edward should have left, even though he almost killed her. Most of us think that he should have just changed her already."

"Edward doesn't love her enough to keep her around?" Renesmee asked, bitterness evident. Her emotions were cold, and approaching annoyance. Clearly she'd gotten attached to Bella as well.

"It's not that. It's that he doesn't want to doom her to an existence as unchanging and sorrowful as ours. Driven by animal instincts, and base desires, emotionally isolated and forever hidden away. My family is the most unusual one, aside from the Volturi perhaps, in the world. The largest permanent gathering of non-related vampires. We've lived together longer than the majority of our kind can stand even living."

I sighed as I continued to press on. "I can't tell you what's going on in his head - only he has that capability - but I can tell you that emotionally he's one of the most restrained, self-loathing pieces of shit in this family. Even Rosalie has enough sense to try and search for happiness. Bella walks into his life, as brilliant as the sun, and he's moping around."

"You obviously don't agree with him then. Is that why you took Bella's side?"

"We took Bella's side because we love her, and she needs more support and strength than he does right now. Human life is a gift, a fragile and unpredictable one at that. Bella managed to charm us all. Even Rosalie likes her."

Renesmee gave me a skeptical look. "I haven't met her because Bella told me that when Edward split, her and Emmett left too?"

"Yeah. But Rose likes her. Rose loves Edward, and seeing how happy he is with Bella. She's just complicated, and envious, and jealous, and... well Rosalie. You learn to live with it. Emmett had to follow his wife, but he's always been protective with Bella."

"And so here we are." Renesmee said, looking up at the trees. "I'm here, I'm joined with Bella until we both kick the proverbial bucket, and there's a complicated mess I've managed to dive into."

"Well, I am sorry, but you're probably going to have to explain all this again. Alice has difficulty seeing you, or else she would have already passed on our conversation. It's been driving her half mad, thinking she was losing her gift."

"I am sorry about that. I can't explain why she can't see me." Renesmee stood up, and closed her eyes. A light coating of steam suddenly erupted from all over her body. It took me a moment to realise she was evaporating all the moisture she had accrued during our conversation off of her hair and clothing.

"Would you like a lift back to the car?" I asked, stretching out my hand. Renesmee smiled curtly.

"It's funny. Never in my life did I think I'd not only be fine living with vampires, but accepting close physical contact." She took my offered hand, and I whisked her into a fireman's hold, running swiftly to the car. She sat calmly, and stiffly. Once we were back to the car, she took the passenger seat, opening up the glove box to pull out a cigarette. Within a second it was lit, burning away.

"It's funny watching these now. My last host was quite the smoker. It feels comfortable, and familiar, and yet not one part of Bella's body physically wants this." She rubbed her fingers gently over the lit end, and suddenly the flame was out, transferred onto an imaginary wick on top of her finger. That too, extinguished.

"Is Bella going to be joining us for the conversation with the others?" I asked, entirely unsure as to where she was currently. Renesmee and Bella had described the physical and spirit body differences, and I wondered if she was in the car with us. An entity with full consciousness and emotional range that I couldn't perceive. Carlisle would have a field day.

"I don't know." Renesmee muttered. "But unless you want your house burned down, I'd suggest leaving her wherever she is, until we're done with the Edward part."


	96. Chapter 96

I wasn't sure at the depth of the conversation Renesmee and Jasper were getting into, but it was taking a while, and I was okay with that. I was able to slow down, and talk to Jacob and Sam about what I knew, what I was living with now.

 _She joined you after you got lost in the woods? After the Cullen boy left you there?_ Sam asked bluntly, after a few minutes of m monologue. I took a deep, shuddering breath. Wherever my body was right now I wondered if it was starting to load up the fireworks. The ringing in my ears was starting. I tried to divert myself.

"Yeah. She was actually there when you carried me back Sam."

 _I didn't see her._

"She'd gone away from my body. Like I am now. I'm sitting way back that way, chilling with Jasper."

A cold snarl ran through all of the wolves in front of me. It shocked me, and I wasn't sure why. Renesmee had always talked about her dislike of the Cullens, although that had been tempered by living with them for a while. The wolves were undoubtedly enemies of vampires, protectors of the tribe. I held up my hands in a gesture of calm.

"I'm fine. I'm safe. I've been living with him, and the other Cullens since the house burned down. They're my family too. They're different to the others of their kind." I said. "You know that.

The wolves quieted down for a moment, though it took them a few exchanged and meaningful glances, and I finally relaxed a little, pulling my hair back from my face. Faster than a bullet, they all shot up again, growling, fierce as a fire.

"What?" I asked.

 _What is that? On your neck!_ Sam yelled in my head. My whole spirit self felt as though it had been dipped in ice. I hadn't realised it would be noticeable, but perhaps the wolves had better eyesight than people. The crescent shaped scar on my neck was undoubtedly visible with my new hair positioning.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." I said.

 _The Cullen's have broken the treaty. Are you dead, or has this been some kind of ruse to give them time to escape?_ Jacob snarled at me.

"Dead? I'm not dead. I'm right here." I pleaded, not understanding what was happening. My heart was racing.

 _We have to move tonight. Before they kill anyone else._ Sam said.

"I'm not dead!" I reiterated. But it was as if the wolves could no longer hear me. They began to run off, back away from the gorge and the river, but I figured it wouldn't be too long.

 _If you aren't dead, you're turning into one of them, and that's just as dangerous._

Jacob had stayed behind to make the last comment. Then he too, was gone.

I was left in the woods, suddenly feeling an icy dread that had nothing to do with my surroundings. The trees had gone from feeling conquerable, to feeling oppressive. I began to panic. What the hell had just happened? The wolves sounded like they were about to make some kind of attack. From their initial skepticism to their downright belief that I was somehow going to be dangerous to them, the whole conversation had gone totally awry. Left alone in the forest, I fingered the scar on my neck. How was I going to get myself back to my body in time to warn the Cullens? How many wolves exactly were coming for my family? I knew nothing, and had apparently started some kind of civil war for supernaturals. I needed to get Renesmee's attention, so that she might bring me back to my own body. She hadn't yet taught me that trick.

I fingered the scar again, and thought about the night it happened. I thought about the warmth, the cold, the intensity, the passion, the fear. My hearing in this body, disappeared with the pressure building up in my ears again.

Suddenly, I was back in the Cullen house, sitting casually on a couch, surrounded by the Cullens, with Jasper and Renesmee looking panicked at me.

"Breathe. Focus. What the hell happened?" Renesmee asked. "I can't leave you alone for a few hours?" The pressure in my ears was disappearing. Jasper was clearly working his magic. He blasted me with a wave of relaxation so powerful that I began to yawn.

"The wolves. The Quileute pack. They're coming. They saw me, saw my neck, thought I'd died or something. I have no idea how many there are. Jacob's a wolf now, they're coming." I blurted, fighting a string of yawns. I saw Renesmee make a very quick decision and suddenly I was booted out again, watching myself on the couch.

"I can help. But you'll all need to be ready. First of all though - tell me what happened with her neck."

I watched as Alice and Carlisle began explaining the situation that had nearly resulted in my death, and had eventually landed Renesmee with me. My ears started building up with pressure again, but this time, Renesmee gave me no aid. I sat down, in my spirit form, focusing on something, anything to help ease the anguish building inside me. I walked over to a window and glared at the rain outside. I glowered painfully at the drops on the window, until suddenly the window was steaming up. Drops of water that hit it were sizzling off within moments.

"Good." My voice sounded beside my ear. "Focus on that for now. I'll need all that pent up emotion in a moment, so I'll not rob you of it now."

Drip. Sizzle. Drip. Hiss. Drip. Sizzle. I guarded my window, and the small section of grass beneath it diligently. Steam rose in small waves from the ground, a dry circle edging out from where I stood, glowering, breathing. My head was starting to tickle with the beat of a headache. I wasn't sure how long I was there for, but suddenly, I was tapped on the shoulder.

"Bella, they're here. I need you to do your thing."

It's as if the words themselves had the opposite effect. I suddenly lost focus. Unsure. I felt the world coming back into focus as I searched my face, being worn by Renesmee. She pulled her hair aside suddenly, stroking the scar on her neck. I could have sworn I felt it on my own.

"Follow me. Now." Renesmee walked my body out into the open in front of the house. I couldn't see or hear the wolves. All I felt was the rain sizzling off of my hot skin. The warrior shaman beside me stood in front of me. Her eyes were boring into mine. She stood so close we could have kissed. Her skin looked ablaze with excitement, shining somehow. This was something Renesmee was enjoying.

"A night, a glorious night of intimacy. Ice and fire, passion and restraint. Then devastation. Withdrawal. He left you Bella. Edward left you."

I actually cried aloud with the pain this time.

"Copy my actions, listen to my words." She said, less cruelly than her previous statement. She raised her arms like an eagle, stretching out her fingers. I did the same, and could feel the hole in my chest stretching out to my fingertips. I probably looked amusing, or insane. I felt like I was being set alight from the inside with pain. A pain that was turning into fire. I could hear the hissing noise of the rain that dared hit my skin, as it evaporated.

"Visualize a bubble, a fence, encircling the house. a layer of protective fire. And then think about your pain. Your anguish. Feed that fire Bella. Your emotions make you stronger."

I cried out as I thought about Edward's face, his words, the lost moments, the life that was never meant to be, and spreading it out from my fingertips. I thought of the life I'd been robbed of, because of my own ineptitude, my own weaknesses. I felt the pressure release like a dam break. All the emotions were still there, but they felt displaced somehow. It was as thought my body was stretching around the house. Like I had so much more space to feel the emotions. The wider the space, the more area it covered, the less the pain was focused on my chest. I thought hard about pushing the pain like a bubble around the Cullen house. Renesmee smirked, proudly at me, stepping back slightly.

"Atta girl." She said softly. The usually green trees around me were flickering with an orange haze, and I could hear the crackling roar of a fire that I was hoping I was controlling. I didn't dare look back to see it.

Suddenly, there was a black wolf behind Renesmee, erupting from the forest. My eyes opened wider in shock, and Renesmee turned to look behind herself. I could see two wolves in my peripheral vision running from either perimeter of the fire. My fire. The fire that had built an impenetrable wall between both parties in this impromptu war. One of the wolves I recognized as Jacob. He froze solid when he saw me at the helm of the fiery cascade. At least I thought that was what he was frozen about, but a second later, Renesmee froze too, looking straight back at him. I felt - for once - _her_ emotions overpowering my own, a wave of happiness, finality, contentment, joy, elation, love, anticipation and shock hit me like a sack of bricks. I felt the ground around me erupt in flame, as suddenly as the wave of emotion had hit me.

And that's when I blacked out.


	97. Chapter 97

My fire had been something truly magnificent to behold. That's what they kept telling me.

I felt like I'd been drug unwillingly through a desert, then stamped on for good measure. Muscles I didn't know existed were sore, everything felt achy - like I'd had a fever, and my lips, skin, even my hair was dry. I rolled over on the couch I was laying on, so that I was facing the window. Outside, I could see Carlisle and Jasper, walking and talking, with Jacob and Sam. The four of them paused for a moment, to take a short break, sitting on the grass, while they spoke. I could catch glimpses of what Carlisle was saying, as he was facing directly towards me, but most of it was in reference to things and places that I didn't understand.

 _Along the gorge by the redwood... undisputed... protection from outside influences._

The fact that the four of them were getting along, talking, and being civil was mind-boggling. Literally the last time I had seen all of them in one place we had been on the verge of a war.

I'd been unconscious for two days, in a full body coma essentially. Carlisle and Esme had told Charlie I had a fever, and that he kept missing me when I was awake. He'd been out of the house at work, and sorting out a new place for us to live, so he wasn't overly concerned that I'd been in bed asleep for the moments he saw me. It probably helped ease his mind that we were living with a doctor. During those two days, a new treaty was being brokered between the Quileute tribe, and the Cullen family. The old one had been broken after all - when Edward had bitten me. But now, I - living and attached as I was to the Cullens, and holding Renesmee in my body half the time - was providing leverage for both sides to reopen negotiations. He also had managed to avoid all of the wolf-vamp meetings, with some careful watching and planning from Alice. The two sides had made some significant leaps, but the trust thing was still a little mucky. The only one totally fine with the entire vampire situation was Jacob - and that was because of Renesmee.

As soon as I had woken up the first time, I had found the two of them together, her in spirit, he in wolf form, both of them sitting in my bedroom. She had been talking to him, and he had been making appropriately interesting dog noises back. She refused to leave my side, and he refused to leave hers. Imprinting they called it. It was tricky, and weird, and beautiful all at the same time. It was also - apparently - a unique instance, because instead of the usual one-sided imprint that happened with the wolves, both parties here had imprinted with each other. They were as destined to be together, and as inseparable as the two sides of a coin.

I was extremely envious, and trying not to think about why. The whole situation was kind of cool, because my best friend could spend more time with me, and my family, without worrying about tribe wars, or supernatural abilities, which could have been a huge deterrent. Everything was just out in the open, and almost comfortable, at least for the most part, and I'd been the catalyst for it.

Apparently I'd created not a small wall of fire, but a fantastically house-engulfing one. There was a perfect circular ring of bare earth around the Cullen house, from where my blaze had burned. The Cullens and wolves had never seen anything like it. That made me feel odd. I should probably feel proud, or excited, or something similar, but all I could feel was... burden. The burden of power? Or of fear? Fear of abilities that I couldn't control, barely harnessing with Renesmee's tutelage. I resolved to stay in bed for as long as I could.

There was one other thing to process, besides the momentous events of the past few days. Renesmee hadn't noticed yet. She hadn't spent any time in the physical body since I had blacked out, so that was probably a contributing factor. At first, I hadn't noticed either. The Cullens always talked near me with ASL accompanying their speech, so I hadn't noticed the change. But when Charlie had begun to talk to me, after seeing me up and around for the first time in two days, that's when I felt the pit of my stomach roll.

I couldn't hear him. I heard some of his words, but my hearing had certainly declined. I listened, staring intently, at my surroundings, at the things I should be able to hear. It was quieter than ever. I could still hear Jacob's booming voice, but even that was missing tones now. And Jacob - bless his enthusiasm - was not the signer that the Cullens were. I wanted to ask Renesmee about it. I also didn't want her to worry. Was it the fire? The exertion? The coma? If I pulled another stunt like that - would I go permanently, and completely deaf?

I had no idea.

My days began passing quickly, and in a blur. With the supernatural stresses easing around me, and my life and death situations leveling themselves out, my existence became strained. I lived between moments; only coming alive to learn meditation and focusing techniques. I tried to avoid imposing on Renesmee's time with Jacob. I tried to avoid imposing on the Cullens. I tried to avoid complicating life any further for my father. In general, I tried to avoid everything. I would sleep, or walk in the woods, or sit in front of a lit candle, playing with the flame that now made no impacts on my skin. I had almost perfected Renesmee's warming/evaporating rain technique. It took me a few minutes, where she took a few seconds, but I could do it, and in a controlled way.

One day, I couldn't be sure which one, I was sitting in front of an empty candle on the deck outside, when Carlisle appeared in front of me. He sat, cross legged, facing me, and began to sign.

 _Your hearing has gotten worse hasn't it?_

 _Please don't tell anyone. I don't want them to worry._

 _When did it deteriorate?_

 _After the firewall. Not sure if it was the coma, or the firewall thing itself._

 _Do you find your hearing taxed during the mental exercises you practice with Ness?_

 _Ness?_ I asked, shocked for a moment. Carlisle smiled and re-signed 'Renesmee'.

 _It's what Jacob has taken to calling her. It's caught on a little. Certainly easier to sign and say. I would say that I'm surprised you hadn't heard it yet, but now I understand why._

Ness. It seemed like such a short summation. Such an ordinary name. At least Renesmee sounded complicated, like her. But, if she was using it too, then perhaps that's how she wanted to be now. Perhaps she wanted life to be simple and ordinary. It would certainly be much simpler without me walking around. She and Jacob could be so happy. I could almost picture their life together, content and loving, something I would never have the honor to experience. The candle in front of me flickered dangerously. I took a deep breath.

 _Uh... no. Or maybe. I hadn't noticed really. Usually I'm too focused on trying to avoid distractions and get whatever task she's set aside done. Look. I've been working on this one._ I leaned forward, putting my hand close to the candle. I blew, and the candle flame seemed to roll off of the wick, landing in my hand. I brought it close to my other hand, transferred it to my pointer finger, and then back to the candle.

 _Incredible control. And it doesn't seem to affect you physically - touching the flames I mean._

 _Sort of. I feel kind of dried out when I do these. I felt like I'd been baked in an oven after the firewall._

 _Some kind of internal dehyrdation? A defense mechanism perhaps? It could be linked to your hearing - perhaps fluid transfer in your brain or ears? You should probably stop practicing until we know more._

"No!" I said, too harshly, and far too quickly. Carlisle's eyes lit with concern. I continued, signing again. _It doesn't really matter if the practice is causing my hearing loss. I need to practice. I need to make sure I don't blow anyone up accidentally. No more houses, no more injuries. Besides... it passes the time._

I stole the candle flame again, splitting it into two, then three, then four, pieces, attributing each flame to a finger. By the time I had ten flaming fingertips Carlisle had still not moved. I pulled them all together, and set them on top of the dry wick again.

 _I understand._ Carlisle signed. He looked back towards the house. _Your father is coming._

I blew out the candle, rolling it towards the house, and out of sight. It was simply a summons for dinner. I hadn't noticed the time. I rarely felt hungry anymore. If it weren't for the diligence of the Cullens, I wonder if I'd remember to eat at all.

.

.

 **Edward**

It had been long enough that my eyes were no longer red. When I could stand to look at myself in the mirror, they were black. Admittedly, they were blacker than they had ever been before. I finally felt physically the toll that Carlisle's first few weeks of death had taken. It got to a point were you weren't even in pain any more. It was as if my brain had given up sending whatever signals related to hunger or thirst. I wasn't sure how long I had been gone. Weeks certainly. The days were blurred, and confusing. I had spent them active, and busy. I had given myself the menial task of trying to find James' mate, Victoria.

After James had attacked, and provoked us, Victoria had disappeared. Emmett had lost her in the ocean. I began to track north along the coastline, trying to detect any scents or signs, talking to anyone who might provide an image of her. I found nothing. The phone in my pocket buzzed again. I reached down to delete the message. Alice had tried almost daily to contact me. Carlisle, Esme, and even Jasper had contributed. I deleted all of their messages, never answered their calls. I needed time, and space. Those were two things my family seemed to be having a hard time with.

I had almost killed her. I _had_ killed her. Bella, my soul, my companion, drained by my own doing, my own lack of self control. The morbid jokes she made had come to fruition. The trust she had in me had been obviously misplaced. She was so naive, so full of optimism.

When I had previously thought of her death, Carlisle had said "When she does, you would be much as Marcus became to Aro and Caius. A soul-less shell. It is, in my opinion, a fate worse than death, and you are too proud to let that befall you."

He had been right. In that moment, when Alice had begun tearing me away from Bella's nearly dead body, I had begun to reel, my mind, normally so calculating, had spiraled out of control. I had lived what felt like a hundred years in the moments between my body hitting the floor and Bella's eyes opening again. I couldn't do that again.

Carlisle had been wrong. It wasn't that I was too proud to let it befall me, it was that I was too weak.

I wasn't strong enough to lose her a second time. If she asked me again, I'd have to change her. And I couldn't bear burdening her with this hell of a life.

I wasn't strong enough to go on without her.

Without me, she was safe.


	98. Chapter 98

Life progressed. The problem that I seemed to be having with it - was that I was missing large bits of it. My days, which I had so astutely remembered before - probably because of my hearing loss and my need to observe and process in high detail that which was around me - had become blurs, pinpointed with moments of clarity. Normally those moments were when I was with Renesmee - Ness - in practicing my new abilities. I was becoming quite skilled, according to my tutor. We were practicing outside, in the greenery of the Cullen's expansive backyard. Jacob loved being a part of these tests, watching me progress. He kept saying it was freaky seeing breakable little me, do so much damage to other people.

"You're getting really good at this Bella." Renesmee beamed, a small expression of shock on her face. I had just learned how to make a small version of the firewall I had made before, wrapping it around a single person, instead of a whole house. Now that Carlisle had me on the lookout, I was trying to also evaluate whether my hearing was connected to the use of the fire. I couldn't tell in this moment, but the concentration effort of wrapping the small circle of flames closely around Jacob (my willing - if nervous - test subject), had spiked a fierce headache. "I've never had someone take so quickly to it."

I smiled, and extinguished the flame quickly. Jacob relaxed a little, then shivered.

"Damn it's cold after that." Goosebumps rippled up and down his arms.

"I thought you never got cold." I said. Ness laughed - unheard by Jacob in her spirit form. He could only see her in that form when he was a wolf, and only talk with her when she was driving the body. It felt very much like the star crossed lovers. If I wasn't in the way, they'd be able to move on with their lives. I tried to quench the thought. Between Renesmee and Jasper intruding on my feelings, I felt like I'd be pinned down for a psych eval at any minute.

"Yeah well you try stepping between a sauna and an icebox and see what happens." He quipped back. Jacob - to his credit - spent equal amounts of time with me and Renesmee, never asking me to step out. I had a feeling he was trying very much to share his best friend and his... girlfriend, I guess... without offending either of them. It was always Renesmee or I that initiated the switch, and more often than not, it was me. I felt like she was trying to avoid pushing me out too much as well. I just felt like an energy and effort drain for both of them.

The Cullens had their own lives back to some semblance of order. Charlie had secured a house for us through the insurance money and technically, I lived there now. It was closer to La Push, further from the school. I'd helped for a few days with the move, but it had been mostly the Cullens that had done the heavy lifting. I had slept there maybe once or twice in the time we'd had the house - which was coming up on two weeks now. Living with the Cullens was the easier option. I had people to remind me to eat and sleep, and Jacob and Renesmee could spend time here. We could all talk about supernatural stuff without worry. I spent as much time as I needed to at my new house to assure Charlie that I was fine. He was thankfully busy with work - busy with an alarming amount of murder within the county limits, and adjacent counties. At first it could be attributed to wildlife and nothing was overly suspicious, but the amount of bodies beginning to pile up was getting bizarre. The Cullens didn't seem to be worried - at least from what I could ascertain, but with their knowledge of Renesmee's and my sneaking abilities, I wouldn't be surprised if they were worried, and having secret family discussions while they were out hunting. The only news of any interest that had come from them recently was good news... in theory.

Alice informed us that Rosalie and Emmett would be arriving relatively soon. Alice hadn't been able to pin down the date yet, as the mini-vacation they had taken to get away from the family dispute and drama, had apparently become boring, and they wanted to come back. Little did they know they'd be in for more interesting news developments when they got back.

I was shocked out of my daydreaming by Jacob. He walked over to the porch, grabbing a blanket, and wrapping up in it. Ness watched him, with a huge, coy smile on her face. She enjoyed just being near him.

"Can you make this warmer, without burning me?" He asked, shaking out the damp blanket a little.

"Sure. Give it here." I wrapped myself up in it and focused on the warming sensation I'd gotten quite good with. Once the blanket smelled a little of hot wool, I pulled it off and handed it back. He gleefully wrapped up this time.

"Ugh. I preferred the eye-candy." Ness sighed. I smiled lightly. I wanted to give them some private time. Maybe go exploring for a couple of days.

"Jacob...Ness..." I began, both of them looked at me. "I think I want to go exploring for a little. See how far I can actually go on this psychic tether we've got."

"How do you mean?" Jacob asked.

"How far are you trying to go?" Ness asked, simultaneously.

"I just want to pick a direction, and run for a while. See if I can get to Canada or something." I said to Renesmee, and looked over at Jacob. "We can separate to quite some distance, as you know already, I just want to know if there's a limit."

They both stood quietly for a few seconds, contemplating.

"What if you get lost?"

"I'm bound to get lost. But I can generally follow the coast, and find a town, plus if I feel like my hold on my own body is getting tenuous, then I'll zip back."

"I don't think you will." Ness muttered. "With my first body, I just always knew how to get back. I've never tried to go as far as you, admittedly, but you just...can. It's difficult to explain."

Jacob looked up towards the house suddenly and I turned around. Alice was standing there.

"Would you like me to go with you?" Alice asked me, in her usual paired ASL and English.

"But you wouldn't be able to see me." I responded.

"But you'd have company. I can talk to myself for hours on end you know. And if you want me to stop just light a nearby tree on fire or something." Alice smiled. She would. She'd run to the ends of the earth with me and for me. But not today. Today I needed some alone time.

"It's okay Alice." I smiled, walking over to hug her. "I appreciate the offer, but I think that my life is a little crowded nowadays. I just want some me time."

Alice smiled, nodding. She was trying to not look sad. I knew her well enough to know that. But I really did need the space. I needed to breathe. I needed to think. I was tapped on my shoulder and I turned around to look at Jacob.

"When are you going?" Jacob asked - practical as ever.

"Now's a good a time as any. I won't get hungry or fatigued while I'm out there. The worst I could do is fall asleep and accidentally end up back here." I laughed. I pushed myself out to where Renesmee currently stood, and she hopped instantaneously back into my body. I watched, for the first time, how my own posture changed when she entered me. She stood taller, more confidently than I. And I'd already noticed the strange way her face muscles shifted. Her face was noticeably different when she was driving the meat suit. In the spirit form, I could suddenly hear so much more, and reveled in the noise. It was becoming a sad experience being trapped in my own hard-of-hearing form. Ness was having to learn ASL too, with my body becoming so inept at the hearing thing. She was - of course - getting quite good at it.

"See you later guys." I smiled, knowing only Renesmee could hear me.

"Bye Bella." She whispered.

And I ran. I wasn't sure what direction I was going at first, until I hit the beach. I must have side-stepped La Push in the forest, because I'd not bumped into that. I turned right, figuring that it was the direction that should then lead north, and continued my run. Hearing the crashing sounds of the waves, the barking of the gulls, and catching the occasional conversations of people as I ran was amazing. I felt much like Patrick Swayze had probably felt in Ghost, running through people, spying on interesting things, and going about my own business. I ran and ran, until it was dark, and then much after. Following the beach at night in the light of the moon, running carelessly along rocky cliffs and jumping across difficult gorges with ease. This was undoubtedly what it felt like to be a vampire. The care-free nature of the run was unimaginably freeing, and I felt genuine happiness for the first time in a while. I could still feel that tug, that inexplicable knowledge of where my body was and how to return to it, like a string.

As I ran I began to wonder if I could do undersea exploration, or what would happen if Ness went to the moon. I began thinking about the difficulties of frozen or desolately hot places, and how easy the Cullens, and now I, could explore and revel in the beauty around us. There were biological marvels that could be explored that I could do, where even the Cullen's could not. I could follow a herd of elephants, or dangerous creatures like gorillas, without ever being detected. I could do an entire lifetime's worth of scientific research, first hand. I could go and become a political spy, creeping in on dangerous situations, or gathering intel, for which I would have no risk of detection.

I was so wrapped up in the possibilities that I didn't notice him until I ran straight through him. I stopped dead, turning around. He stood, still as a statue, looking out into the ocean. It was Garrett. He looked exactly the same as when I had met him in the desert that strange night. He didn't seem to be in any hurry, waiting, as he was by the beach. I wondered what he was up to. His eyes were bright red - the side effect of a fresh meal - and I wondered what he was doing, just standing there. I stood beside him, looking out into the sea. He sighed, pretty heftily, and then went through the motions of cracking his knuckles, though I heard no sound. Was he weird for waiting here, or was I weird for watching him? His head cocked suddenly, and he looked out into the ocean. I saw a faint, far-away splash, and smiled. He was watching whales. They were too far out for my eyes to see clearly, but I had no doubt that his enhanced vision was giving him a clear view. I watched his face as it flickered with a slight happiness whenever a breach occurred. It suddenly occurred to me that I was being quite rude, intruding on a personal moment. I began to walk away, on my original coastal path. Some super secret agent I'd be... wracked up with guilt and embarrassment at anything private. I looked along the beach and it's coarse rocks. No wonder there were no people along this segment. The rocks themselves were sharp and jagged. I looked back at Gareth, and saw that he stood barefoot, balanced on what looked like two quite painful rock perches. I snorted to myself and he suddenly looked towards me. Had he heard me? The sensation of my blood running cold flitted through me. I made a mental note that that particular sensation was mental rather than physical, and then had the rather surprising shock of someone running through me. I hadn't heard them coming at all.

I then had the more unpleasant downfall of emotion that resulted from that person _also_ being someone familiar.


	99. Chapter 99

She had brilliantly red hair, and I hadn't thought I'd be seeing her ever again. For some reason - and looking back on it I had absolutely no reason to - I had believed this woman dead. They had never told me she was dead. James was dead. The man who had - what seemed like forever ago - dragged me through the forest like a child does a rag doll. I had very nearly died. The Cullens had found themselves in a complicated race against time, a manhunt through the forest, trying to save my life. James had certainly died - ripped to shreds and burned by Alice and Jasper. But Victoria... she had escaped. They had lost her, never to be seen again. Alice was undoubtedly watching her decisions, figuring out where she was, if she were too close. So how had she missed this? I wasn't sure how far I had gone, but a human running at a swift pace for just over a day wouldn't get me too far out of Forks. Certainly for a vampire as well, this was a quick hop and step away from me. Perhaps nothing came of this meeting... or perhaps my being intermingled with Renesmee made our immediate future too blurry and complicated to see.

"Good evening." Victoria said, and I unwittingly let out a breath I'd been holding. It was surreal still, being able to see and not be seen.

"Victoria, wasn't it?" Garrett asked politely, nonchalantly, seeming wary, and - in my opinion - less comfortable with her than he had looked on that distant night with Edward and I.

"Indeed. How are you? How's the hunting?" She smiled, looking dangerous, flirty. Garrett laughed.

"I don't hunt here. The entire Olympic Peninsula is claimed by a significantly sized coven. I come for the view."

The coven he was referring to was of course the Cullen family. They asked their friends not to hunt near their homes, to avoid complications for them. It sort of touched me that Garrett, even presently unbeknownst to Alice and the others, would be honoring that, and enforcing it for others. Garret had barely looked at her, though his whole body seemed on the brink of attack rather than ease at the view. The whales he had been watching were still splashing away in the distance.

"You also come when requested, apparently." Victoria blinked coyly at him. Garrett's eyes flicked over her, taking her in. If I had noticed it - however fast it had seemed to me, the action which could have been done in mere moments had been drawn out forcibly. He wasn't taking any of her games. Friendly conversation was all that was occurring today.

"If I hadn't have been coming to the area, I wouldn't have agreed to meet you." Garrett warned, his tone and response still wary. "What exactly do you need?"

It was Victoria's turn to take a pause. She pressed her hands together in a steeple... this was business.

"I'm calling in a favour."

"I don't owe you any favours." Garrett responded, looking genuinely shocked, and forgetting about the whales.

"You owe James." She pointed out instantly, as if she had known that this would be his response. "And as his mate, I would hope it would extend."

Garrett narrowed his eyes at her, and then turned his gaze back to the horizon; to the whales. "I'll repeat. What exactly do you need? I'm no dog for you to command."

"All I need is information." She replied sweetly and courteously.

"On?"

"The Cullens."

Garrett's face made no discernible move, but he folded his arms. It took him a long while to answer, and his response was careful and calculated.

"There are seven of them. They have the claim here on the peninsula. They're good friends of mine. Fast, dangerous, talented. My extension of debt to you is not worth their ire."

Victoria paused, seeming to contemplate for a moment. Garrett's tone had made it evident he would not be the ally she had hoped for or counted on. "What about the others like them? I've heard there are more."

Garrett paused this time. I was waiting with baited breath. What exactly was her goal here?

"There are more. In Alaska. Denali I believe." He issued a warning again. "Their coven is smaller, but equally as talented. Some of them _more_ so, from what I've heard."

"You've never met them?"

"The Cullens keep trying to send me that way." Garrett admitted. "But I always seem to get distracted." He gestured toward the aquatic spectacle occurring off the coast.

Victoria bit her lip, thoughtfully, paying no attention to the natural beauty before her. "Fine." She began to walk away, clearly done with this forced interaction. "Good evening."

"A word of warning." Garrett's voice rang out on the beach. Victoria slowed, but didn't stop in her walk. "The Cullens are the second most powerful coven in the world that I have ever come across, aside from the Volturi. Whatever venture you are concocting against them I would suggest you drop." He smiled, and took a moment to watch her retreating form for a while.

I continued to watch Garrett. He eventually gazed back to the ocean, but he seemed less peaceful about it this time. Studying his face up close, I could see that his eyes squinted slightly, then opened, then squinted again. He was clearly having some kind of internal debate.

"Aw hell, why not? It's a short trek." And he began to walk in the direction that I had been running from. There was a pretty sturdy chance he was going to go and visit the Cullens. Alice would have usually warned them, but I had the feeling that Renesmee and I had given her enough of a headache that she may have been doing what she tended to do to relax recently - focus on her and Jasper, and the little predictable mundane events of the day. She was unused to working hard at the gift that had so easily come to her before. I was going to have to probably make the trip back.

I couldn't outrun Garrett... but with the retractable leash that Renesmee and I held, I could get back there in a few moments. Even Garrett couldn't teleport. I had never instigated the snap back - Renesmee was so practiced at it, and we were rarely away from each other for long. I sat down - a moot point really in my non-physical state - and breathed deeply. I thought about my body, how it felt when I was in it, and the general direction I'd left it. I conjured up the mental image of me, fully physical, and how it felt being there - quiet, awkward, and hollow.

I suddenly experienced an extreme dampening of noise, my usual slight dizziness, and then an extremely confusing array of smells and an extremely hot sensation. I opened my eyes, and found my face pressed against a scathingly hot mass of sculpted copper skin. I froze with shock. There was an outrush of air, and a worried, familiar voice.

"Did I hurt you?"

It was Jacob. I realised that the reason I was so hot was that I was pressed - mostly naked - up against his mostly naked body. I barely had time to register all that my senses had taken in before every inch of me recoiled in horror. I shrieked, scratched, kicked, and clawed my way up and out. We both tumbled, in pain, and confusion out of Jacob's tiny bed, and down onto his floor. I hit my head on something on the way down, and the rest of the world exploded in warmth.


	100. Chapter 100

When I woke up I couldn't breathe. I could hear absolutely nothing, and I didn't understand what was going on. There was a dull thumping in my head, and I dared to open my eyes. I had to shut them instantly. I was completely blinded by a confusing bundle of bright lights - orange, blue, red. I tried to breathe in and my inner eyelids speckled with color. I tried to breathe out and I couldn't either. I wasn't even panicked, just confused. Light headed probably. I opened my eyes again, squinting through the cacophony of light. There was an orange blaze to my left, that was undoubtedly a fire. Behind that appeared to be a fire engine, and a police car. Oops. A drop of water splattered onto my eyelid, and my eyes flickered up. I did not see an empty, rain filled sky. In fact - at first my eyes only saw a black negative of the bright fire. After that, I was extremely confused to find - within my field of view, Jacob, and Charlie. Jacob's head was buried in Charlie's shoulder, and both men were very close. After a short mental analysis, I realised that I was still at least partially unclothed, and it was raining. On top of that, I realised that I was lying in Charlie's lap, and he had twisted away from me to hug Jacob. I was suddenly crunched tighter, folded up towards Charlie's chest, unwillingly, and I heard a low oath, in Renesmee's voice.

"Stop fucking moving her. This is hard enough as it is."

That too made no sense. I closed my eyes again and waited for something else interesting to happen - like breathing. I thought that a breath would probably be a great idea. I felt a very strange heat suddenly in my chest, around my heart and my lungs and my eyes snapped open again. I took a frantic and pained breath that seemed to explode out of my chest. As soon as I did, I tasted blood and my body shuddered in pain. My ears began thrumming with the sound I hadn't noticed I was missing - my heartbeat. It seemed thunderously loud, and painful, and I suddenly wished I was back to not breathing and beating. With each beat and breath I found that more things in my body were hurting.

"Bella? Bella!" I heard Renesmee scream, and her face appeared above mine. In seeing my face, she let out a distinct cry of happiness. She looked strained, tired, scared even. I could hear the rumble of my father's chest and recognised that he was frantically repeating my name as well. I could feel a burning hot hand grasping mine, far too tightly, and I had to assume it was Jacob, as Charlie was busy crushing me to his chest. Tears streamed from my eyes as if they were being pressed out by Charlie's squeeze. It wasn't until I felt the icy cold shock of a pair of familiar hands that Charlie released me. My eyes flicked up to the concerned, relieved face of Carlisle Cullen. He was less comforting than Charlie, but it helped immensely. He tore me away from Charlie's grasp, setting me on my side, and his piercingly cold hands probed over my chest and back. The tears were running freely down my face, and I didn't understand what had happened, or why I hurt everywhere. Renesmee walked around into my line of sight again, bending down to press her face close to mine.

"Sleep now, love. You'll be alright. We'll talk later."

That sounded certainly a lot more logical than being awake right now. So I trusted those endlessly brown eyes, and floated off.

...

...

...

 **Alice - An hour earlier**

Bella was away - running somewhere. Away from us, away from her life, from her problems, from everything. According to Jasper, she felt lonely, distant, burdensome, separated here. With Jacob and Ness and their new relationship she had gotten even worse, more pronounced. The only enjoyment she got in her days was through the practice of their fire gift. I was nestled in Jasper's arms, trading emotions with him. It was something small, slow, intimate, that we did. I was currently sending him a tasteful mix of concern, sadness, and grief, which Jazz knew was regarding Bella. He sent back some reassurance, love, patience, similar concern, and resignation. It would take time, dealing with her. She'd lost as much - more, even - than what we had, and had much less brain and body room to deal with it. Not to mention she had the added trouble of Renesmee in her body. I sent Jasper complication, confusion, and unease. He sent back patience, empathy and the long, lonely wait he had previously endured waiting for me, for connection and family. The message was clear; this wasn't any easier for Ness than for us. She'd waited a lot of lifetimes to find her family, and had to work her way into settling in. We weren't exactly easy to accept or live with after all.

Suddenly, my environment changed into the clear dream-like state that made up my visions.

 _Someone was walking up to the front door of the Cullen house. A bare-foot, nomadic vampire, tall, relaxed, smiling. Familiar. Carlisle greeted him before he reached the door, Esme by his side._

 _"Garrett! It's been an age!"_

 _"Carlisle, Esme" Garrett smiled, "I do apologize."_

 _Small talk, including how long it had been since they themselves had met, acquaintances, and a tour of the house ensued. Garrett was surprised by the lack of presence._

 _"I thought you all lived together? It smells like there's only a few residents here, at least one a human, and a... dog?" Garrett asked, casually._

 _"Rosalie and Emmett are travelling. Edward is taking an extended personal vacation." Carlisle replied delicately._

 _"Trouble with the missus?" he asked. Carlisle paused a moment, looking questioningly at Garrett._

 _"I met her - Bella, I think - in Phoenix with Edward. It smells like she's still here, and human. She had quite a distinct smell. Can't place the other one, or their awful wet dog."_

 _"It's a long story, to be honest with you." Carlisle replied carefully, as they made their way into Carlisle's library. Jasper and I were already there, perched delicately on the window bench. Esme curled up quietly on a couch, and Garrett sat down, lazily in an armchair, facing a fresco of the Volturi family. He sneered distastefully._

 _"I don't much like your decor, but I can appreciate the tribute to your royal life."_

 _"A life I was quite happy to leave. Better things awaited." Carlisle gently squeezed Esme's knee. "But I am aware you haven't come here today to talk socially..." Carlisle nodded towards me. Garrett winked, and laughed._

 _"That's quite true. I came to deliver a warning." He started, as I heard the vibrating staccato of Carlisle's phone in his pocket. "At least...I ... think... it's... a... warn..."_

My vision blurred out, the familiar, hated, black and confusing haze that pertained to Bella and Ness, or Jacob and his pack. I wouldn't be able to see anything else after they became involved. I skimmed forward, testing people's futures, and found that all of ours were blurred in the same manner for a large chunk of the foreseeable future. I sighed aloud in discontent. It had been nice, rewarding even, having a vision that was useful, interesting, and long. I loved Bella to the moon and back. I was starting to enjoy Ness, and really warming up to the endless happiness that was the little lap-dog Jacob.

Mild interest and contentment radiated from Jasper. He liked it when I was happy, and I was always thrilled at intriguing visions.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we're expecting an unusual house guest." I said in a lightly loud voice, playing with Jasper's collar. "Of the vampire variety."


	101. Chapter 101 - Jacob

**Jacob**

Ness and I were having an amazing evening. We'd genuinely enjoyed hanging out, walking around the reservation. She had told me about some of her previous lives, male and female hosts, describing the general outline of how her lives had gone, how many children she had raised, and the jobs she'd had. We did some work on my car - she had some basic mechanic training, and I talked about my pack. She reminisced about the similarities between her tribe and mine, and I reveled in the simple sound of her voice through Bella's mouth. It was particularly strange sometimes, but I could hear the difference. I swore I could. I also knew whenever she shifted out into the spirit form, because suddenly my focus would become an empty point in space. My instinct was to shift into my wolf form, so that I could watch her. In Bella I could touch her though. That was confusing. My best friend, empty, being filled by my soul mate.

We had dinner with my dad, who seemed to have no issue with the whole Ness-Bella thing. He didn't slip up once, in all our interactions. The previous night we'd been up pretty late, so we wanted to turn in early. Dad stayed watching TV, probably trying to give us some privacy, in our small house, but it didn't really matter.

Ness, unlike myself, didn't really need to sleep unless she was in Bella's body. With Bella out, 'exploring' as she said, Ness did need to recharge. I laid down, on my small cramped bed, and thought about Bella. She had left to give us time and space, that I knew. I hated it, and loved it at the same time. Ness snuggled down on top of me, very innocently at first. Problem is, I run hot. It wasn't long before we were both shirtless, Ness still in her bra, purely for temperature regulation purposes. She was slipping her hand around some dangerous places, and it was extremely tempting, but we both yawned and laughed, and relaxed instead.

I wasn't long asleep before Ness shocked me out of my bliss with a sharp convulsion. My first thought was that I'd rolled on her, or elbowed her, or something.

"Did I hurt you?" I looked over what I could see from her, and something was different. It wasn't Ness, it was Bella. Within a millisecond she shrieked, clawed, and tried to kick her way out of the bedsheets we were tangled up in. We both tumbled out of my small bed, and I saw the back of her head smoke the corner of the dresser on the way down. In that instant, my entire room erupted in a chest tightening, searing hot wave of fire, and the ceiling came crashing down on top of us.

Something hit us so hard I _heard_ Bella's bones crack. A beam in the roof, I would suspect. It had fallen straight down, in a hot, fiery rage and pummeled her into the floor. Ignoring the pain of being freshly burned, I grabbed it, pushing as hard as I could to get her free. Everything in my sight was on fire - and I heard my dad cry out. I burst through the window, Bella's limp body in my arms. I could feel the scratching and searing of the glass, and the burns. Ness appeared beside me instantly.

"Drop her! Get Billy!" she yelled at me. I obeyed instantly, dropping Bella on the grass, just outside the house, and dove back in.

I had always been ashamed of how small my house was - particularly in comparison to the Cullen household. But right now, it had never felt larger. I couldn't get through the house easily, everything was burning and crumbling. Everything hurt to touch, to move, to burst through. Even breathing was burning my lungs. It was a terrific blaze, and completely terrifying. I found him after what seemed like hours, but was undoubtedly only seconds. He was fine, mostly protected - ironically enough by his curse of a wheelchair. In the blast he'd been knocked sideways, and the only piece of ceiling to come down on him was caught by the stupid wheel, and created a tiny protective triangle. I lifted him up, and out, fast as I could, and blasted through the nearest window I could. I put my dad down gently on the grass, well away from the house. I frantically checked him over, seeing that aside from a small bump on his head, he looked okay. I looked around for help, then realised that Bella - no, Ness - was crawling desperately away from the blaze, towards me.

"Call Carlisle." she managed to say, blood spewing from her mouth, before collapsing in a heap. I crawled frantically over to her, seeing spots in my eyes. Ness was still in there, but I couldn't see her chest moving, I pressed my fingers to her neck, stuck my head on her chest. She wasn't breathing, and I couldn't hear her heart.

"Bella? Bella?!" She was totally limp. No pulse. No breath. I couldn't feel anything, except the rooting pull of Renesmee nearby, but that meant nothing about whether her body was okay. I pulled her up, checking her over. There was so much blood, pouring out of her mouth, and I could see bruising under her skin, dark purple splotches, seeping around her ribs, and disfigured chest. She was dead. Totally dead. I patted my pockets, tears of pain and fear streaming down my face. My phone was there, and although cracked, it was alive. I dialed Carlisle instantly.

"Doc, I need you here. My house. Bella's dead. She was crushed in the fire. The whole house is gone. She's dead. She's not breathing, I can't hear her. I can't hear her heartbeat. She's gone. There's blood everywhere. My dad..." I looked over at him. I could see his chest moving. "Is okay - I think. Not dead."

"I need you to tell me what happened."

"Just get here!" I snapped back.

"I'm en route. I'm running now. Can you tell me what happened?"

"We were asleep. Bella popped back, freaked out, and hit her head. Then the whole thing went up in flames. The whole house is on fire. The ceiling fucking came down on us, on both of us."

"You were able to get yourself, Bella, and your father to safety?" Carlisle asked. Later, I'd look back on that and find it an astute observation.

"Yeah. Dad's fine. Just a bumped head, I think. He'll be pissed when he wakes up though."

"And you?"

"I... uh..." I looked down, for the first time. A lot of patches of my skin were pink, seared, freshly burned and already healing. I couldn't feel any breaks, or anyhting. All my woulds were superficial. "I'm okay. Pretty healed already, though my eyes are stinging. How are you going to explain getting here?"

"Esme will bring my car as quickly as she can. Is Bella still unresponsive?" I looked back at her. The answer got stuck in my throat. I blinked back the pain in my eyes and closed them for a moment. A chill ran up my back, and a cold hand touched my shoulder.

"Sit still for a moment." Carlisle's voice in person seemed as cool and collected as he had on the phone, but watching him I could see the worry and fear that drove him. He crouched quickly over Bella, feeling her battered body. He quickly abandoned her, folding her arms on top of her chest, and placing a kiss on her forehead, in favour of checking my dad over. "He should recover well. From what I can ascertain he will only have a mild concussion at best."

I was barely listening. I was watching Bella. I could have sworn I saw her eyelids flicker. But Carlisle would know. He would know best. I looked over to him.

"Her ribs have been crushed on the right side. I would guess by the bruising in the chest cavity that one pierced her heart." He said softly, his body turned towards me, but his eyes on Bella's limp form. "Without a heartbeat... Not even I can save her now."

I wasn't sure how long I sat limply on the ground. I felt the doc probe my skin, and even flinched as he pulled something from my eye - minute glass shards apparently - but I just sat, numbly looking at her. I'd lost Bella. Bella! My best friend. I could still sense Renesmee nearby, and wondered if she too was standing here, watching, mourning. I would have to shift into a wolf to see her. But somehow the effort right now... it was too much. I saw the firelight flickering across her skin. She wasn't burned at all - Ness's protective gift - but there was little she could have done about the fucking ceiling caving in.

It felt like a slow blur that moved too quickly. Some kind of sped up, slo-mo, music video that danced around me. EMS showed up. As did Carlisle's car, with Esme inside it. I had never before felt particularly attached, or protective, of a vampire before... but watching the motherly, composed, and warm figurine of Esme turn into a shrieking and mourning banshee, clutched desperately in her husband's arms as she sobbed... that shit changes a person.

Charlie was worse. As soon as he arrived, and was given the news, he fought his way to her body, folded Bella into his lap and just cried. Unlike Esme, he was alone now. I sat beside him, crouched into the best hug I could muster under the circumstances. He pulled her close, in one last defiant squeeze, and suddenly - after being unresponsive for nearly 30 fucking minutes... Bella convulsed in pain, taking a shuddering, spluttering, bloody breath.

"BELLA? Bella?" Charlie and I both cried, attracting the attention of Carlisle immediately. He began to disentangle himself from Esme, only for all three of us to have our brains blown by her arms flailing weakly in pain, and her eyes spin open. Carlisle gave up all thought of acting any kind of human - something I'd ding him for later if Bella made it out of this. He was at our side instantly, tearing Bella away from Charlie's crushingly desperate hug. He laid her on her side, probing through and around her ribs and chest again.

"I..." He breathed, looking at me with a gaze that said 'have never seen anything like this before', but finished with "Must have missed her pulse in the commotion. She's barely breathing. I need to operate now."


	102. Chapter 102 - Alice

**Alice**

I couldn't see Bella... but everyone had heard the start of that phone call.

Garrett had arrived here, exactly as I had forseen. He had toured the house, made the small talk and we had finally gotten around to the part where we were all waiting for him. He would be delivering a message that I hadn't seen the end of. We were all perched in the Carlisle's study, exactly as I had seen before.

"I came to deliver a warning. At least I think it's a warning..." he began cautiously, as Carlisle's phone buzzed in his pocket, interrupting Garrett's explanation. Carlisle briefly took out his phone, frowned at it and looked up.

"Excuse my taking this, but this is unusual." Carlisle motioned to the phone and pressed the answer key, making to leave the room in an effort for privacy. Jacob's booming and frantic voice reached all of our supernaturally tuned ears before he had the chance to even greet the caller.

"Doc, I need you here. My house. Bella's dead. She was crushed in the fire. The whole house is gone. She's dead. She's not breathing, I can't hear her. I can't hear her heartbeat. She's gone, there's blood everywhere..."

I didn't hear the rest. Carlisle had grabbed his doctor's bag and flung himself out of the window. I let out a sharp, shocked breath. Jasper and Esme looked at me instantly. I searched, tried pushing forward into the future, ANY future. I couldn't see Bella... but then I couldn't ever see Bella anymore. But my family... surely my family would go to a funeral if there was one? After a few seconds of confused searching I realised that we were just as lost and blurry as ever. Charlie. Charlie was detached enough from the stupid wolf pack that he might just have what I needed. I grabbed through his murky darkness until I found what I needed.

 _Charlie was sitting in a new, barely unpacked living room, in a mildly crumpled black suit, a half-finished beer nested in his one hand, cell phone nested in the other. He was 'watching' a TV, but it was muted, and only displaying weather. He looked deathly pale, sleepless, ill almost. His phone rang, and he put it up to his ear._

 _"Yeah?" He paused, listening for the response. "Okay. I'll come by after the..." he swallowed quickly. "...funeral."_

"No!" I cried out in alarm, burying my face into my hands, not fast enough to see Esme's hand clutched at her chest in agony.

"Is this what you were trying to warn us about?" asked Jasper, springing forward towards Garrett. I had hardly recalled he was there.

"I don't know. I don't think so." He held up his hands defensively, talking smoothly and quickly. "I had come here today because a woman by the name of Victoria contacted me earlier today. She's asking a lot about your family, and from what I could gather, not in the best light. From what I could sense anyway, but I didn't smell her heading this way. If anything, she looked like she was headed to Canada."

Esme suddenly stood, bowing her head in dismissal to Garrett. Her voice was shaky, scared. "I have to go. Carlisle will need his car. Thank you for bringing this to us, and I'm sorry we-"

"No no, please don't apologize." Garrett stopped her. "Go."

Esme was in the garage before the 'go' had finished reverberating off the walls. I stood, still shocked, not knowing what to do with myself. Bella. My Bella. She was dead? Garrett took a few moments, wondering about how to proceed. Jasper stood, stock still, looking at me. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, or thinking, or what my face displayed.

"This Bella..." Garrett started gently. Jasper and I looked at him. "I had mentioned before that I'd met her in Phoenix - albeit briefly. She was truly a part of your family?"

"Yes." Jasper had to answer. I couldn't have managed it. Garrett nodded kindly, and continued.

"Then please, pass on my condolences. I am _truly_ sorry for your loss." He stood, walked towards me, lifting my hand to kiss it in dismissal. As he walked to the doorway, Jasper held out his phone, backtracked, and ruffled through Carlisle's desk for a charger.

"If you wouldn't mind taking this? If Carlisle wishes to call and discuss..."

"Of course." Garrett nodded. And he left, phone in hand. I listened for the click of the front door. Jasper still hadn't moved. I was annoyed and angry with him at being able to be so clam, but also grateful that one of us could manage something other than fear and sadness. Something rational. I waited, watching, not knowing what to do with myself. She was gone. And I was - I think - in shock.

Jasper walked across the room, and held onto me. I tried to flash my visions forward into Charlie's future again, but the only part I could find that was definitive, was that moment I'd already seen. So alone. So sad. Jasper held onto me. I searched blindly through the darkness of the immediate future for us too, and aside from seeing Rosalie and Emmett boarding a plane, and Edward in some rancid hotel in the south, I didn't see anything. Jasper held onto me. I had never lost anyone before. Not like this. It had gotten close - certainly nerve wracking with Bella a few times - but now... she was gone. Gone gone. I'd seen Charlie preparing for the funeral. We stood there for a long time, not wanting to move, not wanting to admit that anything had truly transpired. Not even Jasper could hide the tints of his pain as he tried to force false calm on me. I took to counting the breaths I was taking, instead of trying to think about anything - not an easy feat. I tried to watch Garrett's future for a little, watching him meander lazily back through the forest, heading generically south this time, away from here, but as he had no direction or plan, his future was blurry.

My cell phone rang suddenly, startling me. I picked it up instantly, pushing ever so slightly too hard on the buttons.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Alice," it was Esme. She sounded strained, but happy? "Bella's alive... for now. Carlisle is taking her into surgery now. She's in extremely bad condition. She was dead. Carlisle had found no pulse or breath. She has massive internal injury and bleeding. I... I don't understand how Renesmee did it, but she did it."

I sobbed for joy this time. We were apparently going to be making a trip to the hospital.

My eyes were clouded over by another vision - this time of Charlie, on the phone to someone again. He looked the same as he had before, but his suit was soaked with damp from the rain.

 _"Yeah, the funeral was fine. Sue and the kids... they'll be alright I think. I hate to think of them growing up without a dad. Seth's only, what, thirteen?..."_

Oh sure. Only _after_ I have a mental breakdown do I get the clarification that would have avoided the need for the mental breakdown.

"We'll be there soon."


End file.
